Chapter Six
River
She landed in my court, and the ground beneath my feet seemed to shift. The weeks without any knowledge of her whereabouts or condition had been the worst of my life.
Every night I dreamt of the ways Alexander could have been torturing—or seducing—her. Touching the parts of her that should only be mine to explore and cherish.
Learning that he was her brother was a relief, even if it complicated the situation further. Still, I couldn’t resent the fact she had found relatives.
Avari had a family. A real family who appeared to care for her the way her witch one never had. I found some solace in knowing that every wrong choice I’d made had brought my mate closer to her kin, even if it meant she hated me.
We were fated for each other. Her resentment had to be temporary… right?
Even though I knew the answer, over the last fortnight I had become a master at deluding myself.
I poured another whisky and stared at the map spread across my desk.
This kind of betrayal… I had been so blinded by hatred that I never recognised her. Her very scent should have told me who she was—who she could become. Instead, I accused her of cursing me.
I attempted to kill my mate.
The fact that I ever laid hands on her would haunt me until the end of my days. Until my last breath, I would fight to atone for it.
She nearly died so many times in my care… Whether it was my fault or her mother’s curse didn’t matter. Ava deserved better. She deserved safety, stability, and devotion.
I traced the edge of a document with my finger.
She deserved someone better. Stronger. Kinder. What she deserved wasn’t me, but fate had paired us for a reason. I felt her fire thrashing beneath her skin, trying to reach mine. I felt her relax beneath my touch and calm down, surrounded by my power.
She might not have wanted me. I understood that. But she responded to me and needed me as much as I needed her. Even if it made me a selfish prick, I would fight for a chance at redemption with everything I had. Hopefully, I still had that chance.
The moment I approached her, my heart broke. No one else seemed to notice how rigidly she held her shoulders and how exhausted she looked.
Then frustration threatened to scorch me alive for an entirely different reason... My mate smelled of another man. The scent clung faintly to her hair.
Flames stirred to life beneath my skin. It disgusted me. If the man who left that scent stood before me now…
I would relish his pain.
Some dark, twisted part of me wanted to find him and make him pay for touching my mate. Every part of my body screamed to keep her in Fogoya at all costs—to keep her close so I could protect her and keep her mine.
The scraps of logic remaining in my mind fought against these instincts, knowing it would only drive her further away.
Reining them in wasn’t easy. It was a constant battle I was fairly certain I could lose at any point.
Fae women had been raised aware of how possessive their mates could become.
They knew how to handle it and grew up expecting it.
But my little witch hadn’t been raised around mates at all. She knew harems.
Would I ever be enough for her?
As much as I hated the mere thought, she must have found somebody she liked in her father’s land. I couldn’t blame her. But even if she wanted to fuck me out of her system, I wouldn’t let her. I wouldn’t go easily.
One thing was certain. I wouldn’t stop. Not until every cell in my body stopped working.
She was my perfect match and the other half of my soul. This was just a hurdle. All it meant was that I had to try harder to show her I wasn’t a monster—and that we belonged together.
Blaze sauntered into my office, smelling of tears, sweat, and wine. ‘Are you still moping?’
The tears must have been from the recent reunion with our mother. The others I didn’t care to contemplate. Ever since he stopped feeling murderous toward Emily, they were rarely apart except when caring for Isla.
I couldn’t blame them, even if I’d decided to move the floor because of the noise. Their contentment reminded me how badly I had ruined my chance at happiness.
Pushing a stack of reports aside, I glanced at my older brother. ‘It’s called thinking. Try it sometimes before you speak.’
As broad-shouldered as he was, he barely fit in the small chair across from me. ‘Did I hit a nerve?’
Releasing a sigh, I downed the remainder of my whisky before speaking. ‘Don’t you have Emily to bother?’
‘She’s at work, so I need someone else to pester. What a colossal fuck-up, no?’
I held his gaze. ‘What exactly are you referring to?’
‘The little vixen,’ he smirked. ‘Your little mate?’
I saw red. ‘Don’t call her that.’
‘Which one?’ he asked, clueless. ‘She smelled of you when she found me, you know? I thought she was just a hook-up until I realised she knew your name. How cruel is fate to pair a fire fae with a witch?’
