Chapter Seventeen
Blood ran down my left side and I shoved the Lemnian away from me. I hadn’t been injured like this in so long. I was usually able to move faster, hit harder than nearly everyone around me. No one ever got close enough to harm me.
But I had been thinking about Zain. This was why I had initially decided to stay away from him. He was turning out to be the distraction I had feared him to be.
I had just been stabbed. I was still in shock that it had happened. I was only vaguely aware of the crowd booing the Lemnian, of him being dragged off by guards for having broken the pankration rules.
The Lemnian yelled at me, “That’s for Cleomenedes!”
Who? My mind was swimming and I felt dizzy. He must have meant his friend who’d run into my sword.
Zain’s voice sounded far away as he helped me lie down on the ground. “Basileia, are you all right? Look at me.”
I did what he said and looked into his beautiful and angry dark eyes. “He stabbed me.”
“I’m going to kill him.” He made the announcement matter-of-factly, as if discussing the weather with me.
“Isn’t that against your code?”
“Not unless I steal from him first. Which might be a problem because right now I am very tempted to steal his entrails out of his body.”
I became aware of other people around us, reaching out to touch me. I tensed up.
“They are healers,” Zain said, voice soothing. “Loving such a violent sport means Sagaris has the best healers imaginable.”
Someone moved my hand away from my side. I hadn’t even realized it had been there, as if I were trying to keep the blood inside my body by myself. I lifted my left hand up and it was coated in blood.
The healers poured liquids down my throat and I didn’t resist. I could feel my side being cleaned and a warm ointment being applied. It tingled and soothed my skin. The stitches were next but the ointment they’d used lessened the sting.
They wrapped bandages around me and I became aware of men arguing behind me. One of the voices was Zain’s.
“She got stabbed. It isn’t fair,” he said. “She shouldn’t lose her position because someone else cheated.”
“The rules are clear—if a competitor is too injured to continue, then they forfeit.”
“She should be given time to heal and then do the final match.”
Forfeiting sounded nice. This would be over and I could go back to my room and sleep and heal and get ready for the next two events. The points I would earn for coming in second at pankration should be good enough.
But then I heard feminine voices chanting my name.
“Basileia!”
Over and over again.
“Basileia!”
Women who weren’t even supposed to be at the tournament, who had changed something significant through the sheer force of their will.
I wasn’t going to let myself down, nor was I going to let down the women who had come to cheer me on.
They deserved this win as much as I did.
And I would make sure the first tournament they ever attended was won by a woman.
“I’m not forfeiting,” I said as I staggered to my feet. I still felt shaky but my head had started to clear.
“You just got stabbed,” Zain said as he walked over to me.
“Not my first time.”
He didn’t respond to my jest and instead insisted, “You can’t.”
“Yes, I can. No one gets to tell me what to do. I’m fine. I will win.”
He made a sound like a snarl and then pointed out my opponent for the final match. He was an extremely large man, and for a moment, I saw two of him until I blinked and my vision returned to normal.
“You lost a lot of blood,” Zain said, still trying to get me to give up. “You could pass out in the middle of the fight.”
“Then I suppose that giant stone wall who is pretending to be a man will win. But I don’t give up and I won’t give up now.”
“He has defeated every challenger that he’s gone against.”
“So have I,” I reminded him.
“He’s not bleeding.”
“And he’s not battle-favored. I will beat him.”
“What if you don’t?” A note of desperation tinged his voice.
“I will. Trust me.” My side throbbed but I refused to touch it or let anyone know how much pain I was in.
The extremely large man, whom the announcer called Erebus, walked around the stadium with his arms extended. Many cheered, but just as many booed him.
Trying not to limp, I made my way over to where the fight would be.
While Erebus took his bows and accolades, I focused on imagining the fight.
I would need strength and speed to fight someone like him.
I had to catch him off guard. I wondered if he had watched any of my matches. Would he know what he was up against?
And would I be able to stay conscious long enough to win?
Erebus finally deigned to join us. The referee again reminded us of the rules, and there was a hammer pounding loudly in my head. I shook it hard, trying to concentrate.
When the referee began the fight, I wasn’t ready.
But Erebus was.
He rushed at me and I barely stepped out of the way. But his movement had been a feint and he immediately circled to my left and punched my injury as hard as he could.
Everything went black and I couldn’t help but cry out in pain. The stitches came apart and I felt the warm blood seeping down my side. I became aware of some movement to my right and saw that the guards were holding a crazed Zain back.
I needed to hold on long enough to finish this.
Erebus came at me again, punching. I was a bit off. I could feel that I was slower. Not by much, but enough that some of his hits landed past my defense.
I hadn’t planned on trying to hurt him. I only wanted to win.
But he had decided to play dirty by hitting my wound, and I was willing to get into the mud.
Invara, give me strength.
For a moment my mind cleared completely. Erebus rushed me, intending to shove me down.
I allowed him to get his arms around me but then I changed our trajectory. I threw us to the right so that we both hit the ground, hard. I made sure that Erebus’s head took the impact.
Before we had even finished falling, I was on the move, turning and wrapping my legs around him, holding him in place. Then I used my right leg to hold his right ankle behind my knee. I reached back to grab his foot and pulled, pinning him to the ground.
Then I twisted it as hard as I could, and I could hear the tiny, delicate bones in his foot and ankle break.
He roared out in pain.
