Chapter 30 #2
His eyes dip toward my hand resting beside me against the swing before lifting back to mine again, uncertainty flickering there.
“Can I hold your hand?”
A surprised chuckle escapes me at how strangely sweet the question is and how he’s asking permission to touch me. This simple quality about him has me falling even more in love with him.
“Of course.”
I extend my hand to him slowly, the gesture feeling oddly delicate, sort of like a peace offering neither of us wants to mishandle. The second his fingers lace through mine, a zing rushes all the way up my arm. Zane exhales softly before his thumb brushes carefully over my knuckles.
“I’m sorry. I messed everything up.”
I open my mouth immediately, but he shakes his head before I can interrupt.
“Please, let me say this first.”
The porch swing rocks gently beneath us as he looks down at our joined hands.
“I got scared, which is ridiculous because I knew better while it was happening. But hearing your mom talk about you leaving for school and hearing her say that maybe you were making another mistake because of me…”
I look down at our fingers, at the place where his hand has stilled against mine. My gaze travels up slowly from the inside of his wrist to his muscular forearm and the broad swell of his shoulders, before it finally finds his eyes again.
“It resurfaced the fear I thought I’d dealt with already.
I kept thinking about how much you gave up for Derek, and the last thing I ever want is to become another man standing in the way of your future.
So, I convinced myself that pushing you away was somehow protecting you…
and myself. But it turns out that watching you drive away hurt a whole lot worse than everything I was trying to avoid. ”
I watch him carefully as he finally looks back up at me, vulnerability now written across his face. He holds my gaze for so long, his body tense, and I think he’s not going to continue, but he finally says, “I’m sorry for everything.”
His throat bobs in a heavy swallow as his thumb brushes over my knuckles once more before he draws in a slow breath. I want to reach out and make the divot between his brows disappear, releasing the tension in his shoulders.
“And I need you to know I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this work.” His fingers tighten around mine, like he needs me to feel every word before he says the next one. His gaze searches my face, steady and open in a way that still amazes me sometimes. “I’ll always choose you.”
Months ago, Zane once admitted that the only thing he’d ever really wanted was for someone to choose him. And now here he is, with his heart wide open, offering me the very thing he once begged God for.
“I talked to Ryland this morning, and he told me my job would still be there if I needed to leave for a while. And Ashton can put me in touch with some guys he knows here.” His eyes search mine carefully now.
I blink at him. “What?”
He gives me a nervous smile. “I figured if you needed to stay in Westbridge to finish school, then I’d come with you.” He shrugs a shoulder, like uprooting his whole life is somehow no big deal.
I stare at him, completely humbled by the depth of what he’s offering me. This man cares about me enough to leave the home he’s rooted his life in, leave his family and friends behind, all because he couldn’t bear the thought of losing me.
“Zane…”
“I’m serious,” he says quickly. “I don’t care where we live, Maxinne. I only want to be with you.”
The ache behind my ribs gives way as every fear and every uncertainty I’ve carried for weeks suddenly loosens beneath the weight of his honesty. My whole face spreads into a smile, and a confused crease appears between his brows when he notices.
“What?”
I shake my head, squeezing his hand tighter. “You don’t have to move to Westbridge.”
He looks genuinely dumbfounded. “What?”
I laugh softly this time, unable to help myself. “Because I already made my decision. I didn’t come back here only because of orientation,” I explain gently. “I came to meet with my advisor too.”
Understanding moves slowly across his face, and a smile kicks up one corner of his mouth. His eyes settle on me, and oh how badly I’d love to lean in and kiss him, but I still have some explaining to do.
“My advisor helped me restructure my credits. I can finish most of my degree online. I only need to physically be in Westbridge two days a week for my labs and a couple of in-person classes.” Excitement slips into my voice as I keep going.
“I can stay here with Mom during those nights and drive back and forth. It’s what I want to do. ”
His lips part, but he still doesn’t say anything. His eyes search mine as his throat bobs in a heavy swallow, and determination transforms his gaze.
“I’m moving to Covewood. I’ve already decided.” My smile grows as emotion rises into my throat, tears blurring my vision. “No matter what happens between us, that’s where I want to be.”
He stares at me like he can hardly process what I’m saying, until his mouth quirks up in a small grin. My pulse flutters, and my skin grows hot as Zane’s hand slips from mine so he can grab me around the waist and pull me fully across the porch swing into his lap.
A startled giggle escapes me as his arms wrap tightly around me.
“You’re really moving to Covewood?” he asks against my hair, sounding almost disbelieving.
I smile into his shoulder, my arms circling around his neck, relief coursing through me from being in his embrace again. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
His grip tightens as if he still can’t quite believe this is real.
“There’s no sense in you leaving your home, Zane,” I add softly as I pull back enough to lock my gaze with his. “I would never ask you to do that, but I appreciate that you were willing to. I’m ready to make Covewood my home.”
The smile that breaks across his face is so full of relief and love that it nearly undoes me.
“My home,” he says softly, brushing his forehead against mine, “will always be wherever you are.” His hand comes up to cup my face, his thumb tracing my cheekbone. “I love you.”
Tears blur my vision as his words trickle over my skin like warm summer raindrops.
“I love you too,” I whisper, and my pulse stumbles over itself as his hand slides into my hair before his mouth covers mine hungrily.
The kiss crashes into me with all the desperation and certainty we’ve been dancing around.
My fingers grip the front of his shirt, while the porch swing sways gently beneath us, chains creaking softly overhead.
His hands move into my hair, tilting my head back, and the sound he makes low in his throat when I kiss him back harder sends heat rushing all the way down to my fingertips.
His grip tightens at my waist like he never wants to let me go again.
Every fear between us dissolves right here.
When we finally pull apart, we’re both breathless, foreheads resting together as the swing rocks beneath us.
My gaze catalogs the sharp line of his jaw and the fullness of his lower lip.
I’m overwhelmed with the thought that I get to love this man.
That he chose to open his heart up to me and trusts me with it.
“We’re going to build a beautiful life together,” he says, his words a promise.
“I can’t wait to get started.”
We both smile softly, our breaths intertwining together. His thumb touches lightly at my chin, tipping my face to his. As I stare up at the man God led me to, I finally feel ready to step into the life that was waiting for me in Covewood all along.