Blaze looked genuinely perplexed, but I couldn’t stop the anger rising at his words. ‘I don’t care that she’s a witch. Besides, she’s part fire fae as well.’
‘It doesn’t bother you at all? Her people tortured and cursed ours—’
My fist slammed against the desk, making everything rattle. ‘They harmed and nearly killed her too. Her own mother cursed her to die. It took me two days to heal her; she was completely depleted.’
A frown overtook his face. Whether it was the way I screamed or how hot the room had grown, I neither knew nor cared.
‘I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.’ He cleared his throat, averting his gaze for a moment as something like shame spread across his face. ‘She looked done with your ass. How are you going to get her back?’
Looking ahead, stuck in my thoughts and worries, I racked my brain for a plan. ‘I don’t know. It helps that we have to search for the Crones together. It gives me a chance to show her I care.’
Blaze cringed before inspecting his chipped bright pink nails. ‘That’s it?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, that's a great fuck-up. You traded her. It seems some serious grovelling would be necessary. I know for a fact Emily would hang me by my balls for that…’
‘You think I don’t fucking know that?’
Then he paused and looked away, scratching his beard as though something was actually bothering him. As though he wasn’t sure whether to continue the conversation. ‘Why did you even do that?’ he asked, his voice quieter.
I stared into his eyes, trying to figure out where our parents went wrong with him. ‘Are you serious?’
‘I’m struggling to believe you didn’t have any idea who she was to you. How delusional were you?’
Heat built in my chest, the room growing warmer by the second. I took a calming breath before I did something else I regretted. ‘You’re really making me want to punch you, Blaze.’
An infuriating chuckle escaped him as he started rocking in his chair. ‘Tell me something I don’t know. Why?’
Moments like this made me understand why Ava hated my tendency to analyse her behaviour. It felt invasive.
‘What are you getting at?’ I asked. ‘I don’t have time for your mind games.’
He swung faster, then stopped abruptly. ‘Were you scared?’
‘Of?’
‘Having a mate. Or a mate who’s a witch,’ he said like it made any difference. ‘What it would mean…’
‘My instincts had been wrong before so I couldn’t exactly rely on that; besides, the chance that she was mine was so slim—‘
My brother smirked. ‘Ah, so you admit you had suspicions.’
It appeared he wanted to emphasise how much of an asshole I had been. ‘Blaze, are you trying to make me feel like shit on purpose?’
‘No.’ Using his pinky as a lighter, he lit a cigar and sent a puff of smoke my way. ‘Just trying to make you give it some thought.’
In retaliation, I sent a cloud of flame his way that charred the tips of his eyebrows. ‘And you think I haven’t done that?’
The miserable dickhead chuckled, touching the singed hairs. ‘I think you still haven’t dug deep enough to know why you did what you did besides attempting to save me.’
‘Go on,’ I said, getting back to reading the research I had found recently. Maybe if I ignored him, he’d finally let me be.
‘Thing is, I don’t know if I should say it,’ he admitted.
Ominous.
I met his judgemental gaze with one of my own. ‘You started the conversation; now finish it.’
Blaze cleared his throat and paused. ‘Well, you have an obvious fear of commitment, but that’s not the real reason and we both know it because deep down you craved it for decades.’
He snatched my glass and sipped on my liquor before I took it back. ‘If you analyse your patterns over the last fifty years, I think you’ll realise you’ve been searching for her even when you didn’t know it.’
‘I wasn’t searching for a mate.' My tone signalled the end of discussion. ‘I was blowing off steam with women that liked to have fun. It’s different.’
‘And I see it differently,’ he argued.
It was my turn to chuckle. ‘You always do. Finish your thought; I have a feeling there is more where it came from.’
The fact he piqued my interest entertained him, though he tried to keep a straight face. ‘Nope. You’re not ready for what I have to say next.’
I dropped the papers and leaned back. ‘Excuse me?’
‘I’ll tell you when it’s time.’
‘Blaze, you’re really starting to piss me off,’ I shot back, barely controlling myself. ‘Say what you wanted to say, or I swear to Gods—‘
‘Maybe you traded her because you were afraid she’d shift your priorities,’ he blurted.
The words echoed in my head longer than they should have. ‘What?’
He leaned in and lowered his voice as though it were a secret and we couldn’t let anyone overhear. ‘Your whole life revolves around Fogoya. A mate changes that.’
