14. Jax
JAX
I was so close to kissing her just now, and the way she abruptly pulled away makes me think she knew it too.
There’s something about the way she is with Maddie that undoes me.
Maybe it’s the thought of her one day being a mother.
Christ, I dread that day. Will she still have room in her life for me once she’s married with children?
I don’t even want to let my mind go there.
Candice sits down on the sofa with her little sister, giving her time to wake up properly, and I set about packing all her toys back into the bag. Heading into the kitchen, I rinse her sippy cup and refill it with apple juice.
“How did things go at the shop today?” I ask when I return to the lounge room.
“Good. All the new stock I ordered arrived.”
“Did the boys behave?” Gus is a prankster and seems to be at his worst when I’m not around.
“They were okay.”
I pass the sippy cup to Maddie. “Ta,” she says over a yawn, looking up at me with sleepy eyes and a small smile. Apart from the puppy fiasco, we had a great day.
“Can you pass me Maddie’s pink cardigan, it should be in the bag, and her shoes?” Candice asks. “We probably should get going.”
Handing her the cardigan, she slips Maddie’s arms inside while I crouch down and slide her pink sandals on her feet. Maddie is the first kid I’ve ever been around, so her tiny hands and feet fascinate me. When I stand, I find Candice grinning.
“What?”
“I’ve just never seen this side of you before.”
“What side?” I ask as my brow furrows.
“The way you dote on Maddie. It’s very sweet.”
Shoving my hands into my pockets, I shrug. “I take my uncle role seriously.”
“You’re cute,” she says, placing Maddie on her feet.
“I’m not, cute.”
“Yes, you are,” she says, poking me in the side. She laughs when I slap her hand away.
Maddie runs over to the table, picking up her cap. “Look, Sissy, hat.”
“Wow. Did Uncle Jax buy you that pretty hat?” Candice side-eyes me as she speaks.
Maddie nods as she slips it on her head.
She’s smiling again as she leans down to scoop Maddie into her arms. Passing me on her way to the door, she whispers, “I rest my case, cutie-pie.”
“I’m not a cutie-pie,” I growl.
“Walk,” Maddie says as we head down the street towards the Italian restaurant. Candice places her down and reaches for her hand. My heart melts when she moves between us and reaches for my hand as well.
It feels oddly … nice, as the three of us walk hand in hand. Like we’re a real family, and for a moment I even let my mind linger on that possibility.
“Should we order something for you to take home to Sophia?” I ask as we look over the menu.
“No, she won’t eat it. She doesn’t get these migraines often, but when she does they knock her on her arse. I made her a sandwich when I went home at lunchtime, but she didn’t want it. I hate seeing her like this.”
“Can the doctor give her anything?”
“No. Bed rest in a dark room is the only thing that seems to help. She’ll come good tomorrow, or the next day.”
Once we’ve finished eating, Candice takes Maddie to the bathroom to clean her up.
She’s covered in pasta sauce. She made a mess of herself and I chuckle when I think of the piece of spaghetti that was in her hair.
Usually, she lets Candice feed her, but tonight she wanted to do it herself.
She must’ve gained her independence at lunch with the rice.
The waitress approaches the table with the bill, so I pull my credit card out and pass it to her.
“Did you enjoy your meal?” she asks.
“We did. Thank you.” I look at the crap all over the table. “Sorry about the mess.”
“It’s no bother. You have a lovely family. My kids used to make a mess like that when they were little.”
I just smile and don’t bother correcting her.
I kind of like that she thought we were a family, which is all types of crazy.
I learnt a long time ago that there’s no point wishing for something you can never have.
My family weren’t the best role models. They certainly never inspired me to have a family of my own.
If anything, they turned me off the idea.
The waitress’s comment makes me wonder about Maddie’s dad. Is he absent from her life, just like Candice’s father? I’ve yet to hear any mention of him.
When we reach my place, I run inside to get Maddie’s things while Candice straps her into the booster seat. Maddie made me carry her all the way home and she almost fell asleep on my shoulder. It’s been a big day.
I pass Candice the bag and she places it on the floor inside the car.
Bending slightly, I look into the back seat. “Bye, Peanut.”
Maddie gives me a weak smile as her eyelids slowly close. She’ll be asleep before Candice even gets out of the street.
