Chapter Twelve
Avari
Ispent the night tossing and turning. Not only did I overthink what searching for the Crones with River would mean for me, but when my mind finally quieted, Alec and Willow’s shouts kept waking me.
They were insufferable, throwing tantrums downstairs, upstairs, and in the corridor outside my door. Screams, shouts, stomping—none of it led to anything except a pounding headache.
From what I could make out, she had screwed somebody else. It was relatively fast after the last one, but I couldn’t say I was shocked. For Willow, sex seemed as necessary as breathing.
Alec’s hopeless vision of a future with her bordered on delusion. She was a soulless succubus without a shred of morality. They would never build anything real. It just wasn’t possible with somebody like Willow.
I walked into my wardrobe and picked out a deep red sweater and black padded jacket. Autumn wasn’t kind to those with perpetual chills, and lately that was my body’s response to stress.
The search put me in a difficult position. Everything about River bothered me. And still, something in me kept yearning for him. Not to mention, I had to work with him, while I didn’t trust him.
My power thrashed inside me, reaching for his, and at times it felt like it would tear me apart for denying it. It was the kind of pain that lingered and woke you breathless, like a night terror.
‘Are you ready?’ Miriam asked from the doorway.
‘As ready as I ever will be.’ My brows furrowed as I allowed myself a moment to self-soothe. ‘You?’
She nodded. ‘Yeah, I mean I really don’t know how we can find the Crones with instructions this vague, but we’ll give it our best, right? That’s all we can do.’
Movement behind her caught my eye, and I stilled.
No… It couldn’t be.
‘Oh, Luke is coming too,’ Miriam stated coldly.
She must have suspected I would have a problem with it. I didn’t, not anymore. It was her life. My gratitude for helping us with the search far outweighed my opinion on their marriage.
‘Hi, Luke,’ I greeted him, joining them in the corridor.
He nodded in my direction dismissively.
‘He hates you,’ Anya said in my mind.
Did he? ‘He doesn’t even know me.’
My bonded snickered. ‘I noticed you have that effect on some people.’
‘Wow, thanks.’
Miriam stood in front of me with an outstretched hand. ‘Shall we?’
‘Of course,’ I said with utmost confidence, feeling anything but.
We landed in the foyer, where Maddie greeted us almost instantly with a warm smile. A deep crease suddenly etched into her forehead. ‘Ava, lovely, how have you been?’
Bless her heart. ‘Not too bad, Maddie,’ I lied, forcing a smile in return. I didn’t want her to sense how wrong everything felt or how tired I was of this game of survival. ‘I’m really just worried about the Crone search. I’m sure Dracon told you about it.’
I flicked my gaze toward Luke to warn her of… well, a stranger.
‘Yes, I’ve heard. Best of luck on your search. Meanwhile, let’s get you in his office. As far as I’m aware, Michael will be joining—’ she paused, looking troubled. ‘I’m so sorry; your name must have slipped my mind.’
‘No worries, I’m Miriam,’ she introduced herself, clearly pleased. ‘This is Luke, my fiancé.’
Maddie quickly shook their hands before leading us upstairs, glancing at me several times. Something obviously bothered her, but I wasn’t sure I could handle that conversation.
Her gaze lingered when she couldn’t hold it in any longer. ‘Would you mind if I asked something?’
I braced myself. ‘Ask away.’
She slowed, studying my face. ‘This new place where you live… do you prefer it?’
Straight to the point. I respected the bluntness, even if her disapproval lingered in the background.
‘Preference isn’t the point.’ I held her stare. ‘Everything’s complicated, Maddie.’
‘I understand,’ she said, offering another smile that didn’t reach her eyes as we arrived on the fourth floor. ‘But for what it’s worth, Fogoya will always be your home too.’
Everything seemed so simple to these people. Still, my heart dropped. ‘I appreciate it, Maddie. But isn’t it Dracon’s decision?’
‘That boy would sign the castle over to you if you gave him the slightest inkling that you might come back,’ she breathed, taking my hands in hers.
‘Maddie, it’s not—’
‘It’s not that simple. I know. I’m not trying to pressure you or stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. Just stay safe, wherever that is.’
I thanked her as Miriam moved to knock on River’s office door. The whole conversation left me unsettled.
Stepping in, every instinct told me to turn back.
I tried to steady my racing heart. It didn’t work.
So I ignored it.
Deep down, I wasn’t even certain why it raced. Or that’s what I kept telling myself.