Chapter 11 #2
Knox, who’d been making a point of leaving the office one afternoon a week to talk to his therapist, even though I knew better than to ever mention this out loud.
Knox, who was a closet stealth cuddler, pretending to fall asleep on one side of whoever’s bed we happened to end up in at night, only to plaster himself up against my side once he thought I was asleep, wrap his arm around my waist, and thread our fingers together.
Knox, who’d murmured, “Gage,” against the back of my neck that morning with such sleepy satisfaction that I couldn’t even give him shit about it being the first and only time he’d called me by my first name, but had rolled him over and thanked him with an early morning beej instead.
Knox, who I was developing Capital-R Real, Capital-F Feelings for, even though I’d sorta kinda low-key pinky sworn that I could stick to the rules.
“And what did Jason have to say?” I prompted, not really giving a shit about the answer.
“Mmm.” Knox chewed pumpkin bread for a second, then grinned smugly.
“That he’s ready to move forward with the hiring process.
One of his R&D guys left, so they had this whole organizational reshuffle, and now he has an opening in his New York office.
” His grin got bigger and smugger than I’d ever seen it.
“He said, ‘Hey, so, I have this position, but I’m not even sure what to call it. I want someone who’s going to do some research and find fresh, new ideas that will get our guys excited to solve problems, and ideally this person will also want to see the project through from beginning to end.
Think Gage is up for that sort of thing?
’ I remained very calm and told him I felt confident you’d be interested in at least taking a meeting to see what he had to offer. ”
“Wait. Wait, what?” My heart pounded for a whole other reason that had nothing to do with Knox—at least, I was pretty sure—and I felt both excited and weirdly scared. This was more than I’d expected. It was much more like… everything I’d wanted. “In New York?”
“Yup. Right in Chelsea. Imagine yourself looking out at the city from your office.” Knox practically bounced he was so damn excited, which was at least as terrifying as the whistling because Knox was not a bouncy person.
“Well. I won’t imagine it yet because I haven’t even had the interview.” I smiled. “Though I appreciate the vote of confidence.”
“He started researching you when Myles first mentioned your name a while back—”
“Researching me?” I echoed.
“Yep. I guess a friend of his in Florida is friends with one of your old professors, who had extremely positive things to say about you. And I managed to dredge up a couple nice things to say, too. So the interview is seventy-five percent formality, just to make sure you mesh with the corporate culture, that you’re cool with the salary… All that stuff.”
“Oh.” I nodded with the enthusiasm I knew I should feel—and would feel, no doubt, once it had really sunk in.
“Wow! Well. I’m happy to talk to him, obvs, but when is he looking for someone to start?
’Cause I still have a buh-uh-unch of work to do on this app.
” I forced a laugh. “And Webb said I could take my time. Right, Webb?”
“Oh yeah.” Webb nodded. “Long as you need.”
Knox tilted his head and looked at me like I was being weird, which I super wasn’t. I was not the one practically vibrating with excitement at the idea that the guy I was fucking might trot off to New York months earlier than anticipated.
It was fucking rude, was what it was. And I wanted my morning blow job back.
“I’m sure he’ll go over all that during the interview,” Knox assured me. “But if he’s letting you pick your own projects, I’m sure he’ll be fine letting you choose your start date. Then again, I think Webb could hire someone else to finish the app if you had to start sooner. Right, Webb?”
“Well, sure.” Webb nodded again. “I mean, you’ve gotta do what’s best for you, Gage.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “But it would be a pain for you to find another app developer at this stage,” I challenged. “And I’d still be working on Pipsy anyway. Right, Webb?”
“Uh.” Webb frowned, his gaze flickering between me and Knox. “I mean—”
“But since it’d be almost impossible for Goodman to find a dream job like this ever again, everyone in town would understand. Right, Webb?”
“I, um—” Webb scratched his head and squinted at Knox. “Guys? What’s happening here?”
Knox shrugged like he was just as mystified as his brother, which was even ruder.
“Nothing,” I assured Webb, rolling my eyes. “Just Knox, having to have the final say, even when he’s being helpful.” I got to my feet and collected my tablet and phone. “I’ll call Jason and set up a time. Thanks, Knox.”
“It’s already done. Tuesday. Nine o’clock. In Cambridge,” Knox said firmly. “I’ll drive you down Monday, and we can stay at my condo. The guy who sublet it for the summer is out now, and the leasing company had it cleaned.”
Webb frowned. “The place hasn’t sold yet? Is there something wrong with it? I thought the city real estate market was a feeding frenzy.”
