19. Candice #2
He clears his throat before snatching the bottle of Sambuca out of my hand. “You can carry your own damn glass.”
Shaking my head, I follow him into the lounge room. “Pussy,” I mumble under my breath.
“I heard that.”
I snicker because he was meant to hear it. Once he’s seated, I move to the opposite end of the sofa. Distance is always a good thing when we’re alone, especially when there’s alcohol involved. I’ve got to say, though, it’s nice to be here with him. It’s just like old times.
We down a few more shots and seem to relax as we laugh and talk about everything and nothing. I’ve missed my best friend.
“So, I didn’t know you went to Vegas.”
There’s a lot he doesn’t know. So much happened in the time we were separated. It was tough.
“We spent a few weeks in LA. We took Maddie to Disneyland.” That was the excuse Sophia used to get me to go with them, but I knew it was her way of trying to bring me out of the dark hole I’d fallen into. “Since we were so close to Vegas, Sophia wanted to visit there before we left to come home.”
“I bet Peanut loved Disney,” he says.
“She did, but she was too young to appreciate it. I’d love to take her back when she’s a bit older.”
“You love her, don’t you?”
“Of course, I adore her. She’s…” I let my words drift off. She’s my life is not what Jax needs to hear.
“She’s cute. I bet you looked exactly like that when you were a little girl.”
I shrug and lift my glass to my mouth. “The Crawford genes are strong.”
“They certainly are.”
“Why do you call Maddie Peanut?” I ask. I don’t feel comfortable talking about this with him. I have no filter when I drink, and I don’t want to slip up.
“Snoopy … Peanut,” he replies like it’s obvious.
“She loves that damn Puppy.”
“Did she tell you we lost it the day I looked after her?”
My eyes widen. “No, she didn’t. She would’ve been devastated.”
“She was. Worst fucking hour of my life,” he says.
I feel for him because I know how upset she would’ve been.
“She did tell me that you hosed the shit off her arse though.” I laugh. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“Seriously. What do you feed that kid? It was either hose her arse or vomit all over her. I thought the hose was the best option.”
I burst out laughing. I remember how much I struggled to change her nappies when she was first born, but I got used to it in no time.
“Fill me up,” I say, holding my shot glass out to him. After topping up mine, he refills his own. The alcohol seems to be working, but it’s only a short-term solution to this problem. “I’m sorry that your family let you down again.”
He shrugs. “As far as they’re concerned, I no longer exist, so it doesn’t surprise me.”
“I hate them so much.”
A sad smile tugs at his lips. “It is what it is,” he says. “I should be used to it by now.”
He tries to brush it off, but I know it bothers him. Scooting closer, I place my hand on his leg. “It would’ve been a terrible wedding anyway. Your mum, your dad, Brent, and all their stuck-up guests.” I shiver just thinking about it. “You know as well as I do, you would’ve had a terrible time.”
“It would’ve been worse than torture,” he replies, and I have to agree. Resting his empty glass on his upper thigh, he slumps back into the sofa. “It would’ve been nice to be invited though.”
“Fuck them. They don’t deserve you anyway. You’ll always have us. We love you. You know that right?”
His eyes move to me. “I struggled with life after I left, Candice. I was so lost without you.” When his voice cracks, I lean in and wrap him in my arms.
“I felt like that too. It was like a part of me was missing. I don’t want to ever feel like that again.”
He slides his arms around my waist and squeezes me tight. “You mean the world to me, I hope you know that. You’re all I have.”
I pull back and run my hand down the side of his face. “You have a beautiful soul, Jaxson Albright, and if your family can’t see that, then they’re fucked in the head.”
The corners of his lips tug up, but it’s the look in his eyes that makes my heart start to race.
I know that look. It’s the look he always gives me just before we kiss.
The wise thing to do would be to pull away, but I can’t.
I want this so much. I haven’t stopped thinking about his lips since he kissed me in the garage.
He’s an exceptionally good kisser. Every time his mouth touches mine, something inside me awakens.
It’s electrifying, and the currents it sends shooting through my body bring all my nerve endings back to life.
Nobody has ever been able to make me feel the way he does. Nobody . I made out with a ton of guys when I was in high school, and I kissed Carter, and that guy at the club a few weeks back, and none of them came close to making me feel a fraction of what Jax does.
