Chapter Three
daddy?
Pain.
So. Much. Pain.
This morning, I’m brutally reminded of why I don't drink this morning.
When I went to the bar last night, I had zero intention of drinking as much as I did. I planned on just having a couple glasses of wine and then going home. In all honesty, in my mind I already knew I would be miserable the whole time, but I wasn't. I actually had fun. I got out of my shell a little bit, and it was nice.
But this morning, I kind of regret it.
“Here, take this, and drink this.”
I startle at the voice. Cassie is standing next to my bed, holding out pain medicine and a sprite.
“How long have you been standing there?” I ask her, my voice scratchy and throat dry.
I sit up, down the pills and some sprite, and pull the covers up under my chin.
“Well I’ve been here all night. But I’ve been standing here for about 5 minutes trying to wake you up.” she laughs.
She sits down at the end of my bed, “So, someone enjoyed herself a little bit last night.”
There's something mischievous in her tone.
“I did...” I say, eyeing her cautiously.
“Do you not remember?” she laughs.
Oh god. What did I do?
“Um. I remember dancing with you, and Nathaniel being a bodyguard all night.”
“And? Nothing else?” she asks.
“And, you and Nathaniel disappearing on me to dance with you guys, and..”
My jaw drops and my eyes go wide.
“Oh god.”
“There it is.”
“Oh god.” I repeat, flopping my head into my hands. I danced with a stranger, right after my whole lecture about not wanting a man.
“What happened? Like was it gross gyrating type dancing, or what? Oh god, tell me I didn't kiss him.”
Cassie’s laugh booms throughout my tiny bedroom.
“No nothing like that. No gyrating, no kissing. There was an insane amount of tension between you two though. I watched from across the room and could feel the electricity.”
It’s all coming back to me. His face, his eyes, his hands. His strong , but gentle hands on my waist, holding me against him.. But the one thing that sticks out the most, is his scent. It was intoxicating.
I feel my cheeks flush, embarrassed that Cassie and Nathaniel actually saw this happen, and I didn’t even remember it until she brought it up. I’m sure it would have come to me eventually, but this just isn't like me. I don't get drunk and have steamy moments in bars with strangers.
It’s not even the fact that I danced with someone, it’s the fact that we apparently had chemistry, and I didn’t even remember it until now. What if I was a total idiot? What if I completely embarrassed myself in front of this man?
“Hello? Charlie? Where did you just go?” Cassie laughs, snapping her fingers at me and pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Sorry, I just. I feel like I’ve seen him before?” I say while chewing on my nails.
“Well we do live in a very tiny town. Chances are you’ve seen him around.”
“Mm. Maybe. I don't know. It’s not a big deal.”
“You’ve got exceptional taste, babe.” she says, wiggling her brows at me. “That man is fine.”
“Shut up Cass.” I laugh and kick at her.
She throws a pillow at me, then says, “Well, we were supposed to paint my apartment today but I think someone is a bit too hungover to do that. So we’ll just push it to next Thursday if you want.”
I sink further down into my bed, getting comfy. “Have I told you that I love you?”
Cassie smiles and pats my leg. “I’ll go grab some breakfast and bring it back in about 20, hows that sound?”
“Marry me?” I joke.
“You wish.” she laughs as she stands.
“I’ll be back soon. Drink the rest of that sprite.”
I give her a thumbs up, but as soon as she's out the door my head falls to my pillow. This really is awful. I don't understand the people who go out and party every night.
I turn my TV on, and land on some soap opera.
It’s a dramatic scene, where the girl is trying to leave him, and he’s trying to profess his love for her. Rain is falling on their faces, their clothes soaked, but they don’t care. He grabs her face, and pulls her to him, their lips colliding in the rain.
My heart twists.
Just a little longer. That’s all we needed.
I feel emotions start to bubble up, but I know if Cass comes back and see’s that I’ve been crying, she’ll want to talk. And I’m not in the mood right now. I click the TV off before I can think too hard, and close my eyes for a minute.
25 minutes later, I’m woken up by Cassie nudging me and handing me an iced coffee and a muffin.
“You went back to sleep?” she asks.
I nod, finally sitting up all the way. “Yeah, my head was hurting too bad.” I lie, and instantly feel bad about it. But technically it's not a complete lie.
She sits and takes a bite of her food. “So I was thinking about your party. What if we have it on the roof? We still have some warmth, so we wouldn't freeze.”
“What roof?” I ask, confused.
She nudges my leg, “My roof. At my apartment. It could be pretty. We could have string lights and everything.”
I groan. “I really don’t want a party, Cass. Who would we invite anyways? My circle is very small, if you haven't noticed.”
