15. Shemaiah
SHEMAIAH
“Fuck!” I’m a selfish bastard. It didn’t even cross my mind that not speaking to her would increase her worry about Tobias.
Or hurt her. But it’s clear she was hurt by my avoidance.
I was so caught up in protecting her—bullshit—I was so caught up in protecting myself, that I didn’t think about how she would feel.
I’m obviously a sick bastard too, because as she stood there staring at me, the only thing I could think about was seeing if she tasted like fresh lemons.
She smelled richer, as if the citrus had been boiled down into something more concentrated by her emotions.
And she was beautiful, standing there with her porcelain cheeks dusted with freckles and a bright blush.
Her raspberry lips were full and pursed with annoyance, her blonde hair pulled up in a bun, leaving her neck bare, the pulse point thudding with her racing heart.
My mouth waters. My fangs descend.
This is why I stayed away.
“Fuck!” I swipe the pitcher off the vanity. The glass crashes against the wall, splintering and breaking apart. Water oozes across the floor. Ashamed of my loss of composure, I immediately drop a towel to sop it up. Pippa’s right. We are friends—we were friends. The only friendship I’d ever had.
I love my siblings, but we’ve never been close, not exactly.
Our father made sure of that. And now I’ve screwed everything up with my stubborn overthinking.
This doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I’m stronger than whatever lust I feel for her.
We can be friends without it turning into anything more.
Determined to apologize, I storm out of my room to chase after her. “Pippa!” I call, moving swiftly down the empty hallway.
Steps away from the breakfast parlor, I turn the corner and run right into Anna. I grab hold of her to keep her from toppling backward and right her at arm’s length.
“Shem.” Her wide eyes take in my undone state. “Are you alright?”
“Fine.” I look past her into the breakfast parlor, searching for Pippa.
“But you…” She pauses. “You aren’t dressed.”
“Huh?” I look down at myself. “Oh.” Haphazardly shoving my shirt into the waistband of my trousers, I take a step back. “Have you seen Pippa?”
“Pippa?” Her voice sounds strange, laced with jealousy. Her dark brows collapse over her eyes, her thick lashes coated with moisture. “Pippa? The same woman you’ve been avoiding for the last two weeks?”
Her gaze rakes down my form. She’s clearly jumping to conclusions about why I’m not completely dressed.
“It’s—”
“What is it about me that you find so repulsive?” Anna interrupts.
“You’re not repulsive.” She’s actually a very beautiful woman. And the few times she’s dropped the flirtatious act, she’s seemed smart and competent too, like the day she helped Pippa.
“Then what is it? You could at least give me a chance.” She stalks forward, backing me into the parlor. “It’s not like you’re in love with someone else or anything. Why can’t we see if something could grow here?”
Of course I’m not in love with someone else. The thought is ridiculous.
“You and I both know Jafeth’s just playing games, and Zarah’s been spending most of her time with Kay—who knows what’s going on there—so you’re my only hope, Shemaiah. If I can’t…” Tears pour down her cheeks in a flood. “Please! Why won’t you try? Why?”
Two crying women in a single day. The thought itches me from the inside, and I want to claw at my own skin. I burst out the only thing I can think of that might pacify her tears. “I am in love with someone else!”
Fuck!
What the hell! Now I’m lying?
I glance around, hoping I can find a way out of this mess, except there are six additional pairs of eyes on me in various states of shock at my confession.
Noah and Ruby are sitting at the round table near the window, Noah’s coffee cup suspended near his mouth.
Jafeth is standing at the end of the buffet, smirking like a cat who got into the cream.
Zarah and Kay are at the long table in the middle of the room, their heads bent together, only they’re both looking at me, waiting, Zarah’s head tilted at a shrewd angle. And Pippa.
Pippa stands in the doorway on the opposite side of the room as if she only just arrived, her expression that of a reprimanding tutor who knows when you’re cheating.
I raise my eyebrows, pleading, knowing she owes me nothing.
The clink of a coffee cup reanimates the room. “What did you just say?” Noah asks.
“Who?” Anna looks more shocked than any of them.
Pippa’s eyes narrow.
“Pippa,” I blurt, my gaze never leaving hers. “I’m in love with Pippa.”
Pippa’s brows arch high over those pretty cornflower blue eyes. You’re a liar, she seems to admonish.
Go along with it, I silently beg. Please go along with it.
“Is this true?” Anna shifts her attention to Pippa.
Rather than deny or confirm it, Pippa says nothing, just continues to stare at me. Her blush says enough.
Ruby shakes her head. “But you’ve been avoiding—”
“We didn’t want anyone to know yet,” I cut her off, crossing the room in three steps so I can take Pippa’s hand.
“Is that so?” Noah’s voice carries a hint of skepticism. “Pippa?”
I pull her toward me. “Please,” I whisper in her ear.
She resists just enough to stumble and fall against my chest.
“Pippa?” Noah repeats.
Her head tilts, and her glare pierces me, but I don’t look away.
This may not have been the most calculated plan I’ve ever developed—far from it—but it could work to keep Anna at bay.
If only Pippa goes along with it, except I’ve been an ass, and she might just throw me to the wolves. Goddess knows, I deserve it.
“Well…” She turns around to face the rest of the group. I keep my arms around her, holding her against my chest. “I can’t speak for Shemaiah, as his feelings are his own.”
“But you’re… courting?” Ruby asks.
My hand splays across Pippa’s stomach, pressing her body tighter against mine. She fits so perfectly. When the pulse in her neck increases—something my brothers and Ruby won’t miss—I wonder if she thinks so too.
“We’re exploring things,” Pippa acquiesces.
I release a slow sigh of relief. Thank the goddess.
Kay squeals with a happy little twitch from her seat and claps twice.
Zarah watches Kay’s hands. Anna looks as though a storm cloud has ridden in on her brow.
My brothers look at me with accurate skepticism while Ruby gets up from her place with a bright smile.
They’re two seconds away from swarming us with more questions about our relationship, and I can’t let that happen.
“Give us a minute.” I tug Pippa backwards, reaching for the closest doorknob and pulling her into a… linen closet. It’ll do. I shut the door.
She turns to face me in the tight space, the rustle of our clothing, the connection of our bodies sparking under the pressure.
“What the hell, Shemaiah?” she whisper-yells. “You’re in love with me?”
“It’s not real,” I say, even quieter. The words catch in my throat. That’s the truth, so I’m not sure why I’m having a hard time saying it.
“I know that! I’m not na?ve enough to think you’re in love with me.” There’s a note of self-deprecation in her tone that makes a growl threaten my chest.
Even without the light on, I can see her eyes burn with glossy fire. If she keeps this up, my siblings will hear her. Mavarri senses are much sharper than humans.
“Shhh!” I cover her mouth with my palm and lean close to her ear. “I panicked, okay?” Slowly, I slide my hand down her neck, feeling her throat work. Feeling her pulse pick up.
“Shemaiah Roan panicked?” She’s much quieter now, barely breathing the words.
“Yes.”
She tilts her head and squints like she’s trying to see through the dark, through my layers, to the heart of me. A pointless attempt. I can’t understand myself right now.
“Will you go along with it?” My touch glides over the curve of her shoulder and down her arm.
She sighs. “I think I already did.”
We’re standing so close I can feel her belly move with each breath, the shift of her hips, the rustle of fabric against fabric.
Her scent engulfs me. I should step back, but we need to be close in order to speak quietly, and my feet stay firmly in place.
“I owe you, Pippa. Name your price. It’s yours. ”
“Take me to—” She closes her eyes, wrinkles her nose, and shakes her head. “Find my son. Just find my son, Shemaiah.”