Chapter 5
Maggie stands in the back of the bookstore, watching Estelle. Bryce snags a seat up at the front. Estelle is laughing, midconversation, then stops when she sees Bryce.
“Bryce!” she says, smiling. “So good of you to come!” She explains to the room, “One of our festival volunteers and a star in our MFA program, folks! I recently had the honor of reading his unpublished manuscript.”
Maggie feels a prick of jealousy. She tugs her denim jacket tighter.
“Tell us, Bryce,” the bookstore manager says. “How is Estelle as a teacher?”
Her heart lurches.
“Be honest, now,” Estelle teases.
Maggie imagines Bryce hitting her with She’d be a lot better if she wasn’t threatened by my sexy girlfriend and her writing! She pictures Estelle’s wine spilling from her hand. Bryce and her running out the door, laughing. Tearing their clothes off each other back to her place. Her cheeks flush.
“I think your feedback is…mercilessly devastating,” Bryce says.
Maggie looks over at Bryce. Nice phrasing.
“Why, thank you.” Estelle laughs. She turns to the bookstore manager. The next thing Maggie knows, the bookstore manager is offering Bryce her seat in the spotlight.
What is happening?
She watches as Bryce takes the seat next to Estelle.
“Feels weird being up here,” he says.
“Get used to it,” Estelle says, patting him on the shoulder. “You’ll be doing this solo soon enough!”
Maggie gazes at Estelle’s hand lingering on Bryce’s shoulder. WTF? Why is she touching Maggie’s boyfriend?
“I don’t know,” Bryce says. “The idea of talking about my most intimate words in front of strangers—I don’t know if I can get over feeling so exposed.”
You’ll get over it. Maggie rolls her eyes. Unbelievable. He dragged her here so she could say her two cents to Estelle, and now he’s up there as her interviewer?
“It is a naked experience,” Estelle agrees.
“Like you’ve skipped sex and gone straight to the breakfast afterward,” Bryce says.
OMG. Are they…flirting?
“Well, as you know, good writing is its own ecstasy. When a word moves another person deep in their soul, I would argue it’s more profound than a bodily experience,” Estelle says.
“I dunno…I’ve had some pretty profound bodily experiences.” Bryce grins at the crowd. “In fact, my girlfriend is actually in the back.”
Fuuuuck.
Bryce points at her. The whole room turns. Maggie waves awkwardly, like she’s the cheap date of some congressman. She locks eyes with Estelle, waiting for her to recognize her.
But there is no flicker of recognition. No smile. No flinch of regret. Estelle’s eyes float right by her. It’s like she doesn’t exist.
“What’s amazing about the different kind of intimate relationships we can have,” Estelle continues, “is they simultaneously fill us up and take from us. And it’s only when you’re older that you realize this.”
Now! Pounce on that! But Bryce is too distracted by the stack of books on the coffee table, so Maggie thrusts her own hand up.
“Sorry, we’ll be taking questions at the end,” the bookstore manager says, gesturing for her to put her hand down.
“If there’s time,” Estelle adds.
That’s when Maggie realizes Estelle has no intention of giving her the time of day. And why would she? She’s practically eye-fucking her boyfriend.
Maggie turns and slips out of the bookstore.
—
It takes Bryce hours to get back. By the time he finally appears at Maggie’s apartment, she’s already had dinner, a microwaved lasagna—which she washed down with an opened bottle of wine from a week ago; she couldn’t tell which tasted worse—and gone on Goodreads and read every bad review of Estelle’s new book. Twice.
“Had to bring up breakfast after sex with her, did you?” she asks. Bryce reaches for her, trying to pull open her robe, but she clenches it at the neck.
“C’mon, baby, don’t be mad,” he says. He starts undressing. “I was just trying to be funny. To play the part!”
“But you forgot my part! You were so drunk on the attention of being up there, you completely forgot why we were there! She hurt me!”
“I know, and I’m sorry,” Bryce says, taking off his shirt.
His body looks so good bathed in the moonlight.
Maggie glances at his lips. He reaches for her again, this time pulling the robe off her.
He pulls her toward him, brushing her neck with his lips.
It feels so good, but still, she wants him to work for it.
To beg for it. “Why didn’t you stick around so we could ask her together? ”
“After you spent hours flirting with her?” Maggie asks, giving him a look.
“I wasn’t flirting,” Bryce insists. As if to prove she’s got nothing to worry about, he takes her hand and lowers it.
Maggie grips his erection. He groans. Then she snatches her hand away.
“What about you? Where did you disappear off to?” He sits down on a chair.
“I went around the corner…to a bar…” Maggie lies, her voice a notch above a whisper. It’s a game they play. Tonight she’s going to draw it out for as long as possible to make him pay.
“Yeah?” he mutters, encouraging her. He pulls her to him. She sits on his lap. She can tell this little fantasy’s making him rock-hard. “And what did you do at this bar?”
He starts gently kissing her.
“I met this guy. A musician.” Maggie closes her eyes as his hands play with her breasts.
“He said you were a loser for leaving me to go flirt with an old hack onstage.”
Bryce tries to lift her hips and move her to the bed, but she hooks her ankles around the chair legs. “Said if I were his, he’d never leave my sight. We’d be in a hotel somewhere, fucking…”
He slips a finger between her thighs.
“And did he?” he asks, his eyes dark and brooding. “Take you to a hotel and fuck you?”
“Yes,” she says. Bryce grabs her hand and moves her to the bed. He bends her over. He groans as he enters her. Maggie clutches the sheets, her body still trembling as Bryce thrusts.
“Slow down,” Maggie tells Bryce.
But Bryce keeps going. Harder. Deeper. Maggie spins around. “Hey…” she says. “I said slow down. Look at me.”
As their gazes meet, all of a sudden, Bryce crumbles. Collapses next to her on the bed. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
“What’s wrong?” Maggie asks, suddenly so embarrassed. Did she take it too far with the stranger fantasy? Should she not have taunted him?
Bryce throws a sheet over himself, turning away from her.
Maggie tries to touch him, but he curls up tighter.
All sorts of horrifying thoughts are racing through Maggie’s mind: he finds her repulsive.
He can’t get hard anymore. He actually thinks she went to a bar and picked up a stranger—which would be revolting.
But not as revolting as what happens next.
“Don’t look at me.” Bryce’s voice quivers.
“What did you do?” Maggie asks.
“It was stupid. I felt so bad. I was going to tell you. I had a thing. With Estelle.”
The blood freezes in Maggie. She jumps off the bed and screams.