21. RJ
RJ
I know we need to talk more about what’s happening between us and what happens after we leave this island, but I just want to enjoy this moment with her. We’ve been back at the house for twenty-four hours, and I already can’t get enough of Summer.
I don’t want to just fuck this woman. I want to give her all the pleasure she’s been denied over the years. Pleasure I could have given her sooner if I’d just pulled my head out of my ass.
We’re sitting on loungers on the back porch waiting for the fireworks to start, and even though I should be looking out at the ocean, I can’t keep my eyes off her.
She’s wearing the tiniest bathing suit, delicate strings holding up little triangles of fabric over her cunt and tits.
I’ve touched every one of those curves over the past day, and it’s still not enough.
But it’s her face that’s captured my attention at the moment.
It’s calm and relaxed for the first time all week, like she hasn’t got a worry in the world, and I revel in the knowledge that I did that.
After several moments she looks over at me. “What? Is there something on my face?” She swipes at her cheeks, but I grab her hand and kiss it, then rest it on my lap.
“No. I just can’t stop staring at you. You’re so fucking beautiful. All week I’ve been sneaking glances when I thought no one was looking, but now I can look all I want. And that’s what I intend to do.”
“But you’re missing the fireworks.”
“They’ll look even more beautiful in the reflection of your eyes.”
She turns her head, her gaze meeting mine as if to say “Yeah, right,” but the look on my face stops her. I’d wait forever if it meant she’d never doubt me again.
Hooking a finger under her chin, I tilt her face and lean in until our lips are a breath apart.
“The fact that I could have been doing this for years is a crime I will pay for in regret. If you need time, I won’t rush you.
But I’m not going anywhere—not after we leave this island, not when we return to Chestnut Mountain.
I won’t make the same mistake my teenage self did by letting you go. ”
We move at the same time, our lips crashing together in a tidal wave of passion. It’s all-consuming and soul-deep. After so much time apart, I can’t stand the thought of her sitting anywhere else but on my lap, and I grip her waist with my free hand, tugging her onto my lounger.
My heart feels like a Roman candle in my chest, wild and uncontained, shooting sparks in every direction, like it might burst if I let go of her.
A loud explosion crackles behind her, and she breaks the kiss, pushing up against my chest. She’s hovering over me, her hair wild as it whips around her face in the salty, ocean breeze.
Her pupils are blown wide, the blue in her eyes a thin ring as she pants rapidly as if trying to catch her breath.
“I can’t breathe,” she rasps. “Everything in my body is tingling.”
She collapses onto my chest, and I rub her arms, noticing they’re covered in goosebumps. “Are you cold?”
“No. That’s what happens every time you kiss me. Every nerve ending in my body fires, my skin prickles, and my hair stands on end. Just like it did in high school.”
I smile against her head, wrapping my arms around her tighter as another round of fireworks go off in the distance. “Don’t you want to watch those? Isn’t that why we came out here in the first place?”
“We came out here because I knew if we stayed in that house for one more minute, we’d hump each other again. Not that I’m complaining, but I’m a little sore and I need a break. Plus, I figured if we were out here, we’d behave since it’s not completely private.”
I glance at the houses on either side of us, confirming her assumptions are correct when I see the neighbors sitting on their decks. “If you think a few neighbors will stop me from claiming this pussy, you’re sorely mistaken.”
Her cheeks pinken as she looks up at me. “Don’t be ridiculous. And not that I’m not loving this, but who even are you right now? You were never like this in high school.”
“I was an idiot in high school. And I’m not losing you again.
” She locks eyes with mine and I exhale sharply.
“I know I said a week, but I lied. There’s no way I’ll be able to walk away from this, to go back home and pretend like I’m not madly in love with you.
The second we kissed in that airport, something clicked into place.
I’ve spent most of my life searching for something fulfilling, and I’ve found it three times.
When I looked into my baby girl’s eyes for the first time, when I became a firefighter, and when I kissed you.
I know things are complicated with Raven, but they don’t have to be. I’ll talk to her.”
“And say what?”
“I don’t know yet, but I’ll figure it out, we’ll figure it out.” I pause. “Unless I’m reading this all wrong, and you don’t want this?”
