Delilah #2
I cover my mouth with my hand, overwhelmed by emotion. He’s got the same brown eyes as me but his hair’s lighter, cropped short in the Brotherhood’s typical style. The resemblance to our mother is undeniable. “Yes.” A relieved laugh spills out of me.
“Okay, let’s see.” Benji digs deeper before pointing to some information on the screen.
Name: William Jameson (born William Clark to Thomas Clark and Elizabeth Harris)
Age: Thirteen
Parents: Lord Ryan Jameson, Sister Ryan Jameson
Siblings: Sister Gabriel Sinclair (born Delilah Clark to Thomas and Elizabeth Harris)
Location: Southwest Region, The Brotherhood’s Institute for Boys
Health Information: No known allergies. Last physical exam revealed no unusual findings.
Benji clicks on my mother’s name, which is apparently linked to her file.
A photo of her populates in the upper left corner, and tears fill my eyes.
It’s her, but she looks so much older. Her eyes lack the fire I knew so well and she doesn’t smile.
It’s like the mother I knew doesn’t exist anymore.
I lean forward further over his shoulder to see the screen better.
Name: Elizabeth Harris (formerly married to Thomas Clark)
Age: Forty-five
Occupation: Maid for Lord Jacob Wright
Location: Northeast Region
Health Information: No longer of childbearing age. No behavioral issues.
“She’s alive,” I whisper, more to myself than anyone. The relief coursing through my veins is enough to make me feel ten times lighter, like I’ve had a few glasses of wine. “My father?” I ask, even though I already know the answer, deep down.
Benji clicks on my father’s name. A photo of his body on our kitchen floor populates in the corner. He’s lying in a pool of his own blood, eyes unseeing.
Name: Thomas Clark
Age: Deceased. Killed for resisting during the Reckoning.
I look away from the screen, but it’s too late—the horrifying image is burned into my brain. My eyes find Maverick’s, who’s already looking at me. “You all right?”
I can’t force the words good or fine past my lips, so I just nod.
“Ben,” Maverick growls, and when I look back at the screen, my father’s file is no longer pulled up.
“Thank you for your help,” I manage to tell Benji before rushing past Maverick and out of the tent.
Zeus pops his head up from where he’s lying in the long grass, his dark eyes tracking my movements. The fresh air helps the impending panic attack, but I still squat down and put my head between my knees, forcing myself to take deep breaths.
I hear Maverick follow me out of the tent, can sense his presence near me, but he doesn’t speak.
For once, I let myself ask the questions that were beaten out of me years ago, the questions I’ve kept buried.
Why did they kill him? Why did any of this happen?
What would my life have looked like if the Brotherhood never took over?
The questions I’ve never allowed myself to ponder, the image of my dad’s lifeless body, knowing the blood I walked through that night was indeed his… it’s all too much.
None of my usual grounding techniques are working. I can’t catch my breath. Everything is spinning.
“Mrs. Sinclair?” Maverick’s voice sounds muffled, like we’re underwater. “Mrs. Sinclair,” he repeats, sitting next to me and placing a hand on my arm.
I look over at him, hyperventilating.
“Hey,” he says. “You okay?”
I shake my head, unable to articulate anything when it feels like I’m drowning.
Without a word, he gathers me into his arms, holding me tightly. “Breathe, Delilah.”
His smell, the steady pressure of his arms around me, and his clear direction all help. I do as he says, and I’m able to take my first deep breath in what feels like ages.
“That’s great,” he encourages. “Again.”
He breathes deep so that our breaths synchronize, our chests rising and falling together. After a few minutes, the panic recedes and I’m able to breathe normally again.
“I’m sorry,” I say. Embarrassment and humiliation creep their way in, making me feel like a child.
“Don’t apologize,” he replies, his thumb stroking back and forth softly on my arm.
We both seem to notice the impropriety of our embrace at the same moment. He clears his throat and releases his grip as I scramble out of his lap, standing and wrapping my arms around myself.
He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
I shrug. “It only confirmed what I already knew.”
“Doesn’t make it any easier to see.”
“Yeah,” I agree, looking down at my feet and trying desperately to keep the image of my father’s body out of my head.
“We can try to get a message to your mother.”
My head snaps up. “Really?”
He holds my gaze. “Of course.”
“How?”
“We have a network of individuals within New Athens.”
Even with my limited knowledge of how the Brotherhood operates, I’m smart enough to understand that being a spy for the Resistance must be extremely risky. “I don’t want to put anyone in danger.”
Something akin to surprise flits across Maverick’s face. “All of our informants know the risks.”
I bite my lip in consideration. What would I even say?
“I’ll think about it.”
Before Maverick can respond, Benji calls out from inside the tent. “Hey, Mav?”
The worry in his tone is obvious, and we rush back into the confined space.
“What is it?”
“We’re getting a video call. From New Athens.” Benji looks visibly shaken.
He and Maverick share a look. “Fuck.”
“Have they ever called you before?” In the short time I’ve been around Maverick, I’ve never seen him even remotely tense. Broody, yes. Legitimately on edge, no.
His eyes find mine. “No.”
Benji gets off his chair and starts gathering supplies. “I’ll tell the others.”
“Tell them what?” I ask as Maverick takes a seat in the chair Benji just vacated.
“We can’t stay here. If we answer, they could pinpoint our location.”
My stomach hollows. “Oh.” Even without modern amenities, this place is clearly a home to so many. And now they’ll have to start over somewhere new. “So don’t answer.”
Maverick shakes his head. “If they were able to contact us, it’s likely they already have an idea of where we are.” He looks at Benji and gives him a solemn nod.
Benji leaves without another word, a black backpack slung over one shoulder. Maverick faces the screen and clicks the green circle to answer the call.