Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
E stelle closed the door after Crew left that evening and leaned her forehead against it. Was she really going to go through with this? Pursue a relationship while in the middle of her father dying and her brother struggling?
Her brain was split in half, but her heart was pulling in only one direction.
Him.
Crew had somehow become important to her in the last week. And she was struggling with the idea of letting him go. She wasn’t in love with him…yet. But she knew it could easily go that way if left unchecked.
Her logical mind said it wasn’t safe. They lived in different places, and she was in the middle of the most stressful time of her life. But what if she let him go?
Estelle sighed and straightened from the door. If she let him go, she would spend the rest of her life regretting it. The idea of being able to pick this up later when it was more convenient didn’t sound plausible. What if it took a year? Two years? Or even three?
There was no way of knowing how long it would take Antony to get better, though her father wouldn’t last that long. In fact, at his rate of decline and with the beginnings of his breathing episodes, he probably wouldn’t last through the summer.
Her eyes automatically filled with tears at the thought, but she didn’t crumple like she used to. Funny thing. It was like her body and mind were already bracing for the impact, and that was scary.
The train wreck was almost here, and she was beginning to be numb to the thought. “He’s not gone yet,” she muttered, wiping at her face.
“He doesn’t have to be gone at all.”
Estelle spun and blew out a breath. “Mom. You startled me.”
Her mother stood, her face beaming despite Estelle’s elevated heart rate. “I’m so happy for you.”
Estelle paused and realized her mother had misinterpreted her words.
Slowly shaking her head, Emery came forward, arms stretched. “I’ve waited and prayed for so long. You’re so beautiful and kind and sweet…I knew there was someone special out there just for you.”
Estelle let her mother hug her, but she didn’t linger. “It’s not quite what you think, Mom,” she argued, after deciding not to correct the earlier assumption. “We’re…just testing the waters. I mean, he lives in California. I’m not really sure how that’s going to work, especially since I’m needed here with Dad and Antony. It’s not like I can just up and visit whenever I want.”
Her mother shrugged. “If it’s right, it’ll all work out.” Her smile grew. “And this one is right.”
Estelle laughed softly and shook her head. “Why do you say that? You barely know him.”
“Men don’t stick around day after day doing boring or tedious work just for fun,” Emery explained. “He’s here because of you.” Reaching up the couple of inches between them, Emery cupped her daughter’s face. “Anyone with half a brain would be here for you, and Crew is far from stupid.”
Estelle’s laugh was a little harsher this time. “Somehow, I doubt he’s the only one with a brain, Mom and I’ve been single for a long time. I’m not sure you’re really seeing me correctly.”
Her mother frowned. “I’m your mother. I see you better than anyone else.”
Estelle barely refrained from rolling her eyes and opened her mouth to argue but instead snapped it shut. What did it matter? Moms always thought their kids were great, but Estelle knew what she really was.
A fraud.
Everyone was looking to her to be the strong one, but instead she was weak. She was scared. She still wasn’t quite sure how she’d caught Crew’s eyes, but she was an utter mess both emotionally and physically, leaving her with very little wonder as to why it had taken so long for her to get any attention.
Most of the boys in their friend group growing up had teasingly called her “mom,” and Estelle knew from her own siblings that the phrase had fit. She had a tendency to be serious and to try to get others to obey instead of just living life and having fun.
It was part of why walking away from the dishes had been such a big deal for her. She had somehow ended up with an extra portion of a sense of duty. Antony had grown into one as well, which was why the military had been such a perfect fit for his career…until recently that is.
“You don’t have to be perfect to be lovable,” her mother interrupted Estelle’s thoughts.
Estelle shook her head. “I didn’t say I did.”
“But you act like you do.” Reaching out, Emery took Estelle’s hand and began to walk toward the kitchen. “Come on. Let me feed you.”
This time Estelle gave into the urge to roll her eyes. “I’m not five, Mom. A cookie and cocoa don’t fix all my problems any more.”