“Submit,” I said through clenched teeth. I didn’t have long. I kept twisting his foot, making it worse.
Five, ten, twenty seconds later, he finally reached out and patted the ground three times, indicating that he submitted.
I let go of him and fell back. The stadium shouted their approval. The healers were there, turning me on my side, moving my tunic out of the way.
The last thing I saw before I passed out was Zain’s concerned face.
His face was also the first thing I saw when I woke up later.
I was in his bed and he was lying next to me. I looked over and saw that Dagger was sprawled in my cot, having usurped the entire thing.
“How are you feeling?” Zain asked quietly, causing my heartbeat to quicken. I hadn’t realized he was awake.
“Better,” I said. “How did I get in my night tunic?”
“Do you really think that I would pass up the opportunity to see you naked again?” At my expression, he laughed and said, “The healers changed it after they cleaned you up. I wasn’t even in the room.”
Being this close to him, lying in his bed . . . I found that I wouldn’t have cared if he had done it.
“Is Erebus still alive?” I asked.
“For now. That was a cowardly move. Completely dishonorable.”
I raised both of my eyebrows. “I thought you said the point of the fight was to win no matter what. That honor didn’t play a part.”
“That applies to me, not you.” Before I could point out how illogical he was being, he continued. “Erebus is on my list, along with that Lemnian. But unfortunately, I’m still a competitor and I can’t kill the people who very much deserve to die.”
Again I found my chest warming at the idea that he wanted to protect me. No one had ever wanted to protect me. I’d always been on my own.
“I’ve been wondering something since the fight,” he said softly, as if he’d managed to calm himself down. “How did the Lemnian stab you? I’ve seen you move. You should have been able to anticipate the attack.”
I was too tired to construct a wall that would keep him out. “I was thinking about you.”
He inhaled a sharp breath and I watched the different expressions as they crossed his face. “And I was a distraction. I don’t want to be a distraction for you.”
It didn’t matter if he wanted it or not—it was happening. I was certain it would happen again.
“Is that why you’ve been fighting what exists between us?” he asked.
Zain was being very blunt. “Why? Were you planning on trying to talk me out of it?”
“No, I just want to understand.”
And even though I knew he was a liar, I believed him.
He added, “I am not a novice, and while I don’t wish to sound arrogant, I know when a woman wants me.”
Of course he knew I wanted him. How could he not? I hadn’t done a very good job of hiding it.
Earlier today I had lightheartedly accused him of not being up-front as a Thracian or Daemonian would.
It would make me a hypocrite if I were to avoid being up-front with him now. I would give him the complete truth. “You are different than other men I’ve been with. Before it was all very straightforward and there were no games.”
“I’m not playing games with you, illora.
Other than the official ones we’re competing in for the tournament.
” He somehow managed to edge closer, his leg very nearly touching mine.
My heart sped up at the thought that he might be naked under that blanket.
“You’re not used to men saying nice things to you. Complimenting you.”
“No.”
He studied me in the moonlight, his dark eyes glittering. “What else?”
How did he know there was more? I expelled a shaky breath, fighting off the nerves I felt. “I worry that . . . that this could be more. That at some point I . . . could have real feelings for you.”
He went completely still.
Feelings that I’d told my mother didn’t exist. I couldn’t ever tell her about this. I’d never hear the end of it. “In a few days we’re never going to see each other again, so it’s better to not start something that has to end.”
And for the first time since I’d known him, Zain fell silent.
Which left me feeling awkward as I realized that he hadn’t told me the same—that he thought he might be able to return those feelings someday.
I rushed to fill the quiet. “Don’t forget about the fact that you’re a thief and a liar. It could never work between us.”
I’d been trying to make a joke, but it had somehow come out sounding brokenhearted.
We lay together in that silence and my heart thudded so loudly I was certain he could hear it.
I saw the knot in his throat bob, and then he said in a low voice, “I’m supposed to change your bandage. Will you let me?”
It felt like he was asking for something else. I nodded, my chest feeling tight. He reached over to his right side to get some bandages from a table. When he turned back, I tugged my tunic up so that he could get to the injury just above my hip and undergarment.
He swallowed hard again and then went to work. I was surprised by how quick and efficient he was. His fingers never stayed in one spot for too long, always on the move.
“There.”
He finished and lay back down. I still had my tunic bunched up around my breasts.
“Thank you,” I said. This was dangerous. “I’m going to get back in my cot.”
“Stay,” he said. “It’s more comfortable here. And everyone already thinks we share a bed.”
“So we should share one to make the rumors true?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Then they’d be telling the truth instead of lying, and I know how important it is to you that people be truthful. I’m only thinking of you, illora.”
“Have I spent too much time with you or does that make a strange kind of sense?”
He laughed, but his laughter died down as his gaze followed the outline of my torso, and I clenched my tunic tighter. Perhaps I should have put it back down but I liked him looking at me.
Liked the hunger in his eyes.
Maybe he didn’t think he could love me but he definitely desired me.
“Have you thought about me touching you?” he asked in a husky tone. “What it would feel like?”
My breathing turned irregular, fast and shallow. I had thought of little else since I’d met him.
“Because I’ve thought about it. Thought about running my hands all over every warm and soft part of your body.”
The blood in my veins went molten with anticipation.
He moved closer again and now his legs were pressed against mine. His right hand went on the bed between us. Then he asked, “Would it be all right if I touched you?”