Chapter 44
Never Follow The Dead
Alex
“Alex! Alex! Oh my God! Alex!” A woman called out my name somewhere, her voice muffled, but familiar.
“Poshli, Sasha. Poidem so mnoi.” My father stood in the doorway of a dirty motel room, stretching out his hand to me. He asked me to come with him, but he was dead. I could see him, but also not.
“Alex!” the woman exclaimed again. “Alex, I’m so sorry! I’m sorry! What did he do to you…”
There was a familiar sweet smell, and an image appeared in my eyes. A woman. Tall, in a short dress, and with long, raven-black hair. But then she turned, and her face was just darkness. A dark cloud.
“Yes! Hi! I-I need an ambulance! Someone’s been badly beaten, I don’t know if he’s alive! Yes—”
“Poshli, Sasha!” My father’s voice boomed, and he was suddenly inside my chest, taking my hand.
But then another voice cut through.
Ya vernus.
I love you.
I missed you.
I hate Preziosa. Think of something better.
Promise?
“Yes, I’ll stay with him!” The woman with the dark cloud for a face kept talking, interrupting the voice that shone light in my eyes.
I’m planning to eat whatever you make.
That girl—the voice with the light—she had green eyes. Like jade.
And I loved her.
I slipped my hand out of my father’s grasp then. He was dead, and you should never follow the dead—they’ll take you with them.
And I had to go see the green-eyed girl. The one who had a sharp tongue and a warm heart. She liked lavender honey. She liked to swim. She liked…
Beep, beep, beep.
I floated somewhere, outside of time and space. There was no pain, no joy, no feeling.
Just an existence in the void.
“He’s in what we call a medically induced coma. We’re closely monitoring his brain activity—”
“What does that mean?” the woman with the dark cloud face asked. “W-will he wake up?”
“We’re hoping,” a man responded. “He’s experienced severe trauma to his lungs. They’ve been punctured in multiple places, and—”
“Punctured? With what?”
“His broken ribs and repetitive blows to his chest. Do you know how this happened? Did you witness this?”
“No,” the woman spoke softly. “I didn’t. I found him after it happened.”
“Did you file a police report? Also, are you related? Do you know him?”
“Yes. Yes, I know him. I’ll be taking care of his medical bill. His name’s Alex.”
Alex. Sounded so familiar. The voices floated around me, clear and loud, but I didn’t know how to respond. I wanted to open my mouth, to blink, but I had no body.
Beep, beep, beep.
The sound continued while I was suspended in darkness that stretched forever. No light. Just heavy, deep, pressing darkness.
I feel like...when another man touches me next...he’ll just have to…I don't know...be very…delica—
Jade. Her name was Jade.
“Alex? Alex, can you hear me?”
It was the dark cloud woman again. I couldn't remember her name, but I knew her. I knew her from a long time ago. She still had a dark cloud—her face wouldn’t take shape in my mind.
Unlike Jade’s. Jade lived inside me. Her voice talked to me all the time. She would tell me things. Sometimes awful things. She was in pain. Someone hurt her. A man. Her father too.
My chest ached at her stories.
But Jade would also tell me she loved me. Her gentle hands—they held my cheeks. She would run her fingers through my hair, all of her smelling like coconut oil. Her eyes—her beautiful, pure eyes—they would look at me and she would smile. Her image was crystal clear.
Who was Jade? I wasn’t sure, but one thing was certain: I loved her.
“It’s strange talking to you like this,” the dark cloud woman said quietly. “But I talked to the doctor, and they said you’re better. They took you out of the coma a week ago, but you’re still not waking up, but you’re healing.”
Was I hurt?
“That’s the most important thing. All the surgeries went well. They said you’re fighting.” There was a sniffle somewhere close by. “I’m so sorry, Alex.” The dark cloud woman from my past apologized again. “I’m so sorry. I’ll come back tomorrow, okay?”
The darkness flashed once more, and her voice and sickly-sweet smell were gone. It was gone for a long time, and there was no more Jade either. There was just a void. There was just nothing. No sounds, no images, no feelings.
Just nothing.
But then I was propelled somewhere. I swayed back and forth, the light blinding. I had eyes. I blinked them open, staring at something white.
My name was Alex. I was thirty-four. My birthday was in October. October nineteenth. I was Russian.
Da. Da, ya govoril po russki.
But who was that person standing by the window and looking out? It was a young woman, she had jet-black hair, and she wore a white T-shirt and beige cargo pants.
I blinked, wanting to ask her to turn around. I opened my mouth, but there was no sound. What was this place?
Beep, beep, beep.
I looked toward the steady beeping. What was that? I didn’t know, so I looked down instead, seeing an arm. That was mine, and those were my fingers. I wanted to move them, and they did.
Do not touch her. Do not think about her. Do not fall in love.
“Ah!” Someone gasped, and I looked toward the woman at the window, finally getting a glimpse of her face. “A-Alex! Oh my God, you’re awake!”
This must have been Jade. She looked different when she was in the darkness with me, but this must have been her. I lifted a finger, and the woman came closer, eagerly clasping my hand in hers. Except her hand was cold.
Jade’s touch was always warm. All of her was warmth and softness and fire and damn fucking sparkles.
