Chapter 44
Although I’d only seen Tatiana briefly, she was as beautiful as I remembered.
Raven-haired and statuesque, her skin tone was a deep silvery hue, and her ears were delicately pointed.
Tatiana didn’t attempt to glamour herself as she stood before me, hands clasped in front of her.
She wore an off-the-shoulder dress the color of buttercream that hugged her breasts and waist before flaring out at the hips.
Tatiana looked like an ethereal princess straight out of a Disney movie, while I looked like I’d gone a few rounds with a meat grinder and was currently starring in a horror flick.
Not exactly how I wanted to look when I came face to face with Caden’s fiancée—ex-fiancée.
I stared at the would-be Queen, wishing that there had been clothes for me to wear. Maybe a head-to-toe bodysuit. Anything would be better than the lumpy, shapeless robe I currently wore.
“I hope I am not intruding,” she said, her voice carrying a soft lilt that reminded me of someone who was from Great Britain. “But I was hoping you had a few minutes to spare.”
Wondering how rude it would be to say no, I looked around the room like an idiot.
Based on what Caden had told me this morning, I had a good idea of what this conversation would be about.
And considering that I hadn’t even had a drink of anything other than the berry water, I really wasn’t mentally prepared for this.
But more importantly, I needed to find Caden and tell him what I remembered.
Instead, I said, “Sure. Would you like to sit?”
She nodded, and I limped my way to the couch. I was a little too relieved to be sitting. The shower really took a lot out of me, so I plopped down like a horse falling over.
Tatiana sat on the other side of the couch, as graceful as a ballerina, crossing and tucking her ankles and resting her hands in her lap. “How are you feeling?”
“Um, better than I look.” Which was true.
A faint smile appeared. “I’m relieved to hear that. Your injuries are…frightening.”
I blinked.
“I mean, they don’t frighten me, but you must have suffered greatly,” she rushed to correct herself. “I am glad to hear that you killed your tormentor.”
“Yeah,” I said, curling my fingers around the sash of my robe. “I am glad…I killed him.”
Did that sound as dumb as it did to me?
“Aric has haunted the King for far too long,” Tatiana added, surprising me. “What he did to the King’s fiancée all those years ago was an act of pure evil.”
“You…you know about that?”
“Everyone knows what Aric did.” Her head cocked to the side as a frown pinched her brow. “Well, the Summer fae know.”
I stiffened. There was a good chance I was just being sensitive, but that sounded an awful lot like a jab.
“What he did to you was also horrific,” she continued, and I realized that the posture was perfect. She inhaled deeply, appearing to brace herself. “The King was beside himself with worry for you.”
There was a part of me that wanted to pretend like I didn’t know where this conversation was headed, but that would not only be pointless, it would also be cowardly. And I had faced much, much worse.
“Not to sound rude or impatient, but I imagine you’re here to talk about Caden,” I said. Her pale blue eyes widened ever so slightly. “He told me he broke off the engagement.”
Her chin lifted. “Yes, I am here to talk about him.”
“I don’t know what there is to say.” I twisted my fingers around the sash. “I had…I had no idea he ended the engagement until this morning, and I…well, this is super awkward.”
“That it is.” Another small smile appeared. “The entire Court was in the midst of preparing for our mating, and they have no idea it has ended.”
“You haven’t told them?” Admittedly, I didn’t like that. If Caden were so sure about how he felt about me and ending the engagement, why not tell his Court?
“He wanted to wait until I returned home,” she explained. “So that I could avoid any possible embarrassment. While I appreciate the attempt, his refusal will follow me no matter where I go.”
I opened my mouth to apologize but stopped myself. Some innate knowledge told me that she wouldn’t appreciate that. I wouldn’t either. In a way, I was… God, I was the other woman. Unknowingly, but still.
Damn it.
Now I was pissed at Caden all over again.
“But what the King intends has a far greater impact than causing me embarrassment,” she continued.
“That is what I wanted to talk to you about. I doubt you fully understand what it means for him to refuse a Queen of his own kind—and I mean no insult by that. You are most likely not aware of our most intimate and political customs.”
“I’m not,” I admitted as a tiny ball of unease formed in my stomach.
