Chapter Nine
Avari
Making my way to the meadow, I spotted Isaac’s silhouette from a distance. Tall, broad, and devastatingly well-trained, he was a clear testament to self-discipline. His neck craned toward the cloudy sky, and when I reached the top of the hill, I couldn’t contain my smile.
Anya flew with the Shadow Dragon in circles above the long stretch of meadows. At times, they would allow themselves to fall—their wings neatly slicked back—only to bounce back near the ground and soar in the skies once again.
Their deafening wings clapped against the wind like a furious storm, threatening to destroy everything in its path. But they never would. They carried themselves as if they had known each other for an eternity, following each other’s trail and manoeuvres with vigour and precision.
Perhaps that’s how well dragons coexisted. Or maybe they got along as individuals. Whatever the reason, I glanced at the dimmed sun and muttered a quick prayer of gratitude to the Gods for allowing me this sliver of peace.
‘Hi there,’ Isaac said, beginning to smile, but it never reached his eyes. ‘What’s wrong?’
My thoughts scattered as I stood a couple of feet behind him. ‘What are you talking about?’
A flicker of irritation crossed his face as he sniffed. ‘You look tired. And you smell of gore and… never mind. Did something happen?’
My hand rushed to my hair; the scent must have clung to it. With how tired I was, washing it felt like an impossible task. ‘You can still smell that? Seriously, your senses are insane. That was two days ago.’
There was an unnatural stillness in his posture, his ripped biceps flexing as he held his arms close to his sides.
His cool, steady gaze held me in place, the quiet resolve behind it making it difficult to look away.
It wasn’t fear that stilled me. There was something else in it—something grounding, almost reassuring.
He might have been a predator in sheep’s clothing, but there was a strange comfort in knowing he cared whether I lived.
Miriam had chosen the right trainer for me after all.
‘My senses are sharper. I was in the military.’ Something in him hardened. ‘Why do you smell like a battlefield, Ava?’
The intrusive weight of his stare made me flinch. He wasn’t waiting for an explanation. His calculating gaze swept over me, drawing conclusions of its own.
A deep sign tore out of me. Situations like this always stole my breath. ‘It’s a long story. We should just focus on training. I need my shadows.’
My plea only deepened his concern. ‘Tell me,’ he demanded, stepping closer. ‘Are you in danger?’
Internally, I smiled. Outwardly, I couldn’t look him in the eye and admit to the chaos my life had become because giving these deeply disturbing ideas a voice felt so… final.
Tension coiled in his posture as he awaited my answer. I considered turning back and reverting home, but I couldn’t. I needed his help. I had a sneaking suspicion he wouldn’t have let me leave either.
‘When have I ever not been in danger?’ I joked, attempting to ease the atmosphere, and his frown worsened. ‘It’s fine, I survive. It’s kind of my thing. I’m going for Medeis’ record of how many times I can cheat death.’
What was wrong with him? He looked so restless. ‘It’s not a big de—’
‘What happened?’ The question landed like a command.
My subconscious urged me to step back, but I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. ‘Honestly, it would take hours to explain, and you’re a busy man. Let’s just train.’
Glaring deep into my eyes, I half expected him to challenge me to a duel.
He watched me for a moment, then he pulled out his phone. ‘Clear my schedule,’ he barked, before pocketing it.
Well, shit. I didn’t expect that. Were we really doing this?
Getting even closer, he left no room for negotiation. ‘Speak.’
It wasn’t an easy conversation. Not when I spoke of how cruel my mother had been as a queen, deliberately omitting the abuse she’d inflicted on me.
The memories still twisted my gut with shame.
I should have fought back more… But over the years, I’d grown so passive I’d forgotten I even had a reason to.
To fight for myself. It was shameful to admit, and I didn't think I ever would. Not to anyone.
And it wasn’t easy to describe what a threat the blood witches still were, or how they continued to plague Medeis.
I had never lived through the blood witch war, but we had all studied it in school.
They rebelled against our virtues, ignored ethics and ideals, and chose whatever they found most satisfying—anything that allowed them to grow in strength, so quickly the kingdoms never had a chance to catch up, as they siphoned power from civilians for their nefarious ends.
The hairs on my arms rose as I recalled the history books describing how close the kingdoms had come to extinction. Millions of witches, fae, shifters, and lesser magical folk were nearly wiped out by a single race consumed by greed.
Isaac’s face twitched when I told him. I felt the same. The mere thought gave me palpitations.
Forcing my mind to revisit the events from the Ortensian court two days ago was difficult. Many times I had to take breaks, and the sight of cheerful Anya lessened the burden settling in my heart.
From the serious look on his face and the way he kept analysing me, as though it were too much for me to handle, it was obvious he, like everyone else, assumed I was weak.
They could believe what they wanted. They didn’t know half of what I had survived.
I was strong in my own way. Maybe I didn’t know that before because people had twisted the notion of strength into unlimited power and indestructibility.
But I had been beaten, destroyed, and humiliated, yet I was still standing. I was still fighting.
Strength was the persistence to keep fighting for what was right, and I grew stronger every damn day.
‘Why would she kill them? It was her court,’ Isaac asked, trying to understand my mother’s motives.
Monsters couldn’t be understood. I learnt my lesson a long time ago. ‘The Queen of Ortensia is a blood witch, too.’
‘What?’ He froze, his ice-blue eyes widening. ‘How do you know that?’
Admitting to her wrongdoings wasn’t the hard part. Admitting I hadn’t realised some of her sins until it was too late, that was the thing that wrecked me.
