Chapter 25
The last thing Saul wanted was to meet Joelle for lunch today, but when she’d sent him a message this morning, she hadn’t been wishing him a happy Christmas. She wanted to see him today, as planned, because she had something important to tell him.
So it appeared that Saul would be going near some shops after all, in the centre of Hereford, having lunch with Joelle. It did cross his mind to refuse, because what could she possibly have to say that was so important? And why would she imagine he would be interested? She was hardly going to announce that she had made a mistake all those years ago and that seeing him on the day of the Christmas festival had made her realise she still loved him. And even if she did, Saul now knew he was over her. He suspected that he had been over her for a while, but hadn’t realised it because he had made his mind up that his heart had been broken and he had been determined never to allow it to happen again by keeping every woman he had dated at arm’s length.
Finding the restaurant where they were to have lunch, he hesitated outside. It wasn’t too late to abort the meeting. There was nothing Joelle could say to him that he might consider important, but his curiosity overcame his reluctance. He would hear what she had to say, and then he’d leave, after making it clear there wouldn’t be another meeting.
Although he arrived dead on time, Joelle, typically, was late. It had been an annoying trait of hers, and he had forgotten how much it used to irritate him. He had been so besotted with her that he invariably used to cast his irritation aside.
Looking back, he understood he had allowed her to walk all over him.
He would wait ten minutes, he decided, as he was shown to a table near the window, and if she hadn’t arrived by then, he would leave. Her tardiness implied that her time was more valuable than his, and he resented that. It was bad enough that she had dragged him all this way without telling him why, and now she had the temerity to keep him waiting.
A frisson in the air alerted him to her presence as she breezed into the restaurant, and he smiled ruefully at her ability to turn male heads. She hadn’t lost her magnetism, which was a combination of attractiveness plus haughty self-confidence. Immaculately dressed in a red pantsuit and high-heeled boots, she shucked off her coat and handed it to a hovering waiter without looking at the poor man, who took it, open-mouthed.
Joelle had always been a bit of a diva, but she was even more of one now, Saul realised.
He remained seated at the table, not rising when she moved in for a double-cheeked kiss.
His lack of manners didn’t appear to bother her.
‘Have you been here long?’ she asked, snapping her fingers to attract the waiter’s attention. She needn’t have done so, because the poor bloke hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her.
‘Long enough.’ Saul’s reply was gruff.
‘Don’t be grumpy, Saul. I wasn’t late on purpose. What would you like to drink? Have whatever you fancy – my treat. I’ll put it on expenses.’
‘Water, please,’ he said to the waiter.
Joelle arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him. ‘Really?’ She shrugged. ‘Make that two. Bottled. With bubbles.’ When the waiter left, she said, ‘If it’s fizzy I can at least pretend it’s something more exciting.’
‘What is it you want to tell me?’ Saul asked. He wasn’t in the mood for small talk.
‘Let’s order first, shall we? I’m starving. I’ve been on the shop floor all morning.’
‘The shop floor?’
‘Yes. Don’t you know? I’m the area manager for Rosy Glow, and with the January sales starting today, the store is incredibly busy.’
‘Rosy Glow?’
‘Cosmetics? You must have heard of it.’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘Maybe not. Never mind, you soon will. We’re opening a branch in Tanglewood.’ Joelle seemed very pleased with herself.
‘Is that what you wanted to tell me?’
The waiter appeared with their drinks.
‘I think I’ll have the baked celeriac.’ Joelle hadn’t bothered to look at the menu and Saul guessed she had eaten here before.
Saul didn’t care what he ate, so he didn’t bother looking at the menu either. ‘I’ll have the same,’ he said.
Order placed, Saul was keen to return to the discussion. ‘Is that what you wanted to tell me?’ he repeated.
‘Not all of it, no. How is Leanne?’
‘You asked me that the last time we spoke, and I told you she was fine.’
‘I meant personally, not professionally. Is she married or seeing someone?’
‘She lives with her boyfriend, Rex.’
‘Children?’
‘Not yet.’
‘How about your brothers?’
‘What’s with the twenty questions?’
‘Just trying to make conversation. I must say, Saul, you never used to be this rude.’
