Chapter 42
“I went to see Robyn.”
Josh had barely registered that Maggie was on his doorstep before she spilled the words. He pulled her inside. “What did she
say? Was Will home?”
“I think so. She didn’t say much. Couldn’t get me out of there fast enough.”
“So you didn’t learn anything?”
Maggie let out a humorless laugh. “She denied knowing Ethan, but she was obviously lying. She seemed... guilty.” Her lower
lip wobbled.
“Oh, honey.” He pulled Maggie into an embrace. She was trembling, stiff in his arms. He held her tight as she wept. He closed
his eyes, wished he could spare her this pain. He could hardly believe Ethan could’ve done this to her.
God, hasn’t she suffered enough?
“I didn’t want it to be true. Didn’t think it could possibly be true. But her behavior was so suspicious. As soon as I said
I was there about her son, she rushed out onto the porch and closed the door behind her like she didn’t want whoever was inside
to hear what I had to say. Once she found out what I wanted, she wouldn’t answer anything else and insisted I leave. The whole
encounter took less than a minute.”
He rubbed her back, murmuring words of comfort until her tears stopped. Then he eased away, taking in her pain-ravaged face and feeling it like a kick in the gut. “Can you take me through it from start to finish?”
Maggie did as he asked while he listened intently.
“She was definitely evading the truth,” he said when she finished. He wished he’d known Maggie was going over there so he
could’ve gone with her. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but he would’ve been there to support her. “I’m so sorry
this is happening.”
“Part of me still can’t believe he’d do this, Josh. But the evidence is sure stacking up.”
He used his thumbs to brush away the remnants of tears. “What do you want to do now? How can I help?”
“I just want to go home and forget about all this.”
He could only imagine. But life wasn’t that simple. And there was an innocent young man involved.
She peered up at him with tear-filled eyes. “Do you think Will should be told?”
“This might be an unwelcome revelation since Ethan is—”
“Gone.” Maggie stepped from his embrace. “I think I should step back from this point on. I’ll leave the rest to you. That’s
not really my place.”
She sounded numb, disconnected. Not at all herself—and who could blame her? But her demeanor sent a tremor of unease through
him. “Let’s sit and talk awhile. I have some leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry.”
She glanced around the room, seeming a little lost. “Thanks... but I think I’ll just head back to the house. Go to bed
early. It’s been a long day.”
“Sure, honey.” As they headed toward the door, he took her hand. It was cold and lifeless. She’d had a shock. He wished he could take her in his arms and make the rest of the world disappear for a few hours. If only he had such magical powers.
When she paused at the door, he took her chin and searched her eyes. “Hey. I’m worried about you.”
She offered a wan smile. “I’ll be fine. I just have a lot to process. It’ll be easier to do that back home where I can be
alone.”
Having his parents underfoot and unaware of the weight she carried left her no space to work through this. But the last thing
he wanted was to be so far from Maggie right now. She needed support more than ever—and she sure wouldn’t get it from her
mother.
He gave her chin a soft pinch. “I’ll be over in the morning to help you load up.”
“Okay.”
“And if you need to talk, just call me. Anytime, day or night.”
Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Thanks, Josh.”
“We’re gonna get through this.” He brushed her lips and found them as cold as her hand. “Love you, honey.”
“Love you too.” And then she was leaving.
Moments later he stared after her as she pulled from his drive, and that sense of unease traveled through him in waves of
energy like an impending earthquake.
***
That night Maggie tossed and turned, replaying the scene with Robyn a hundred times, hoping for a different read. Trying to
find something she might’ve missed. But she was convinced Robyn had been lying.
Could Ethan really have done this? Abandoned her, not once but twice now? It triggered her deepest fear. Her most painful wound—that of her father’s abandonment. She couldn’t believe she was dealing with this all over again. It was the gift that kept on giving.
She reexamined her courtship with Ethan, their marriage, one memory at a time. And then came this thought: If Ethan had cheated
on her once, he could’ve cheated again. He could’ve cheated many times. After all, if he’d gotten away with it the first time...
He hadn’t seemed guilty or suspicious, but maybe her radar was broken. Maybe she couldn’t trust her own feelings, her own
judgment—and where did that leave her?
Tears flowed in the dark. As the hours inched by, she craved the blissful escape of sleep, but it was as elusive as a rolling
wave.
In the middle of the night another thought barged in like an unwelcome guest. If Ethan could cheat on her—Ethan, whom she’d
believed was loyal and trustworthy and honest—couldn’t anyone?
