Chapter Thirty-One
Avari
We walked in silence, heading for the basement, until that feeling of a restless itch inside my mind drove me crazy. It’s been so long since I actually spent any time in Fogoya that not only did I miss it, but I needed to know how it was faring.
‘How is the war going?’ Uncomfortable heat spread across my cheeks when River slowed down and looked back. ‘Do you still need to send soldiers to the Gem Fields?’
Eyes slightly widened; the corners of his mouth kicked up. ‘A part of the army is stationed in the villages closest to the border with the fields. But there haven't been any recent attacks. The queen’s sudden departure must have shifted the Ortensian military’s focus.’
Right, nobody knew about what I’ve done. ‘Huh.’
‘I just hope when the new ruler takes over, they agree to finally consider peace. Nobody needs all that bloodshed.’ He paused, lost in thought. ‘It would be easier if you ruled it, but I know you probably don’t want to.’
Did he deem it based on knowing me as a person or my lack of expertise?
A pang of sadness resonated within my chest at his suggestion. I looked down to hide the hurt that must have swirled in my eyes.
Did he find me inadequate?
I tried to bury the uncomfortable thoughts but couldn’t let it go. ‘What makes you say that?’
Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, he chuckled when I shivered. ‘Sorry, I just assumed you wouldn’t want to rule a crowd of water-wielders as a fire-breather. Am I wrong?’
How was I meant to focus when he touched me like that? The soft skin of my ear tickled, and restless heat built up way lower in my body, which I attempted to ignore like the rest of my problems, neatly tucked away in my compartmentalised mind.
It would be much easier if he weren't as attractive. That broad chest of his was too distracting; it made me dream of things that were shameful to admit. The images my mind conjured were disturbing, to say the least. Where did these urges even come from?
Fuck me.
‘Please let him; it will do you so much good,’ Anya’s whiny voice echoed in my brain.
All the more reason to shut it off.
Deep breaths. Focus. I allowed witchcraft to flood my senses with external stimuli for a few seconds before looking at the relatively perplexed River.
He could probably smell my horniness anyway. Platonic. Maybe I needed it tattooed on my arm as a reminder.
‘They’re half witches too,’ I said quickly in response to his disappointing reasoning that I couldn’t rule water-wielders. ‘But you’re right. It would make no sense for me to rule Ortensia even if I had it in me to try.’
‘Even if you controlled water?’
Bless him, controlling water would only complicate my situation more. Chills ran along my spine as I imagined what the corrupted council of my mother’s might have done to stop a fire-breather from also controlling water. I wouldn’t survive it.
‘For centuries Ortensians excelled in cruelty that affected those they couldn’t relate to. I’m not sure that I could ever rule them fairly because I despise what they’d done. A queen can’t rule with resentment any more than she can with greed. Maybe the reign really should go to somebody else.’
The caring man who tried so hard to earn my forgiveness was gone. In front of me stood a king analysing the situation from an angle I couldn’t fathom. ‘I hate your kingdom; they’ve done unforgivable damage to mine. But it’s on their former queen, not necessarily the civilians.’
‘They did it willingly,’ I argued when his words sounded too much like a justification for the way they tortured his people. And me.
Head shaking slightly, he clicked his tongue. ‘Would she have accepted their refusal?’
‘Probably not,’ I admitted while he held the car door open. ‘But does it excuse them?’
‘People will do horrible things to survive, Ava.’ He hopped in behind the wheel. ‘Do you think your sister would continue the war if she took over? She appeared keen on the idea.’
Willow.
Willow was an enigma. I wasn’t sure anyone ever truly got to know what lurked beneath.
‘I honestly don’t know what goes on in that girl’s head. The tides have shifted, though; it won’t be as easy for water-wielders to lay claim to the Gem Fields anymore.’
‘What are you talking about?’ His hand rested on the steering wheel, intrigue making his amber irises spark with enough warmth to make me squirm.
Focus. Focus. Focus. Do not fill the car with your stupid pheromones.
Deep breath.
How could this even be explained to a non-witch? ‘You remember when I told you that connecting to nature is like a push and pull? That sometimes you gain and other times you give?’
‘Yeah?’ his tone was low.
‘When I finally connected to the Isles, where my family lives, it was very overwhelming. It was like getting pulled in a hundred directions at once until the land took me to its very core. No place ever did that before.’
A shiver ran down my spine at the memory. Nothing compared to that connection. It granted me an understanding of magic so deep and so primal I wasn’t sure anyone should ever wield such power.
The crease in his forehead deepened.
