Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
R iley frowned when someone knocked on her door. She’d just gotten home from work and was looking forward to a quiet night at home. Tonight was Christmas Eve, and she was working an extra shift tomorrow so her employees could be with family.
An early bedtime had definitely been on the docket.
The knock came again, this time more insistent.
“Coming,” she called half-heartedly. Tightening her ponytail, she shuffled to the door and pulled it open. “Aspen?”
Aspen’s smile was a mile wide as she held up a stunning cake. “Merry Christmas!”
Riley smiled back and shook her head. “What are you doing?”
Without waiting for an invitation, she pushed past Riley. “You can’t come to us, so we came to you.”
“We?” Riley asked weakly.
“Hey, Ri!” Austin walked out of the dark, holding a casserole dish in one hand and Baby Tony in the other.
“Austin,” Riley said numbly, nodding as he went past.
“Merry Christmas, Ri!” Maeve offered with a wink.
“‘Sup, Ri?” Ethan followed his wife, also holding their child.
“You look beautiful,” Mama Harrison said, stepping up and cupping Riley’s face so she could kiss her cheek. Mama Harrison pulled back. “But tired. Are you getting enough sleep?”
“I’m doing the best I can,” Riley murmured, her face flushing as the rest of the Harrison clan made their way inside. Estelle was quickly followed by her husband Crew into the kitchen, each with more food in their arms.
With a smile, Mama Harrison dropped her hands and followed.
Stunned, Riley stood with her jaw slack, the door still wide open, until she heard a throat clear. Jumping, she bit back a squeal and swung around. “Antony,” she breathed, her heart threatening to jump out of her chest.
He looked so good. So. Good.
“Hey, Riley Roo,” he murmured, his eyes scanning her.
Heat immediately infused her cheeks, and Riley grabbed her ponytail, tugging on it hard.
The clinic had obviously done him good. His shoulders and chest had filled out larger than they’d been before he left for the military. His leg was strong and sturdy as he stood, and the double arm crutches looked comfortable in his hands.
His hair had finally been trimmed, and Riley was thrilled to see he’d left enough length on top to allow a small amount of curl to be visible.
Her fingers ached to touch just as much as her heart ached to reconnect.
She blinked, bringing herself under control. “I’m sure everyone is glad to have you home,” she said, hating the tremor in her voice. She stepped back. “Come on in.”
He hesitated, but followed orders. “Merry Christmas,” he said softly as he walked past her.
Riley nodded, not trusting her voice any more, especially now that a lump had taken residence in her throat. The idea of eating dinner with everyone made her want to throw up, but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The job offer sitting on her computer had never looked more appealing than at that moment.
Finally, she managed to force her feet to move, and she headed to the kitchen where everyone had congregated. “You didn’t need to do this,” she said softly, stuffing her hands in her back pockets and trying to smile.
“You’re family,” Aspen said cheerfully. “We don’t miss family at Christmas.”
Riley could feel Antony’s eyes on her, but she refused to look at him. A sharp pain was growing in her chest, and with each pulse of her heart, it grew stronger. She wasn’t going to make it.
“Oh my…” Maeve gasped, glancing at her watch. “Would you look at the time?”
Riley frowned.
Ethan leaned over his wife’s shoulder to see her watch as well, tsking loudly. “Geez. It’s already bedtime.” He grinned at Riley. “Oops.” Coming over, he kissed her cheek. “Merry Christmas, Ri! See you soon!”
Maeve gave Riley a quick squeeze and followed her husband.
“What?” Riley whispered as Estelle, Crew, Austin and Aspen all followed suit.
In under two minutes, the whole Harrison family had rushed in, then rushed out…but they’d left one important thing.
Okay…two important things.
Dinner.
And Antony.
Riley stood with her back to the kitchen and stared at her front door. “I’m so confused,” she muttered under her breath.
“They wanted to come along,” Antony said slowly.
“They came,” Riley said with an incredulous laugh. “And then they left.”
“They did.”
Riley slowly turned, her face heating back up again when she met Antony’s eyes .
