2. Candice
CANDICE
“U gh!” I moan, the moment I wake and try to swallow. My throat hurts so bad. Come to think of it, so does my head. I feel like I’ve been hit by a freight train. I roll onto my side, tucking the blankets around my chin. Why am I naked? My brain seems foggy.
“Jax,” I breathe as my eyes spring open. I groan from the pain as I quickly roll over, and my heart drops when I see that the spot where he was lying last night is now empty. He’s gone .
I’m pretty sure I just threw up a little in my mouth, as I hastily toss back the blankets and get out of bed. Shit. The aniseed taste in the back of my throat makes my stomach recoil.
I lean over and place my hand on the side of the mattress trying to find my feet when the room spins. I’m never drinking again.
“Clothes, clothes,” I mutter to myself, turning in a circle and scanning the floor. I can’t go downstairs naked.
Scooping up the denim skirt and pink singlet I wore yesterday, I quickly dressed before hurrying out of my room. I’m minus my underwear, but I don’t have time for that. This is an emergency. I cup my bouncing boobs in my hands as I run down the stairs.
Maybe Jax is having coffee in the kitchen with Sophia.
Please let that be the case. He’s stayed over countless times when we’ve fallen asleep watching movies, but last night was the first time he’s been in my bed.
I know my mother well enough to know she’ll think nothing of it.
She knows we’re just friends, or should I say were.
I have no idea what we are now, but I hope it’s something. Please let us be something .
From the second I laid eyes on Jax, I knew he was special. He’s like no one I’ve ever known. We fit like two pieces of a puzzle. I’ve secretly wanted more since the day we became friends, but until last night, he never seemed interested in me in that way.
“Morning,” Sophia says when I rush into the kitchen.
“Is Jax here?” I ask in a panic.
She lifts one shoulder. “I haven’t seen him.” Crap. Breaking into a run, I head for our usual hangouts. “Don’t forget your hairdresser’s appointment today,” Sophia yells to my retreating back. She’s delusional if she thinks I’m going.
When I enter the games room, I find it empty.
God, please be here somewhere . If he’s left without so much as a goodbye after what we did last night, I’ll be crushed.
He has a bit of a reputation with the ladies; I hear all the girls raving about him at school.
I hate it, but I guess I have one thing they’ll never have—his friendship.
Crossing the room and pushing open the French doors that lead to the back patio, my shoulders slump when I find no sign of him.
A sick feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. He’s gone. He took my virginity and left. How could I be so stupid? I should’ve left things the way they were. Now I’ve ruined everything. What was I thinking ?
“Is everything okay?” Sophia asks when I walk back into the kitchen with my shoulders slumped. “You look like someone’s kicked your puppy.”
“I don’t have a puppy,” I snap.
“It’s a figure of speech, honey.”
“I know.” I slouch onto one of the bar stools and bury my head in my hands.
“Hey, baby,” she says with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I lie over a sob as the first tears start to fall.
Sophia comes to stand beside me, her hand tenderly rubbing my back. “Did you two have a fight?”
“No.” We had sex . Naturally, I don’t say that part.
“What’s with all the tears then?” she asks, cupping my face. “Is this about him going away to university?”
“I don’t want him to go.” It’s the truth, but it has nothing to do with my tears. I can’t tell her what happened last night. She’s a pretty cool mum, but if she finds out what Jax and I did, I can practically guarantee she won’t let me go visit him while he’s away at uni.
My birth not only robbed Sophia of her youth, it ended her high aspirations for a successful modelling career. That’s something she has drummed into my head since I was little. She’s petrified I’ll make the same mistakes.
Before I was born, she was alone. She had no support, and nobody to reach out to. My grandmother tragically passed away in a car accident when Sophia was only nine.
If that wasn't bad enough, her life changed dramatically when her father remarried.
She never got on with her stepmother, and over the years she managed to drive a huge wedge between my mother and my grandfather.
Sophia was kicked out of her home when she was seventeen and has had no contact with them since.
Thankfully her modelling jobs at the time paid enough to support her.
Sophia was only nineteen when she fell pregnant with me.
My father—or, more accurately, sperm donor—was the CEO of a large mining company.
They met on the set of a modelling job she was hired to do for his firm.
He swept her off her feet, showering her with expensive gifts and exotic weekends away. She was besotted.
Their tumultuous affair lasted three months and ended abruptly the moment my conception was discovered.
He’d forgotten to mention the fact that he was already engaged to be married to a rival mogul’s billionaire daughter.
News of his affair and my impending birth would’ve ruined his chances of merging their thriving corporation with his own.
He’s provided for us financially over the years, I’ll give him that much.
We have wanted for nothing. He even bought us this big-arse house.
It wasn’t because he cared though. It was more like hush money, to keep my mum quiet.
As much as I’ve struggled to come to terms with our circumstances over the years, I know deep down we’re better off without him.
But I’m not going to lie, it hurts me deeply to know my own father wants nothing to do with me.
“It’s not the end of the world,” Sophia says, pulling me into her arms and stroking my hair. “You’ll still get to see him on holidays and weekends.”
“It’s not the same, and you know it.”
“You have other friends … what about Jasmine and Bianca?”