“Once a Prince ascends to the throne, they have certain responsibilities that they must complete within a year of doing so. They must assign a council and choose the best warriors of their Court to become their personal Knights.” Tatiana’s gaze skittered to the curtained window.
“A King must also choose a Queen, one of their kind deemed worthy enough to bear the next generation.”
“And what if they don’t want to be with the opposite sex?” I thought of Fabian, and suddenly I remembered what Tink had said about how Fabian could not be King or did not want to become King.
“Our kind do not limit…sexuality to one sex.” Her nose wrinkled. “That is an entirely human concept, but a King would still be required to marry a female. He may choose to keep a lover.”
I guessed being forced to marry and sleep with someone he was not attracted to wasn’t—understandably—high on Fabian’s to-do list.
I shook my head. “And what if the King chooses not to marry a female fae?”
“What if Caden chooses you, you mean?” Her gaze met mine then. There was no malice in her stare. Nothing but…sorrow. And that made me even more uncomfortable. “He has already chosen you, but you cannot become his Queen.”
“I don’t want to be his Queen.”
Her dark brows lifted. “You do not want him?”
“That’s not what I said,” I replied before I realized what I was saying. “I…I love him. I was in love with him before he became King.” Swallowing, I shook my head. “I didn’t think he loved me, and I didn’t even know…well, none of that matters right now. I do want him.”
And that was true.
I wanted him, even with his mistakes and flaws and stupid decisions. And he wanted me, even with my scars and bitchiness and even though I wasn’t ready.
“Then I am sorry,” Tatiana said.
I jolted. “What for?”
“My Court. You have no idea what will happen if Caden gives up his throne to be with you. And that is what he will have to do to have you,” Tatiana said. “He knows that. I do not believe you know that.”
“No,” I whispered, clearing my throat. “I didn’t. Why must he give up his throne?”
“Because he would not fulfill his duty by taking a Queen.”
“That…that is incredibly stupid.” Letting go of the robe sash, I pushed damp strands of hair back from my face. “Why does having a Queen have anything to do with his ability to rule?”
“Because a King does not rule alone,” she stated.
I stared at her, really having no words. That didn’t sound like a reason. Not a real one, anyway. “The Queen rules, doesn’t she? Morgana? She doesn’t have a King.”
Tatiana paled at the mention of the Queen’s name. “She rules through dark magic, and she had a King when she came into power. One that she slaughtered as he slept. And because she has not remarried, her powers are limited. If she ever does marry again, she will be unstoppable.”
Uh.
Good to know.
“You don’t understand.” Tatiana leaned toward me.
“This is not just some silly rule we follow out of tradition. The entire future of the Court depends on Caden keeping his throne. The responsibility can no longer be given to his brother, not after Caden ascended. Prince Fabian could only take Caden’s place if the King were to die. ”
My unease grew. “What do you mean the future of the Court depends on him?”
“I am glad you asked. Without a King, we would be powerless as we were before he ascended. Our Knights would be weakened, and we would have to return to hiding. The Winter Court could overtake us, and you know what they’re capable of,” she said, lips trembling.
“Not only that, but Caden would be weakened. He would no longer be King, ostracized from the Court, and unprotected. Although he would no longer be King, he would still carry royal blood—blood that the Winter Court could use for unfathomable reasons. The entire Court would be vulnerable.”
“How is that even possible?” I exclaimed. “You had no King for how many years?”
“And as I said, we had to hide during that time. We were weak and could do very little to stop the Winter Court from hunting and hurting humans, from plotting to release the Queen,” she returned. “But not only that, we were not…fruitful.”
“Fruitful?” I repeated.
The centers of her cheeks flushed. “Our Court has not been as plentiful as it once was when we had a King and a Queen. Our…fertility is tied to theirs.”
Oh.
My.
God.
Did these people not believe in science?
Did science not exist for them?
“I can tell you do not believe me.” Tatiana shook her head sadly. “But we are not governed by the biology humans share. There is a…an essence to us that connects us to the King and Queen. When we had a King before, families had six or eight children over the course of their lifespans.”
Good God.
“Now, we are lucky if we have two or three, but that has already begun to change. Without a King or Queen, our race will die out.”
I lifted a hand and then dropped it back to my lap as I refocused on Tatiana.