Chapter 19
The Good Time Girl had a way of making everything feel as close to perfect as it could, so Lacey was happy she and Roman had decided to take it out on this, their last night before he left for training camp.
Tessa’s twenty-nine-foot cabin cruiser had a low, confident profile and a name in a looping script across the stern that Lacey had watched an artist hand paint a while ago.
The boat had been Lacey and Roman’s happy place since they’d met, but tonight felt more bittersweet than joyful.
Lacey stood near the bow with her bare feet planted on warm fiberglass, one hand curled around a champagne flute, the other braced on the rail. The sun was dipping into the horizon, dragging gold across the Destin harbor like somebody had spilled a jar of honey on the water.
In the distance, a charter boat was easing back in, tired and slow. Closer by, a pair of teenagers laughed loudly on paddleboards, their voices carrying across the slick surface. Pelicans glided over the water, wings barely flapping, as if they had all the time in the world.
Lacey wished she could borrow that feeling.
Behind her, Roman adjusted something at the helm, turning them away from another boat’s wake. He loved this boat, too. Born and raised on the water, a fisherman from both his birth and adopted families, Roman loved the freedom of being out here away from the world.
Lacey loved it because it was familiar. The boat carried the memory of earlier, lighter days—Tessa at the wheel with her hair in a messy knot, a playlist blasting, with Lawsons and Wylies sprawled across the seats like sun-drowsy cats, laughing about nothing, everything.
But there was no lightness tonight, their last date in Destin—at least for a while. Lacey had been telling herself all afternoon that this was simply a sunset cruise. Champagne. Harbor breeze. Salty kisses. A moment of softness before reality slammed back in.
She hadn’t given him an answer about moving, but then, they hadn’t really discussed it after he came back from Jacksonville. The topic had been tabled, she assumed, and he was waiting for her to bring it up.
That had to happen tonight. Now, even.
Her pulse had been jittery all day, her thoughts skipping and sprinting, as if something inside her already knew this was a threshold.
A line she’d cross and couldn’t uncross.
Roman came up beside her and slid his hand into hers, their fingers threading naturally. He kissed her temple, a warm brush of lips that made her want to turn into him and stay there until the sun sank completely.
“How you doin’?” he asked, low and gentle, as if he could feel the tension humming beneath her skin.
She tried to answer lightly. “I’m great. We’re on a boat. The only thing I’m responsible for is…not dropping my phone in the water.”
He gave a soft laugh, but he didn’t let it go. “Lace,” he said quietly. “Talk to me.”
Lacey stared out at the water, at the marinas and docks and condo balconies all fiery with sunset light. Boats rocked gently on their moorings. Music floated from somewhere—a distant speaker, a bar on HarborWalk.
“Okay,” she said, and her voice came out too tight. She cleared her throat and tried again. “I’ve been rehearsing it, actually, because I didn’t want to ruin tonight, and now I’m worried I’m going to ruin tonight anyway, so I’m sorry.”
Roman’s mouth curved, but his eyes stayed steady. “You can’t ruin anything by telling me the truth.”
She swallowed and looked down at their hands. His thumb stroked the side of her finger in a small, loving motion.
“I’ve been thinking about Jacksonville,” she began, and felt her chest tighten immediately. “About what it means if…if we do this. If I go.”
Roman didn’t speak but waited, listening intently.
“It isn’t just moving,” Lacey said, words tumbling, because once she started, she couldn’t stop.
“It isn’t just changing my address and learning the fastest way to the grocery store.
Tessa’s offered me a bigger role in her company and it’s a huge opportunity.
I can’t do that job from Jacksonville, not the way I’m doing it now.
And it’s becoming a huge part of my identity.
Like I wake up and know exactly who I am when my feet hit the floor. ”
Her eyes burned, and she hated that. She hated crying when she wasn’t even sure what she was crying about yet.
“I love you,” she said, and that part came easy, because it was the clearest thing she’d ever felt. “I’m not questioning that. I’m not questioning us.”
Roman’s grip tightened slightly, but he still didn’t interrupt her.
“But I’m scared,” she admitted, voice shaking. “And I’m embarrassed that I’m scared, because you do things with such confidence and I keep…spinning.”
His gaze softened, but his jaw tensed. “Tell me what you’re scared of,” he said.
“I’m scared that if I go, I’ll lose myself,” she said, quietly. “And I’m scared that if I don’t go, I’ll lose you.”
