Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
R yan was right. Once Brielle got started telling stories about her companion, she couldn’t stop. Her cold yet clammy fingers were curled into his hair and she couldn’t seem to stop watching his stuttering breaths, but her mouth never stopped moving.
Speaking about the dog up, running, playing and all the adventures they’d had together helped lighten the weight of grief she was struggling to hold up. A burden that she was gratefully sharing with the man next to her, which was completely unexpected, but only proved to take more of Brielle’s heart away from her.
Some of it was dying with her dog, but the piece that had already begun to belong to Ryan, was growing bigger.
She’d expected his anger and had been prepared to beg for Sparky. She knew Ryan wouldn’t turn the dog away, but she had expected him to be begrudging about it, or at least make a few sarcastic remarks about helping her when she’d been so horrible to him earlier.
Instead, he’d sent away the angry neighbor without a second glance and welcomed Brielle inside with open arms. Actual open arms.
Those very arms were curled around her even now and the weight and heat of them was the only thing keeping her from fully breaking into pieces. When he’d held her earlier while she cried, Brielle hadn’t ever wanted to walk away. She’d been alone so long, at least in terms of people.
She had some wonderful friends and she loved Papa and Mama Harrison wholeheartedly, but she’d still been alone.
For some reason, Brielle had spent her life fighting for her place in the world, especially with her family. She was always defending who she was and what she wanted to be, and at this moment, she felt the heavy weight of that type of lifestyle.
Now that she was losing the one piece of support who had been with her through it all, she had no idea what she was going to do. Instead of coming home to a drooling, smiling, tail-thumping dog, she was going to come home to quiet emptiness.
Now that she was getting a small glimpse of what it was like to have someone to share things with, Brielle wasn’t sure how she was going to keep going. Her heart was breaking for Sparky, but it was also breaking for herself. She’d ruined any chance of happiness for her future because of her fear and past experience.
Ryan had proved himself again and again, but she wasn’t going to expect miracles, especially in the forgiveness department. He’d let her in because he was a good guy, but she couldn’t let herself believe that his comfort was anything more than just his kindness from being a doctor.
“Wait, wait, wait…” Ryan interrupted her story and wandering thoughts. “You were both lying under the tree, just eating the gingerbread men?”
Brielle laughed softly. “Yeah. Mom had said to keep my hands off…so I did.”
Ryan’s laugh was long and loud. “Just your hands, but not your mouths. That’s hilarious. How many cookies did you get through? ”
“I have no idea,” Brielle answered. “But it was enough to make my mom furious.” She shrugged and let herself lean a little deeper into his side. “I mean, what else were we supposed to do? They were right there!”
Ryan kissed her temple again, and she had to wonder if he even knew he was doing it. It just felt so natural and right between them. She would miss his easy affection, and she’d only experienced it a couple of times. Funny how something could become so important so quickly.
Sparky’s loud breathing stopped, and Brielle’s breathing stopped with him. Her fingers tightened, and she felt Ryan shift beside her. “Ryan?” she whispered, her desperation back in full force.
Ryan leaned forward and put a hand on Sparky’s chest just as the dog took a short, gasping breath.
Brielle started to relax, but when Sparky’s chest dropped with his next exhalation, it didn’t rise again. Her hands began to shake, and her vision immediately blurred. She felt more than saw Ryan move. After several seconds, he pulled her into his chest.
“It’s over,” he whispered against her temple. “He’s out of pain.”
Her breathing grew shallow and rapid, and Brielle found she couldn’t focus on anything except Ryan’s touch. Everything in her hurt , physically hurt. Her muscles, her arms, her chest, her heart, her head, her legs…the only break from the pain was Ryan’s arms around her, a sensation she wished she could expand to the rest of her body.
“Brielle?” Ryan’s voice sounded slightly panicked, and she wasn’t sure why until her blurry vision began to turn black. “Breathe, sweetheart. Come on. Brielle, breathe with me, okay?” He took her hand and put it on his chest. “With me. In…out…in…out…”
Ryan’s words must have kickstarted her body’s natural reactions because Brielle found her vision clearing without her permission as her breathing matched the man next to her.