‘It’s like… like a heart of sorts. So much magic resides there; it was unbelievable. So raw and majestic. It felt divine. I’ve never read about anything like it; a connection that deep isn’t usual.’
River’s eyes never left mine. ‘Did you do something differently?’
I shook my head. ‘It was the land’s choice to show me how the process works.’
‘The process?’ he asked, leaning back in his seat.
I nodded. ‘Of going beyond the surface. And how to ask for it.’
He paused.
‘I’m so lost, Ava.’ A smile stretched his lips as he interlocked his arms behind his head. ‘I have no idea what you’re saying, I’m sorry. Speak to me like I’m dumb.’
I giggled. ‘You’re not dumb. You’re just… fae.’
‘Well, shit. Tell me how you really feel,’ he teased, lightly thumping my shoulder. ‘So, the dumbed-down version, please.’
‘Upon showing the energy within the Gem Fields the cruelty of Ortensians, it agreed to ban water-wielding,’ I said in one breath.
River didn’t know what to say. His mouth moved, closed, the action repeating a couple of times before he stuttered, ‘Ban… water-wielding?’
‘Well, that’s the short version of the story. And it’s oversimplified. What it means, though, is that they can’t use it for combat on the Gem Fields.’
A flicker of shock crossed his face. ‘How is that even possible? I didn’t know witches could do things like this.’
‘Oh, I didn’t do this. The land did.’
‘But you influenced it,’ he sounded breathless.
‘I just showed it what was happening. It appears that the magic beneath most lands lies dormant; it doesn’t track what we do,’ I simplified it. ‘It was appalled, though.’
He froze. ‘The land was?’
‘Yeah,’ A smile I tried to hide for some time twisted my mouth up as I watched him stare at me utterly dazed. ‘The energy is alive. It doesn’t have feelings like we do, but from what I’ve seen, it has a sense of morality.’
‘The lands have morals,’ he repeated, while scratching his beard. ‘You know if I didn’t know you, I would assume you were a schizophrenic.’
‘Fair.’ My cheeks heated. ‘But they can still use witchcraft. It’s more complex than elemental powers.’
Before I could react, he took my hand, pressed a kiss to it, and held it against his heart. ‘Thank you, Ava.’
The erratic beat of my heart echoed in my ears restlessly. ‘Don’t mention it.’
The warm palm of his kept hold of mine as his fingers stroked me gently. ‘When did you even go to the Gem Fields?’
I paused. ‘Just before coming here with your…’
River’s head dipped, his fingers tightening around mine.
‘My mum,’ he said softly.
With my mind racing through every worst-case scenario, I struggled to start the conversation I had been putting off. ‘River, we never spoke about what my father–’
A deep sigh stretched his chest as he kissed my hand once more. ‘She doesn’t hold a grudge. She is truly grateful for your help.’
Gods, there was no way to get justice for her without shattering the last piece of peace I had left. It felt selfish not to want River’s family to retaliate, but I couldn’t bear the thought of another war. I couldn’t bear choosing between them.
‘She might not hold a grudge but you… You lost your mum for so long; it’s… it’s absolutely horrible. I’m so sorry that he did this, River.’
‘Ava…’ His fingers locked around mine. ‘It is a very difficult situation. But I will not go after your father. My mum mentioned you feared how I would react.’
My mouth had gone dry. How did he understand me so well?
‘I didn’t want another war,’ I explained, trying to calm down. ‘I know you have every right to attack him. And that even if you don’t want to go after my father, your dad probably will—’
‘No, he won’t,’ he said confidently. ‘My mother doesn’t want him to. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like she wants to be friends with your father but… she thinks it’s best to let it go.’
I nodded, hoping that they really meant it.
River looked away; something was bothering him. ‘I wish I could say that what he did appalled me, but with the urges I have it would make me a hypocrite.’
My heart skipped a beat. ‘What do you mean?’
There was an unmistakable hunger in his eyes. They darkened and bore into mine, making me shiver.
‘To have you near,’ his low tone of voice carried a note of urgency. ‘Safe and provided for. To watch you fly above the court and enjoy the kingdom you would hopefully begin to call home. Nothing in the world could harm you because I would eviscerate half of the realm for you.’
My cheeks burned. ‘River…’
He cleared his throat, foot tapping the floor in a vicious tempo. ‘I’m just trying to say that… I hate him, but there is a part of me that understands.’
No. We would not justify his barbaric ways. 'Well, I don’t. Women aren’t an object to own and guard, River. You can’t justify—‘
He shook his head. ‘It’s not about ownership, Ava. It never was and never will be.’
I took a deep breath. ‘It sounds dangerously close.’
A long pause stretched between us when he obviously didn’t know what to say.