21. Pippa
PIPPA
“You’re telling me I need to be bitten?” I stare at Noah and Ruby standing in the sitting room of my suite.
They both arrived several minutes prior and shared Noah’s hypothesis.
A gentle golden light filters through the tall windows, and I’m struck again by how gorgeous they are, both individually, but also side by side as a pair.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Noah says, glancing at Ruby.
She smiles, a soft blush brightening her complexion. “It doesn’t hurt.”
Noah puts his hand into his pocket, a casual stance, like he can sense my hesitance and is trying to set me at ease.
“Think of it as a kind of prescription. I strongly believe it’ll have a medicinal effect.
I haven’t been able to test the theory yet.
But I’ll collect more blood after you’ve been bitten, and we can see. ”
I sink down into a seat, overly tired even though it’s only midday. “So I need to attend the party?”
“Well, I suppose it doesn’t have to be at the party.” Ruby looks at Noah. “Though that might be the safest place.”
“Safest?” I ask. “I thought you said it doesn’t hurt.”
“That’s not—” Ruby stops when Noah puts his hand on her arm.
“It doesn’t have to be at the new moon party, but when a Mavarri has strong feelings for who they bite—as Shemaiah does for you—they can sometimes lose control.
At the party, I’ll be there. As well as Ruby and my other siblings.
” He glances at his wife, then back at me.
“I think wherever it takes place, it’ll only benefit you. ”
“In more ways than one.” Ruby smiles as if we’re sharing a secret.
Noah gives her a small smirk before turning his attention back to me. “Shemaiah told us of your plans to leave, and I think this is a way to help you survive the journey, Miss Willoughby. To prolong—”
“—the inevitable.” I look down at my hands in my lap.
My life is waning, and the time left is ticking away.
I wish things could be different. I wasted so many moments thinking there would be more of them.
If I only had one more night, would I want to waste it on fear?
I picture Shemaiah, imagining the feel of his mouth on me, his bite.
My skin tightens with a pleasurable tingle.
It’ll be fine. We both know what this is. And what it isn’t.
I stand. “Fine. I’ll go. Is Shemaiah… does he know?” I haven’t seen him today. Surprising him with this and facing his rejection might prove more than I can handle.
“Yes,” Noah answers. “I spoke with him last night.”
“And he agreed?”
“He asked us to explain it to you.”
Ruby tilts her head to look at me, assessing, always capturing and measuring information. “You don’t need to worry about him not wanting to bite you. It’s in his nature—even more so with someone he cares about. I’m surprised he hasn’t asked to do so already.”
“Oh, um, I think he just hasn’t wanted to make me worse. I’ve got to live until the Summer Solstice, afterall.” I try to laugh, but it doesn’t land right.
Ruby nods, knowing that’s the only time Shemaiah will be able to transform someone he loves into a Mavarri. Until this moment, I hadn’t thought about how we’ll get out of our lie when the Solstice actually comes. I assumed I wouldn’t make it that long. Maybe he did too.
Noah tilts his head and furrows his brow. “Well, it appears there’s no need to deny yourselves.”
Right. Because we’re in love. And we should want to be together in every way. I take a deep breath and hold it, rubbing a hand over my heart. I can do this.
Later, I face the mirror as a new maid buttons up the back of the emerald green gown Ruby lent me. The off-the-shoulder neckline drops low, barely concealing my breasts, revealing my shoulder, my collarbones, my neck. What will Shemaiah think of this dress? Will he like it?
I raise my chin and shake out my hands. It doesn’t matter if he likes it or not. We’re just friends. Yes, he’s about to bite me, but only for medicinal purposes. It means nothing.
The other women of the house have all congregated in my rooms to get ready.
They’ve attended new moon parties before and seem eager for me to experience the same.
Well, Ruby and Kay are eager. I can’t read Zarah, and Anna’s been in a mood lately.
No longer flirting shamelessly, she’s turned cold and distant. I worry about her.
“That gown is perfect,” Kay says from behind me. “It looks lovely on you.”
I glance at her through the mirror. She’s standing in an icy blue frock that makes her red hair vibrant and reveals the rosy pops of color on her creamy skin. She looks healthier somehow.
“Thank you.” I smooth my hand down the front of my tiered skirt as the maid fluffs the bustle behind me.
“Would you like gloves, miss?” she asks.
Not long ago, before coming to New Essik, I was just like this young woman. Back then, I dreamed of wearing a dress like this and going to a party rather than serving at one. I believed I could be something special to him. Now, I’m in a position like the one I hoped for, but it’s still all a lie.
I nod my head at the maid, and she offers me long, white satin gloves.
Anna comes up beside me and adjusts the bodice of her dress, pulling it down a little. She looks worse than she did a week ago. She’s lost weight, there are circles under her eyes, and her dark hair has lost its shine.
“I’m going to take Jafeth up on his offer tonight,” she announces.
“That’s an excellent idea,” Ruby says.
I’m surprised, since Ruby is usually the one dissuading Jafeth. Maybe she just wants Anna to enjoy the party, or perhaps she’s just encouraging a bite to help Noah’s research. Maybe both. I’m sure she knows better than to hope Jafeth will fall in love.
“You really should.” Kay giggles, her cheeks as red as ripe apples.
“As long as you go into the encounter with realistic expectations, then I think you’ll find yourself… happy with the outcome.” Zarah flashes Anna a smile, her sharp fangs showing.
Anna’s decision might have surprised me if I didn’t understand it so well.
When life is fragile, there’s a desire to seize whatever opportunities you can, even if you know it won’t lead anywhere.
I get the sense that Anna has resigned herself to none of the Roan siblings falling in love with her and accepted her fate, taking whatever pleasure she can from the moment.
Even though she doesn’t know it, I feel similarly.
Shemaiah won’t bite me on Summer Solstice, no matter what they all think. So this is my opportunity to live, here and now, while I can. But that decision doesn’t make me any less nervous.
As long as I’m realistic about what this means, it’ll be fine.
With shaking hands, I pull on my gloves, take one last look in the mirror, and follow the other women down to the party.