10. Likelies/Targets/Reaches
After the students have had a couple of weeks to settle in, John Maverick aka “Mav” (he’s the first to acknowledge it’s an obnoxious nickname) schedules a sit-down with the members of the sixth-form to discuss their application plan—but because Mav is brand-new to the school, it’s also a get-to-know-you session.
Mav has to write recommendations for sixty kids and somehow make them each stand out.
He won’t complain; he’s lucky to have landed a position at a school so close to Colbert, where his estranged-but-not-yet-ex-wife, Amanda Maverick, is Head and his twin boys, Evan and Augie, are third-formers.
Amanda was the one who asked for a divorce.
She didn’t like listening to Mav breathe, she said, but that felt like a complaint cribbed from the internet.
In truth, their problems ran far deeper, starting with the moment two years earlier when Amanda was named Head of School and proceeded to micromanage the way Mav did his job in the college counseling office.
Amanda had been overwhelmed by the responsibility, too tired for any kind of sex life, and yet weirdly jealous of the attention Mav gave Colbert’s seniors during the admissions process, especially the group of girls this past school year who were discovered to have a text chain on Snapchat called “Mav’s Minxes. ”
They’re like your harem, Amanda said, which sent Mav spiraling. How dare she insinuate there was anything remotely inappropriate going on between Mav and his students! Did she really think so little of him?
Only two weeks after telling the boys they were separating, Amanda started dating the principal of the nearby elementary school.
Any hope of Mav and Amanda both staying at Colbert and working peacefully side by side flew out the window when the boys’ lacrosse team arrived back to campus late one night after an away game and spied Amanda and the principal making out in a car in the athletic center’s parking lot.
The job opening at Tiffin was almost too good to be believed.
What happened to Honey Vandermeid? The official statement was that she moved to Florida to care for her mother, but then Mav heard whisperings about Honey making unwanted sexual advances toward another faculty member.
Honey had always seemed like such an elegant, classy person—which just goes to show that everyone has a dark side, even the college counselor in a Veronica Beard blazer and pearls who had an 80 percent success rate with her students in the Ivy League.
The only downside to taking the job at Tiffin was the issue they’d had with Zip Zap the previous year. One of the students hacked into the server and was able to access texts, emails, and browsing histories. The whole idea makes Mav perspire; he likes to keep brutally honest notes on each student.
When Mav asked Mrs. Spooner if he should, perhaps, use his laptop instead of the computer in his office, she said, “We expelled the student responsible for the hacking. I can assure you, your office computer will be far more secure than your laptop.”
Mav wondered about this—wasn’t one of the kids behind Zip Zap still enrolled here?—but then he remembered that he shared a cloud with Amanda and the twins. (He and Amanda were estranged, but their technology, he suspected, would be married forever.)
“You’re sure?” Mav asked.
“Quite sure,” Mrs. Spooner said.
Royce Stringfellow—MIT, Johns Hopkins, Carnegie Mellon
GPA 4.0; SAT 1550; Robotics Club, Math Team (captain), play-by-play announcer at Tiffin football home games.
Royce is in the running for valedictorian and is STEM focused, with biomedical engineering being his likely major.
He tells Mav that he considers Carnegie Mellon a “likely,” but Mav assures him that would be a mistake.
The only people for whom Carnegie Mellon is a likely is an actual Carnegie or a Mellon.
Mav strongly encourages Royce to add Texas A SAT 1300; football, basketball, strength and conditioning, Insight affinity club (president).
Hakeem has a firm handshake, maintains eye contact, and generally presents like a young Wall Street tycoon. When Mav asks him to name his favorite thing about Tiffin, he mentions his girlfriend, Taylor.
Mav writes: Seems intent on establishing his heterosexuality. Maybe because he is (or was?) best friends with the quarterback who came out as gay? Serves as president of Insight—shouldn’t he be more supportive of his buddy? Is he a hypocrite with the Insight stuff, or just covering up insecurities?
Mav deletes all of this. It’s complete speculation, and Hakeem is heading to Dartmouth no matter what Mav thinks of the kid. Good for him.
Taylor Wilson—Duke, Vanderbilt
GPA 3.8; SAT 1440; plays piano, lead in musical, Honor Board chair.
Mav suggests adding some targets and likelies to Taylor’s list, since both Duke and Vanderbilt are reaches. Taylor says, “My mother is Iron Duke. Do you know what that is?” Mav assures her that he does, but it’s risky to rely on even a robust history of donating.
Immediately, Taylor looks like the sky is falling.
Mav says, “How about adding Washington 2. Brown; 3. Cornell
GPA 3.9; SAT 1410; Head Prefect, varsity field hockey (captain), varsity basketball (captain), varsity lacrosse (captain), Insight affinity group (vice president).
Madison J. is an Ivy League zealot; every class has one. She mentions that her mother—also a Tiffin alum—went to Brown and expects Madison to attend a “school of similar stature.”
Mav finds himself explaining the stark reality of college admissions.
There are thousands, if not tens of thousands, of students as qualified as Madison J.
applying to all the Ivies. Madison sighs and says, “Okay, let’s add the University of Georgia.
” Mav has to break it to her that the University of Georgia has become another school that is virtually impossible to get into out of state.
He suggests Franklin SAT 1120. No activities listed, no work experience.
When Mav asks Pippa how she spent her summer, she tells him she traveled abroad.
“Backpacking?” Mav says. “Eurail?”
“Your what?” she says, winking. “I wouldn’t exactly call it backpacking. I did six weeks in Lake Como and Capri with friends from the city.”
Mav blinks. Six weeks of luxury travel will not impress a college admissions counselor.
“Then I flew to Tanzania by myself and summited Kilimanjaro.”
“Really?” Mav says. “You’ll use that as an essay topic, I assume?”
Pippa shrugs. “I’m not sure that’s the most interesting thing about me.”
Mav is afraid to ask what the most interesting thing might be.
Rhode Rivera told Mav that Pippa showed up “naked” to First Dance, which adds to the discomfort Mav is feeling already.
Pippa has such a mediocre academic and extracurricular profile that it’s hard to be positive about her first (and only) choice of schools.
“Miami is very competitive,” Mav says.
“They’ll take me,” Pippa says. “Sondra Sacks is my mother. She’s the host of Gut Punch. Before that, while she was still married to Erik, she was a Real Housewife of New York.”
Mav blinks. He has never watched one minute of reality TV, a fact he is not unproud of. He doesn’t know who “Erik” is, nor does he care, nor will the admission folks at UMiami care, unless…
“Did either of your parents donate a building to Miami?” Mav asks.
Pippa scowls. “No.”
“I think we should expand your list.”
“No,” Pippa says.
Mav writes: Privileged, condescending, entitled, unpleasant. Kilimanjaro for essay. Refuses to expand her list. Pray the Miami admissions counselors watch Bravo.
Davi Banerjee—UMiami
GPA 3.3; SAT 1240; international influencer of note, high school musical (third- and fourth-form, but notably, not last year), squash (third- and fourth-form, but not last year). Work experience: bused tables at Rosso Rubino in Montepulciano, Italy.