Chapter Forty-Eight
Avari
Balancing family tension with my own stubborn opinions and impulses proved as exhausting as it was necessary.
Recently, it seemed that regardless of what happened, somebody ended up resentful or hurt.
And though I was slowly getting used to the turmoil, I hated standing on the hilt side of the blade that sliced through Alec’s heart.
The hurt in his eyes was palpable. He despised the allusion that they’d kidnapped me to the shadow isles.
Yet as much as I tried to attach reasoning to their actions, it remained what it was: a kidnapping.
We never had a conversation about their preference for my move, nor did they ever inform me who they were before Alec snatched me away from the only place I’d started to view as a sanctuary at the time.
No matter how many excuses they made, no one ever asked what I wanted.
If there was one thing I’d learnt over the past few weeks, it was that if I didn’t prioritise my mental wellness, nobody else would either.
And though it would be hard, with a long road ahead—and likely the help of a seasoned therapist—it was as if a weight started to lift off my shoulders when I realised I wasn’t responsible for other people’s feelings.
I would always try my best to minimise the chance of offending anybody, but I was starting to understand that hiding myself behind false pleasantries wreaked more havoc than good.
And so, I would speak to Alec. I would confront him and force him to see my side of the story because I would not let anyone belittle my struggles and traumas anymore.
I hesitated at the door before knocking, waiting for a response. The silence stretched long enough for second thoughts to creep in.
‘Come in,’ his withdrawn tone vexed me a little as I pushed on the handle and walked in. He was lying on his bed, arms crossed deliberately. I had no doubt it was his way of showing me he was still mad.
‘I think we need to talk,’ I announced seriously, the warmth that usually enriched my voice gone at his display of callousness.
Surprise flashed in his eyes as he sat up and assessed me. ‘About your overwhelming gratitude for bringing you home?’
‘About your conviction that ripping me away in a cloud of your shadows could ever be defined as bringing me home,’ I said, articulating my pent-up resentment. My voice shook from fury held too long. ‘You did not bring me here, Alec. You kidnapped me, and it’s time you face the truth.’
His eyes downturned as he paused, slouching. ‘But we’re your family…’
I sat on the bed, leaving two feet of distance between us for comfort. ‘We are family. But you can’t keep ignoring that what you did wasn’t right. And I know it wasn’t just you; I know that father sent you to get me, but it doesn’t change the fact that none of you included me in that decision.’
Alec looked ahead, unsure what to say. ‘Would you rather go back to him?’
The question hit harder than I expected, cutting through my anger like ice. ‘He pawned me off.’
‘It doesn’t answer my question. And we both know it wasn’t that simple.’
‘Are you seriously defending him?’
Alec straightened, looking conflicted. ‘No. But there isn’t much I wouldn’t do if Miriam or you were cursed.’ It warmed my heart that he thought of me so fondly, that so quickly he’d started regarding me as family. ‘Besides, he didn’t even know you when he sold you.’
He was right; I never looked at it that way. But it changed nothing. ‘It speaks to who he is as a person. I could never be with somebody I couldn’t trust.’
‘So you’re admitting that there’s something going on between you two…’
‘Oh, please,’ I said, slapping his shoulder. ‘You’ve seen us in the woods and his office. Did that look innocent?’
‘Ava, honey, I think you’re the only one innocent enough not to see it as innocent,’ he joked, wiggling his brows.
It made me laugh. I was inexperienced, and I knew that. I had never met anyone I wanted to learn and explore like I craved River. ‘You’re a necromancer, right?’
Eyeing me suspiciously, he nodded.
‘I found my snake in his forest. Can you ask my little scarf what he was doing there?’
‘I’m trying hard not to be appalled at your lack of understanding of basic shadow powers. Didn’t Miriam show you her library? There’s a lot of material for you to study there,’ Alec scolded me before smirking. ‘But I do know a thing or two about that forest.’
‘I take it you don’t speak to strays then?’ His glare signalled refusal. ‘Okay, tell me about the forest.’
‘It’s my biggest success. Nearly cost me my life, but isn’t it just glorious.
’ Awe prevailed on his face as he spoke.
‘I told you I was friends with your king. Well, every time we stayed at the castle, that cemetery in the middle kept enticing me. As young and easily seduced as I was, one night I sneaked out to give some of the spirit shadow forms. But I didn’t control my powers as well as I do now, and they started to pull me under.
Everything in that forest wanted a body.
The souls were competing for a shred of my shadows from every angle.
They nearly stripped me bare, actually. Your little friend is one of my strays. Though he obviously prefers you.’ Alec raised his hand to pet the snake around my shoulders. ‘I have a shelter for them, you know?’
‘You have a shelter for shadow strays?’ The thought was so unexpectedly sweet it made me smile.
‘Well, we have more shadow strays on the Isles than alive ones,’ he defended himself.
‘Can you take me there one day?’
‘Let’s go now,’ he said, covering us in darkness.