37. Candice
CANDICE
“P lease, God, no,” I exhale in a panic as I open the lid of the washing machine and pull out Maddie’s bedsheets.
My heart beats furiously in my chest when I realise what I’ve done.
There is stuffing and tiny fragments of fake fur all through the machine.
“Shit … not Puppy.” He must’ve got caught up in the bedlinen when I stripped her bed this morning.
She’s going to be devastated— I’m devastated .
She’s had that toy since she was a baby.
I pull out my phone. My hands are shaking as I dial Jax’s number.
“Hey, babe,” he says when he answers.
“Jax.” I start to cry the moment I hear his voice. “I’ve killed Puppy.” I reach into the machine and pull out one of Puppy’s ears, holding it up in front of me as I speak.
“Puppyyyyyy!” I hear Maddie scream at the top of her lungs. I look over to find her standing in the doorway. “You killed my Puppy!”
“Fuck. What in the hell is going on?” Jax asks.
Maddie runs towards me with tears streaming down her face.
She gets up on her toes and looks inside the machine.
As soon as she sees her beloved stuffed toy in a thousand pieces, she starts sobbing hysterically.
When those big brown tear-filled eyes look up at me, I swear my heart breaks in two.
Her eyes have always been my weakness because they’re so much like her father's. When she notices Puppy’s ear in my hand her face screws up and she snatches it from me, clutching it to her chest.
“I’m not your friend anymore!” she shouts as she turns and runs from the laundry room. Hearing her say that makes my already broken heart shatter into tiny pieces.
The phone is still against my ear, and I vaguely hear Jax say, “Christ, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Maddie,” I call as I drop the phone and chase after her. She runs straight to her bedroom, closing the door and locking herself inside. “Maddie, please. Open the door. It was an accident.” She doesn’t reply, but I can hear her sobs on the other side. “Baby, please let me in. I’m so sorry.”
The tears are flowing freely down my face now as I rest my forehead against the door. My heart is hurting for my little girl. She loves that damn toy.
Within minutes, Jax comes bursting through the front door. He’s breathless, so he must’ve run all the way home from his shop. I’m still working Monday to Friday at their other studio, but only 9 am until 2.45 pm. Jax wanted me to be here for Maddie after school.
“Fucking hell,” he pants, when he sees the state I’m in. He pulls me into his arms and I can hear his heart beating rapidly as he holds me. I’m so glad he’s here. I can’t deal with this on my own.
“It was an accident. Puppy must’ve been tangled in the sheets when I put them in the machine.”
“It’s okay,” he says, tenderly stroking my hair. “I know you wouldn’t do it on purpose.” Drawing back, he cups my face in his hands and wipes my tears away with the pad of his thumbs. “Don’t cry. We’ll get it sorted. Maybe it can be sewn back together.”
“It’s in a million tiny pieces.”
“Where’s Maddie?”
“In there,” I answer, pointing to her bedroom door. “She’s locked me out. She told me she’s not my friend anymore.”
He pulls me into his chest again. “She’s just upset. She doesn’t mean it. She probably picked it up from school. You know what kids are like.” He kisses the top of my head before releasing me. “Let me talk to her.” He steps in front of the door and knocks. “Peanut, it’s me. Can I come in?”
She doesn’t respond, but a few seconds later we hear the latch unlock before she opens the door. Her tear-stained face rips me apart. “Daddy,” she cries as she collapses into his arms. “Puppy is dead.”
“I know, Princess, I know.” He wraps her up tightly, holding her while she sobs.
My hand covers my mouth to muffle my own cry. I hate myself for breaking my little girl’s heart. I should’ve been more careful.
“Goodnight, baby girl,” I say, tucking the blankets up around Maddie’s chin.
“Night.” Her voice is so soft, it’s barely audible.
She’s hardly spoken a word all night. Jax had to go back to work after he settled her down—he was in the middle of a job when he ran out.
She hasn’t cried again since he left, but she’s still heartbroken, her sombre face tells me that.
She didn’t even eat any of her dinner, just pushed her food around her plate.
A lump rises to my throat when I notice Puppy’s ear still clutched in her hand. It’s all she has left. She’s never gone to sleep without him.
My eyes move to the butterfly-shaped clock beside her bed. It’s just after eight. I was hoping Jax would be back by now. When he finished work he called home to pick up his car. All he said was he had somewhere he needed to go, and that he’d be home as soon as he could.
“Would you like me to lay with you until you fall asleep?” My hand runs over her blonde hair as I speak. She nods. “I know I’ve said it a hundred times already, but I’m really sorry about Puppy.”