My cheeks flushed, and he never looked away. ‘She admitted to draining my powers. That’s why I can’t access shadows. She only left me with a crumb.’
A muscle jumped in his cheek, a flash of hurt in his eyes so fleeting I nearly missed it. He sighed, then seemed to pull himself together. ‘A crumb? Does that mean you feel it now?’
‘Yes. But it’s minuscule—’
A radiant grin spread across his face, brightening his features. ‘Doesn’t matter, I can work with that.’
The joy was infectious, though recent events had muted it. The softness in his gaze didn’t go unnoticed. For someone so used to harshness it must have required real effort.
He caught me staring and smirked. Heat flared in my cheeks, and I quickly looked away. ‘I don’t think you realise how small it is. It’s downright shameful.’
A hand covered in swirling shadows reached out and hovered close enough for me to reach it. ‘Show me.’
‘As in… you want me to…?' I gestured to his outstretched hand and felt the flush spread down my neck.
Blood pooled under the skin of my chest as I tried hard not to hyperventilate. He couldn’t really mean that, could he?
‘Connect?’ he asked slowly, as if realising I might get spooked. ‘Yeah. How did you think this whole training was going to continue otherwise?’
Right. It wasn’t his fault; he couldn’t have known I had only been trained once in my life, and it had been recent, with my mate.
It felt so weird to call him that. He wasn’t my anything. Not anymore.
Isaac noted my apprehension and looked confused. ‘I won’t wander around if that’s what you’re afraid of. You can draw it out.’
Bless his soul, he assumed I could control it. ‘It doesn’t listen to me.’
His eyes sharpened and he fought off a smirk, but his mouth settled into an odd, stubborn pout instead.
‘Is something funny?’ I asked through clenched teeth.
Lowering his hand to rest palm up on my knee, he wouldn’t relent. ‘Not at all. Just tell me what exactly worries you about connecting to me. It’s not like I’m going to drain you.’
The inky black of his shadows spread around my leg like fog, visible enough to touch, yet too insubstantial to feel against my skin. It was beautiful.
The snake around my neck peeked out of my sweater to look at them too. Nosy thing. Perhaps that should be his name.
‘Obviously.’ I straightened, unable to tear my eyes away from his darkness. ‘If you were going to kill me, you’ve had plenty of opportunities already.’
‘You wouldn’t even know it was coming,’ he said casually, like it wasn’t a threat.
My jaw nearly dropped. ‘Is that supposed to console me?’
‘Do you need a hug or something? Just connect to me.’
Glaring at his hand, all I could muster was a sigh. Then another. Silence stretched as I admired the chase between my dragons above us.
A smirk tugged at his mouth, patience fraying. ‘I’ve got the whole day. So either tell me what’s bothering you or it will be quite uneventful.’
I kept my eyes away from him, searching for an explanation that wouldn’t make things awkward. There wasn’t one.
I didn't intend to insult him, but I couldn’t bring myself to refuse outright.
My head spun. ‘It’s just really… intimate.’
Isaac winked before a shameless grin spread across his lips. ‘Is that it? I won’t jump your bones if you can stop yourself from jumping mine.’
Shameless.
Heat rushed to my cheeks.
The ease with which everyone around me embraced sex left me feeling disadvantaged.
It was meant to be easy… something that followed naturally from connection and understanding.
Every so often I worried my lack of experience would put a future partner off.
I wasn’t a virgin, but the few times I’d tried hadn’t taught me much.
‘It’s just…’ I needed to explain myself. ‘It was so awkward when I connected with my father. Honestly, it was rather disgusting.’
A shiver ran down my spine at the memory of my powers recoiling from the Lord of Shadows. It had felt wrong… and for good reason. It didn’t take much to realise an adult shouldn’t be that close to their parent.
Isaac choked. ‘You connected to your father? And here I was getting offended. That probably scarred you for life.’
‘Huh?’
‘There is a reason only children connect to their parents and trainers. It’s also true that connecting is mostly meant for partners.
’ Isaac scratched his beard. ‘So what you felt was your power recognising your relative and telling you it’s wrong to pursue him romantically.
It doesn’t happen with non-family members. ’
My eyes rolled. Not even I was this green. ‘I know.’
‘You do?’ A flicker of surprise crossed his face, quickly replaced by keen interest. ‘Have you ever connected to anyone else?’
The disbelief in his voice should have annoyed me; instead, I almost giggled before going into detail, ‘Believe it or not, my life is what my dragon refers to as a clusterfuck. My mother’s greatest political opponent is my mate.’
‘What?’ his voice dipped. ‘What are you talking about? That can’t be true.’
Finally, someone who shared my reluctance to accept him. ‘I know, right? I couldn’t believe it either. It’s so fucking complicated.’
Isaac blanched. ‘Why… I mean, how do you know he’s your mate?’
I snickered. ‘You’re a fae. You should know how it works better than me.’
‘What does it feel like to you?’ he urged, leaning in a little.
Taking a deep breath, I focused on my longing flames, forever dragging me toward the King of Fire. They never gave me a moment of peace. Only when I trained, forcing my focus onto something else, could they coexist with my other instincts. Maybe that was why I clung to those sessions.
‘A pull,’ I said, wishing I could switch it off. ‘Like I can’t be away for too long because it hurts me and my magic, and drives me insane.’
Isaac tensed before abruptly standing.
‘I need to go,’ he whispered.
Then he jumped without looking back.