Chapter Five
The Collateral Damage
Wilder
Cash stands in front of us, his narrowing eyes daring me to punch him.
I don't even recognize my best friend anymore. The guy who offered Mom and me a safe place to stay when Dad left. The guy who defended our friendship every time someone commented on it. Every time Fanny turned her nose up at me. Every time his rich country club friends made fun of me.
He defended me.
Cash has always used his words to deal a blow. Me? I've always thrown around punches.
We're nothing alike, but that's why we're such good friends. He's rigid and uptight. I'm laid-back. We balance each other out.
We used to, anyway.
You've had your house to yourself all year and you've been... you've been...
Cock blocking you. How's it feel, bestie?
I want to slam his spoiled, giant ass head against the counter. But there's something about the way he says it that gives me pause.
Bestie?
That's not a term in his vernacular. If it was, he'd have said it at least once in the past. He's never said it. Not ever.
I know Cash. I've known him for the past fifteen years. We've shared everything.
Even Ingrid.
There's only one reason why Cash is still sleeping on a cot in my bedroom instead of a king-sized bed in a mansion all by himself. He didn’t bring anything but a few clothes with him.
He's lonely. Whether he admits it or not.
And whatever scraps of attention and friendship I give him are enough to keep him at my house.
He's lost everything.
His mother’s awaiting trial.
His father moved on.
And Ingrid chose me.
I'm it. I'm all he has left.
That's why he stays.
Ingrid bristles beside me, her shoulders tense and her smirk teetering on the edge of something close to loathing. I need to defuse the situation. I need to shut this down before Ingrid explodes.
“Not surprised,” Ingrid scoffs. “You share DNA with a shameful convict and a serial cheater.”
“What are you talking about?” Cash's eyes dart from Ingrid's enraged face to mine.
“Uh...” she trails off as she looks to me.
When Ingrid gets worked up, she speaks without thinking. It's one of the reasons I used to love riling her up. She would focus all her attention on me, and Cash would fade into the background.
It's also one of the reasons why I need to keep Cash and Ingrid at a distance. One wrong word and everything gets worse.
I take a breath and snake an arm around my raging girlfriend. “We should go.”
Ingrid glances up at me, her mind racing. I can see every thought as it flashes in her eyes.
I almost told him.
“That's a good idea,” Cash says, raising an eyebrow at me, clearly reading Ingrid as well as I can.
“We'll talk later?” I say to him.
He nods. “Yeah.”
I pay for the doorknob and keep an arm around Ingrid as we walk out to the car. She hasn't said anything, but I know the words are going to come eventually.
“I almost said...” she begins as I drive her car down Main Street.
“But you didn't,” I reassure her.
“He would have been heartbroken.”
“And he would have gotten through it just like he'll inevitably have to,” I tell her.
She groans. “Why am I like this?”
“Why are you like what?” I ask.
Ingrid reaches for my hand and slips her fingers into mine. “I thought being friends with Cash would be hard, but I didn't expect him to make it this difficult.”
“I'm not excusing his shitty behavior, but he's an Allred. Untangling that weird, family bond is bound to come out in unhealthy ways. He shouldn't take it out on you, though. He should take it out on the people who fucked him over to begin with. Archibald and Fanny.”
“Yeah, well, they're MIA most of the time, so what do we do?” She lets out a shaky breath. “I can't keep doing this with him. I'm tired.”
“I don't know,” I say to her.
We need a distraction. Something to get our minds off all the shit going on around us.
I think I know exactly what will distract her.
When I drive past her house, she twists in her seat. “You missed—”
“I know where I'm going,” I reassure her.
“What do you have planned?” She excitedly perks up.
I have only one thing planned for the next hour. Fuck her in my bed without the sound of Grandpa Harvey's vulgar moans on the other side of the wall.
“We need to talk,” I say to Cash when he gets home from work.
“And I need a shower,” he huffs.
“It can wait two seconds.” I exhale, hating that I have to do this. I hate being stuck in the middle.
Cash plops down on his cot and scratches the side of his face. “What's up?”
Ingrid's going to be pissed, but I have to tell him. “I think your dad is cheating on Clem.”
Cash smirks. “Of course, he is. He can't keep it in his pants.”
“You don't seem surprised.” My brow furrows.
“So, that's what Ingrid was talking about,” he guesses.
“I didn’t want you hearing it from someone else.”
“I appreciate that,” Cash says, clearing his throat.
He goes to stand, but I hold up a hand. “There's one more thing.”
“What?” he raises his eyebrows.
“Why aren't you staying at your house?”
Cash shakes his head. “I already told you why.”
“And I don't believe you,” I argue.
“I'm trying, Wild.” He shrugs. “I'm trying to deal with everything going on in my life and the only person who doesn't hate me—who hasn't abandoned me—is you.”
