Chapter 23
Josh had changed outfits three times. Now, on his way to the restaurant where he was meeting Maggie, he wished he’d stopped
at number two. The button-down and khakis were too dressy for the casual restaurant. Too dressy for him . She’d probably show up in a pair of shorts and a tee and he’d feel really dumb.
Too late now. He muttered a quick, desperate prayer that tonight would go his way. This had been so long in coming. How would
Maggie react to the news that he wanted more from their relationship? With disbelief? Incredulity? Disgust?
Or would she be open to the idea?
The uncertainty made his palms sweat as he signaled to turn into the restaurant’s lot. He’d selected a new place—one that
held no old memories for either of them. A new place for a fresh start.
He hoped.
It had been three days since he’d requested this dinner and they’d exchanged only the briefest of texts since then. Did she
suspect what was coming? Had she purposely distanced herself from him? He would know soon enough.
He’d arrived a few minutes early to make sure they got the private booth he’d requested and try to compose himself. But when the host ess led him to a booth in the far corner of the restaurant, Maggie was already seated there.
She offered a smile that seemed strained. “Hey.”
His heart took a dive as he slid into the opposite side of the booth. “Hey yourself. Been here long?”
“Just arrived. I thought it might take Zoey a minute to acclimate to Sharon, but she practically dragged the woman off to
play.”
“Sharon—Mom and Dad’s next-door neighbor?”
“Yeah.” Maggie glanced down. “I wasn’t sure how to, uh, explain to Erin...”
That they were having dinner alone. He should’ve considered that. “Right.”
She glanced up at him, eyes full of questions and uncertainty.
But he wasn’t ready to plunge into the conversation. If it ended badly, he didn’t want either of them suffering through an
awkward hour-long meal. Better to save it for later.
Like a gift from heaven a male server appeared tableside. “What can I get you two to drink?”
They ordered their drinks and then, when the server left, began perusing the extensive menu. They made small talk about the
offerings, and a few minutes later when the server returned, he took their order. Maggie went for the fried flounder and Josh
ordered barbecue.
But the very thought of food made his stomach churn. What happened in the next thirty minutes would determine the entire course
of his future. But this uncertainty had to come to an end. He couldn’t continue to live this way. She’d had such a hold on
him for so long—and she didn’t even realize it.
“So... how’s it working out with Will so far? Learned anything helpful?”
He expelled his breath, glad to be on familiar footing. “He’s doing great at the job. I haven’t learned anything new about his homelife, though. I think he and Addison are infatuated with each other.”
Maggie gave a wistful grin. “Ah, young love.”
“They stare at each other when they think the other one’s not looking. Addison blushes when they’re talking and Will gets
all flustered. It’s kind of hilarious. I just hope it doesn’t end with someone quitting.”
“Is she a nice girl?”
“She is. She comes from an affluent family and hasn’t been in the area long, but she seems to have her head on straight. She’s
reliable and organized. I’d take her over Penny any day.” Penny had filled the job before Addison. “And you? Have you had
time to do any more research?”
“I’ve done quite a bit but I haven’t learned much. I can’t find a connection between Robyn and your dad. If they worked together
at some point, I haven’t been able to figure out when or where.”
Disappointment warred with relief. Even though Josh wanted answers, and even though it seemed likely his dad had done this,
he didn’t want to believe it. “I thought for sure we’d find something.”
“Even if they didn’t work together, they must’ve run in the same circles. It’s possible they met at a conference or fundraiser
or something.”
“True.”
They began discussing the many ways Brad might’ve met Robyn. As they chatted they eased into their comfortable patterns.
By the time the food arrived they were on familiar footing. Maggie raved over the flounder and hush puppies, but as the clock
ticked away, Josh’s mind returned to the matter at hand. It was all he could do to finish the pork. By the time the server
collected their plates, the heavy meal sat like a cement block in his stomach.
Time to get down to business. What he said could give rise to an even closer relationship. Or it could drive a permanent wedge between them. If Maggie didn’t feel the same way, their easy relationship might never be the same.
She was staring at him in the muted light, no doubt wondering why he’d invited her here. Her eyes held questions.
And he had the answers.