Don’t get me wrong, I have friends. But only a few close ones. Plus, I don’t like the idea of an entire night revolving around me. It’s just odd.
“Charlie. You’re turning 30. Please let me celebrate you.” She asks with her bottom lip stuck out.
I roll my eyes, but before I can say anything, she adds, “Plus, I kinda already invited your mom.”
I feel my eyes bulge out of my head.
“You what ? Cassie, why.”
“It’s your 30th. You only turn 30 once. And I’m not even planning a big party, just something chill and relaxing.”
“You don't do chill and relaxing.” I scoff.
“But you do, I promise this won’t be a Cassie party.”
I eye her cautiously. I love her but she can go overboard real fast when it comes to parties.
“Ok fine. But you have to promise me it won’t get out of hand. Just a calm party.”
“I promise,” she smiles, then adds, “Calm party. I got this.”
Her smile tells me otherwise.
We eat our breakfast while she shows me ideas for my birthday, and it’s surprisingly not terrible.
She shows me an inspiration picture with a wall of twinkle lights that are also flowers, and I actually love it.
I’ve never been the girlie type. I’d rather wear t-shirts and leggings or jeans than get dressed up. But I’ve always been a sucker for twinkle lights, and all things plants/flowers.
“I’ll set up a table with drinks, and of course get you your favorite sparkling wine. And we can make cupcakes instead of a cake, that way everyone gets something without ordering a huge cake.” she says.
I hold up a hand as a thought suddenly coming to me.
“Wait, Cass. This seems really expensive, who’s paying for all of this?”
I suddenly feel very guilty, and aware that budget or spending money was never discussed. I don't mind paying for it, but she said she's throwing the party, and I feel bad for just assuming she's paying for it.
“Don’t worry about it. When I called your mom and explained everything, she gave me her credit card and told me to go nuts.”
Of course she did.
My mom. Always paying for everything.
I wasn't spoiled growing up, but she never really knew how to tell me no. Especially being an only child.
“Ok.” I say. “Just don't show me all your plans. I want to be somewhat surprised.”
Cassie wiggles her eyebrows at me, and I feel like I should add some rules to the level of surprise I want. But it's probably best I just leave it alone.
The next couple days are filled with sending digital invites to people, which turns out to not be that hard considering I don't know a lot of people. There’s a young couple from my apartment complex, and a few regulars from the shop.
My mom, of course, because she insisted she get a proper invitation. And then Cass took over the rest. She won’t let me help much besides answering yes or no questions.
It’s 7 a.m, and I just flipped my sign to ‘Open’. I head to the back room where I keep all of the things people bring me, and grab a box of new clowns and some baby dolls.
I’m putting them on the shelf when I hear the first customer come in.
“Come on in! I’ll be right there!” I yell from the other side of the store.
I set up the last baby doll that came in a twin set, and walk to the front. A girl no older than 10 stands there wearing overalls and boots, with her hair in a baseball cap.
“Oh.” I say, shocked. It’s not very often kids come in here alone.
“How can I help you?”
“I was told you have teapots.” she says, like that alone answers my question.
“I do.” I smile, and start walking to where the new set I put out last week is still sitting. It’s the prettiest set I’ve gotten in.
Soft white, with yellow and orange hand painted flowers, with gold lining them. I was kind of hoping no one would buy it.
The girl follows, not saying a word, but I hear her boots stomping behind me.
“Here.” I stop in front of the shelf. “I just put this one out last week, and it's somehow still here.”
I watch her eyes light up, and her mouth spreads into a wide grin.
“Oh it’s lovely.” she says, and I feel my eyebrows shoot up in surprise. I don't think I’ve ever heard a 10-year old use the word lovely before.
I laugh, then say, “It is. It’s also pretty pricey.” I show her the tag that says $50 on it, expecting her to show some disappointment, but she just nods.
“That’s ok. I got money for my birthday, and was told I could spend it however I want. And I want that teapot, please.”
Who is this kid?
“Fair enough. I’ll carry it to the front for you and get you checked out.”
She claps her hands in excitement, “Thank you!”
I wrap the teapot up, silently wishing it farewell, then place it in a bag for her.
Something clicks in my mind. That man, he came in here looking for a tea set for a birthday party. I wonder if this is his kid? I feel like that’s too much of a coincidence for them not to be connected somehow.
I hate prying, especially with kids, but I have to ask.
“Are you here by yourself? It's pretty brave of you to come into a store by yourself. I know I definitely wouldn't have when I was your age.”
She giggles, pulls her money out of her overall pocket, then points to the door with her thumb.
“No, my mom is in that coffee shop over there. It's boring. So I came here.” she smiles, then adds, “I am brave, you know. I once went duck hunting! I didn't shoot anything, though, but I watched.”