Roman exhaled, slow, as if he’d been holding his breath.
She gestured vaguely at the harbor, at Destin, at everything.
“This place has become a home to me. My family is here. My mom, who really is my closest friend. Tessa, who is so much more than a boss. Uncle Eli and my cousins, Jonah and Atlas. Meredith is here at the moment, and Grandma Maggie. Somehow, they all ended up in Destin—”
“For the summer,” he interjected.
She made a face. “My mother and Uncle Eli—and I assume Aunt Crista—aren’t giving up that house. It’s our new family home and…and…” She huffed out a breath. “I’m not ready to leave them all.”
Roman’s gaze stayed steady on her face.
“So I guess we need to talk about long-distance,” she added. “And how that might work for us.”
He gave her a look that said he didn’t think it could work, but didn’t say anything.
“You see what I mean, don’t you?” she continued. “I don’t want to resent you because I followed you to Jacksonville and gave up my job and family. And I don’t want to miss out on the greatest guy because I was scared.”
Roman lifted his free hand and brushed the hair off her cheek, his fingertips grazing her skin.
“I’m sorry this is such a struggle, Lace.”
“Well, it is,” she confessed, and there it was—the core truth she’d been skirting.
“I feel like I’m two versions of myself fighting in my head.
One version wants to be brave and say yes to everything and be like Tessa, a world beater who doesn’t need a man.
Or like Meredith, superstar workaholic. The other version wants to run back to your arms and hide in your incredible shadow forever. ”
Roman’s eyes flicked down to her mouth and back up, as if he wanted to kiss her and anchor her there, but he didn’t. He stayed with her words.
“You aren’t going to hide in anyone’s shadow, Lacey Knight. You aren’t Tessa or your mom or your cousin or any other role model. You’re you. Beautiful, smart, funny, inquisitive, and perfect.”
She let out a sigh. “Eh, you had me at beautiful,” she joked, then looked up at him. “Can we talk about how long-distance could work? I could come for game weekends and when you travel, I—”
He put a finger on her lips, quieting her. Then he glanced past her toward the open water where the sun was sinking fast, the sky turning flushed and bruised. Then he looked back at her, and something in his face shifted—resolve settling in, unmistakable.
“Actually,” he said, and his voice had a new steadiness, “the sun is almost where it should be.”
She drew back, a frown forming. “For what?”
“Come to the back of the boat. I want to move us to another spot.”
Before she could ask why, he guided her to the helm. She sat on the back cushions as the engine changed pitch. The boat angled into a wider arc, leaving the busier channel behind and sliding into a calmer stretch of water where the surface smoothed and reflected the sky like glass.
“Where are we going?” she asked, trying to keep her tone light.
“The perfect spot.” He steered the boat with practiced ease, then lowered the throttle until the Good Time Girl slowed to a gentle drift. He cut the engine to full silence.
“Look,” he said, pointing behind her. “Dolphins.”
She turned and squinted into the sun-dappled water but must have missed the millisecond that they jumped. She waited for one to rise in an arc but didn’t see anything.
After a beat, she turned, surprised to find him in front of her, holding out a hand to bring her to her feet. Then he took both of her hands and looked right into her eyes, not at dolphins.
Wait, had he just made her turn away for some reason?
“I wanted to be right here,” he said, “when the sun hits the water.”
She wanted to look to the west and see that, but she couldn’t take her gaze off his face. No sunset could be as enticing to her eyes.
“Look, Lace, I know we haven’t had much time, but sometimes time isn’t the measure. Sometimes clarity is.”
Lacey’s throat went dry at the serious tone, but Roman’s gaze didn’t waver.
“I’ve talked to my parents,” he said. “I’ve talked to my friends. I’ve talked to my coach, teammates, and anyone else I trust completely.”
She blinked at him, aware of her eyes stinging again.
“I’ve sat alone and asked myself if I’m being impulsive or if I’m being honest.”
His hands tightened around hers, which was good, because she felt like she might actually sway with this boat.
“And every time I ask, the answer comes back the same.”
He released one of her hands and reached into his pocket.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
The world narrowed to that small movement and a box appeared in his palm, the sight of it stopping her heart. Then it started again, too fast.
“Roman,” she whispered, and didn’t even realize she’d spoken.
Very slowly, very gracefully, Roman lowered himself to one knee.