“Thanks again for today,” Candice says as she closes the back door and turns to face me.
“You don’t need to thank me.”
“I do. I would’ve been screwed if it wasn’t for you.”
“That’s what uncles are for.”
“You really are taking your uncle role seriously.”
I lift one shoulder. “I may not want kids of my own, but this is the next best thing.”
“Right.” She lets out a small laugh as she tucks a strand of pink hair behind her ear. She seems nervous. I hope she doesn’t think I’m going to kiss her. As much as I’d like to, she knows as well as I do that’s not going to happen.
“Does Maddie ever see her father?”
“Why would you ask that?” Her eyes widen slightly.
I shrug. “I’m just curious. You guys have never mentioned him.”
She pauses briefly before shaking her head.
I know talking about her father has always been a sore point for Candice.
“It’s a long, complicated mess,” she says as she looks away.
I don’t bother prying any further, because I can see it’s making her uncomfortable.
It’s none of my business anyway. “I should get going. Maddie’s tired, and I still need to bathe her. ”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You will.”
I shove my hands into my pockets as we stand there in silence.
For some reason, I don’t know what to say or do.
It’s funny, ninety-nine per cent of the time we’re completely comfortable in each other’s presence, but then there’s that one per cent, like now, when I don’t know how to act.
What I’d like to ask her is how her date with Carter went last night, but I’m in no way prepared for her answer.
Stepping forward, she surprises me when she wraps her arms around my waist. “Night, Jax.”
Closing my eyes, I fold her in my arms and inhale her sweet apple scent as I lean down to place a soft kiss on her hair. “Goodnight, Candice,” I say as I let her go and retreat a few steps.
The smile she gives me before she turns away almost seems sad.
I’m still standing on the footpath minutes after her car has disappeared around the corner. I’ve gotten used to being on my own, but for some reason, I feel lost and completely alone.
I thought I’d have another sleepless night, but surprisingly, I didn’t. I think looking after Maddie yesterday wore me out. Pulling out my phone on the walk to work, I text Candice.
Me: How’s Sophia this morning?
She replies almost immediately.
Candice: Still not well. I was just about to call you. Can I bring Maddie to work today? I’ll make sure she doesn’t get in the way. Otherwise, I’m not going to be able to come in.
The tattoo parlour is no place for kids, but Maddie is family and I know she’s a good girl. Plus, I need Candice there today. She keeps everything running smoothly.
Me: Bring her with you. I can help keep an eye on her when I’m not with clients.
Candice: This is why I love you. See you soon. x
Her reply has my breath hitching in my throat. I swear I reread her message a hundred times before sliding my phone back into my pocket. I know she only said it in jest, but nobody has ever told me they loved me before. My family never did love; it was too real for their fake-arse lives.
Stopping at the bakery, I grab Beau his usual. I spot a little pink cupcake in the display case. “I’ll get one of those too, thanks,” I say, pointing to the one I want. Maddie has a sweet tooth like me, so I know she’ll love it.
I head towards the shop with my purchases.
I feel for Beau. Someone his age should be in the prime of his life, not living on the streets and begging for food.
Beau is usually waiting for me on the other side of the street each morning.
He’s become accustomed to me now, so I’m surprised when I don’t see him.
It’s just after eight and I don’t have time to wait around so I cross the road, heading into the park.
It doesn’t take long for me to find him. Concern fills me when I see him sitting on the park bench with his head in his hands.
“Beau, is everything okay?” When he glances up at me, my heart skips a beat. “Shit, what happened to you?” I ask, crouching down in front of him.
“Some young thugs out for a good time,” he answers.
Rage fills me as I look over his battered face. What sort of lowlife would do something like this for fun? He’s a poor, defenceless, old man. He wouldn’t even have anything worth stealing.
“Jesus. Come, let’s get you looked at,” I say standing and extending my hand to him.
“I don’t want to see a doctor … I hate doctors. As far as I’m concerned, they’re a bunch of quacks.”
“You need to see somebody.” He has a large gash on his head that looks like it’s going to need stitches.
“I’ll be fine,” he says, flicking his hand to dismiss my suggestion.
“I’m not leaving you like this, Beau. At least come over to my shop and let me clean you up.”
“You do enough for me already.” He looks up at me with his kind eyes—well, one of them, the other is practically swollen shut.