“It’s okay, Mummy,” she says. “I’m sorry I said I’m not your friend … you are my friend.”
“I’m glad.” I tuck a stray curl behind her ear. “I’d hate it if we weren’t friends. I’ll go to the store tomorrow and buy you another Puppy.”
“I don’t want another Puppy,” she says as her eyes fill with tears. “I just want my Puppy.”
“Oh, baby.” I pull her tiny body into mine. “I know. I wish I could fix this. I hate to see you hurting.”
“He was my best friend,” she whispers as she softly cries into my chest.
Gah. My heart.
I wake with a start when someone gently shakes me.
“Candice, wake up.”
Jax’s handsome face is illuminated by the lamp beside the bed. I sit up and look at the clock. It’s 11 pm. Maddie is sound asleep beside me.
“Are you just getting home?” I whisper as I slowly slide off the bed, careful not to wake her.
“Come, I have something I want to show you.” He reaches for my hand as he leads me out of the room.
What is he up to? “Where have you been?”
“Shh.”
“Oh, my God,” I squeak when he opens the flaps of a cardboard box that’s sitting by the front door. “You bought her a puppy?”
“Not just any puppy,” he replies, beaming. “It’s a beagle, the same breed as Snoopy.”
Tears fill my eyes as he reaches in and gently lifts the sleeping puppy out.
“He’s so cute.” I gently run my hands over his fur and he opens one of his eyes.
He has the cutest little face. He’s mainly white with some black markings on his back and head.
There’s a tiny patch of tan over one of his eyes.
“Where did you get a puppy this time of night?”
“I picked him up a few hours ago. I had to drive to a property three hours away. I had Ana search online for me this afternoon before I left work.”
“You’re amazing,” I say as I slide my arms around his waist. “She’s going to love him.”
“Can I take him in there now?” he asks. He’s like a big kid. I don’t want to wake her since it took her so long to fall asleep, but he’s gone above and beyond for our little girl tonight, so I’m not going to ruin this for him.
“Of course.”
He brushes his lips against mine before walking towards Maddie’s room. I follow closely behind.
He places the puppy gently down beside Maddie. “Peanut,” he whispers, softly shaking her.
“Daddy,” she murmurs, opening her eyes. As soon as she speaks, the puppy rises from beside her and moves towards her face. Maddie giggles when he starts to lick her chin. “A puppy!” she cries. “A real puppy.”
“I know he’ll never replace your Puppy, but your Mummy and I got him for you. We hate seeing you sad.”
She sits up and hugs the puppy to her chest. “I love him. He’s so cute.” She giggles again when the puppy licks the side of her face.
After the afternoon we’ve had, hearing her laugh is like music to my ears. I can already tell they’re going to be the best of friends. I never thought I could love my man any more than I already do, but right now my heart is close to bursting.
“I’m glad,” Jax says as he runs his hand over his daughter’s hair.
She places the puppy down beside her and reaches for Jax. “I love you, Daddy,” she says as she hugs him.
“I love you too, Peanut.”
When she lets him go, her gaze moves to me. She extends her arms in my direction, so I step towards the bed.
“I love you, Mummy.” She hugs me too.
“I love you too, baby girl.” My voice cracks as I speak. “I love you so much.”
When she releases me, she picks up the puppy again. “Can he sleep with me?”
“Of course he can,” Jax says, “but put him on the other side so he’s close to the wall. We don’t want him to fall out of bed in the middle of the night.”
“Okay.” She does as he asks.
“In the morning you can think of a name for him.”
“I want to call him Snoopy,” she says without hesitation.
“That’s a great name,” Jax replies, ruffling her hair. “Now lay down and get some sleep. Tomorrow morning, we have to go shopping and get all the things Snoopy will need.”
“Good night, Daddy,” she says over a yawn as she lies down and snuggles the puppy to her. “Night, Mummy.”
Jax drapes his arm over my shoulder and smiles. Thanks to him, all is right with the world again. “I love you, Snoopy,” we hear her mumble as we leave the room.
Jax pulls me against him when we step into the hallway. “Are you okay?” he asks.
“I am now. You’re an amazing father. We’re both so lucky to have you.”
He holds me tight as he places a kiss on the top of my head. “I’m the lucky one.”
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” I wipe the tear that leaks from my eye. “You may now kiss the bride.”
The look that Brendan gives my mum when he pulls her into his arms makes my heart sing.
It’s not hard to see how much he adores her.
I know he’s going to spend the rest of his life looking after her and making her happy.
Like I said to her this morning when we were getting our hair done, good things come to those who wait , and it certainly feels like my mum’s waited a lifetime for him.