16. Chapter 16 #2
“Do you want to stick around? We can watch a Christmas movie or something,” I say, trying to keep the hope out of my voice. I don’t want him to leave. I’m not ready to be alone yet.
When I turn and look back at Torin, he’s already giving me an apologetic smile. “I should go home. I need a shower.”
I’m about to say he can shower here, that I have plenty of clothes he could wear. Then he adds, “And I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow. Last-minute shopping, laundry, packing.”
“Right,” I say, nodding quickly. “Christmas Eve is the day after tomorrow. You need to get ready to go see your folks.” I try to say it with some Christmas spirit, but the look in Torin’s eyes tells me I wasn’t convincing.
“Aye,” he says and looks down at his hands. I don’t know what else to say, so I move to put away the last of the smoothie ingredients, lining them up one by one in their usual places.
I’m putting the maca root back on the shelf when Torin says, “Do you want to come home with me?” He says it so fast that I take a moment to make sure I heard him correctly.
I turn slowly. “You want me to come back to your flat?” I ask tentatively. “Do you need help with something?”
“No,” he says. He runs a hand through his hair and tries again. “Do you want to spend Christmas with me and my family? I know you said you’d go to Ireland with Maeve, but my parents’ farm is closer, and I can show you around the Highlands…”
My heart is racing. Scottish traditions, the Highlands… time with Torin. I try to keep my voice in check as I tell him what I told Maeve. “Oh, I couldn’t intrude on such short notice.” I’m dying to say yes, but I can’t tell if he’s just asking to be nice, or…
But he knows I have somewhere I could go, so he wouldn’t offer unless he actually wanted me to join him. I go with my gut and add, “But it would be nice to get more cultural experiences over the holidays.”
Torin’s barely contained smile tells me I said the right thing.
“Definitely,” he says, getting into his academic stride. “A Scottish Christmas, and you should stay through Hogmanay, of course. My sister plans this big charity ceilidh every year. And we can see all the castles and battlefields and mountains and—”
“And furry cows?”
He laughs. “Yes, I’ll make sure you pet a Highland cow.”
I try to keep my face neutral, but the grin breaking across it gives me away completely.
I call Maeve as soon as Torin leaves, pacing slowly between the couch and the Christmas tree while the phone rings. She answers almost immediately.
“I’ve decided to stay in Scotland over the holidays,” I say. “I’m going to use the time to work on my research.”
There’s a beat of silence.
“Your research? Over the holidays? What does this research entail exactly? The libraries and centers are closed during the break.” She doesn’t sound upset, thankfully.
“I know. I’m going to the Highlands to visit some sites. I also want to experience a Scottish Christmas and Hogmanay.” I say all this very casually, but Maeve always knows.
“You’re spending the holidays with Torin, aren’t you?” She says it like a statement.
I stop pacing. “How did you know that?” I ask. “Did he tell you?”
“Nah, I saw the look on his face when I invited you to spend time with my family. I could tell he wanted you to spend the holidays with him,” she says, then her voice takes on a tentative tone. “That might be why I asked you to visit in the first place.”
“You invited me to Ireland because you wanted to see what Torin would do?” I try to sound stern, but I’m laughing.
“Absolutely,” she says, then catches herself. “I mean, I would love to have you. But I see how Torin looks at you when he thinks no one else is watching… And inquiring minds want to know.”
I rub my forehead, ready to argue. “First of all, Torin is just trying to make up for being so combative the first half of term. I doubt he’s looking at me in any specific way.
” I say it half-heartedly. “Second, if your mind was so inquiring, you could’ve just asked him if he’s into me. You’re not exactly shy.”
“I could have, but you know Torin. If I confronted him about it before he was ready, he’d just deny it and bury his face even further in a book.”
“Sounds accurate,” I tell her, remembering how quiet he’d gotten after St. Andrew’s Day.
“To your point, though,” she continues, “I’m glad he no longer has a book up his ass. I watched as you went from archnemesis to boyfriend material in just a few short weeks. Surely you noticed, too.”
I’m about to deny it, but Maeve wouldn’t believe me if I did. And it would be nice to have someone to talk with who knows both of us. There’s a long pause while I decide what to say, but Maeve can’t take it anymore. “I wish I were there to poke the truth out of you right now.”
“Fine,” I say with a laugh. “Yes, Torin’s attitude toward me has changed drastically. And we constantly catch each other’s eyes in class and the office, so I know the way he looks at me.”
I pause, thinking that should be enough. Apparently it’s not.
“And?”
“And…” I draw out the word, not wanting to admit what comes next, in case it isn’t true, but I cross my fingers and continue. “I know that whatever’s happening isn’t just two colleagues getting along. I’m hoping we can be… something more than friends.”
I pull the phone away from my ear as she whoops. It sounds like she’s jumping up and down as she yells, “I knew it!” She might even be dancing as she turns it into a tune, singing, “I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.”