Couldn’t Josh?
She’d fallen for him so quickly and completely. She was in love with him, there was no denying it. But his past relationships
were as brief as a sneeze. He had lost interest, gotten bored, met someone new. Someone shinier. Even his marriage to Samantha
hadn’t lasted that long, and it had ended in ruins.
She thought of all the women, old flames, however short-lived, that they’d run into this summer. If all those women—most of
whom Maggie considered beautiful and interesting—couldn’t hold his attention, why would Maggie think she could?
“You’re so boring, Maggie. Even your friends think so.”
“Why don’t you do something with your hair? It’s so frizzy.”
“Get your head out of that book and do something fun. What are you, eighty?”
“You’ll never keep a man’s interest like that.”
She tried to shut down the voice but it kept coming, filling her with insecurity.
If Ethan cheated on you, how long will it take Josh to do the same? He’s the fickle one, after all.
She turned over for the dozenth time. Feeling suffocated, she flung off the covers. How could she go back home and trust that
Josh would be faithful to her? How could she believe he wouldn’t tire of her the way he had all the other women?
Sure, he loved her now. He’d loved Samantha, too, and now she was his bitter ex. Maggie didn’t want to be Josh’s bitter ex.
He’d been her rock for so long. And how would an acrimonious breakup affect her relationship with the rest of the family?
The family she’d come to depend on as her own?
Much later when she finally fell asleep, she dreamed of Ethan’s first year at college. Only in the dream she was there. She
walked across a darkened parking lot toward a lone car. She peered through the rain-dappled windshield. Ethan and Robyn were
tangled together in the back seat.
Maggie jerked awake. Her eyes burned. Her throat thickened. Back then she’d blamed her mother’s mental abuse for her insecurity.
She reassured herself that Ethan wasn’t cheating. That it was just her imagination.
He’d tried to convince her of the same thing!
How could he have been so cruel as to gaslight her? It wasn’t at all like the Ethan she knew and loved. Thought she’d known and loved. She would have to reexamine their past in light of this awful possibility. She dreaded the thought
of traipsing through the ashes of her marriage once again.
Maggie slept only a few hours. And when her alarm blared she silenced it with a jab. As the memory of the dream surfaced, heat simmered through her. It built inside until it produced a full boil. She gripped her pillow in her fist, squeezing. Gritted her teeth.
Hello, anger stage.
That had been quick. Shortly after Zoey’s birth she’d flown into a rage. Run outside and kicked the garage door until it was
pockmarked with dents. Another time, frustrated with a fitted sheet, she’d screamed into a pillow until her throat felt raw.
Maggie slowed her breaths. Released her fist, her jaw. She had a long day ahead. She and Zoey were going home—and until then
she had to pretend everything was fine. She dragged herself out of bed.
Later that morning Maggie wished she had a pillow handy as she shoved a suitcase into her trunk, making room for the box of
toys Josh carried down the steps. They were nearly finished loading her things.
Brad and Becky had taken Zoey for one last walk on the beach. She’d taken her pail to collect seashells. It was all too convenient.
Because last night Maggie had come to a difficult decision and she was running out of time.
Josh set the box in the trunk. “Last one.”
Maggie pulled out a few of Zoey’s favorites to keep her occupied on the drive, then he closed the trunk and shelved his hands
on his slim hips, peering at her. His gaze cut into her like a laser.
“What?”
He tilted his head, regarding her quietly. “Can I do anything to help?”
The sweetness of his offer brought the sting of guilt. She didn’t want to hurt Josh. It was the last thing she wanted. “Sorry.
I’m a little on edge this morning.”
He pulled her into his arms. “It’s okay. I understand. You’re dealing with a lot.” He wrapped her up tightly and pressed a kiss to her temple.
In a few minutes Josh would probably be just as upset. But she’d worked it all around in the night and she had to do this.
With his track record, a breakup was inevitable, and she’d rather end things now before her feelings grew any stronger. Before
he broke her heart. If he cheated on her, she didn’t know if she could come back from that. But if they parted ways now, maybe
they could remain friends.
She told herself to step back. But she needed just a moment more in his arms. She needed to soak in the sense of safety and
acceptance he’d always given so freely. Needed to memorize the feel of his strong arms around her. The familiar scent of his
cologne. The wide slope of his shoulders. She memorized it all. Every little detail so she could reflect on it later, close
her eyes and remember what being loved by Josh had felt like.
She swallowed past the tightness in her throat and pulled away. “We need to talk, Josh.”