Chapter 4
Maggie’s sister-in-law, Erin Gibbs, lived in a modest ranch about a mile from the beach. There wasn’t much to recommend the
house with its older white siding, outdated kitchen, and modest furnishings. But the backyard was a summer-lover’s dream.
A large deck hugged the back of the home, complete with a built-in grill and a two-sided fireplace. Beyond it, a large kidney-shaped
in-ground pool dominated the yard. Around the periphery of the pool, Erin’s green thumb was on display. Palm trees, flowering
bushes, and rubber tree plants burgeoned under her care.
Maggie reclined on a chaise lounge, eyes peeled for Zoey and her five-year-old cousin, Mia, who sat on the steps of the pool’s
shallow end. Erin’s eleven-year-old son, Owen, was at a friend’s house, leaving the young cousins to themselves today.
In her teal two-piece, Erin joined Maggie by the pool and offered her a glass of iced tea. “Mine’s not as good as yours.”
“Well, I was just thinking how unfair it is that you can sprout the garden of Eden while I can’t grow a simple houseplant.”
“I guess we all have our gifts.” Erin sank onto the chair beside Maggie. Her chin-length flaxen hair glinted in the afternoon
sun. “I could never teach English to a roomful of bored fifteen-year-olds. You deserve a medal.”
“They’re not all bored, thankfully. And I couldn’t advise them on the traumas some of them face.” Erin had a big heart, a wise spirit—and a doctorate in psychology.
“There’s some of that, unfortunately, but there’s plenty of plain ol’ high school drama in there too.”
“Always. All that and summers off too.” Maggie loved her students, but she was glad for the reprieve from lesson plans, grading,
and school politics. She raised her glass. “To a well-deserved summer vacation.”
“Hear, hear.” Erin clinked her glass with Maggie’s.
Maggie stretched her lips into a smile she didn’t quite feel. She’d been all set to be brave this summer. To face the memories
she and Ethan had made here, where they’d fallen in love. To let go of him and start moving forward in a meaningful way.
But last night had changed all that.
Now she battled the ridiculous hope that Ethan wasn’t dead at all and had to somehow hide it from Erin. How was she supposed
to carry on as if her whole world hadn’t been turned upside down?
“You okay? You seem a little quiet today.”
Maggie slipped on her sunglasses. “Just tired. Didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“It must be hard being back here, huh?”
“It is.” She’d been to Seabrook many times since Ethan had died. But only day trips, avoiding certain places, not wanting
to dredge up memories. “But it was high time. It’ll be a great summer for Zoey. She’s been asking about her daddy more lately,
and I can share my memories with her. We all can. Give her little pieces of him to carry with her.”
As her daughter made friends at church and preschool, becoming exposed to other families, she’d also begun asking if she could get another daddy. But Maggie didn’t mention that. It was yet another sign that she needed to let go of the grief and focus on their future.
“Mommy, can I get in now?” Zoey called.
“Sure, honey.” At three feet, eight inches tall, her daughter could reach the shallow bottom now. She was tall for her age,
as tall as Mia, which was no surprise given Ethan’s height and Maggie’s own five-foot-seven frame.
Zoey moved into the water with the confidence of a fish and began swimming freestyle across the width of the pool.
“Wow, look at her go.”
“We’ve been swimming at the Y. She loves the water.”
“She’s a natural—but I guess that’s no surprise since she has your genes. Are you still swimming?”
“At least once a week.” Maggie had swum competitively in high school and college. When she swam it was just her and the water.
Sometimes it felt as if she was the water, when her body moved in harmony with the flow. Swimming was her escape, her refuge. She wasn’t sure she could’ve
maintained her sanity all these years without it.
“Do you ever regret not going further with it?”
Once upon a time the Olympics had been her dream. “Nah. I needed a few more inches of height to really get where I wanted
to go. Besides, I’d never regret settling down with Ethan.” Even more so because they’d had so few years together.
“It seems you might have a little prodigy on your hands.”
Zoey had just attempted a flip turn at the wall.
“We just added that to our practices. Good job, Chickadee!” Maggie called when Zoey came up for air. “Have you heard from
your mom and dad? Becky messaged me yesterday from Barcelona.”
“Dad sent me a picture of Mom in some bakery. She looked pretty happy.”
“It’s good to know they’re having a great time. They’ve waited so long for this trip.”
“I love the idea of them gallivanting all over Europe, Mom dragging Dad to all the tourist attractions, Dad complaining about
the price of entrance.”
Maggie chuckled. “Sounds about right. When’s their cruise?”
“Not for a couple weeks. Dad’s worried Mom won’t do well with the cramped quarters.” Erin gave her a wry look. “He even paid
extra for the balcony.”