My head shook before I consciously decided to answer. ‘I… no.’
‘Nothing would ever be the same; even winning the war wouldn’t feel as much of an accomplishment because you’d decimate a part of her. Give it some thought. If you want to win her over, you have to understand what you did first, brother.’
My legs twitched beneath the table as I felt the need to leave and get some fresh air. I stood and moved to the window. Cracking it open, I hoped the breeze could cool me down. ‘Even if her origins complicate the situation, Ava supports Fogoya. She knows Ortensians wrong us.’
Blaze's gaze travelled outside, taking in the forest and clear sky as I had seen him do so many times now. His chest expanded as though whatever weighed on him had become too much to bear.
‘But they’re her people, nonetheless,’ he doubled down. ‘What would you do if Ortensians stopped attacking?’
‘That’s a stretch. It’s only been peaceful for a couple of days.’
Like he wanted to annoy me more, he followed, standing a few feet away by a bookshelf. ‘If it stays peaceful, what does that mean for you?’
‘I just want the bloodshed to end,’ I shared, a little worried about what he would think. ‘That’s what I always wanted.’
Blaze smiled. ‘Not long ago your answer would have been different. I like this slightly more boring version of you.’
‘It’s like you get off on insulting me,’ I seethed, releasing a long sigh as I tried to rein in my fire, which demanded to teach him a lesson like when we were younger.
His laughter filled the space between us. ‘Nah, I’ve had enough of getting off for a lifetime now.’
I glared at him. ‘Trust me, the court knows.’
‘Don’t get pissy because you’re not getting any,’ he teased, wiggling his brows.
That was it. I had enough. ‘Why don’t you get back to Emily before I assign you somewhere else?’
‘Got it, tyrant. But before I go, I will help you because you’re hopeless.’ The idiot winked. ‘The answer is flowers.’
‘The answer to what?’
‘To this. She’s a witch. She likes nature. Try it.’
‘Thank you for your infinite wisdom, Blaze, but you’ve been mated ever since you came of age,’ I replied, tired of him. ‘You’re not exactly a walking encyclopaedia on women since you’ve only been with one.’
My brother scoffed. ‘Do you honestly think your flings taught you more than a mate bond?’
‘Not what I said. But you haven’t courted many women.’
A sharp huff left him. ‘And you have?’
No. I never had to try. Women had thrown themselves at me my entire life.
Biting my tongue, I ignored his loud chortle. Instead, I glared until the infuriating sound finally died out.
‘This chase doesn’t stop once you mate her, you know that, right?’ he continued, looking smug.
I forced myself to remain calm. ‘Your point being?’
‘I’m not trying to make a point,’ Blaze said slowly. ‘Just trying to help.’
Having him back was great, but the man had a talent for irritating me. ‘A minute ago you questioned my decision to mate a witch. Now you’re trying to help?’
‘I don’t trust them. You can’t blame me for that. But I don’t begrudge your witch for what happened to me.’
‘She’s a halfling,’ I corrected him again before returning to my seat and research.
There were too many places to search for the Crones and nowhere near enough time.
‘I’ll leave you to it then.’
Blaze shut the door behind him.
The distance between Ava and me was affecting me in ways I couldn’t foresee. I never meant to be harsh with my family. Yet, every time they questioned my decisions, stress, and disappointment twisted into irritation.
I was lost. I didn’t need the reminder.
My mother had just returned from fate knew where after a decade away, and still, she couldn’t hide her disappointment in what I had done.
‘How could you?’ she asked, her large eyes filled with tears.
Her expression betrayed the disgust she felt toward my actions. I couldn’t blame her. What I had done went against everything she had ever taught me.
My life was war. I could only hope my love life wouldn’t become one.
Pouring myself another whisky, I eventually moved toward the vast map I had been analysing for weeks.
The journey across my kingdom to find the prophesied destination would not be easy. I hadn’t lied when I warned Ava of the dangers in my lands.
Some beasts were too wild to ever recognise me as their king. And if she travelled with anyone else, I wasn’t certain I could keep myself from losing my mind.
With me, she was safe. My fire would burn anything that threatened her. I just didn’t know if the nature-loving, gentle girl could ever accept that ruthless part of me.