I exhale.
Just like I thought.
Cash doesn’t have family. Not anymore.
He doesn’t have his Country club friends. They cut off contact when Fanny was arrested.
I’m all he has left.
Well, Ingrid and me.
“I'm not going anywhere,” I tell him. “I’m always going to be your best friend.
“You spend a lot of time with Ingrid,” he counters. “And I keep thinking you're going to end up at NYU in the fall. This might be our last summer together.”
“I can't go to NYU, and you already know why,” I say, my throat stinging. “You need to stop taking this out on Blondie. She didn't do anything wrong. If you want to be pissed at someone, be pissed at me. I'm the one who wouldn't stay away from her.”
“Whatever.” Cash sighs as his phone dings and he pulls it out of his pocket.
“Your girlfriend?” I tease.
“Actually,” he says, scrunching his face, “no. It's your sister.”
“Elowyn?” I whip my head back. “Why is she texting you?”
Cash reads the message before handing his phone over to me. “Take a look.”
Hi, Cash. This is Elowyn Cox, Wilder's sister.
I've been trying to get in contact with him, but I think he might have blocked me.
I heard from a friend that you're staying with him.
If there's any way you could deliver a message for me, I'd be so grateful.
My mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer.
The prognosis doesn't look good, and I really need to speak with him.
Margot has cancer? That's... awful.
“Did you block her?” Cash asks me.
I run a hand through my hair. “No, but I put her notifications on silent. She kept pushing me to go on a summer vacation with my dad and Margot last summer. It was easier to just ignore her.”
“You should call her, Wild.”
“Yeah.” I swallow harshly. “I should.”
But talking to Elowyn brings up a shit ton of trauma. She was the chosen child. I was the abandoned one.
I stare at the screen, trying to gain my bearings.
Distance has always been easier.
“About what I said,” Cash says, his eyebrows knitting together. “I wasn't trying to cock block you. I just knew if I stayed at my old house and if I drove my old truck, my parents would find a way to control my life again. I can't live like that. Not anymore.”
“I know,” I say.
Archibald and Fanny had Cash’s whole life planned out for him. Fanny even went so far as to get Ingrid’s dad fired from his job.
“I'm going to shower,” he says as he stands.
“Yeah, sounds good.”
I take a deep breath and reach for my phone. I scroll through my text messages until I find Elowyn’s name. Sure enough, she's sent me a dozen texts.
Can you please call me?
I'm not trying to bother you, but something really important came up. Please call me.
Wilder? Are you ignoring me?
I'm sorry I pushed getting together on you, but I could really use a friend right now.
My mom has cancer. I don't know what I'm going to do. Dad pretends everything is fine, but I'm hurting.
Please, Wilder. Please reply to me.
Dad didn't come home last night. I don't know why. My mom's been crying all day because she thinks he left.
He's home. I guess he fell asleep at the office.
She's going to die. She's going to die and I'm not ready. How do I prepare for her death?
I know you won't call. I know you won't reply. I don't know why.
I stop reading as my throat clogs and heat builds behind my eyes. I've spent years keeping Elowyn at arm's length, refusing contact because I thought she ruined my family. But Elowyn never ruined my life. She just got caught in the fallout like I did.
Responding to her would be the right thing to do, but I'm not sure it's what I want to do. Once I open that door, I won't be able to close it.
And right now, Cash needs me. Ingrid does, too. Can I handle one more person needing something from me?
“You make a decision yet?” Cash asks ten minutes later as he climbs onto his cot and I'm still staring at the alarming messages.
“No,” I answer truthfully.
“I've been thinking.” Cash chews on his lower lip.
“About?”
“About my parents. About you and Ingrid. About my life.”
“That's surprisingly deep for you.” I flash my eyebrows at him.
Cash inhales sharply. “About getting away.”
“Getting away?”
“The girl, Britta, that I've been talking to in California,” he supplies, “she wants to meet.”
“Are you saying what I think you're saying?” I tilt my head to the side.
“I need a break from my parents. You obviously need a break from whatever the hell is going on with your family. Ingrid probably needs one from hers. What if the three of us...” he trails off.
Did he just include Ingrid in this plan?
I’m shocked.
“The three of us what?”
“What if we road trip to California?” Cash suggests. “We'd be gone a week, maybe two.” He hitches his shoulder. “Could be a chance for us to get away from it all.”
Ingrid and I were talking about making another bucket list. This could be it. A road trip bucket list.
“I'm game if Blondie is.” I grin.
Cash sucks in a harsh breath. “Who's going to convince her?”
It won’t take much. She needs to get away from Isla and Grandpa Harvey.
“I'll talk to her,” I tell him.
I don't know if this is a good idea, but those text messages are burning a hole in my back pocket.
Elowyn can wait another week
Right now, I want to go.