He drained the last of his drink, mustering courage. Then he took a deep breath and met her gaze. Now or never. “You’re probably
wondering why I wanted to speak with you alone. The thing is, Mags, I’ve been wondering about something lately.” Like for
about the last twenty years. He cleared his throat. “I’ve been wondering if...” He got caught in the pull of her pretty
brown eyes and forgot the phrasing he’d planned to use.
She shifted in her seat. “Yes...?”
Man up, buddy. Way past time to get this out on the table.
“I was wondering if you’d be open to the idea of a... a shift in our relationship.”
***
The whole room seemed to shrink down to just Maggie and Josh. Time seemed to stand still as his words replayed in her mind.
The reason for this meeting was just as she’d suspected. Just as she’d hoped.
Just as she’d feared.
And despite all the time she’d given to this possibility over the past few days, her emotions on the subject were still a
tangled skein of yarn. “A—a shift?”
He glanced down to where his fingers mangled a cloth napkin. He set it aside and leaned onto his elbows as one side of his mouth lifted. “I think you know what I mean, Mags.”
She swallowed hard. “Right.”
“We already know each other very well.”
It was true. She’d always felt so comfortable around Josh. It was so easy with him.
“And you can’t deny we’re compatible. We share the same values, the same religious and political views.”
“It takes more than compatibility to make a relationship.”
He slowly lifted a brow. “You’re absolutely right.”
She was referring to chemistry, of course, and he was practically daring her to refute the sparks between them. She couldn’t.
Especially now as the low rumble of his voice and intensity of his gaze lit a fire inside where a pile of cold ashes had lain
for years. Since the night he’d kissed her. Since that amazing, sensual kiss she’d never been able to forget.
But she wasn’t about to own up to it. The thought of changing everything between them might kindle a fire inside, but it also
shook her to the core. Josh and Erin were her best friends. Brad and Becky were the parents she’d never had. If a romantic
relationship with Josh ended badly, she risked losing her family. She had to quash this as delicately as she could.
“Don’t you think—? You’re my husband’s brother, Josh.”
“Late husband.”
“What would Ethan have thought of this?” Before he could respond she rushed ahead. “People might find it a little odd. And
what about your parents? Don’t you think they might be upset by the very notion of—”
He set his hand on hers and waited until he had her full attention. “Hold up. Slow down. One thing at a time. How about if we focus on us before we bring everyone else into it?”
The solid weight of his hand distracted her from the words coming out his mouth. It took considerable restraint to keep from
weaving her fingers through his.
No. Stop thinking like that. You could end up losing virtually everyone who matters to you. This can’t happen.
But what if it did? What if they followed this road and it didn’t end badly? What if Josh was the answer to her heart’s every
question? A wave of longing hit her so hard, she struggled to draw a breath.
“Sometimes you look at me like that and I think maybe I’m not crazy. Maggie... remember that kiss a couple years ago?”
Remember? She’d only memorized every glance that had led up to it. Every touch they’d shared. Every sigh they’d emitted. Even
now her lips tingled at the thought of it. She glanced at his mouth, then darted her attention back to his eyes.
“I didn’t kiss you because I was sad and lonely. I kissed you because I wanted you. No one else, Maggie. Just you.”
Her heart gave a slow roll as she fell into his smoldering gaze, where she could’ve happily drowned.
“I let you believe that because you weren’t ready for the truth. I’d been feeling differently toward you for—for a while.
I’ve thought about that kiss a million times. Best kiss of my life. Am I the only one who felt that way?”
When he looked at her like that, when he made her remember that night, she forgot all the reasons she’d been fighting this.
And she had been fighting it. She hadn’t allowed herself to admit it, but it was true. Sometimes their hugs extended a fraction too long. Sometimes their gazes connected in a meaningful way. For months she’d been engaged in a quiet battle to keep Josh in the friend zone.
“But we’re—we’re good friends, Josh.” It was a last, half-hearted effort to keep things as they were. Safe. Unthreatening.
He squeezed her hand. “But is that all we can ever be, Maggie?”
The naked yearning in his eyes made her heart ache. How long had he felt this way? How long had he been pretending to be just
her friend? Her brother?