“He must’ve been really concerned to dole out that kind of money.”
“Mom says his wallet squeals every time he opens it.”
Zoey wiped water from her eyes and joined Mia by the steps. The girl was adorable with long blonde locks and green eyes—Erin’s
mini-me, though she had Patrick’s dimpled smile.
Zoey tried to get her cousin to join her in the shallow end. But the girl wouldn’t leave the safety of the steps. That dimpled
smile was nowhere to be seen right now.
“Is Mia okay? She’s always liked the water.”
“Late last summer a wave got her at the beach. She took in some water and it scared her pretty good. I was hoping by the time
we opened the pool in the spring she’d have forgotten. She was just learning to swim.”
Mia watched from her post as Zoey tried a handstand several feet away.
“She just needs to build her confidence in the water. I can work with her this summer if you’d like.”
“Really? You wouldn’t mind?”
“You kidding me? I’d love to help her. It’ll give me a chance to get in the water.”
“You’re welcome to use the pool anytime—you know that. But it would be great if you could help Mia. I haven’t been able to
get her off that step.”
“Leave it to me. We’ll have her swimming by summer’s end. You’ll see.”
Maggie’s phone vibrated with a text. Her mother. How’s your trip going, honey? I haven’t heard from you since you left.
The words caused a prick of guilt—Maggie had been distracted with settling in. And ever since she’d seen Ethan’s look-alike,
she’d been consumed with thoughts of him.
Another text appeared. And something terrible has happened.
As her mom had no doubt intended, the words set off a cascade of concerns and questions. Was it her heart? Did something happen
at work? Had the smarmy guy she’d recently started dating hurt her in some way?
“It’s my mom.” Maggie checked on the girls, then tapped out a quick reply. Sorry I haven’t checked in. Everything’s going well here. What happened? Are you okay? She sent the text, electing not to mention where she was—her mom was jealous of the Reynolds family, and Maggie didn’t feel
like dealing with a passive-aggressive response.
“How’s she doing?” Erin asked.
“Something’s wrong but she didn’t say what.” Maggie and Ethan had moved to Fayetteville after her mom’s heart attack. She
didn’t have any other family. Maggie’s dad had left them years ago—she barely remembered him.
“Try not to let it bother you. You know how she likes to bait you.”
“You’re right.” Maggie had been attempting to navigate her mother’s narcissism for as long as she could remember. Developing her life around it was a real challenge because her mom viewed Maggie as an extension of herself. She’d shown interest in her granddaughter only to the extent that she usurped Maggie’s attention. Yet she demanded that Zoey comply with and respect her.
Maggie tried to shield her daughter from her mother as much as possible, but it was hard when they lived in the same town.
And truthfully, since Ethan had died, Maggie had let her boundaries slip where her mother was concerned. She hadn’t had the
emotional reserves to keep her in her place.
She confided in Erin more than anyone about her mom. Not only because she was her best friend, but because she was great with
advice. Maggie set down her phone and attempted to put her anxious thoughts aside. “So how did last night turn out? You seem
to have survived what looked like the social event of the season.”
“It was fine, really. It was for a good cause at least.” Erin caught her up on the event, putting a humorous spin on the whole
thing until Maggie was laughing so hard that she nearly wet her pants.
By the time the girls were ready to go inside, Maggie was thoroughly glad for the reprieve from her heavy thoughts. As she
slipped through the sliding glass door, she checked her phone and saw that her mother hadn’t responded.
They got into dry clothes and had a late lunch. Afterward, the girls watched Moana while Erin and Maggie chatted at the kitchen table. When Erin got up to refill their drinks, Maggie sent another text. Mom? Is everything okay?
She sent another text when the movie ended, and at four thirty, when they headed home, she still hadn’t heard back. Zoey fell asleep on the way home and Maggie carried her inside and laid her on her bed. The sun had worn her daughter out and a nap was probably best since they might be out late at the carnival again.
Maggie headed to the living room where she grabbed her phone and placed a call to her mom. She tried not to worry that something
had happened, but she couldn’t seem to help it. It was her mom—the only one she’d ever have. And with Maggie now two hours
away, Mom really didn’t have a support system of any kind. The new boyfriend hardly counted.
The call rang through to voice mail. No surprise. A moment later the beep sounded.
“Hi, Mom. Just making sure you’re all right. Give me a call, okay?” She tapped the End button and wished she could quell the
useless anxiety fraying her nerves. Maggie had hoped a little distance would provide a reprieve from the emotional exhaustion
that came from her relationship with her mom. But she should’ve known her mother would never let that happen.