Antony gave her a little smirk. “I didn’t bring my own car,” he offered.
Riley rubbed her forehead. “Do you…do you need me to drive you home?” She didn’t even want to explore why that question made her shake in her socks.
“I was hoping to eat dinner first.”
Her head snapped up. “What?”
Antony watched her for a moment, his eyes narrowed. “Riley, would you have Christmas dinner with me?”
She barked a laugh, then slapped her hands over her mouth. “You can’t mean that.”
“I do.”
Her eyebrows went straight up. “You don’t.”
Slowly, Antony walked toward her, his crutches making little squeaking noises on her hardwood. She almost stepped back when he invaded her space, but she forced her knees to lock and hold ground. When his nose came within an inch of hers, Riley was quickly regretting her decision.
“I do,” he said, his voice low and gravelly.
Riley swallowed hard.
They stared at each other for what felt like eternity before Antony moved. “Ah, Ri…” he rasped. His hand came up, the crutch dangling on his forearm. “I missed you so much.”
“You what?” she gasped. Her head was spinning, and she couldn’t seem to get a hold of what he was saying. He didn’t mean it…did he? He missed her? “I haven’t gone anywhere,” she managed to whisper.
Antony closed his eyes and dropped his forehead to hers. “I know,” he murmured. “You know why I couldn’t talk to you, right? You have to know.”
Riley’s eyes popped open, having closed in contentment at his touch. “You think I should know?” she snapped, her voice rising in volume. Careful not to push him over, she put her hands on his chest and firmly added pressure until he released her. “You hated me,” she accused. “You hated me. You left me behind, refused to say goodbye, and now you think I should know why?”
Riley had never felt so furious, but months and months of pretending and forcing happy thoughts had finally come to a head, and poor Antony was going to get the brunt of it.
He was in for it now, but Antony stayed still. He deserved her wrath, and he would take it, the same way Luca had taken Antony’s own anger. Then Antony would talk her down from the edge, and if Aspen and everyone else’s guesses were correct, Antony would take the biggest chance of his life.
“Do you even know what your face looked like when you left?” Riley cried, her face turning red. “I told Aspen…told her you would never speak to me again.” Riley scoffed, rolling her eyes and turning to walk away. “I was wrong, obviously, about the speaking part because you’re here right now. But still…I wasn’t wrong that you’d never forgive me.”
Riley grabbed her ponytail and turned to face him again. “You gave away my dog,” she said in a thick whisper. “You threw away my gifts You threw away all the time I spent trying to help, and you didn’t even have the decency to give me a verbal break up. Just the cold shoulder.”
Antony waited as she ranted, his mind formulating his rebuttal and how he would convince her she should forgive him. But then her voice changed.
Riley stopped shouting, and she began to sniffle, her watery eyes meeting his. “And it’s all my fault,” she stammered. “It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed, I shouldn’t have pressured you, I?—”
“Stop,” Antony demanded, storming her way until he’d backed her against the wall. “Stop,” he said in a softer tone. Her gaze jumped between his, and her brows pulled together. “None of this is your fault,” he said, his tone more coarse than he would have liked, but there was no helping it. Reaching up, he headed for the back of her head and tugged on her ponytail. “Ooh, sorry.” He shook his head when her head was tugged down. “I didn’t realize that would be so hard to pull out.”
She made a face, watching him warily, then reached up and did it herself. Like before, there was a dent in her hair, but he still loved it when it was down.
His fingers ran through it, watching the strands slip across his skin. “I got the second crutch,” he told her unnecessarily.
“I saw.” Her eyes were wide, like a frightened deer.
He grinned. “I move so much better this way. You were right.”
Riley didn’t respond.
“I also got a new wheelchair.” He couldn’t help smiling as he leaned in. “You should see how fast I can go now.” Tilting his head, he raised an eyebrow. “Want to see my chest now? According to my mom, I’m twice as big as I was.” He chuckled when she finally looked away, the redness of her face growing darker. “I even wear a helmet.”