‘That was before you—’ He broke off, aghast at how close he’d come to letting her know she had broken his heart.
She reached across the table and Saul snatched his hand away.
Her expression was sympathetic. ‘I’m sorry I hurt you so badly.’
‘You didn’t.’ The lie was stiff and wooden.
She wasn’t fooled; her gaze was full of contrition.
Neither of them acknowledged the waiter as he placed their meals on the table.
‘It’s good to see you again, Saul. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I walked into that bookshop. For a minute there, I thought you’d taken up a new career.’
Saul gritted his teeth. Why wouldn’t she get to the point and tell him what she thought was so important that she had to tell him to his face. ‘Say what you’ve got to say.’ He had no idea what game she was playing, but his patience was growing thin.
‘I did care about you…’ Joelle’s voice was soft.
‘Not enough.’
‘No, not enough,’ she agreed. ‘But I hope we can move past that. I don’t want there to be any awkwardness between us because I’m going to be in Tanglewood a fair bit soon. As I said, Rosy Glow is opening a new branch in the village and I’ll be supervising the refit, recruitment, and so on. I wanted to tell you in person.’ She pulled a face. ‘I know things ended badly between us and I know you were more invested in the relationship than me. I’m sorry for that, but I couldn’t help how I felt. I was ambitious… Tanglewood was too small. It wasn’t enough.’
Just like I hadn’t been enough , he thought. ‘You moved to Hereford, not Milan or New York. You could have commuted.’
‘It wouldn’t have worked, Saul.’ She reached across the table again, and this time he let her place her hand over his. She was right, it wouldn’t have worked. She hadn’t loved him enough to make their relationship work.
‘It’s a sixty-minute commute each way,’ she was saying. ‘And I was working long hours. We would have hardly seen one another. It wasn’t practical. Which is the reason I’m moving back to Tanglewood for the next three months, so I can oversee the new shop opening properly, without spending a ridiculous amount of time on the road. We’re going to be seeing quite a bit more of each other, Saul.’ She stared deep into his eyes as she added, ‘How much, is up to you.’
‘Bloody trains,’ Leanne muttered for what seemed like the twenty-sixth time.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Kazz soothed. ‘We can still have a fun day out.’
Leaves on the line, a mouse on the track, an impassable snowflake – the rail service hadn’t given a reason for the trains from Abergavenny to Cardiff being cancelled, and when Leanne had enquired at the tiny ticket office, the lady hadn’t had any idea when they would start running again. Faced with the choice of abandoning their shopping trip, driving to Cardiff or changing destination, they had opted to hop on the next train to Hereford instead, considering it was due in five minutes and would take less than half an hour to get there.
Kazz had been expecting a town similar in size to Abergavenny, but she was surprised at how much larger Hereford was. It even had a cathedral. And from what she could see, the pedestrianised main street had a fair number of popular chain stores, where everything was very samey. After living in Tanglewood, with its small, quirky, privately owned shops, Kazz wasn’t as interested in the big retailers as she used to be.
‘I’m surprised you wanted to go shopping at all, considering you spend a couple of days a month in London,’ Kazz joked. ‘Couldn’t you find what you wanted there?’
‘I could, but it’s no fun shopping on my own.’ Leanne linked her arm through Kazz’s. ‘Let’s go try some stuff on, then have lunch. I’m after a new dress for Hogmanay.’
‘Oh yes, you’re off up to Scotland for New Year.’ Iris had mentioned it on Christmas Day. Rex was Scottish and they were visiting his parents for New Year.
‘We’re flying,’ Leanne said excitedly. ‘I haven’t flown anywhere for ages. And they’ve got snow .’
‘ We’ve got snow,’ Kazz pointed out.
‘Not like Scotland has. We’ve got a couple of centimetres at most in the village, although I know the hillsides have more. Where Rex’s parents live, they’ve got a couple of feet! Ooh, let’s go in here.’ She steered Kazz into a clothes shop and started going through the racks of dresses.
Kazz thought she might as well have a look, considering she was here, and it wasn’t long before the pair of them had taken an armful of clothes into the fitting room.
