Chapter 13 Faolan
THIRTEEN
FAOLAN
The second our eyes met, I knew I couldn’t leave her side until she was safe behind the walls of the palace in the First Kingdom. What became of me from there would be up to the Goddess, but at least she would be safe.
She set her jaw, staring down my dragon like it was nothing.
She would make a good ryder, that much was clear.
She smiled, and maybe it was because she was a daughter of Light or perhaps it was her potential powers shining through, but she had a glow around her that made her even more radiant than when I’d first seen her.
Her hair shone in the moonlight, the dark black of it lightly curled and in stark contrast to her ivory skin.
A sun-kissed sprinkling of freckles dusted her cheeks and nose, and she was the most beautiful creature I’d ever laid eyes upon.
I exhaled and changed back to my fae body, holding her eyes still. After a moment, she dropped her gaze down my figure, and for the first time in my many years of shifting carelessly in front of all manner of fae, I was acutely aware of my nudity.
It felt good to have her attention linger before lifting back to my eyes.
Arousal burned in my stomach, and my cock twitched.
I bit my tongue so as not to ask her if she liked what she saw.
I couldn’t go there. Not only would that make our situation much worse, but she was meant for the future king, and somehow, I didn’t think defiling her when I was tasked with protecting her would go over well.
If anything were to get me hunted to the ends of the known realms, it would be taking what is promised to an heir.
As the feeling of attraction washed over me, her scent reached me, and I went cold with something heavier. Something way more than attraction that could not be ignored.
Goddess spare me, this could not be happening.
What had I done that was worthy of this punishment? Other than abandoning my homeland and my family, of course, and I guess you could say a thousand other indiscretions that might add up over time…but honestly…A MATE?
The betrothed of the heir, no less. A female I could never have in any way.
No. I had to have it wrong. After all, what experience did I have with such things? I was purely attracted to an objectively stunning female, and my body was reacting accordingly. And if her looks at me were anything to go by, it was a mutual attraction. Nothing more.
She was betrothed, yes. But she was not yet officially in the hands of her fiancé.
They had not met. She was surely free to have attractions?
Who would even know if we were to find a moment to sate them on our long voyage back to the First?
Dragons. Dragons would scent it immediately.
But no one else ever needed to if that were something she was up for…
Guilt twisted in my gut.
Faolan, shut the fuck up!
I couldn’t do that to her. Not knowing I was definitely leaving.
She had to know, at least in part, that there was a feeling of connection between us.
There was no doubt in my mind she wouldn’t take no for an answer if she knew what the feelings meant, either.
If she thought for a minute she was a ryder, she would demand we fulfill our bond, it was written all over her face.
She had the look of adventure about her, and I could sense it called to her like it called to me.
But as the daughter of a duke, destined to be Queen, her sense of civic duty would no doubt demand we serve the crown as all dragons and ryders are supposed to.
I had to make sure no one told her. If she could never put a name to it, she would never know the solution either.
She stepped towards me, transfixed. “I’m—”
I cut her off. “Maiden.” I inclined my head in a bow as I spoke. “No need to trouble yourself with pleasantries. I am merely part of the royal guard.”
I had to distance myself completely. I would escort the ship back to the First Kingdom, but I had to stay away from her. It wasn’t fair to her.
“But—”
“It was nothing but my duty.” I knew she wasn’t thanking me, but I played it off as such. “Please direct all your thanks to the general and the King.” I gave her another bow and turned to find some damn clothes.
She let out a frustrated sound I only heard because of my sensitive hearing.
I threw up walls, shielding my mind to make sure none of her thoughts bled through.
As a noble raised in this society, she should have the proper shielding training to not leave her exposed to those with mind magic, but I wasn’t taking the risk.
The last thing I needed was to be tempted to find her chambers.
Kol ran after me, grabbing my arm. “Where were you?” he sounded angry or upset.
“I left.” I shrugged out of his grasp.
“Why?” he demanded, jogging along beside me.
“She’s my ryder,” I said simply.
Kol stopped in his tracks. I kept walking, not even sure where I was heading. He caught back up with me and grabbed my arm again. “Excuse me. Who?”
“The Daughter of Light. The one meant for the heir.”
“Calytrix?!”