“That’s it,” he said in a low, soothing tone. “Just keep going. In…out…”
Brielle had no idea how long Ryan waited with her. The sky outside the window was dark and had been that way since she arrived, but she felt as if hours had passed in only a moment’s span.
Her head spun, and a migraine was pulsing behind her forehead. She’d known. She’d known this day would come, and yet she still wasn’t ready for it. How did a person say goodbye and thank you to a creature who had been so much more than a pet? He’d been a constant companion. He’d listened to Brielle cry and share her stories of loneliness. He’d greeted her for years every time she came through the door. They’d run thousands of miles together and played in the waves like children.
So much of her life had revolved around Sparky, and now he was gone.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Ryan assured her. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it’s gonna be okay.” His hand rubbed up and down her arm, bringing heat to the cold that was threatening to swallow her whole. “I’m here. You’re not alone, Brielle. You’re not alone.”
His lips whispered the last words against her skin, and she closed her eyes, welcoming the heat. She was so cold. Everything was so…cold.
“Come on.”
Her eyes snapped open when Ryan moved off the bed, taking his glorious warmth with him.
Standing up, he reached out, took her hands and pulled her off the bed with him, his arm wrapping around her waist when she swayed.
Brielle stumbled after him, down the stairs and into the family room. She wanted to ask where they were going and what he was doing, but the words were frozen, just like the rest of her.
With the flick of a switch, Ryan turned on his fireplace and planted her on the couch. He disappeared back up the stairs for a moment, thundering down with a comforter in his hands, which he promptly laid over her lap.
“Give me just a minute,” he said, making pointed eye contact with her before he walked toward the kitchen .
Brielle heard water and the microwave ticking down before he came back, two mugs in his hands, which he set on the coffee table.
“Okay,” he grunted. Grabbing the bedspread, he lifted it, sat beside her and tucked it around them, bringing instant warmth to her side. Reaching forward, he took one of the mugs and helped Brielle cradle it in her hands. “It’s hot still,” he warned.
She couldn’t even nod to answer him, but inside she was screaming for him to not stop. Everything he was doing was helping. She just didn’t know how to say it.
Once she was holding the mug, Ryan put his arm around her shoulders again, carefully pulling her deeper into his side. “Just relax, Brielle,” he whispered against the top of her hair. “I’ve got you. Let yourself process. I’m here…and I’m not going anywhere.”
Ryan could feel exactly when Brielle started to nod off and he risked shifting her to take the mug away before she spilled it down the front of the blanket. He carefully set the cup down and adjusted his arms around her.
It was a really good thing that she had trusted him enough to fall asleep. After what she’d experienced this evening, Ryan knew she had to be exhausted. Anyone would be. They were lucky it was Saturday tomorrow which would allow them to sleep in since they didn’t have a group run until the afternoon.
A quick glance at his watch let him know it was well after midnight, and he grimaced a little. The weekend was going to be rough with lack of sleep, but Brielle was worth it.
Letting his body relax into the cushions of the couch, he grinned when she sighed and snuggled deeper into his chest. She might not want to admit it, but she trusted him and the proof was visible.
Letting his head fall back, he closed his eyes and blew out a breath. It hadn’t even occurred to him when Brielle had shown up on his doorstep that he maybe should have talked to her about what happened earlier.
She’d thrown him to the curb, and Ryan still wasn’t sure why. Having Aurora show up had been awkward, for sure, but why had Brielle run away? And Ryan had gotten the impression she wasn’t just running from the situation, she was running from him.
You can talk in the morning, he assured himself. Brielle was probably going to be ticked that he’d let her sleep on him all night, but they both needed the comfort and he wasn’t about to leave her by herself. Not after just losing Sparky.
He’d seen a lot of owners lose their pets, but Brielle’s reaction had hit him deeper than most. Their relationship had been much more than simply owner and pet. She’d obviously relied on Sparky as more than a running buddy and the stories she shared told him some heavy things about their situation.
But what about Aurora? Why was Brielle so close to her dog, but not her sister?
Aurora and Brielle were very different from each other, but they were still sisters. Which only made Brielle’s reaction to Aurora tonight even more odd. Why did it matter if Aurora knew they were going on a date? His brows pulled together when he thought about the backhanded compliments Aurora had said so casually earlier in the evening, and his mind began to try and put puzzle pieces together.