‘I like this one,’ Leanne said, emerging from the cubicle and doing a twirl. The dress was electric blue, with a fitted waist and an A-line skirt reaching to below her knees. She looked lovely.
‘Buy it,’ Kazz urged. ‘It looks good on you.’
‘But what if I see something else I like?’
‘You might not, though. If you don’t buy it and then decide to come back for it, Sod’s Law it’ll be gone.’
‘You’re right. And if I do see something else, I might treat myself to that as well. I haven’t bought anything new in ages. Are you getting any of the ones you tried on?’
Kazz wanted to, but she thought it best to save her money. If she was going to start looking for a more permanent place to live, she would need money for furniture. Thankfully, the deposit she had paid for her share of the flat in London had gone back into her bank account, so that would hopefully cover a deposit on a new place, plus the first month’s rent.
Maybe she and Saul could have a look at some properties online this evening? Or maybe not. She didn’t want him to think she was hinting at them moving in together.
‘I need shoes to go with this dress,’ Leanne declared, after she’d paid for it and they’d left the shop. ‘I can’t believe how painless that was. I normally go in every shop at least once, and never find anything. I’ll go shopping with you again! You must be my lucky charm.’
Several shops and a great many pairs of shoes later, Leanne was starting to flag. ‘I take back what I said about you being lucky.’ She gave Kazz a friendly elbow in the ribs.
Kazz elbowed her back. ‘I bet you wish you’d come on your own now.’
‘Definitely not. Shall we have a spot of lunch? I could do with a sit-down.’
‘What do you mean?’ Kazz chuckled. ‘You’ve been sitting down trying shoes on for the past hour.’
‘My feet hurt.’
‘I’m not surprised. Those last ones you tried on were rather high,’ Kazz pointed out. ‘I’ve seen less tall skyscrapers. What were they? Four inches?’
‘Five, I think.’
‘No wonder your feet hurt! Are you thinking of a proper restaurant or a cafe for lunch?’
‘Don’t mind. You choose. You’re the chef.’
‘Not anymore – I’m a bookseller now. Cafe, I think. What about down there?’ The side street boasted at least two that Kazz could see, and a restaurant.
She had her sights set on a place on the opposite pavement, and as they headed towards the zebra crossing, Kazz automatically glanced into the restaurant on the other side of the road. It was rather bougie and was about two-thirds full, so the food must be OK.
She was about to change her mind and suggest they eat there instead of at the cafe, when she saw a familiar face.
No, it couldn’t be.
Saul was in Tanglewood. He had told her he would be busy repairing a something or other. He’d mentioned a piece of machinery, but she couldn’t remember what it was called or what it was supposed to do.
And why the hell was she thinking about bloody machinery when Saul was having lunch with the woman she had seen talking to him in the bookshop on the day of the Christmas festival?
‘Come on,’ Leanne urged. The traffic had stopped to allow them to cross, but Kazz couldn’t move.
Her feet were glued to the pavement in shock, and she couldn’t take her eyes off Saul and the woman.
‘Are you OK?’ Leanne asked. ‘We’re holding people up.’ She pulled Kazz back from the kerb, calling, ‘Sorry!’ to the cars that were waiting. Then she said to her, ‘What’s wrong? Why didn’t you—?’
Kazz pointed, and Leanne stopped talking and followed the direction of her finger.
‘Is that…?’ Leanne moved a step closer to the kerb. ‘It can’t be.’ She gasped. ‘ It is! And that’s… Oh, shit . He’s with Joelle Lawson.’
Kazz dragged her gaze away from Saul and the woman. They were staring lovingly at each other across the table. He hadn’t looked away from her face once, and he seemed oblivious to anyone else’s existence.
Kazz found her voice. ‘ Who is Joelle Lawson?’
She was aware Leanne was staring at her, and when she looked at her friend, there was pity in her eyes as she said, ‘Joelle is the woman who broke Saul’s heart.’
‘Tell me everything,’ Kazz demanded.
They had given the cafe a miss and found a pub, Leanne insisting Kazz had a brandy for the shock.
Kazz had asked for a whisky instead and sat nursing it, not able to bring herself to taste it now that it was in her hands because it reminded her of Saul.