Her eyes jerked back to his. “You do?”
“You were right again.” He couldn’t stop himself. Leaning in, kissed her forehead. Closing his eyes, he let the heat of her skin flood his system. How did he ever think he could just walk away? “Do you see where this is going?” He leaned back to look her in the eye again, just catching a soft look before she stiffened again. “Nothing about my behavior was your fault, sweetheart. It was mine. All mine. You were right about everything from the beginning.”
Leaning one arm against the wall, he leaned in, careful to watch his balance. The last thing he wanted to do was fall and take Riley down with him. “You were the only reason I started to snap out of it,” he told her, whispering directly in her ear. “You gave me a chance, even when I’d pushed the others away. You saw past my shouting and general jerkiness. You stayed when I wanted to retreat.” Antony nuzzled her neck. “You gave me hope, Riley. I didn’t think I’d ever have a chance, but you touched my scars. You called me handsome, and you blushed when my shirt was off.”
His lips brushed her ear. “You made me think I wasn’t a lost cause. But then I chose to get angry again. I was angry at the world already, but when you asked me to leave, I threw you in the mix.” He sighed and rested his head on her shoulder. “Riley, can you ever forgive me? Can you ever give us another chance? My time there was everything I needed. You were brave enough to let me go, something I’ll never forget.” He slowly moved his head back and forth, her hair brushing against his skin. “I don’t deserve it, I know. I was so messed up. My family was right. I was in so deep I didn’t even know I needed help.”
“Why didn’t you call?” she whispered. “Or text? If you forgave me, why didn’t you ever say anything?”
The raw pain in her voice made Antony’s stomach clench. “At first,” he said, “I was too mad. But as I worked with the people there, I started to see things differently.” He swallowed hard. “I started to see the truth,” he rasped. “And the more I saw, the more I realized how much help I needed and how grateful I was that you and my family worked so hard to give it to me.”
Riley started to shake. She was crying again. He hated that he couldn’t use both arms right now, but instead of getting angry, he sighed and straightened. “Come with me,” he told her.
Turning, he headed toward her couch. Sitting down, he moved his crutches to the side, then held out a hand in invitation. Riley had stopped in the threshold of the room and was watching him warily. “I’d like to hold you,” he said bluntly. “But the metal gets in the way.” A self deprecating smirk crossed his face. “Not to mention the balance can be a bit off.”
Slowly, she came in, the redness of her face gradually dissipating and sat on the edge of the couch.
Taking her hand, Antony entwined their fingers. He was hoping to hold her closer, but this was a start.
He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “So, to finish. At first I was too angry.”
Riley looked away.
“But then, it wasn’t anger.” He squeezed her hand until she looked back at him. “Then it was shame.”
Riley’s eyes widened.
“And eventually, it was resignation.” Antony blew out a breath and looked at their fingers, her slim ones next to his large hand. “I got better, and then I got more clear.” Another breath. “I told myself it was too late. That I’d hurt you too many times for you to forgive me. By that time I was so ashamed of my behavior that I couldn’t imagine asking your forgiveness. It felt wrong…selfish.”
Riley’s eyes widened.
“I was so grateful you loved me enough to let me go, and I wanted to love you enough to do the same.” Another squeak had Antony braving a look.
“You love me?” Riley gasped. “You thought I had to forgive you?”
“Don’t you?” Antony asked, bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it. “I know how I acted, Riley. I’ve been terrible.”
“You’ve been hurt,” she corrected, scooting a little closer. “I never held it against you.”
“And that’s part of what makes you so amazing,” he said with a laugh. “I’ve known you your whole life, and I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good thing,” she said with a self conscious laugh.
“Riley…” Antony cooed, using her hand to pull her forward. “Can you forgive me? Can you take me back?”
Riley’s free hand crept up his shoulder and played with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Truthfully?” she whispered. “I never let you go.”
“That’s all I needed to hear.” The waiting was over, and Antony brought five months worth of dreaming to life, only to quickly realize his imagination was a terrible substitute for the real thing.