“Don’t say her name.” I squeezed my eyes closed.
“You’re serious?”
I nodded and stopped, knowing I should be helping Nyx and the duke’s guard secure the surrounding areas and make sure none of the undead were missed, not be here stewing about something I have no control over.
“That’s not good,” Kol murmured.
“No fucking kidding.” I turned on him. “You know him. What do you think the heir will do to me when he finds out?”
“Kill you,” Kol said with certainty.
“Exactly. Nyx seems to think everyone will just accept it, and she and I will seamlessly fit into the legion, and the future King will allow it.”
Kol snorted. “Arkyn doesn’t share.”
“Most King's don’t. I’m not going to stick around for my own funeral.”
“I don’t blame you.” Kol rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.
“You shifted,” I said to Kol to get the attention off of myself.
“I know.” Kol looked queasy about the whole thing.
“You good?” I asked, wanting to check in but knowing he was done with coddling.
He lifted his shoulders, rubbing a spot on his chest absentmindedly. “Undecided.”
Another tattoo? How many did he have? While most of it was gone, light green pigment still held at least some of the magic in place. I can’t imagine what it would be like to fight against magic like that.
“Hey, at least you were able to when it mattered.” Something inside me wanted to thank him for saving my—her. But I absolutely would not put that into words.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it again.”
I frowned. “I’m sure you will.”
Kol hesitated, then said under his breath, “It doesn’t feel right.”
“What doesn’t feel right?” I asked, leaning in to hear him better.
“My dragon. I feel disconnected when I’m in that form.”
“What do you mean?” I’d never heard anything like that in all my days.
“I can’t describe it any better than that. Like—maybe I don’t have full control—or I’m not myself.”
I winced, trying to stop it as it happened, but knowing it was too late, and Kol had already seen it. “That’s not good.”
“I can’t—” Kol cut himself off as Nyx approached.
“There you two are. Can you help us secure the palace?”
“Of course,” I said on behalf of us both.
Nyx would know Kol was out of sorts, but I felt the need to protect him for some reason.
I had to get a grip. I was not here to make friends and tie myself down further to that damned kingdom.
Every day that went by seemed to give me more to care about leaving behind, and I couldn’t stand it.
We secured the palace and its inhabitants, leaving Kol to guard the prince and the sisters.
“I’m concerned about leaving him,” Nyx admitted as we left the gates of the palace to assess what lay beyond. I saw the desperate concern in his eyes.
“Listen, I don’t know Kol well, but he seems like he is doing okay with everything.”
Nyx scoffed.
Zaria clasped Nyx’s arm in support of her mate. “I think Faolan is right, Nyx. He is coping better than you think.”
“Then why is he rejecting me?” Nyx bellowed, immediately showing regret for snapping at his mate.
He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head, holding her for a long moment.
I had to assume he was whispering his apologies into her mind since no words crossed his lips. But they both seemed to relax.
“I don’t want to speak for him,” I said tentatively, “But maybe he’s just afraid that you won’t accept this new version of him.”
Nyx lifted his eyes to me over Zaria’s head. “I will accept any version of him there is,” he sighed. “I just want my brother back.”
I could see his desperation. I wanted to help. “Maybe stop trying to protect him and heal him and just start treating him like the old Kol. Then he might remember how to be him.” I shrugged.
Nyx nodded slowly, as if he was finally hearing what I was sure I couldn’t be the only one to have told him. Zaria looked grateful I had offered advice from an outsider’s perspective.
I scanned our surroundings. “We need to take a look around. Should we split up? I can fly out and take a look at those ships while you check the city for any undead that escaped the fire,” I suggested. Well aware that Nyx was the general here, but also that he was dealing with things right now.
“Sounds good, but don’t be long. Just look. Do not try and land on any of the vessels. Meet straight back here,” Nyx ordered.
I dipped my head in confirmation and stripped off the pants I’d only just found.
I stashed them, determined not to be caught naked in her presence again, and shifted, taking to the sky and heading out to the bay.
Nyx and Zaria flew the opposite way, taking in the carnage in the docks and the beginnings of the city.
I was afraid to hear what destruction the undead had wrought on an unprepared city, but my thoughts were halted abruptly when I took in the sight of the bay.