Leanne was on orange juice and tonic water because she would be driving them back to Tanglewood from Abergavenny station later.
‘I have a good mind to march in there and ask him what he thinks he’s doing,’ Leanne growled. ‘The stupid f—’
‘Can you please tell me?’ Kazz was trying not to cry, and so far, she was succeeding but it was a close-run thing, and not knowing was tearing her apart.
‘I thought he was over her,’ Leanne began, ‘but I’m afraid I might be wrong.’
Kazz’s eyes bored into her friend, willing her to carry on and, after downing half her orange juice as if it contained something stronger, Leanne continued.
‘Her father was in the army. The family moved to Tanglewood because he was based near Brecon. Believe it or not, my brother hadn’t had many girlfriends before her. Don’t get me wrong, he liked girls but he was more interested in sport – rugby especially – and having a laugh with his mates. Joelle swept him off his feet. He’s never admitted it, but I think she was his first love.’
‘Great.’ Kazz knocked back the whisky, slamming the tumbler onto the table. ‘I think I’m going to need another.’ Shaking, she went to the bar and ordered a double. When she sat down again, she asked, ‘Why did they split up?’
‘I don’t know. All I heard was that she had been offered a job for some up-and-coming cosmetics company and the next thing she had moved to Hereford.’
‘But that doesn’t explain why they split up,’ Kazz said, picking up her drink. The second whisky slipped down as easily as the first, and as the alcohol hit her stomach, she began to feel light-headed.
Leanne sighed. ‘If you want my opinion, I think she was using him for a good time and she dropped him when it suited her. Who wants a boyfriend an hour’s drive away if you’re not that into him? All I know is, it changed him. She changed him. It was subtle and if you didn’t know him really, really well, you probably wouldn’t have noticed, but he kind of withdrew into himself emotionally. He dated loads of women, but never allowed himself to get close to any of them. He never went out with anyone for long – five dates maximum. Most didn’t even get that far.’
Leanne placed a hand on Kazz’s arm when she rose to buy another whisky. ‘Don’t have any more, Kazz, wait until you’re home.’
Kazz flinched. She had been starting to think of Tanglewood as home; she had certainly felt more at home in the flat above the tea shop than anywhere else she had lived since she’d moved out of her mum’s. But seeing Saul with another woman had rocked her to the core.
OK, so they hadn’t been snogging or anything, but there was more than one way to be intimate, and gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes was one of them. And now, Tanglewood didn’t feel quite as homely anymore.
Mindful that Leanne didn’t need to haul Kazz’s inebriated corpse through the streets of Hereford, Kazz subsided.
Leanne went on, ‘Most of his dates didn’t get as far as date number five – until he met you. You’re different.’
Kazz snorted. ‘Not different enough. He’s having an intimate lunch with his first love, if you remember?’
‘You need to talk to him. I don’t know what he’s playing at, and for what it’s worth I think he’s an idiot for giving her the time of day, but promise me you’ll hear what he’s got to say for himself before you do anything drastic.’
‘Like telling him he’s a lowlife scumbag and hoping he’ll go to hell?’
Leanne’s smile was sympathetic. ‘Yeah, something like that. Look, why don’t you message him? Tell him that you saw him having lunch, and see what he says?’
‘I’d prefer to speak to him face to face.’
‘Fair enough. I expect he’ll come to yours later.’
‘Bugger, you’re right. I don’t think I can face him yet.’ Kazz needed some time to process what she’d seen and to work out how she was going to play it.
‘How about you message him and tell him we’ve decided to make a girls’ night of it: wine, a takeaway, a romcom on the telly?’ Leanne suggested. ‘Hell, we can actually do that, if you want. We can pick up a couple of bottles of wine on the way home – but no drunk texting. When you speak to Saul, you should do it sober.’
As they got up to leave, Leanne pulled Kazz towards her and gave her a hug. ‘I’m positive there’s a simple explanation,’ she said. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to speak to him now? It’ll put you out of your misery.’
‘I’m sure,’ Kazz replied. And the reason for her reluctance was that she wasn’t in the least bit sure his explanation would put her out of her misery. In fact, she had an awful feeling that it would make her feel more miserable than she had ever felt in her life.