Chapter 40
Josh sipped coffee as he stared into his backyard, which seemed much the same as it did every morning. The sun had risen a
couple hours ago, casting his yard in shade. Last night’s rain had darkened the flower beds’ soil and dampened the cushions
he’d forgotten to bring inside. Weeds seemed to have sprung up overnight. Twigs littered his lawn.
The storm had passed but evidence of its visit remained.
Josh drained his coffee, then glanced at the time. He had to leave in twenty minutes for his first tour. He set the empty
mug in the sink, grabbed a fresh mug, and filled it, adding a generous splash of cream. Then he headed down the hall and turned
into his bedroom.
Maggie slept on her back in the center of the bed, the sheet pulled to her chin. The sun filtered through the curtains, giving
her skin a translucent glow. Her lashes were spiky from crying, the remnants of makeup smudged like shadows beneath her eyes.
He hated to wake her. As long as she slept she was blissfully unaware of last night’s revelation. It had been late when she’d
fallen asleep on the sofa, exhausted. But his family would know something was up if she didn’t return home to her daughter
soon.
He sank onto the bed and caressed the soft skin of her inner wrist. “Maggie? It’s morning, sweetheart.”
She stirred. Her eyelids fluttered, then opened. Her gaze fixed on him, flickering with confusion. Then reality settled over her features, the hazy memory of last night as palpable as a spring fog.
“I slept here?” she croaked.
“It’s okay. I texted Mom last night and told her about your migraine.”
Her hand found her forehead.
He’d given her ibuprofen when they’d gotten home. “Feeling any better?”
“Um, yeah.” She was speaking only of the headache, of course. The rest of her pain was less treatable and no doubt more debilitating.
She sat up in bed. “Time is it?”
“After nine.” He handed her the coffee.
“Thank you.” She sipped the brew. “I can’t believe I slept so late. You have to leave soon, don’t you?”
“I have about twenty minutes. Unless you want me to go with you over to Mom and Dad’s. I can call Big D and—”
“No, don’t do that. My mind is clearer this morning. I can handle it. Besides, your parents would wonder why you weren’t working.”
That was true.
“I don’t know how to handle all this. I still can’t believe it.”
“You don’t have to do anything. Just take one minute at a time. One hour at a time. Give yourself a chance to breathe.”
Sounded familiar. After Ethan’s death she’d spent months just getting from one moment to the next. They all had. She sent
him a wry look. “We’re back to that, huh?”
“And we’ll get through this together. Just like last time.”
***
The minute Maggie walked through the door, Zoey ran over and embraced her. “You weren’t here when I woke up this morning,
Mommy.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. But I’m here now and we’ll have a fun day with Mamaw and Papaw.”
“Papaw made Mickey Mouse pancakes, but they were burnt.”
“Only on the bottom,” Brad called from the living room.
Zoey scurried to where he waited on the floor with a copy of How to Catch a Mermaid and squirmed onto his lap. “It’s okay, Papaw. Sometimes mistakes happen.”
Becky stepped from the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel. Her brow furrowed as she homed in on Maggie’s face. “Feeling
better, honey?”
“Much better, thank you. Last night was pretty rough.” That was putting it mildly.
“Josh was worried about you. Must’ve been the storm front. Barometric pressure and all that.”
“A good night’s sleep helped. Thank you for taking care of Zoey.”
She smiled. “Oh, it’s a pleasure, believe me. I hate that you have to leave tomorrow. It seems like we just got home from
Europe.”
To Maggie yesterday seemed like a year ago. “Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit soon.”
All day Maggie felt as if she were walking around inside someone else’s body. The sort of sensation you experienced when you
stayed up all night. But lack of sleep was not her issue.
Her problem was that she was considering a new reality, and no one around her was aware of it—or could be made aware of it. It was as if her body had somehow split into two halves. One was aware of the new possible reality—but this side she pushed into the background. The other half sleepwalked through the day, saying and doing all the normal things.
They took Zoey to the park where she scuttled between the equipment. Maggie pushed her on the swing and posed for Brad and
Becky’s photos. They went to Burgers on the Beach for lunch. Maggie made conversation, laughed in all the right places, made
sure her daughter went to the potty and was buckled into her car seat. They went shopping for new sandals for Zoey, who was
outgrowing her favorite pair. Two stores later Zoey emerged, skipping between Brad and Becky, in a pair she declared her new
favorites.
Then there were errands: the post office, the pharmacy, and a trip to the gas station. Back home they made supper, then sat
on the deck while Zoey played with her Magna-Tiles. And then it was time to put her daughter to bed.
Josh had checked on her a few times via text. She was glad he hadn’t called. She couldn’t deal with the emotions with her
in-laws so close by. He offered to come over tonight, but it was Big D’s birthday and Josh had promised to take him out to
celebrate weeks ago.
Still, as she tucked Zoey into bed and listened as she “read” books aloud, Maggie allowed yesterday’s bombshell to surface.
She envisioned telling Brad and Becky what Ethan might have done all those years ago. They’d be as adamant as she, insisting
he couldn’t have been unfaithful to her. Not their golden child.
But they hadn’t yet seen Will’s incredible likeness to Ethan. Once they did, they’d waver too. And if it was true— please, God, don’t let it be true —they’d have the unexpected joy of another grandchild from their beloved son. That would sweeten the bitter pill.
Maggie would have no such comfort. Even the prospect of a brother for Zoey wouldn’t soothe her spirits. Will would be a constant reminder that nothing was as Maggie had once thought. Would she ever get over that feeling?
She had no idea how many books Zoey read, but when she reached the end of The Cat in the Hat , Maggie placed it on the bedside table. “All right. It’s time to go to sleep, sweetheart.”
“Just one more, Mommy?”
Always just one more . “Pick one out for Mamaw to read in the morning. You know how she loves to read to you.”
“ Giraffes Can’t Dance ! That’s her favorite.”
“Good choice.” Maggie grabbed it from the pile. She bent down and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Sleep tight.”
“Do we have to go home tomorrow?”
“I’m afraid so, sweetie. I know you’ll miss Mamaw and Papaw—”
“And Uncle Josh and Mia and Owen and Aunt Erin and Uncle Patrick.”
“I know. But we’ll be back to visit soon, and when we get home you’ll get to play with Pokey. And soon you’ll start preschool
again and get to play with your friends.”
“I like school.”
Her daughter was growing up so fast. Soon she would be reading words for real. “That’s because you’re so smart.” Maggie pressed
another kiss to her forehead. “Good night, Chickadee.”
“Night, Mommy.”
Maggie turned off the light, then slipped through the door and pulled it almost closed. Once in the hallway she found her
thoughts shifting gears.
Normally she would join Brad and Becky in the living room and watch a comedy. They would laugh at the funny parts and Brad’s commentary would make them laugh even harder. Becky would tell him to shush when he talked over the dialogue and Maggie’s lips would twitch at their comical bickering.
But not tonight.
Their routine would be disrupted. Because even though she’d put the situation from her thoughts, her unconscious mind had
been chewing on it all day. And as she walked down the hall toward the living room, she knew what she had to do.