Chapter 45 #2
I opened my mouth, closed it, and then tried again. “How is that even possible? I’m human.” Mostly. “And he is fae. His genetics can’t cancel out mine.”
“Actually, for the King or for an Ancient, they would.”
I stared at her. “Does science mean nothing to you people?”
A faint smile appeared. “Only to a certain degree, Brighton. We are not human, and we are not bound by human science, biology, or genetics. We are far more superior than that.” A pause. “No offense meant.”
I blinked at her.
“This could explain why the pregnancy is still viable despite the trauma to your body,” Luce went on, a look of curiosity creeping across her face. “A child of a King would be incredibly strong, even at this stage and inside a human incubator.”
“Human incubator?” I repeated. “Can you please never refer to me as that again?”
“Sorry.” She dipped her chin. “I know you are more than that. Sometimes my mind is far too…clinical for the comfort of others.”
“Really?” I said dryly.
Seeming to miss my sarcasm, she nodded. “The King being the father lessens some of my concerns over what risks you’ll face. I would even be willing to suggest that the pregnancy might continue to be viable.”
Viable.
I was beginning to dislike that word. I looked down, realizing I was still wearing the fluffy white robe. “What…? I mean, will this pregnancy be different from a normal one?”
Luce appeared to think that over. “It’s hard to say. Not many Ancients have impregnated a human before. But I can tell you what a pregnancy for a fae is like.”
Unsure if I really wanted to know, I nodded anyway.
“Pregnancy terms are about the same as humans. Nine months. Not many fae are born prematurely without there being a physical cause, like an injury,” she explained. “Most fae only experience sickness during the first two or so months.”
The vomiting spells were suddenly brought to a whole new light. I’d thought it had been the trauma and my stomach adjusting to food.
“The threat of miscarriage also usually only exists in the first two to three months,” she went on. “We are extremely lucky compared to human women in that sense.”
Yes, they were.
“The progression of the fetus is relatively the same as it is for a human.” Luce loosely clasped her hands together. “Come to think of it, our pregnancies are rather uneventful compared to humans’. I imagine yours will be too.”
I slowly became aware that my hand was pressed to my lower stomach. I hadn’t realized that I’d even placed it there. My stomach felt flat—flatter than it had ever been.
Luce studied me like I was some strange creature she’d never come into contact with before. “You’re handling the news well.”
“I am?” A brittle laugh parted my lips. “I think it’s because none of this seems real, and I… after what I’ve gone through? I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve truly processed any of this.” My gaze shifted to the closed door. “It’s not like there’s anything I can do about it.”
“There are options, Brighton.”
My head jerked back to her.
“The same ones available to human women,” she added quietly.
Shock flickered through me. Not because of what she was suggesting. I was relieved to hear that fae women had a choice, but I was stunned that she would even bring it up, considering who the father was.
But then I thought of how her face had paled when she first asked if the King could be the father. “What will happen if the King doesn’t take a Queen?”
The only visible reaction was the tension around Luce’s mouth. “He would be dethroned, and since he’s ascended to the throne already, his brother would not be able to take it. We would be without a King.”
“And the entire Court would fail—would become vulnerable to the Winter fae,” I said.
Luce inhaled sharply through her nose and then nodded. “It would be very…catastrophic for all if that were to happen.”
Tatiana hadn’t lied.
Then again, I hadn’t thought she had.
“Is that why you’re telling me I have options?” I asked, knowing that Luce had no idea that Caden had already ended his engagement with Tatiana. “Because the child and I might get in the way of Caden marrying a fae?”
Her eyes widened slightly. “I’m letting you know you have options because, as a healer that is my duty. What I personally feel has no bearing on what you decide to do.”
I believed her. Luce seemed too, as she said, clinical. “But do you think it will get in the way?”
“What I think is not a part of my duty, Brighton.”
“But what is happening could impact your future,” I persisted.
She looked away, lips pressing into a flat line. She was quiet for so long that I didn’t think she was going to answer. “I believe that our King knows how important it is to the entire Court. He will not fail us.”
My heart did a weird thing. It swelled because even knowing how important his duty was, the King had chosen me. Then it sank all the way to the pit of my stomach because he was going to fail them.
Her gaze slid back to mine. “Tatiana was here before I arrived. I imagine she has become more than aware of the King’s feelings for you.
I do not believe he has spent more than a handful of minutes with her.
I also imagine it was she who filled you in on what would happen if the King doesn’t choose a Queen. ”
Seeing no point in lying, I nodded.
“Did she tell you that while some fae choose to be monogamous, we are accepting of relationships which do not start with one person and end with a second. Especially for someone like our King, whose duties may not align with his heart.”
“She did, but…” My mind was all over the place. “But you’re suggesting that Caden could marry a fae while keeping me and…and our child in the picture?”
“Yes. However, he would also need to provide an heir,” she said. Before I could question that, she added, “I’m sure your child with him will be a full-blooded fae, but only a child between the King and Queen would be recognized as a Prince or Princess.”
“This is some medieval bullshit nonsense,” I told her.
She lifted her hands helplessly. “Be that as it may, would that kind of arrangement be suitable to you?”
“Basically, being a mistress with a child that wouldn’t be recognized—”
“I am sure your son or daughter would be welcomed warmly and would be loved and taken care of,” she interceded. “We are not that medieval.”
Never in my life did I think to even answer a question like this. “No,” I said, and it rang true. “It’s not like I think unorthodox relationships are wrong. I couldn’t care less. It’s just not something I could do. I couldn’t even try.”
Luce opened her mouth and then closed it. Several moments passed. “You don’t have to decide anything right now.”
“But I do.” I closed my eyes briefly. “I mean, I already have. I will keep the b-baby.” I rose swiftly on unsteady legs, causing Luce’s gaze to turn wary. “I’m pro-choice and pro-mind your-own-business. But I can’t do that.”
And I couldn’t.
I looked down at the fluffy robe as a knot of raw emotion choked me.
I was pregnant. This was my child. This was Caden’s child.
Our child. And he or she would be the only thing I would have of Caden.
A small, beautiful piece of him. Proof that our love for one another was real, even if we hadn’t the chance to explore it.
Because I could not risk the world.
Not even for love.