Chapter 41
Forty-One
To be honest, I’m delighted to be back home. With all my belongings around me and Rebel’s toys back at her disposal, I put the last shirt back in the wardrobe and glance contentedly at my bedroom. Home sweet home.
I reach for my phone beneath the comforter and open my messaging app.
Guilt washes over me when I see Teagan’s name.
She’s messaged several times, asking to meet, but I’ve kept putting it off.
A misplaced shame that I haven’t replied yet gnaws at me as I struggle to find the right words.
Taking a deep breath, I head downstairs, grab my shoes, and before my mind can talk me out of it, I slip them on and step outside.
The upside to living in California? No coat needed, almost all year round.
Fifteen minutes later, I pull into the parking lot at Pete’s. Through the window, I see Teagan’s black hair and breathe a deep sigh of relief. Good guess.
The bar is pretty empty at this time of day, as lunch hasn’t even started yet, which somehow gives me a sense of peace. It gives us time to discuss things, but also lowers the threshold of where we are. I push open the car door and get out. Facing the sun and feeling its warmth soothes me.
Approaching the door, I push it open and meet her gaze.
Teagan is cleaning a glass, but stops immediately when she sees me. Her eyes widen and her jaw drops slightly. She puts the glass down and comes around the bar.
“Layne? Is everything okay?”
A small smile spreads across my lips as I nod.
She throws her arms around my neck. “Shit, I really thought I’d lost you, you idiot.
I was so relieved when Pax sent me a message saying they’d found you.
” When she lets go of me, she looks at me with a teary smile and sniffs.
“And Jen…” Teagan’s gaze briefly falls to her shoes.
“I heard from the school that she passed away unexpectedly.” She makes quotation marks in the air with her fingers.
I just nod. I can’t bring myself to say it again.
“Oh, girl.” My best friend immediately wraps her arms around me again.
“Can I sit down?” I manage to say, voice cracking.
Nodding, she retreats behind the bar to resume drying glasses. I take a seat on a stool. “I’m sorry it took me so long to show up.”
“Psh.” She dismisses it. “You’ve only been back four days, Layne. The important thing is that you’re still alive. I really thought… What were you thinking, leaving the compound?”
I shrug. “I really thought it would be better if we just disappeared. Kyler wouldn’t tell me anything, and Pax said—”
“Oh God, what has that idiot done now? Do I have to punch him?” She raises her eyebrows.
Shaking my head, I continue: “No, he had a point. I just misunderstood completely. I should’ve talked to Kyler, but you know me.” I sigh deeply.
“Miss ‘I’ll solve everything myself’.” Teagan snorts.
“It was my mess.”
“It was Connor’s mess, and he dumped it on you.” She puts the glasses back in their place and wipes the counter with a dishcloth.
“And I dumped it on the Renegades. Jen’s dead because of me, Teag.” I cover my eyes with my hands.
“That’s bullshit. You didn’t put her in your car when you took off. They went after her. Those assholes are the reason she’s dead, not you. Did Brooks tell you…”
I shake my head immediately. “No, God, no. He says the same thing. That it’s not my fault, but theirs, and yet … I’m the one who brought this all on them.”
Teagan throws the dishcloth back in the sink and puts her hands on the counter.
Her gaze drills into mine. “If Kyler hadn’t come, you never would’ve knocked on his door.
You didn’t even knock on his door, he was just driving by that day…
Stop blaming yourself. Nothing would’ve happened if that son of a…
” she sighs. “If that guy had been normal. If Connor had just finished his job and was still at home with you right now.”
I nod. “You’re right, but I still find it hard to think that way. It’ll be okay,” I mumble, grabbing a beer coaster from the bar.
Behind me, the door opens and an older couple enters.
“But you’re safe now, right?” Her eyes study my face.
“Mm-hm,” I grunt. “The Renegades got a letter asking them to drop it if they left me alone and returned Jen’s body.”
Teagan chuckles, as if the whole thing is funny.
I tilt my head. “Sorry, but do they really think the Renegades are just going to let it go? They killed Brooks fucking Paisley’s wife.
What a bunch of idiots.” She grabs a notebook and a pen from the bar.
“I’ll be right back.” Then she walks over to the couple who found a table.
She takes their order while I twirl the beer coaster between my thumb and index finger.
“Are you still staying at Kyler’s apartment?”
I jump when my friend reappears behind the bar. “No. I moved all my stuff back this morning, and starting tonight, we’re sleeping at our own place again.”
“Oh, that’s great, Layne,” she says over her shoulder, fiddling with the coffee machine. She makes two cups of special coffee and takes them to her customers. “And between you two?” she asks when she reappears.
“Between us?”
“Oh, come on, bitch. Can I be the first to share some news instead of Gossip Queen Mack? I don’t want to hear about it from her in two weeks that my best friend’s still sleeping with the VP of the Renegades.
” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “If that happens, I’m officially dethroning you. Just so you know.”
I smile, looking down at my fingers. “Okay, fine.”
“What do you mean, ‘okay, fine’?” She gives me a wide-eyed stare.
“Okay, fine, there’s more between us.” I look up at her and shift back and forth on the bar stool.
“I knew it. Tell me! Even if it’s just a kiss. Anything is better than my boring sex life.” Fixing her eyes on the ceiling, she blows a strand of hair out of her face with exaggerated force. “Let me live vicariously through you.” With a dramatic gesture, she grabs my hand.
“He says he’s sleeping at my place tonight, but you know the MC life. I bet he won’t.”
“WHAT?!” she exclaims, and I look at the people at the table in alarm, but they don’t even notice. “He’s moving in with you? Why didn’t you tell me you were back together? You’re the worst friend in the world.” Meanwhile, she’s let go of my hand and put both of them on her hips.
“He’s not moving in with me, and you knew we were…” I gesture with my hands. “You know.”
“If he’s sleeping over, that’s definitely more than just a one-night stand, girl.” The hatch behind her opens, and a person pushes two sandwiches through. Before I can react, she grabs the two plates and heads to the couple.
Damn it. Obviously, there’s more to it than that. And even though she’s my best friend, I’d rather not talk about it.
“So, am I right?” she asks as she walks past me.
“Can’t I keep anything to myself?” I sulk.
“No.” A broad grin spreads across her face. “I’m happy for you, Laynie.”
“Now we just have to find you a man.” Although that’s quite the challenge with my friend. There’s always something about the men. Too muscular, too fat, too tall, too short, too bald, too much hair. I sigh, just thinking about it.
“Yeah, my dating life isn’t exactly going swimmingly.” Teagan chuckles, but there’s no joy in it.
“Your list of requirements is really long,” I say with a wink.
“Oh, shut up, you. Look at the requirements you’ve ticked off.” And then we both burst out laughing and it seems like nothing happened.