Chapter 62
I sat on the bed while Kalen called…well, I don’t know who he called. In situations like these, he normally would’ve called Tanner, and I doubted he’d call Faye when she was dealing with her cousin.
But he spoke to someone while I sat there, holding the iron cuff and staring at the spot where Tanner had been standing.
I was still angry, but I was also…I just couldn’t believe that Tanner had sent himself back to the Otherworld.
Whatever Caden or I would’ve done to him would’ve paled in comparison to what would happen to him in a realm ruled by the Winter Queen.
We would’ve killed him. End of story. But a fae stabbed by iron didn’t die.
It basically sent them home, and being sent to the Otherworld was a fate worse than death.
Not that he didn’t deserve it, but I…
I just couldn’t believe any of this.
“Brighton.”
Blinking, I realized that Kalen had been speaking to me. “I’m sorry?”
“It’s all right. I said…” He dragged a hand through his hair, trailing off as he stared at the same spot as I did. “I can’t believe this. I wouldn’t have believed any of this if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.”
“I thought that maybe he’d told Tatiana and perhaps her brother. So that they’d know what was happening and she could pursue Caden, you know?” I explained hoarsely, running my fingers over the cuff. “I had no idea.”
“I don’t know what to even say.” Kalen turned away from the spot. “I really don’t.”
“Neither do I.”
It was only a few minutes later that Caden filled the doorway.
I looked up, my heart seizing at the sight of him.
The urge to race over to him hit me hard.
I was starting to stand when I realized what I was doing and stopped myself.
Was he still mad at me? Well, obviously, he had to be.
One didn’t get over all that he learned in a matter of hours.
I wasn’t sure if he would want me to go to him, to touch him.
And God, that was another sting on an already raw, rapidly spreading wound.
Caden had halted, but then he was striding forward, coming to where I sat. I half expected him to stop there or to put space between us.
That’s not what he did.
He knelt, gently taking my face in his hands. The contact was a jolt to the system as his gaze searched mine. “Are you okay?”
I started to answer, but his touch threw me for a loop, and all my hesitation slipped away.
Dropping the cuff onto the bed, I all but launched myself at Caden.
If he were unprepared, he didn’t show it.
He caught me in his arms and straightened, holding me tightly.
He didn’t push me away. I buried my face in his chest, inhaling deeply.
That didn’t mean that everything was peachy and perfect between us, but I needed him—needed to feel him, to smell him, to be held by him—and he was here.
That meant everything.
“Brighton?” he murmured, smoothing a hand through my hair and down my back as I felt his head turn. “Is she okay?”
“Physically, yes,” came Kalen’s answer.
“I’m fine.” My voice was muffled and probably barely coherent, but I didn’t lift my head. “I’m just…it was Tanner, Caden. It was him.”
Tension strummed through every part of his body as he said to Kalen, “Tell me what you know.”
Kalen did exactly that, but he didn’t know everything. I did. Forcing myself to put it together, I lifted my head and reluctantly stepped back. I told Caden everything Tanner had told me, and he went from tense to downright rigid when I got to the part about Aric.
I was pacing by that point, one arm curled over my stomach. “He kept saying that he thought he was doing the right thing—”
“He wasn’t,” growled Caden.
“I know.” I stopped, meeting his gaze. “I was going to kill him. I trusted him. My mom trusted him. You trusted him. But I was going to kill him.” Tearing my gaze from Caden’s hard one, I started walking again.
“That’s when he grabbed the blade with a napkin and told me that Neal had left the city, but that he had to know that I was your weakness, and that Neal would’ve told others.
He then told me—” I cleared my throat. “He told me that I needed to do what he’d failed to do.
Protect the Court by never letting my guard down. And then he…”
“He sent himself back to the Otherworld,” Kalen picked up where I left off. “What will be done to him there will… It will make whatever we could do to him here look like nothing.”
A muscle worked along Caden’s jaw. “That knowledge doesn’t ease me. I want to watch the life seep out of his eyes.”
Kalen didn’t object to that.
Neither did I.
“Can you please sit?” Caden asked, and I stopped. “You should be resting, and nothing about any of this is restful.” He turned to Kalen. “Can you get Luce? I want Brighton checked.”
