Chapter 18 Valenna #2
“What will Hera do …” she began, but stopped when Evander lifted the bag by the strap and hurled it onto the ground. It broke open, spilling its contents. His breath whistling in his nostrils, Evander tore off his glasses and crammed them into his vest pocket, then leaned against a tree.
“I’m so sorry, Van. I know Hera is special …”
Evander cut a bitter laugh. “Oh, she’s more than that. And I raised her from an egg. I am her mother. I am the only person she trusts, and I’m supposed to send her into battle? How can I do that?”
“Tell the master dracologist the truth,” she ordered, “or I will.”
“No, you won’t,” Evander said. “Because if you do, I’ll say I killed the tuber and you’re lying to protect me.”
Valenna’s mouth dropped open. “You wouldn’t.”
Evander smiled grimly. “You have no idea what I would do for you, Val.”
He clicked for Hera to follow him and strode toward the exit.
He paused and rubbed some of the salve on her bulging sides before she attempted to squeeze through the door.
All three heads didn’t fit together, so she laid her left one flat on her back and jammed her massive shoulders through the frame.
She stuck for an instant, and Evander hefted his shoulder against her rear, pushing with all his might.
Talons scraping the dirt, she finally broke free like a cork from a bottle and held her three heads aloft again, snorting bashfully.
Evander stepped aside, holding the metal curtain for Valenna. She ducked out, and he followed her, wiping sweat from his brow.
“It’s alright to be angry,” Valenna said as they walked down the path together. “Let it out. Shout. Kick something. Let it out.”
Evander smiled wanly. “If I lose my temper, I’ll probably fall over dead.”
“I imagine holding it in is worse.”
His gaze flicked toward her and then returned to Hera, and he chuckled. “I’m not sure you’re the one to give advice on managing anger.”
Valenna bristled. “I was managing aptly until I stumbled upon you again. When I’m around you, I fall apart.
I forget about my father, and finding my sister, and I become a simpering, love-sick fool!
” Glistening vines wreathed her, and she took a step away from him, afraid they might touch him and burn his skin.
“I am knotted up inside. I don’t know up from down, but I know that I love you, and I always have, and I’m horribly afraid that I always will. ”
Evander didn’t reply at first, and Valenna’s magic bubbled inside her like swamp water. The vines twined her arms, scratching.
“You need to understand,” Evander began.
Valenna inhaled like she’d been sliced with a sword. “I’m sorry,” she interrupted. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to pressure you …”
“No, no, listen.” He crossed the space between them and caught her hands in his, unwinding the thorns from her wrists, then her forearms. They pricked him; he didn’t notice.
“You need to understand that what Haldir wants to do tomorrow is very, very dangerous. Hera loves me, but if she is frightened, that won’t stop her from crushing me along with anyone else who gets in her way.
” He took a pen knife from his pocket and cut her free.
“Go back to Largotia, Val. Return to your occupation, forget about your father, and be happy …”
“Stop trying to tell me what to do.”
“Alright then, I’m not telling you. I’m begging you. Please, Val, please forget you saw me here. Go and be happy and complete without me.”
“I don’t think I can be happy and complete without you.
” Her throat burned. She wasn’t used to tears, and their sting surprised her.
She risked a quick look at Evander, and her heart stuttered.
She thought she caught the glimmer of tears in his eyes as well, but he composed himself so quickly, Valenna wondered if she’d imagined it.
“Val, you are a brilliant, beautiful woman with a promising career. I was ever in awe of your love for me. You deserve the best, and I can’t ask you to put up with me anymore. It’s unfair.”
“Come with me to Largotia! They have positions there. We could be together again!”
He shook his head. “They know about my condition. One episode like I had on the plains, and I’ll be at a desk. I can’t live like that; I’ll go mad. Besides, I have something I need to take care of.”
“What?”
He rubbed his jaw. “I’m not sure where to begin.”
She was being overbearing, and she knew it.
Perhaps he didn’t love her anymore—not like he had before, but that was his right.
If she didn’t want him to control her, she couldn’t attempt to control him either.
Though she couldn’t bring herself to believe that he didn’t want her as much as she wanted him.
There must be an impediment—a secret tucked behind his wall of reserve.
“So we just forget we ever saw one another?” she asked.
“It’s not what either of us wants, but I think it’s what we need to do.”
“I agree.” She did not agree. “We had a lovely little fling, but this is the sensible thing.”
“I’m afraid it is. Have a safe journey to Largotia.”
They stood in silence for a moment, but she couldn’t unlock her gaze from his.
She thought the ground might pitch beneath their feet and plunge them into one another like two colors of paint mixing.
Evander overcame it first, and with a painful tightening of his mouth, he walked down the path.
He glanced over his shoulder at her once before he was obscured by the budding branches.
She forced a wan smile, a tear slipping down her cheek.
A pricking sensation spread through her body as though her skin was charged with electricity, and a circle of bluebells jumped up around her feet — not thistles or poisonous mushrooms, but lovely little bluebells. With a shout of surprise, she stumbled backward and struck a tree.
Valenna began to wonder if she was losing her mind.