“They’re stuck-up bitches. I can’t stand them.” We were friends before Jax and I started hanging out together, but I never truly fitted in with them. That was my fake life. The true me didn’t come out until I met Jax.
“Since when?”
“Since I realised how shallow and self-centred, they are. They’re nothing like me. I don’t fit in with them … I’m different,” I ramble. “The only person who gets me is Jax.”
“I’ve always thought there was something special between you two. You seem like the perfect match.”
Her words only break my heart further. We are perfect for each other, but he doesn’t see it that way. The fact he’s not here, right now, speaks volumes.
I’m such a fool. I’ve stood by for years watching Jax pick up, screw and then discard other girls, but I never guessed I’d be one of them.
In my heart, I thought going all the way with him would change things between us—move our friendship to the next level.
I was hoping he’d finally see me in a different light.
Not just as his buddy, but something more.
Maybe I disappointed him.
Maybe he just doesn’t want me in that way.
Maybe the whole stupid beauty pageant thing turned him off. I wish I hadn’t confessed that now; he probably thinks I’m conceited like all the others.
I spend the rest of the day locked in my room, beside myself with worry.
I move back and forth between despair and anger so many times I’m surprised I haven’t given myself whiplash.
I must’ve checked my phone a thousand times, hoping to see a message from him …
anything, but there was nothing. I’m tempted to text or call him, but I don’t think my heart could survive another blow today.
By late afternoon, I can’t take it anymore. He leaves for uni tomorrow and I have to see him before he goes. I want to know where we stand, but more than anything I need to know we’re okay. I don’t want to lose him over this.
After showering and dressing in a pair of cut-off denim shorts, a white fitted tee and my favourite pink Converse sneakers, I drive over to his house. My stomach is in knots by the time I arrive. I rarely come here, because Jax prefers to be at my place. His family are weird, so I totally get that.
My hands are shaking when I knock on the front door. Please don’t let things be awkward between us . I don’t care if we forget last night ever happened. I just don’t want to lose his friendship. I couldn’t live without it.
“What the hell did you do to your hair?” Jax’s brother, Brent, says when he answers the door. I’ve never really liked him. He’s a pretentious prick, just like the rest of his mates. I can’t believe he and Jax are related. “You look like a fucking Easter egg.”
My hands instantly go to my hips. “It’s just a colour, it can be changed, but if I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents.”
“Hah,” he grumbles. “My brother has turned you into a weirdo, just like him. You used to be cool.”
“It’s a good thing that I don’t give a flying fuck what you think then, isn’t it?”
“You can pretend you hate me all you want, but we both know that’s not true.”
I lift one shoulder. “I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support machine to charge my phone.”
“Bitch.”
My hands remain on my hips as I stare him down. I refuse to let this jerk get the better of me. “I bet your arse is jealous of the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth.”
“Very funny, freak.”
I could stand here all damn night and throw insults at this douchebag—it’s kind of fun—but he’s not worth the breath.
Besides, the only freak here is him; there’s nothing wrong with me, or Jax for that matter.
He’s just as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside.
He has a unique style, which, sadly, is frowned upon in our circle.
I love him for his individuality: his dreamy chocolate-brown bedroom eyes, his just-fucked messy brown hair and panty-melting smile.
Every girl at school wants to bed him, and I hate to admit that, unfortunately, most have.
I’m pretty sure the disdain Brent holds for Jax is ninety-nine per cent jealousy because as much as he tries, he’ll never hold a candle to his brother.
I take in Brent’s perfectly styled, slicked-back hair and stupid polo shirt. His facial features are similar to Jax’s, but their personalities are miles apart. Brent is a cocky, stuck-up dickhead who thinks he’s better than everyone, and Jax is just … kind-hearted, nice and the essence of cool.
“Is Jax here or not?” I snap.
“Not,” he replies, folding his arms over his chest like the smug arsehole he is.
“Do you know when he’ll be home?”
He chuckles. “In about four years.”
“What? He’s left for uni already? He wasn’t supposed to go until tomorrow.”
“He packed his things into the car this morning and drove away. You probably scared him off with that ridiculous hair. Good riddance, I say.”
I could seriously slap this guy right now. I’ve always hated the way Jax’s family treated him. He’s too good for them, and they could learn a thing or two from him if they just gave him half the chance.
“Great brother you are.”
“You don’t need someone like him in your life. The sooner you learn that the better off you’ll be. Tell you what, I’m home alone … you’re more than welcome to come inside and suck my cock if you like.”
I take a step in his direction, and I see a smile play on his lips.
He is up himself if he thinks I’d even entertain the idea.
“Suck on this, arsehole,” I growl as I grab hold of his crotch and squeeze with all my might.
“You’d be lucky if you were half the man your brother is, and by the feel of it, you’re not even a quarter. ”
I release him from my death grip when he lets out a high-pitched squeal. That’ll teach him for thinking he can speak to me like that.
Turning, I run down the stairs. Tears cloud my eyes as I head for my car. I refuse to break down in front of that twat.
I’m hurt, and angry. I feel used and dirty.
My heart is completely shattered.
How could Jax leave without saying goodbye?