I inhale a sharp breath and hold it as Jax’s face inches closer. My eyes remain open because I don’t want to miss a second of what’s about to come. Before our lips meet, he freezes and disappointment floods me.
He sighs before he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. “You drive me crazy, Candice. I want to kiss you so bad right now.”
“Kiss me then,” I breathe.
“It’s not a wise move.”
“It’s a brilliant move,” I counter.
“It’s what comes after that worries me.”
I draw back and cup his face in my hands. “You’re never going to lose me. Never. I lost you once, and I won’t let it happen again. I can’t live without you in my life, Jax.”
“Candice,” he murmurs as his hand slides into my hair. “Why can’t I resist you?”
I can’t answer that question because he has the same effect on me. I’ve wanted him from the moment he bombed his brother and his mates in that pool.
For a split second, I think he’s going to say we can’t do this, but then he surprises me by tugging my face forward. The moment our lips collide, my heart starts to sing.
He groans into my mouth when I throw my leg over his lap to straddle him and deepen the kiss.
His hands move down to my arse to draw my body closer until it’s flush with his.
I feel his erection pressing against me.
I’m filled with conflicting emotions. I’ve spent the last three years fantasising about being with him again, but it also frightens the hell out of me.
What will happen tomorrow?
Will he run again?
I know my heart couldn’t take another blow like that.
Pulling out of the kiss, his hooded eyes meet mine. “I want you so bad.”
“I want you too, but I’m scared, Jax.”
“Don’t be. You know I’d never hurt you.”
Tears sting my eyes. “You’ve already done that, remember?”
“I’m sorry.” His grip on me tightens. “Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted.”
“If we do this, are you going to run again?”
“No.” There is so much conviction in his words.
“I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I want you to make love to me. I need to feel that connection with you again.”
“I don’t make love, Candice, I fuck.”
“Fuck me then.”
A primal growl rumbles deep in his chest as he grinds his rock-hard cock against the coarse fabric of my jeans.
I slide my trembling fingers into his hair as my mouth crashes into his.
I may be making the biggest mistake of my life, but I’m not going to overanalyse the situation.
I want to enjoy this moment with him, because it may very well be our last.
We make out for what seems like an eternity. Our hands, our mouths, and our tongues are everywhere. We can’t seem to get enough of each other. He suddenly stands, lifting me with him. “Wrap your legs around me,” he commands as he starts moving across the room.
I’m trembling with anticipation as I nip and suck on his neck. His fingers dig painfully into my arse cheeks as he carries me down the hallway towards his bedroom.
The look of hunger in his eyes as he lays me down on the bed is so hot, that I swear my panties disintegrate. Poof.
“I’ve waited years to have you again, and I can’t deny myself any longer. I crave you , Candice.”
Bring it on, Mr Albright . Bring it on!
His warm breath dances over my skin, making it pebble with goosebumps, as his tongue travels a path up my neck.
He sucks my earlobe into his mouth and I moan.
“I want you like I’ve never wanted anything in my life,” he whispers.
I swear his words alone are going to make me orgasm.
“By the time I’m finished with you, even the neighbours will need a cigarette. ”
“Jax,” I whimper as my hand’s fist in his hair. “Are we really doing this?”
Drawing back, his haunted eyes meet mine. “Please don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts?”
“I want this, I’m just … scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“It’s been so long. I haven’t been with anyone else since you.”
“Jesus,” he breathes. “What about Carter and that fucker at the club?”
“Nothing happened. I kissed them … that’s all.”
His eyes search mine. Is he doubting what I say? Just because he sleeps around, doesn’t mean I do.
“You haven’t been with another man since me?”
“No.”
He exhales a large breath as he pushes off the mattress and stands. “Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”
“What? No,” I say, sitting up and reaching for him. “Please, Jax.” I can’t believe I’ve resorted to begging. Why aren’t I good enough for him?
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why haven’t you been with anyone else?”
“Because the only person I’ve ever wanted is you.” I turn my face away as humiliation consumes me. I hadn’t meant to confess that … I’m such an idiot. “Maybe I should go.”
He pauses briefly to stare down at me, but when I scramble to the edge of the bed, he steps forward.
“Don’t.” Placing his finger under my chin, he lifts my face until my gaze meets his.
“Stay … please.” He places his lips tenderly on mine.
“I want you to stay.” Pushing me back into the mattress, his body settles over mine.
“I need you more than my next breath, Candice.”