“Oh wow, that is very brave of you.” I wink, and hand her her bag.
“You’re all set, and hey, take care of this teapot–I’ve grown pretty fond of it.”
“I will, I promise. It's going straight home and on my shelf.”
“Good.”
“Thanks miss! Have a good day!” she calls as the door shuts behind her.
Hm. That didn't help much. She didn't mention a dad, just mom. But that doesn't mean anything. I’m not even sure why I care so much. It wouldn't matter if he has a kid, anyways. For one, it wouldn't bother me. And two, I have no intentions of seeing him again.
The rest of the day goes by in a blur. I don't know why it's bothering me so much, wondering if this guy is married and has a kid or not. Maybe he’s just a family friend? Slim chance but a possibility.
I close up and walk to the coffee shop where Cassie is waiting for me. She wants to run birthday decorations over with me, even though I told her to surprise me.
I’m almost to the coffee shop, when my phone rings.
Right on time.
“Hi mom.” I answer, not even having to look at the caller ID to check because she’s called me every day at this time for the last two years.
“Hi sweetie, how was your day?”
I give her the run through of my day, tell her about the charismatic little girl, and tell her that I am now about to walk into the coffee shop to meet Cassie.
I pull the door open and see her already sitting at a table with two coffees and a muffin.
Oh boy, this isn't going to be a quick thing.
“Oh, well that sounds like a fun-filled day. I can’t wait to see you girls next week. It's going to be like a big adult sleepover. I’ll even make margaritas!” she says.
I laugh, “Cass, mom says she's gonna get you drunk when she comes.”
She does a ‘yippie’ clap, then yells, “I’m ready, Mama Helena!”
“Oh are you with her now?” my mom says, “Let me say hi!”
I roll my eyes, and hand Cassie the phone.
“She wants to say hi.”
Every few seconds while they talk, Cassie looks at me with a mischievous grin, and I instantly regret handing my phone over. My mom and Cassie have grown close over the years, and I love it but when they get together it's pure chaos.
“Alright, we’ll see you then,” Cassie says, then hangs up.
I look at her confused, and hold my hands up.
“She had to go but says she loves you. Now, party. How do you feel about music? Dance pop or country?” she asks.
“Um. First of all, I really feel the love in this relationship. Second, ew. Neither. Do not ask me to choose music because you know I’m no good at that.”
Her eyes roll as she waves her hand and gives me my phone back, “Fine, fine. I’ll pick, but you can't complain.”
“I won’t.” I promise. Then I add, “Have you figured out food? Cause that I’ll definitely help choose.”
She pulls up her phone, “I was thinking of having Shaun’s Tacos cater? I know how you love your tacos.”
Shaun’s Tacos is my absolute favorite restaurant and she knows this.
“That sounds perfect, but the real tacos, with cilantro and onion, not those fake ones.”
“Got it. Real tacos, not fake.” She writes a note on her paper, and I roll my eyes.
“You know what I mean.” I say.
She’s scrolling her phone, showing me her thoughts, when I randomly blurt, “So that guy, from the bar?”
Her eyes shoot up to me, and she puts her phone down.
“Yeah? What about sexy mountain man.”
“Uh, I think he might have a kid.” I say.
She gapes at me, “Why do you think that? Did you see him again?”
“No, I didn't. But that day he came into my shop, he was buying a birthday present...”
She interrupts, “Yes you told me this.”
“Ok, what I didn’t mention was that it was an antique tea set that he bought. Well today, this little girl came in wanting to buy a teapot.” I tell her.
She leans in, her eyes wide, “So…what? Because another person wants a teapot that makes them his kid?”
I roll my eyes, “No, Cass. This girl paid with money she got from her birthday, a week ago. Same timeline.”
She sits back in her chair, clearly trying to catch up.
“She paid for a $50 teapot with a one hundred dollar bill. Tell me that's not dad money.”
She nods, still looking confused, then finally says, “But why do you care? Hmm?”
I sit back and cross my arms over my chest.
“I don't.”
“Char, why would it matter if the dude had a kid unless you felt something?”
I chew on my lip a minute, trying to figure out an answer. Why does it matter? How do I explain to Cassie that I don't care if this man is a dad or not? That its not a big deal.
But it is a big deal, because deep down I want to know these things. But I'm not about to say that.
“It doesn't matter, I was just putting two and two together, that's all.” I say finally.
“Mhm. I don't believe you. I saw how you two danced. There was chemistry. Hot chemistry. But I’ll drop it.”
“Thank you.” I tell her.
“Ok, back to party planning.” she says, and I groan. I really hate planning things for myself.
Just as she's showing me dresses I should wear, the door to the coffee shop opens.
I look up out of reflex, and sure enough, there he is.