“Er. Yeah. Usually. I guess I need to figure that out.” He cleared his throat.
“We can’t do Tuesday. I’m redoing Jack’s website then. He wants to add online ordering functionality and bring Panini Jack’s into the twenty-first century.” I smiled. “Next, he needs to add delivery so I can get my grilled cheese and apples brought to the orchard.”
“Oooh, good idea,” Drew approved.
“Reschedule Jack.” Knox took on that superior tone that I genuinely hated. “Your career takes priority over doing a favor for a friend.”
“It’s not a favor. It’s a job, even if it’s for a friend, okay? Besides, Jack’s been stressed about his mom and busy at the restaurant. I’m not rescheduling. I’ll call Jason and reschedule.”
Knox chewed a piece of pumpkin bread and watched me carefully, like he thought I was losing my mind. “Whatever you want,” he agreed, clearly humoring me. “Just… let me know which day you wanna go, I guess.”
Why did he sound so damned disappointed? Was he that eager for me to leave?
“You know what, Knox? Why don’t you—” I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. I was one angry half second away from telling him that he could fuck himself and his ride to Boston, but I stopped myself at the last moment as reason broke through.
Um… What had Knox done wrong, exactly? Not a single damn thing. He was following the rules we’d laid out for this relationship. I’d promised him this would be convenient. Meaningless. Temporary. Fun.
He’d hyped me up to his friend. He’d gotten me an interview for an incredible job in an amazing city.
And I was pissy because… he was happy for me?
Damn. Maybe I was losing my mind.
“I think… Thursday,” I concluded.
Knox smiled. “Great.”
“I, um… promised my family I’d call and check in,” I lied, motioning toward the back door. I’d actually talked to my dad over the weekend, and everyone was fine. “They like to hear from me.”
“Of course they do,” Drew agreed.
“Webb, let me know if Aiden has questions about the app, okay?” I asked as I pulled on my jacket.
Webb nodded. “Will do. Thanks again.”
I stalked out to the parking area, my boots crunching over the gravel and my stomach churning for reasons I didn’t want to examine too closely.
Then I realized Knox might walk in that direction to get back to the office, and if he saw me, he’d ask what the hell my problem was.
Since I didn’t have a fucking clue, I definitely didn’t want to do that.
Instead, I doubled back in the other direction and walked up the rutted path toward the Pond Orchard, my phone and tablet still clutched against my chest like a shield.
Before I had time to consciously think about it, I called my dad, thinking at least his familiar voice would knock me out of whatever mood I’d fallen into, but I was surprised when my oldest brother’s boyfriend answered instead.
“Gageling!” Jay said happily. “Dude, you never call, you never write, you never take part in the Whispering Key group chat.”
I smiled, because only my brother Rafe could have landed himself a guy who was an award-winning musician and not only madly in love with my brother but also madly in love with the people of Whispering Key and the life they were building there.
Then I sighed.
“Uh-oh. What’s happening?” Jay demanded. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s great.” Or, like, it was supposed to be? “I’m just having a moment, you know? So thought I’d check in with my dad. “
“Ah. You called his house phone, and I’m over here watering plants.
Your dad decided a few weeks ago that orchids were his new passion, but he also didn’t want to give up his old passion of taking the boat down the coast whenever the mood moved him, so I’m orchid-sitting.
” I could practically hear his good-natured eye roll.
“Living the dream over here, like the song says.”
“Same!” I said with enthusiasm I didn’t feel. “I mean, I will be. I’ve got a huge job interview coming up down in Cambridge. Probably on Thursday.” I gave him the rundown about Rubicon and Jason and the incredible make-your-own job Knox had described. “And the position would be in New York.”
“Holy shit! Gage! That sounds amazing, man. You’ve always wanted to live in New York! You are kicking ass. No surprise there.”
“Yeah. Yep. Kicking all the ass,” I agreed. I hesitated, rolling my lips together, and asked in a small voice, “So why am I not more excited?”
“Wait, you’re not?”
“No, I am! I totally am. I mean… gosh, yes. It’s legit what I have dreamed about. If I could have hand-drawn a job, it would be this. Yup.” I paused. “But also… not.”
“Ahhh. You’re nervous,” Jay said knowingly. “That’s what this is. You want it too much.”
“Yeah. Probably.” I ran a hand over my face. “That makes total sense. I mean, I don’t feel nervous, but it’s probably a subconscious thing.”
It was Jay’s turn to hesitate. “You don’t feel nervous? At all?”