“Humor me.” Setting Estelle at the table, her mother bustled around the kitchen for a few minutes, grabbing some dough out of the freezer and eventually bringing a plate of warm cookies and two steaming mugs to the table. Wrapping her hands around the mug, Emery sniffed deeply. “I miss this.”
“Cocoa?” Estelle asked with a light smirk. She lifted her mug and took a sip burning her tongue. “Ouch.”
“As I recall, you burned yourself more often than not as a little girl too,” her mother said in an amused tone. “Which was funny since Aspen’s the impatient one.”
Estelle shrugged. “Maybe I just like sugar.”
“Also Aspen.”
Estelle laughed softly and set her mug down. “What do you miss, Mom?”
Her mother’s gaze grew distant. “Simplicity,” she said in a low tone. “I miss you all being little. Being together.” Her bottom lip quivered. “I miss your father being capable of joining us. I miss his voice. His touch.”
Estelle’s eyes filled in response. This conversation felt too intimate and sad to have over a dining table. Not to mention, it was odd to have it with her mother, as if it needed to be with someone her own age. “I’m sorry.” Was there really anything else to say?
Her mother reached across the table and rested her hand on Estelle’s. “None of this is your fault, sweetheart.” Her dark eyes turned and caught Estelle’s. “And none of it is your responsibility either…but I’m grateful you’re here. And I’m grateful that a man finally showed up to let you know how important you are.”
Estelle dropped her mom’s gaze.
“We wouldn’t have made it this far without you,” her mother whispered. “But we’re a family. You shouldn’t be taking this on by yourself and especially not to the point of ruining your own life.”
“You know I can’t walk away,” Estelle said hoarsely, her eyes on her mug.
Her mother squeezed before pulling back and gripping her own drink. “You don’t have to walk away,” she said. “You just need to let others join the walk.”
Crew splashed cold water on his face, then scrubbed it with a towel before staring at himself in the mirror. Before he could stop it, a face-splitting smile crossed his face. Chuckling and shaking his head at himself, he straightened and walked out of the tiny hall bathroom.
He missed his master bedroom back home, but after today with Estelle, he found himself willing to forgo just about anything if it meant more time with her.
He was pretty darn sure she had no idea just how appealing she was. She went about delivering good like an angel, but in her mind, she never seemed to be enough. She was always looking to help more, ease more pain, let others rest, and basically, run herself into the ground for the sake of someone else.
A noise down the stairs caught his attention, and Crew walked down before he thought better of it. He was exhausted, but still wide awake with adrenaline. His work at Estelle’s house was wearing on him as he hefted heavy things around the house, including both Mr. Harrison and Antony, as needed.
“What’re you doing up?” Crew asked, surprising Harper.
“Good heavens.” She took a minute to catch her breath and put a hand on her stomach. “Don’t do that!” She tilted her head. “Or wait…do that in like five months.”
“Don’t even think about it,” Mason growled in Crew’s ear, coming from behind him.
“Dude, for a sasquatch, you sure are quiet.”
Mason smirked as he sat next to his wife and immediately draped an arm across the back of her chair. “Did I scare you? Do you need your security blanket?”
Harper smacked her husband’s chest. “Knock it off.”
Mason grunted, and Crew grinned as he came up and sat across from them. “What’s all this?”
“Goodies for the party,” Harper explained, yawning as she tied another pink bow .
Crew frowned and glanced at Mason. “I thought you just fed them all cake, and that was that.”
Mason huffed and leaned back. “Apparently, girl parties are different.”
“Well, that stinks.”
Mason made a noise of agreement but grinned when Harper smacked him again. “You realize that doesn’t hurt, right?”
“Maybe not, but it gets your attention,” she muttered, keeping her eyes on her work.
“Only because I choose to let it,” Mason retorted.
“Which is why I’ll keep using it.”
Crew chuckled and folded his arms over his chest. “I’d offer to help, but somehow I think these fingers would be terrible at tying bows.”
“But they can fill cavities?” Mason gave him a disbelieving look. “Seems odd. Those girly fingers should be great at tying bows.”
“Girly hands?” Crew drawled. “Really?”
Mason shrugged his huge shoulders. “I just call it like I see it.”
