Chapter 29 #2
Ashton continues, “No relationship survives without risk, Zane. Eventually, you have to decide if losing her is worth protecting yourself.”
Ryland’s advice keeps circling through my head.
Maybe Maxinne deserves the chance to choose you for herself.
I stare out toward the road again, and all I can think about is the look on Maxinne’s face last night when I told her that we were moving too fast. A sick feeling twists through me as I realize that Ryland is right.
I wasn’t protecting her. I was protecting myself. I let my past convince me that history was destined to repeat itself, only because I was terrified of losing her. I know, deep within my soul, that Maxinne isn’t Lily. What we have together doesn’t resemble that relationship even remotely.
The way we feel about each other isn’t something that’s fragile. It’s been steady from the beginning. We’ve been nothing but honest and intentional. We’ve built everything carefully, piece by piece, with prayer and patience and God woven through every part of it.
God, I’m sorry I allowed doubt to get the best of me when I know I should have trusted in you the whole time. Please forgive me. Please help me fix this.
I drag a hand over my jaw and let out a slow breath as shame burns hot beneath my skin.
“I’m an idiot,” I mutter.
Ryland huffs out a laugh. “Yeah. A little bit.”
Ashton elbows him lightly in the ribs. “More than a little bit.”
I shake my head, more at myself than at either of them. “God practically dropped that woman into my life, and somehow I still found a way to mess things up, when I should’ve trusted Him.”
The corner of Ashton’s mouth twitches faintly at that.
I look down at my boots, replaying every moment from the last few months in painful clarity now.
Maxinne laughing and building friendships with everyone in our group.
Her praying beside me and going to church with me.
Maxinne looking at Covewood with appreciation.
None of that was forced or was because of me pressuring her into staying. No, she chose this, and instead of trusting her enough to believe that, I pushed her away before she had the chance to prove it to me.
Regret crashes into me so hard it nearly makes me dizzy.
I look up quickly. “Did she tell you where she was going?”
Ashton nods once. “Back to Westbridge.”
I straighten immediately. “Today?”
“She said there’s some orientation thing. Apparently, she wasn’t planning on going at first, but after last night, she changed her mind.”
I close my eyes briefly and exhale in defeat. I asked for space, and instead of fighting me on it, she gave it to me. My pulse spikes with sudden urgency. I have to fix this, because I’m completely in love with Maxinne.
“I need to go to her,” I say suddenly, already pushing away from the trailer.
Ryland’s brows lift. “Well, that’s the smartest thing you’ve said all day.”
But my momentum slows almost immediately as another thought crashes into me.
“What if she decides she wants to stay there while she finishes school?”
Neither of them answers, but that’s the real question, isn’t it?
Not whether we love each other, but whether we’re willing to reshape our lives around that love.
I’ve never imagined leaving Covewood. This town is woven into every part of me.
My family and career are here. Every trail, every back road, and every memory I’ve ever treasured somehow leads back to this place.
But then another thought surfaces. I can’t picture a future without Maxinne in it. The question isn’t whether I’d want to leave, but instead, would I be willing to? My answer comes easier than it should.
“If that’s what she needs…” I swallow hard. “Then I’d go.”
Ryland blinks once. “To Westbridge?”
I nod slowly, even though the idea should scare me more than it does. Because leaving Covewood and everything I’ve known for most of my life is something I vowed to myself that I would never do. And yet, I’d be willing to give all of that up for Maxinne.
“I’d move there for a year if that’s what it took,” I admit. “I don’t care where we are as long as we’re together.”
Ryland’s expression softens. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing your job isn’t going anywhere.” He reaches out and places a hand onto my shoulder. “You’re my brother. If you need to leave for a while, then leave. Your spot here will still be waiting on you when you come back.”
Emotion blindsides me so fast it knocks the breath from my lungs. I look away before he can see it written all over my face and drag a hand across my jaw like that’ll somehow help steady me.
“And the cabin’s yours too,” he adds. “Pops made sure of that. It’ll still be there when you get home.”
Home. The word hits differently now, because I realize then that home might not actually be a place anymore for me. It’s wherever Maxinne is.
Ashton nods toward me. “I know a few contractors over in Westbridge. They’re good guys. I can make some calls if you need work while you’re there.”
A disbelieving laugh leaves me as I look between the two of them. Only minutes ago, I felt like everything was collapsing around me, but now, solutions are falling into place faster than I can process them. A slow grin pulls at the corner of my mouth as possibilities begin to unfold in my mind.
“I guess I need to go get my girl.”