A pit forms in my stomach as she exhales and takes way too fucking long to reply. “I want this. I’m just scared. What if this doesn’t work out, and then not only do I lose you, but I lose Raven too? What if she gets mad?”
“What makes you think this wouldn’t work out?” I need to know what her fears are so I can remove all doubt from her mind. I want this. I want her. She’s it for me.
She sits up, straddling my legs. “What if you feel this way because it’s just convenient? What if we get home and you get bored? What if the person you love is the version of me you remember and not the person I am now?”
I open my mouth to respond when she places her fingertips against my lips stopping me.
“We’re not the same people we were in high school. I’ve grown. I got married, had kids, got cheated on, got divorced. It changed me. And I know you’ve changed too. Yes, we used to be close in middle school and high school. But what if we’re too different now?”
I grab her hands, gently coaxing her to look at me.
“Your right eye is slightly darker in color. There are three tiny green flecks in your left eye. I stared at those eyes for years growing up. And when I walked in on you when I first got here, even though you were topless, it was your eyes that struck me. Those eyes saw me back then and they see me now. At your core, I know you’re the same loving, wonderfully kind person you’ve always been.
Life may have hardened you, made you strong in ways you never thought you could be, and I may have stolen your sunshine, but I’m not going anywhere.
I love every version of you, including the ones I’m still getting to know. I got you.”
Her eyes brim with unshed tears.
“And I’ve only had one morning of waking up next to you where I’ve gotten to study your freckles, but by the end of this trip I’ll be able to tell you the exact number. Hell, I’ll be able to map them from memory.”
A tear rolls down her cheek, and I swipe it with my thumb as I lean in and kiss her.
It’s soft, tentative, and she pushes up on my chest as she speaks.
“I wasn’t thrilled about sharing a bed with you initially.
I was still hurt about our past, but I secretly hoped that I’d wake up to you staring at me, memorizing my freckles, so it’s funny that you say that.
I was convinced you wanted nothing to do with me.
Especially when I kept waking up alone.”
“I like to work out in the mornings and relieve all the tension you caused each time you snuggled me in your sleep.” My free hand travels down her back, landing on her perfect round ass as I squeeze it in my hand. “What else were you secretly hoping to wake to?”
The most beautiful blush creeps into her cheeks. “I dunno…” she trails off, and I tilt her head toward mine.
“I remember you telling me to fill you with something on your birthday. What was it?”
“Oh my God.” She drops her head to my chest, refusing to look at me and I can’t help but chuckle.
“Would you like it if you woke up with my head between your thighs every morning for the rest of this trip?”
She giggles against me, tracing a finger along my pec. “Don’t tease me with a good time.”
“I’m not teasing.”
Her head tilts up, eyes searching mine.
“I would be happy to make that a reality.” I kiss her forehead. “Is that what you were dreaming about on your birthday?”
“That was so embarrassing.”
“It’s not embarrassing. What’s embarrassing was the massive erection I had to hide once I left the bedroom that morning.”
She chuckles against me.
“Tell me about the dream. Do you have it often?”
She nods, revealing nothing.
“How will I make it come true if I don’t know how it plays out?”
Keeping her head burrowed against me she finally speaks. “It usually starts with you bringing me breakfast, and then we roll around in bed.”
“I need more specifics than that.”
“Please don’t make me say it out loud. It’s so embarrassing.” She squirms against me.
I slide a hand along her cheek, tilting her head up to look at me. “There’s nothing embarrassing about voicing your desires or fantasies. And I want every deliciously dirty detail in that head of yours so I can make them all reality.”
“Okay, but I can’t look at you while I’m talking about this…” She drops her head to my chest. “Sometimes you go down on me, but my dreams never accurately captured how that felt, so I’m starting to think the real thing is better than anything my dreams conjured up.”
I can’t help the dopey grin on my face at her admission. “What else?”
“Sometimes I would go down on you. But it always ends with us doing it.”
“Details, Summer. I want all the details.”
She sighs, bringing a palm up to cover her face as she speaks through her hand. “My favorite one is when I wake up and you’re… down there already.” She pauses. “I’m not good at this.”
“At what?” I pull her hands away from her face.
“At talking about this stuff.”
“What stuff?” It feels good to tease her like this, it feels like our old dynamic.