Aurora had acted like her words were simply fact and hadn’t given any thought to her sister’s feelings, while Brielle had folded further and further into herself with each slap and worked to hide their planned date. That kind of behavior didn’t happen overnight. An abused pet didn’t get scared after one day of bad treatment.
He cracked his eyes open, daring to run his hand down Brielle’s wild hair. She was so strong and sassy. It seemed odd to think that she might have come from a situation where her family, or at least her sister, didn’t treat her well.
The questions swirled over and over again. Why didn’t Brielle fight back? Why had she let Aurora walk all over her? Why hadn’t she responded when he’d tried to say they were on a date? Even if Aurora and Brielle didn’t have a good relationship, what did it matter if Aurora knew they were going out?
Huffing, Ryan forced himself to close his stinging eyes. A few of the pieces might have fallen into place, but he felt like each answer brought more questions.
Tomorrow.
He tightened his grip on Brielle with a quiet promise. Tomorrow he’d be with her while she grieved and they’d get this thing between them figured out. There was no one better equipped to help her with this situation than him, and Ryan was going to make sure she knew that.
When his eyes were pulled open again, it was light in the room. The fire still danced merrily in the fireplace, but the weight and heat of Brielle’s body was missing, at least until her elbow met with his chin. “Ow,” he groaned, jerking back more from surprise than actual pain.
“Oh my gosh,” Brielle breathed. “I’m so sorry.” She finished scrambling off the couch and didn’t stop until she was all the way across the room. Her hair stood up on one side of her head, and her face was pale and puffy. Ryan had a slight worry that the wrinkles in her dress would never come out, but in all her messy glory, he’d never seen a more beautiful sight.
And she was standing much too far away from him.
“I’m fine,” he groaned, shifting on the couch and pushing aside the covers they’d been using. He wished he had the right to tell her to come back so they could sleep longer, but she’d probably had woken up shocked to be his arms in the first place. “Did you get any sleep?” He rubbed his hands up and down his face, trying to wake himself up faster.
Brielle pushed her hands into her hair and grimaced when she seemed to hit a bunch of tangles. “I don’t know what’s going on here,” she whispered, looking pained. She shifted her weight, her eyes darting around the room as she seemed to be concentrating. Ultimately, it must have come rushing back because her jaw dropped, and her eyes went to the staircase before all the blood drained from her cheeks.
“Easy,” Ryan said, jumping to his feet and rushing to her side, but Brielle darted away from him. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“He’s gone,” she whispered hoarsely, her eyes still on the stairs. “He’s really gone.”
Ryan dropped his hands and nodded. “He is.” He watched her carefully for signs of another breakdown like last night, but Brielle didn’t look like she was going to give into the urge to cry again, though he wouldn’t have blamed her if she did. In fact, he would have used it as an excuse to hold her again, but she didn’t give him the option.
Her breathing was ragged, but it slowed quickly and Brielle straightened her shoulders. Teary, but determined eyes made their way to his. “You helped me.”
Ryan stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. “Not really. I just was there.”
Her skin flushed, and she dropped her eyes to the ground. “Thank you.” When she looked up from under her lashes, he had to fist his hands to keep from reaching for her. “I…didn’t deserve your help, but I’m grateful for it.”
He frowned. “What? Why wouldn’t you deserve it?”
Brielle closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. “Do you have anything I can take for a headache? Crying has never been good for me.”
Frustrated that the conversation he wanted to have was once again being denied him, Ryan clenched his teeth and marched to the kitchen. Grabbing a glass of water and a couple of pills, he came back, holding them out to her .
Once Brielle took them, he folded his arms over his chest and let his anger show. “I think we need to talk.”
She still didn’t meet his eye, but after a moment’s hesitation, Brielle nodded. “I know.”
“I’m going to take Sparky’s body to the clinic, then we’re going to grab breakfast and sit down,” he said. He knew he sounded bossy, but today, he was running with it. “And we’re going to get to the bottom of all this.”
Brielle sighed but didn’t argue with him, which was completely unexpected. Ryan had expected her to fight him on being a tyrant, but she was either too tired or still too heavy with grief. Neither was good, but right now they were proving quite helpful.