“Of course.” Kalen bowed and then turned to leave.
I sat because he was right. I felt okay, but none of this was exactly stress-free.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Caden asked.
“I feel all right. He didn’t try to hurt me.” I pressed my lips together. “At least not this time. Are you okay?”
Caden stared at me. “You don’t need to worry if I’m okay.”
“But I do,” I told him. “He said you were with Faye, handling Benji, and I know you trusted Tanner. Everybody trusted him.”
“I’m worried about you and the baby right now—”
“And I’m worried about you,” I cut in. “Those things aren’t mutually exclusive.”
His head tilted and, for a moment, I wondered if he was going to say anything. “I trusted Tanner as much as I trusted anyone. I never would have expected him to be behind this.”
“I still can’t believe it.” I picked up the cuff, turning it over in my hands. “I should be relieved that at least we know who was responsible, but I can’t feel that. I don’t understand how he thought this was the right thing.”
“Fear.”
I looked up at Caden.
“Fear is what made him think it was right.” He approached slowly, sitting beside me. “Some of the fae here have limited their contact with the outside world so much that the Winter fae and their Queen have become like…what do you call it? The thing that scares children?”
“Bogeymen?”
“Yes. That.” He turned his head to me. “It’s not that I don’t think they’re not a threat.
They are, but fear and panic are far more dangerous than any creature out there.
It’s the only reason I can think of that would’ve caused him to take this path.
His fear of the Court weakening was far greater than his fear of what I would do to him.
” His gaze dropped to the cuff. “Maybe some would say that I should make myself into something greater to fear, but my father didn’t rule that way. Neither will I.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” I stopped turning the cuff.
“Making people fear you only works for so long. We humans have a long, sordid history of doing that and failing, and…” I peeked up at him.
“And that’s not you. I mean, you’re badass and can be very scary at times, but you’re also kind. I never would have…”
“What?”
I lifted my gaze to his. “I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if you were the type to believe that fear is a tool to be used to rule people.” I turned my attention back to the cuff, quickly changing the subject. “I can’t imagine how people are going to react.”
“This is going to hit everyone hard. Tanner was well-respected. He was cared for. Loved. Trusted,” he said, exhaling roughly. “I could lie. I could swear Kalen to silence. But lies…they never work out as one intends, even when they’re told with the best of intentions.”
“No.” My shoulders sank. “They don’t. He…he said that he thought he was doing the right thing, just like we thought we were doing the right thing.”
“He’s wrong. What he did is nothing like our situation, Brighton. Not at all.”
“I know. It’s not the same, but I get the sentiment.
You thought it was best to give me time before you told me everything.
I thought it was best to push you away and keep the pregnancy a secret so everyone was safe.
Neither of us was right. It’s still not the same.
I know that.” I leaned over, placing the cuff on the end table.
“But I…I keep seeing his face. He knew what he’d done was wrong.
I think he even knew when he told Aric I was important to you, but he kept doing it anyway.
And I know a lot has happened. God. Things won’t stop happening, but I…
” I looked up at him as something occurred to me—something important and powerful.
“I don’t want to keep messing up and making the wrong choices.
I love you, Caden. I want this baby. I want us to be together.
I don’t know if I’ll make a good Queen. Honestly, I’ll probably suck at it, but I don’t care.
I want to be your Queen. I know you’re mad at me—”
“I’m not mad at you, Brighton.”
“Really? You sure you don’t want to rethink that answer?”
His eyes met mine once more. “I don’t need to think about it. I’m not mad. Even when I’m furious with something you’ve done, I’m never angry at you.”
That sounded like it would be good, if a bit confusing, but I had a feeling that whatever he was going to say next might be worse.
“I’m disappointed,” he said, and my shoulders drooped. I was right. That was worse. “I—”
Whatever he was about to say was cut off by Luce’s arrival. My blood pressure was a little high, which wasn’t exactly surprising. And then others arrived, one after another. Faye. Tink. Fabian. Ren and Ivy. Some fae I recognized but didn’t know their names. Others I wasn’t sure I’d seen before.