I pushed past the heavy weight that settled on my chest. Jade didn’t feel like that. Jade cradled me in her arms and kissed my lips—as light as a butterfly. This woman didn’t do that. No. She drank something instead. She drank my life energy.
“Alex,” the woman said through tears. “I’m-I’m so happy you’re awake! It’s been a month!” She sat in front of me and held my hand, crying and crying and crying.
But I was drifting into the darkness once more, deep down knowing that something was wrong.
“Alex,” someone whispered. “Alex, I have to tell you something.” The darkness faded out, and the beeping faded in. “Alex, I should hate you…I should hate you for what you did, but I don’t.” The person sniffled, but I kept my eyes closed.
Cold fingers clasped around mine, and that feeling of unexplained dread returned.
“I love you, Alex. I love you, even—” Was this…
Jade? “Even after what you did to me! Because I understand now,” she spoke softly, clutching my hand.
“I get it. I get why you did it, and it-it changed me. As a person.” She chuckled quietly.
“Look at me! I’m in a T-shirt and jeans!
Have you ever seen me wear that? Never!”
No, this wasn’t Jade. This was the dark cloud woman, and I knew her.
“But I’m sorry I told him, Alex!” The woman sobbed loudly, and my whole body jerked from the sudden sound. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know he was going to do this!”
I opened my eyes then and recognized something on the woman—her earrings. I bought her those earrings. We went to Tiffany’s together, and she picked them out. The earrings were called Tiffany Victoria. I paid with my black Amex.
But what was the woman’s name? And why did she keep apologizing?
The images were hazy and confusing, but it was building inside me. I remembered Jade clearly last night. I kidnapped Jade, her last name was Moretti, and she was the love of my life.
And I had no idea where she was.
“Why—” My voice was a croak—a mere whisper, but it got the woman’s attention. “Why’re you saying sorry all the time?”
She shot her gaze to mine, full of disbelief and…
Guilt.
“Shh, shh, don’t strain yourself.”
But I shook my head, the pain zinging in my neck. “Tell me…who are you?”
The dark cloud woman stared at me, the heartbreak in her eyes difficult to look at.
“I’m Gianna,” she whispered shakily.
I blinked at her, the name swirling inside me. Gianna. Yes. Yes, that rang a bell. “Why’re you sorry?” I rasped, feeling my energy draining with every word. “Who did you…tell?”
Gianna said nothing. She looked me over with her sad eyes until, suddenly, she dropped her face in her hands and bawled. I’d seen her tears before—many times. Yes, it was all slow inside my head, but I’d experienced it all before, but never like this. She’d never been so full of sorrow.
“I didn’t—” she gasped, her face red and blotchy. “I didn’t know he was going to do this!” Her fingers clutched my hand again, wet from her tears. “He told me you kidnapped her again, and I—” Gianna was stumbling over her own sobs, trembling from head to toe.
He. Who was he? Unable to move, I watched Gianna cry, feeling afraid. Afraid that she would tell me something bad.
Something bad about Jade.
Because why was Gianna here if Jade was the one who lived in my mind? If Jade was the one I loved…why wasn’t she here? Was she…gone?
“Who? What did you tell? To who?”
“Xavier!” Gianna almost shouted the name, visibly annoyed with my inability to understand.
“I told him where you were! I didn’t know he was going to do this!
” she assured me, her eyes wide. “He called me late at night and pleaded. He cried! He said you took her again, and he was worried about her! He said you got into a fight, and he was worried you were going to hurt her! So he asked—”
Gianna wailed, half falling onto my bed, but I could only focus on one name.
Xavier.
One time, Xavier smashed my face into a wall. He grabbed my hair and then he just—sort of, I don’t know…flung me into the nearest wall.
My mind was slow and gooey, but I forced myself to concentrate. Jade’s voice echoed inside my head while Gianna cried in front of me, her tears so familiar.
“I told him! Because I still knew. I didn’t check the app anymore, but I also couldn’t tell you that I still knew where you were!
” Gianna waved her hands in front of her face, as if imploring herself.
“And then he wouldn’t pick up the phone!
He blocked me! And I panicked! That’s how I found you—I came to the last place where your location showed up—oh God! ”
Gianna jumped up from the chair and began pacing the little room I was in. I watched her, my fear growing.
It was all so heavy, but dark memories began to take shape in my mind. Yes. Gianna played a role in my life, not significant, but negative. Xavier, too, was a disjointed memory, but he was in Jade’s life. It must have been the man who hurt her. The man she told me about.
“Wh-where’s Jade?”
At this question, Gianna halted mid-step. She dropped her head back and sighed, as if the name personally offended her.
“I don’t know. I found you at the motel, and I called the ambulance. No one else was there,” Gianna said, cold and detached, albeit still sniffling.
“He took her? Xav-Xavier?” I choked out, panic rising in my body from lack of clarity and no answers. Was Jade in danger? Was she with the man who hurt her? With Xavier?
Gianna turned to me then, her chin trembling and such hurt in her eyes.
“Xavier nearly beat you to death, Alex. And Jade wasn’t there when I found you. So yes, I’m going to assume she’s with him.”
There was darkness all around me once more, like it descended out of nowhere, but this time, there were no soft memories of Jade. Only her voice—crying. Begging someone to let me go.