“Yeah, well you carve animals out of huge logs. That takes a certain level of finesse as well. Why don’t you help?”
Mason raised a challenging eyebrow, and Crew was just about to answer the call when Harper smacked her husband again.
Crew began to laugh but grimaced when a shoe hit his shin. “Geez, Harper. What are you wearing? Steel toed boots?”
“I will be next time we’re sitting around having such a stimulating conversation,” she offered sweetly.
“Come on, Sasquatch,” Crew teased. “Control your woman.”
“Control her?” Mason snorted as Harper squeaked in outrage. “You control yours first, and I’ll follow suit.” He caught Harper’s hand this time, putting a kiss on her palm.
“I’d have to have a woman to be able to control her,” Crew said, tilting back in his chair and lacing his fingers behind his head. He wasn’t quite ready to tell them about his progress with Estelle, though it wasn’t his family who didn't know where he spent his days .
Harper turned her attention to Crew. “While I don’t like the vocabulary you’re using, there are several rumors running around.”
It was Mason’s turn to chuckle. “We live in a small town, hon. There’s always rumors.”
“These ones include Crew.”
Crew scowled and his chair thudded to the floor. “Great. I’ve always wanted to be part of the gossip chain.” Harper grinned, but didn’t say more. “Alright, I give. What are they saying?”
“Nothing too crazy,” Harper said airily, going back to her work. “But a few of the older ladies worry that you’re taking advantage of her sweet nature.”
Crew grunted and shifted in his seat. “I’d never do that.”
Harper stopped her tying and gave him a small smile. “We know.”
“Do we?” Mason didn’t bother trying to block the hit this time. “But seriously,” he said, his tone low and less playful. “Stelle’s great. Don’t hurt her.”
“I would never.”
Mason’s eyebrows shot up, and Crew wanted to shrink a little at how vehement the words had come out. He hadn’t meant to show quite so much of his hand. The thing was, he was falling harder and faster than he could have ever suspected. His intent had been to help when he saw a need and to get to know her, but it was becoming so much more than that.
He could still feel her against his chest, her hair tickling his chin, the softness of her lips…he shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. Now was neither the time nor place to be daydreaming about her, but from the knowing smirk on Mason’s face, it was too late.
“How’s Mr. Harrison?”
Bless Harper. She was almost as much of a saint as Estelle.
“He’s…declining.” There was nothing to say but the truth, but the words were like shattered glass on his tongue. Estelle had told Crew so many stories over the past week, and it sounded like her father had be en one of a kind. The hole he would leave was going to be hard to fill, but Crew had every intention of being around to try.
Estelle was going to break when he was gone and no one in her family would be in a position to help keep her together. It was a good thing he wanted the job, though he wasn’t ready to bring that up with Estelle yet.
The situation was inevitable, but that didn’t mean he had to poke at it.
Harper’s face fell, and Mason put his arm around his wife, pulling her into his side with a quick kiss on her head. “It’s so hard to watch him go,” she whispered.
“I know,” Mason responded, his hand rubbing up and down her arm. “I know.”
Harper’s glassy eyes met Crew’s. “You really plan on sticking around for her?”
Crew scowled.
Harper put a hand. “I know. You’ve said, but this is uncharted territory for all of us. We’d help more, but Estelle’s been…possessive? That might be the best way to put it. She takes everything on herself and even her sisters can barely get in there to do their part. Aspen would really like to do more, but Estelle puts her off. I’m pretty sure Maeve’s been the same way.”
Crew rubbed a hand over the back of his head. “I know and I’ve tried to help her walk away a few times, but it’s hard.” He leaned forward, folding his hands together. “I think it’s oldest-child syndrome. She feels responsible.”
Mason huffed. “She’s gonna run herself into the ground if she continues.”
“She already has. I’ve watched her crumble and lift herself back up within a matter of minutes.”
Harper’s eyes widened. “And what will you do when it happens for more than a few minutes?”
Crew worked his jaw, trying to find the right words to explain but still keep some privacy. Finally, he shrugged and offered the only truth he could. “I’ll be here.”