And she was no better. Maybe that kiss had been the truest thing that had ever happened between them. Because if she was gut-level
honest—she had not been thinking of her late husband that night.
“Maggie? Have I scared you to death?”
A laugh trembled out. “Yes.”
He leaned forward, his eyes like a laser on her. “Tell me what you’re afraid of. Let’s talk this through.”
“I don’t want to lose you,” she blurted.
He offered a compassionate smile. “You will never lose me.”
“You can’t know that. Relationships go sour all the time. Things happen and feelings get hurt and people get angry. How often
do breakups end in friendship? Almost never.”
“We haven’t even had a first date and you already have us breaking up.”
“I’m serious, Josh. Take you and Samantha. You guys were in love and now she can hardly stand the sight of you.”
Something undecipherable flashed in his eyes. He shook his head. “That would never happen between us. We have a long history,
you and me. We’ve already been through a lot together, and I care way too much about you not to want you in my life.”
“You say that now.”
“I promise you—Maggie, look at me—I promise you I will always be part of your life—yours and Zoey’s—no matter what happens.” His countenance fell and his eyes softened as pain flickered there. “The way I feel about you won’t change—even if you say no tonight.”
It might just break his heart if she did, though. It was suddenly as clear as air. And oh, she didn’t want to hurt him. She
squeezed her eyes closed. She didn’t want to hurt herself either, and that seemed destined to happen if things didn’t work
out. If they broke up. If he got bored with her.
Josh didn’t exactly have a great track record. With the exception of Samantha, his average relationship had lasted approximately
three seconds. He’d had so many women Maggie couldn’t begin to remember their names. He’d told her once, after the breakup
of yet another brief relationship, that he’d gotten bored with her.
Just the thought that he might find her lacking opened a hollow spot inside. Made her feel achy and vulnerable in a way that
triggered sheer terror.
“You’re thinking awfully hard over there. Anything you wanna share?”
“Just... walking through this.” She couldn’t tell him the truth. He’d just deny that she could ever bore him. He’d say
they knew each other well already and he didn’t find her boring in the least—and he’d have a good point. Still, there was
that terror.
“If I ask you a question, will you tell me the truth?”
Her pulse thrummed in her temples as their gazes mingled. “Of course.”
He glanced down at the table, then back up at her. “Do you think you could—” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Could you ever feel
more for me than friendship?”
She already did. That kiss had proven it to her, even if she had denied it. Blocked it. Buried it. Because there was so much
to lose here.
“Stop, Maggie. Stop weighing the pros and cons and just tell me the God’s honest truth.”
“Yes.” The word left her tongue before she could stop it. She bit her lip.
His eyes lit and that quirky grin followed.
Oh yes, she could fall in love with that face. With this man. She was afraid she was already halfway there.
He took her other hand in his. “Then go out with me, Maggie. Let’s see where this leads. We don’t have to make an announcement
or plan out the future. Just a date. Don’t look now, but we’re practically on one at this very moment.”
Oh, man. She was really going to do this. Her nerves rattled until her hands trembled. “One step at a time?”
“We can go slow. Handle it however you want.” His eyes pierced hers.
She felt it down to the soles of her feet. Tension crackled between them. She was losing that battle. And wasn’t altogether
torn up about it.
“I just want a chance with you, Maggie. Will you give me a chance?”
She would’ve given him the world right now, the way he was gazing at her, saying these things. All he wanted was a chance.
And in her heart of hearts, she wanted that too. The problems that might possibly happen somewhere down the road faded at
the longing in his eyes. At the yearning in her heart. There’d been something more between them for a long time. She couldn’t
quell it anymore. Not after he’d put his feelings out there so bravely, so sweetly.
“Okay,” she said.
His hands tightened on hers as if by reflex. “Okay?”
At the hope on his face, joy bubbled up from deep within, from a well she hadn’t known existed. Laughter followed. “Okay, Josh. Let’s see where this goes.”
“All right.” His eyes warmed as he lifted her hand to his lips and placed a kiss in the center of her palm. “You won’t regret
this, Maggie. I promise.”
As they lingered at the table, chatting quietly, Maggie hoped the magic spell that seemed to envelop them would never go away.