9. Stetson
NINE
Stetson
Riding together was a whole different ballgame after what we’d done last night.
Bryn rode nestled between my legs, every motion pulling her back against me, my arms around her. Her hair smelled like cedar and smoke, a little like me; she kept talking to me about her life, about Ireland, about the damn frogs.
I’d been fine alone all this time. Didn’t realize I hadn’t been happy until now.
Didn’t want this to end.
We stopped to check out another pool off to the edge of the creek, where Bryn found more frogs, recorded calls, collected a few more specimens. After, I fucked her bent over against a tree as the rain fell on the leaves above.
She begged for me to give it to her harder, so I did. Begged for me to come inside her, so I did.
Wondered if she was gonna get pregnant. How that could change things. If she’d leave and I’d never even know, if she’d raise our kid by herself because I was just a convenient stop on the way to something she wanted without me.
“Are you close with your family?” Bryn asked around two in the afternoon when we stopped to eat.
We’d just crossed the western fence line of the property, heading to higher elevation as we climbed toward the aquifer.
It wasn’t far now; we would walk the rest of the way with Buck, while Gage and Neto came by to grab the horses.
Her foot still worried me, but I would carry her if I had to.
“Mm,” I hummed, trying to think about the best way to say this. “Close with my aunt and uncle and cousins. My mom runs the diner in town.”
“And your dad is…”
“The bastard who’s been tryin’ to steal this land ever since he got out of prison,” I said. My eyes flicked up to hers. “Always been an asshole.”
“He was in prison when you were born?”
“Went in right before. Got out when I was six.” I looked out at the water instead of at her. “My mom was seventeen when she met him. He was older. Had a way of gettin’ what he wanted out of people.”
Bryn didn’t move. I wasn’t even sure if she so much as breathed.
“She didn’t want me,” I said, confused as usual over why the hell I was even telling her this.
“Not at first. Not the way it happened. Dad told her things, promised things, made her believe leaving town with him was the only way out of Briar Hill.” I picked at a piece of bark, needing something for my hands to do.
“By the time she figured out what kind of man he was, she was pregnant. He was already gone.”
Bryn’s voice was soft. “Oh Stetson.”
“Man like that doesn’t ask for what he wants. Just arranges things so you think it was your idea.”
She didn’t say anything now—just watched me, giving me room to keep going or stop.
“She raised me alone ‘til Peggy forgave her. They were good friends—Arlo drove a wedge between them. For her part, my mom never made me feel like a mistake, we’re close now…but I always knew where I came from. Knew my whole existence started with a man talkin’ a scared girl into somethin’ she didn’t understand yet. ”
Bryn chewed on her lip. I watched her out of the corner of my eye, trying to get a read on how that all made her feel—if she felt like what she’d asked for was a mistake now.
“Then he went back to prison?” she asked.
I nodded. “Twice, longer and longer stints. Had a kid between every sentence, all boys, all with different mothers.”
“You close with them?”
“Not at all.” I shrugged. “Travis is some kinda fuckin’ hipster out in Nashville, only ever met him once…Cooper is my Arlo’s son through and through, always part of one scheme or another, lives in the area.”
Bryn made a little sound of understanding. “I have six siblings. I’m…right in the middle and stranger than any of them.”
I finally looked up at her. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
"Because I told you about George. And the frog crying. And basically my whole life history in one sitting at a campfire."
"Fair."
She reached across and put her hand over mine, still picking at the same piece of bark.
"For what it's worth," she said, "I don't think you're a mistake. I think your mother made something good out of something bad, and that's not nothing."
"Didn't ask for your opinion."
"Giving it anyway." She laughed. “Get used to it.”
I hated the spark of hope that gave me; the way get used to it felt like a promise that I would have to get used to her.
“I also don’t think you’re like him,” she said.
“But last night I took advantage of a woman who just went through somethin’ and I came inside her when she asked me to put a baby in her.”
Fuck me.
There it was.
But Bryn didn’t react even a little like I expected. She cocked her head and gave me a wry smile. “Ah…so that’s what this is about.”
“Just saying.”
She shoved me gently. “If I’m remembering correctly, I’m the one who seduced you, cowboy.”
I scowled. “Not sure if that counts when you’re a beautiful woman half my age.”
“You can’t be that old.”
“Forty-five.”
“And how old do you think I am?”
I peered at her. “...is this a trick question.”
“Most of my questions are.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Twenty-one.”
“Jesus,” she burst out laughing, that accent coming through strong. “I’m thirty-two, genius. You know I have a doctorate, right?”
“I ain’t an educated man.”
She was still laughing when she said, “Thirteen years. That’s not exactly a scandal, Stetson.”
“Didn’t say scandal.”
“You said half my age. I’m doing the math for you.”
“Math’s not the point.”
“Then what is?”
I peered at her, my smile fading. “Point is I don’t take advantage of people,” I said. “Never have. Wasn’t gonna start with you.”
She got serious too, watching me carefully.
Then: “In that case, I guess I need to prove it.”
“What?”
Her eyes darted down. “Take off your pants.”
“Here?” We were out in the open a little more now; I knew Gage was headed this way. “But—”
Her hands were already on my belt, and whatever objections I had left went quiet the second her hands found what she was after. Buck had the decency to ignore us completely. Gage had the decency not to show up too fast.
Then Bryn took advantage of me instead.