Chapter 53 #2
Pushing open my bedroom door, I halted just inside the threshold.
Last night, I hadn’t really paid attention when I climbed into bed, too caught up in my thoughts.
Now, I cataloged every square inch as if looking for something to be different.
The drapes had been parted, letting in the morning sunlight.
The velvety-soft cream bedspread had been smoothed back from the thick pillows.
A pair of slippers I always left out but rarely wore waited by the bed.
A fluffy and chunky gray throw blanket was draped over the chair by the window.
It looked and felt the same. The room even smelled like I remembered. Like pineapple and mango.
But I wasn’t the same.
My gaze made its way to the closet. I forced my steps forward.
Opening the closet door, I switched on the light.
What I saw first were the wigs in various colors and lengths, the knee-high boots and spiky heels, and the skintight dresses.
They were all costumes designed to hide my identity while I hunted the fae responsible for killing my mother.
I didn’t need them anymore. I’d succeeded.
They were all dead now, and those wigs and dresses…
They’d become a part of who and what I’d been shaped into.
I ran my hand over the Lycra material of a red dress that I wouldn’t have dared to wear five years ago.
The outfits, the wigs, the shoes—all had aided me in finding the fae responsible for killing my mother, but they’d also done something else.
They’d given me the confidence I’d been sorely lacking.
But this stuff still wasn’t me. They were words written in blood and tears for a chapter that had come to an end.
Pivoting around, I hurried downstairs to the pantry.
Black garbage bags in hand, I went back to the closet and started cleaning house.
Everything went. The wigs. The shoes. The dresses—well, almost everything.
I couldn’t bear to part with the studded mid-calf boots or the silvery sequined dress.
Those boots were surprisingly comfortable, and the dress…
It was the outfit I’d been wearing when I killed Tobias—one of the fae I’d been looking for.
And it was the dress I had on the first time I came face-to-face with Caden in the club.
For that reason alone, I should toss it with the rest, but I hung it back up between the thick, oversized cardigan and the blazer I never wore.
Pulling open the drawers in the center dresser, I breathed a sigh of relief when I spotted the extra sets of iron daggers and cuffs.
I closed the drawer and then picked up my makeup case.
Setting it on the counter inside the closet, I flipped the switches and rooted around, pulling out the heavier makeup—the stuff I wouldn’t even wear for a fancy occasion.
Not that I attended many fancy things.
I dumped the makeup into an old grocery bag and walked out—
Caden stood in the doorway of the bedroom, arms loosely crossed over the plain gray tee shirt he wore as he stared at the garbage bags.
He lifted his chin, and the room seemed to tilt as our gazes connected. His hair was pulled back, and the beams of sunlight seemed to be attracted to all the striking, symmetrical angles and planes of his face.
Upon the unexpected sight, my heart lodged itself in my throat. Now, it was firmly back in my chest, pounding for reasons unrelated to shock.
Caden was…he was gorgeous, his beauty rugged and raw. As shallow as this sounded, I could stare at him all day, and there was a good chance he knew that. Warmth crept into my cheeks and flowed down my throat. It took a moment for me to find my ability to speak. “How did you get in here?”
One side of his lips quirked up. “You know I’m not a vampire, right? I don’t need permission to enter a home.”
My eyes narrowed. “I’m pretty sure the front door was locked.”
“It was.”
I lifted my brows.
“Tink let me in,” he answered finally, eyes twinkling.
I really needed to talk to Tink about letting Caden in. Not like this was the first time, but that damn brownie knew better.
He unfolded his arms, the act doing interesting things to the muscles under his shirt. “Doing some light spring cleaning?”
“Something like that.”
“What are you going to do with all that stuff?”
I glanced down at the overflowing bags. “I thought I’d give them to Goodwill or a women’s shelter.” My nose scrunched. “Although, they’d probably wonder if an escort had cleaned out their closet.”
“A high-priced escort,” Caden murmured, and my lips twitched at that. “I have to say I’m glad to see you throwing this stuff away.”
I almost said that I didn’t care what he felt, but doing so would lessen the significance of what getting rid of these items meant.
“Although…” He reached inside a bag and pulled out a knee-high boot that took an act of God to get off. “I will miss these.”
Storming forward, I snatched the boot from his hands and dropped it back into the bag. Caden grinned down at me as if greatly amused by my actions. My stomach did a little flip, and I was reminded of Tink’s question. Could I resist Caden?
“What made you do this?” He gestured at the bags with his chin.
I backed up, crossing my arms. Like always, it was almost impossible not to open up. I had no idea why it was like that with him. “They’re costumes—the clothing, the wigs, all of it. I don’t need them anymore.”
“No more late-night visits to clubs then?”
A picture of me in a skintight dress, several months pregnant, formed in my mind, and I snorted. “Not in the foreseeable future.”
“What about patrolling?”
That was a good question. “The Order never really had me patrolling, but I…I like being out there.” How long I would be able to do that safely was anyone’s guess. “I just won’t be looking for any fae in particular, I guess.”
His jaw tightened as if he weren’t all that happy to hear that I still planned to patrol, but he wisely didn’t voice his opinion.
In the ensuing silence, I looked at the bags. “Everything that’s in those bags isn’t me, you know? They really were like costumes, and I don’t need them anymore.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” he replied. “They represent a chapter of your life that’s now closed.”
I blinked in surprise as he nailed how I felt. He really did know me. Better than anyone else. Panic blossomed in the pit of my stomach, and my mouth dried. “Why are you here, Caden? I know last night might’ve confused things, but I’m sure I made myself clear.”
“Oh, you were clear, all right.”
“Then should I repeat my question?”
“If it makes you feel better? Sure. Go ahead.”
“It wouldn’t make me feel better.”
“Good. Because I don’t want you feeling bad.” He stepped forward, and I tensed. That reaction had nothing to do with my time with Aric. “I want you to feel good. I want you happy. I want you to feel safe and cherished. I want you to feel comforted and comfortable. I want you to feel loved.”
Oh God.
All those broken shards of my heart started to piece themselves back together. I needed them to stop. A repaired heart would only hurt worse.
Caden took another step forward, and I moved until the backs of my legs hit the bed. “Did you sleep well last night? I did. Best sleep I’ve had in years, sunshine.”
My heart jumped. Sunshine. He called me that because he said he’d seen me smiling once and it was like the sun finally rising. That was possibly the sweetest, kindest thing anyone had ever said to me.
“It’s time.”
I looked up. “For what?”
“For that talk I told you we needed to have but would be better if we waited until you had time to process everything you’d gone through. But I can see we don’t have the luxury of that time,” he said. “I know, Brighton.”
My breath caught. “Know what?”
Those golden eyes met and held mine. “I know.”