Chapter 27
LOUISA
‘Louisa, is that you?’ Her mother’s voice on the other end of the phone made the tears flow even more. Louisa was outside the hospital on Guernsey, leaning against a wall. The skies were dark, and the world carried on around her in this place of emergency.
‘It’s me,’ she whimpered.
‘What’s happened? Are you all right?’
‘Yes, I’m fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to panic you.’
An exhale of relief was followed by, ‘Take your time. Tell me what’s going on.’
Louisa had been an anxious child. She wasn’t sure why.
Sometimes she’d wondered whether it was because it was just her and her mum, no dad to rely on, no siblings in her corner, and maybe she hadn’t learnt how to deal with things quite the way she should have.
She’d shared her theory with a friend once who thought the opposite, who said she would surely be stronger if she was used to only having her mum to rely on and nobody else.
Louisa had no idea which of them was right. All she knew was that she hadn’t felt this anxious since her teenage years. She’d forgotten the feeling of having the walls of the world closing in and what it felt like to have to remind herself to take a proper breath in and let it go each time.
‘Gayle is in the hospital,’ she said, as she moved further along the wall so she was well out of the way of the ambulance bay.
‘What happened?’
She recapped what she knew, told her mum that Susanna and Addie were here in Guernsey too. ‘Mum, they know.’
‘They know?’ A pause. ‘Oh, they know.’
The way her mum said it so conspiratorially had the power to calm her.
‘So, you and Gayle told them both?’ her mother asked.
‘Not exactly.’ The whole story poured out: Addie hearing them, Addie running off, talking with Susanna and Gayle, then Gayle collapsing and the boat trip over here because the medical facility on the island wasn’t equipped for emergencies like this.
‘And how is Gayle doing?’
‘We don’t know yet. Susanna and Addie are in the waiting room, but I needed to come outside for some air and to call you.’
‘What are they like?’ her mother asked after a beat.
She smiled. ‘Susanna is so obviously the older sister. She’s strong, she’s very much in charge.
Addie is softer. She has a kindness about her – not that Susanna doesn’t.
And Addie has curly blonde hair, not as blonde as mine, but the curls are the same.
Harry had curly hair.’ She was babbling, perhaps a mix of excitement and adrenalin, she didn’t know why.
‘He would have it cut really short so the curls didn’t show.
The only time they did, according to Gayle, was if you caught him between haircuts. ’
‘I didn’t know him very well at all, did I? It’s moments like this that remind me. The girls must have been so upset.’
‘Addie more so.’ Addie hadn’t found the letter, she hadn’t overheard her dad like Susanna had and been somewhat eased into the secret of the affair. The information had hit Addie right in the face when she overheard the conversation in the kitchen.
‘Well, they know now,’ said her mum.
‘I should get back inside, find out what’s happening.’
‘Keep me up to date, won’t you? And Louisa… I hope you and the girls can work through this.’
‘Me too.’ She turned and followed a paramedic into the hospital.
Her mum saying she hoped they could work through this meant she hoped the girls weren’t too angry, weren’t too mean to her.
It had been Lily’s biggest concern with the search for Harry, not only that he might reject her but that the rest of his family might make things unpleasant for her daughter.
Of course, Harry was no longer around which represented another hurdle, but her mum’s relief when Louisa had told her that Gayle Rafferty was really kind and hadn’t told her to get lost, was palpable.
She found Susanna and Addie in the waiting room. Mateo was on the phone at the far end. ‘Any news?’ she asked when Addie looked up as she approached.
‘None yet,’ said Addie.
Mateo came over. ‘I’ve found you a couple of rooms in a guesthouse. Two of you will need to share, but it’s a place to stay.’ He passed on the address. ‘I have to go back to Anchor Island soon, I need to be at the marina in the morning.’
‘Thanks again, Mateo,’ said Addie, with the others echoing the sentiment.
Addie turned to Louisa. ‘Susanna and I will share – you can have your own room.’
Louisa suddenly felt like an intruder. Maybe it was better to return to the island. ‘Why don’t I go with Mateo, if that’s okay?’ She looked in his direction, and he agreed it would be fine. ‘This is your family. I haven’t known Gayle all that long and I don’t want to be in the way.’
Susanna put a stop to her protest. ‘You probably know more about Gayle than we do. And she likes you. Plus, you are family.’
‘Are you sure? I—’
Susanna reached out for her hand. ‘We are sure.’ She looked at Addie.
Addie smiled at Louisa. ‘Gayle will want to see us all when she wakes up.’
These two women had no idea how much it meant to her to feel such acceptance, even in the wake of their shock.
Susanna spotted a vending machine with bottled water. ‘Anyone else parched?’
Both Louisa and Addie nodded, and while Susanna and Mateo went to get the waters Louisa quietly observed them. ‘They’re close,’ she said to Addie.
Addie smiled. ‘They used to be together. They dated for a long time before Susanna went back to the mainland and started university.’
‘Do you think they still have feelings for each other?’
‘She’s married.’
Louisa caught herself. ‘I wasn’t suggesting she’d cheat. Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked the question.’
‘It’s fine.’
‘I don’t think it’s okay to cheat either, neither does Mum. She knows it was a mistake. With your dad.’
‘Our Dad. And mistakes happen. Nobody is perfect.’ She added, ‘I know about the letter now, Susanna told me she found it.’
‘My mum sent that to Harry to let him off the hook, if that was what he wanted. I always thought he’d ignored it, but between us Gayle and I worked out that he must have received the letter right before he got sick.’
Addie paused, taking in the new information.
And then she turned in her seat to face Louisa.
‘The fact that he kept the letter says a lot, in my opinion. I was only eight when he died but I remember enough about him to know that he was a kind man, a loving man and a good father. Keeping the letter tells me he was probably working out how best to handle everything. He had us two girls to think of and if he hadn’t got sick so quickly, I really do think he would’ve got in touch with your mum and wanted to get to know you. ’
‘Really?’ She was making this moment about her, but she wanted to grasp at whatever she could, while she could.
‘I really do,’ said Addie.
Addie was being so kind, but when she glanced over at Mateo – who would be leaving any second now – she didn’t want to miss her chance. ‘I really think it’s best if I go, let you and Susanna digest everything.’
‘No,’ said Addie firmly. ‘Please stay. I’ve seen how kind you are to Gayle, how much she likes you. And the Raffertys, in case you hadn’t noticed, are a bit thin on the ground these days. We need you for the numbers.’
They were interrupted by a nurse intercepting Susanna returning with Mateo and the bottles of water. The nurse must have met the Rafferty girls this evening already because she didn’t ask who they were here for.
‘Just two visitors at a time,’ said the nurse once she’d shared the information that Gayle was doing well and resting.
Addie linked an arm through Susanna’s. Of course, they would go through first. But then Addie announced, ‘We’re sisters, we’re all Gayle Rafferty’s nieces. Can we be the exception tonight, please? We came all the way from Anchor Island.’
The nurse, obviously deciding whether it was more than her job was worth, relented. ‘Very well – but not for too long.’
‘Come on,’ said Addie. ‘Let’s go see how she’s doing.’
Half-sisters, by her side, something she’d never had. And it was something she was so grateful for. They could’ve refused to have anything to do with her, they could’ve excluded her this evening, but instead they were embracing her into their family.