31. 115
Thank god college admissions went well, Audre thinks, because the rest of Audre’s life is spinning plates.
She’s trying to set up a new life in New Orleans—she and Coop are looking at rentals in the Garden District online, she has reached out to the provost at Tulane—while at the same time managing the end-of-year at Tiffin.
The search for a new Head has turned up only three viable candidates, one of whom is Douglas Worth, an automatic no. And so the decision will be between Cordelia and Rhode, both of whom are quick to toot their own horn while subtly disparaging the other any time they’re in Audre’s presence.
“It’s unheard-of,” Cordelia crowed. “It’s as if school and student are a perfect match in every single case. We don’t even have to look at the wait list.”
Audre congratulates Cordelia on a job well done and waits for her to mention which newly admitted Tiffin students have parents or grandparents who might refill the school’s coffers.
Instead, Cordelia says, “And guess what? I heard from Honey.”
Audre’s head jerks up. “You did?”
“I told her you were leaving and that I was applying for Head. She intimated I shouldn’t even have to apply…”
Audre stops short of rolling her eyes.
“… then we joked that if I became Head of School, Honey could take my place as head of admissions.”
Hmmm, Audre thinks. Were they “joking” or scheming? And is it wise for Cordelia to consider rehiring a woman who resigned to evade a sexual harassment scandal?
Cordelia picks up the literary magazine she left on Audre’s desk. “Have you read Rhode’s story?”
The notion that Audre might have prioritized reading a short story amid the chaos of her life is, frankly, laughable.
“No, not—”
“I’ll save you the trouble,” Cordelia says. “It’s a thinly veiled fictionalization of his sexcapades with Sondra Sacks.”
Audre had almost forgotten that Rhode and Pippa Sacks’s mother had a fling. It’s admirable that Rhode got published again, but Audre has to agree with Cordelia: Mr. Rivera’s ill-advised sexual adventures are the last thing she wants to read about.
When Audre bumps into Rhode on the path outside the Schoolhouse—Audre is on a mission to find Coop to get his opinion on buying a car (will they need two cars in New Orleans, or can they make do with only Coop’s Audi?)—he looks like he’s about to burst into a flurry of lollipops and streamers.
“Guess what?” he says.
Audre can’t possibly guess.
“ ‘Green Flag / Red Flag’ was selected by Best American Short Stories!” he says. “The volume will be published in October.”
“Wonderful!” Audre says. Audre used to read the Best American story collection herself, back in the days before reading for pleasure became a pipe dream. “You’re certainly a credit to Tiffin.”
Rhode shrugs with (false?) modesty. “I just want you to know that, although I’m having success with my writing, teaching comes first.” He stands to his full height and, if Audre isn’t mistaken, flexes his biceps.
“If I’m chosen as Head, I’ll leave fiction as an avocation.
But I think it’s important for the kids to have a role model who’s successful in an adjacent field.
And not, you know, someone who just scrolls on Facebook. ”
“Facebook?”
“Like Mrs. Spooner,” Rhode says. “She’s always on social media, looking up kids, checking to see if they’re attractive enough to attend Tiffin.”
Audre frowns. She doesn’t appreciate Rhode giving that rumor energy. “I’m sure Mrs. Spooner—”
“She’s not really Mrs. Spooner, is she?” Rhode asks. “That’s just a cover story she’s been propagating. She was never married.”
Oh, for heaven’s sake! Audre thinks. She congratulates Mr. Rivera again, then bids him goodbye.
As she enters the Schoolhouse, all she can think is that neither Cordelia nor Rhode Rivera is an ideal candidate—but they’re all Audre’s got.
The next day, there’s more bad news in the form of an email from Chef Haz.
Good morning, Audre—
I just wanted to let you know that, over spring break, I interviewed at three restaurants in New York City and have received three offers.
Although I haven’t made a final decision about where I’ll end up, it does seem I’ll be leaving Tiffin at the end of the year, and I thought it only fair that I give you an early heads-up.
Rest assured, I’m committed to Tiffin’s culinary excellence until the end of term. I’m especially excited to cater the 115th-anniversary experience.
Thank you.
Chef Haz
Audre groans. Chef Haz is leaving too? Suddenly it feels like the Titanic is going down, and everyone is scrambling for a lifeboat.
By far the biggest obstacle to Audre’s peace of mind is the impending 115th-anniversary celebration.
It’s not just the ceremony itself that’s causing anxiety, it’s the email Audre received from Jesse Eastman.
He and his girlfriend, O’Malley, will be arriving on campus Saturday evening before the VIP reception, and Jesse has asked that he and Audre have their annual “State of Tiffin” chat on Sunday morning.
With you leaving, Jesse wrote, it’s all the more important that I know where things stand.
Audre knew this moment was coming, but she’d also hoped Jesse might not care where things stood; they were both leaving, so why did he care?
But Jesse was a successful businessman for a reason; clearly, to him, a proper dismount was important.
And so, Audre will have no choice but to tell Jesse the truth: There’s less than half a million dollars left in operating, and without a miracle, Audre won’t have the funds to pay the faculty and staff through the summer, never mind pay the water, electric, landscaping, cleaning, laundry, maintenance, and food and bev bills.
She will confess to Jesse that she took her eye off the ball where their finances were concerned and hope to god he understands “market fluctuations.” But Audre is kept up nights worrying that Jesse will call out her gross negligence and sabotage any chance she has for future employment.
She tells herself it’s unlikely he’ll fire her so close to the end of the school year.
But it’s not impossible.
The 115th anniversary of Tiffin Academy is held on Saturday, April 17.
The attendees include alumni, parents, former faculty, friends of the school, and a small selection of student volunteers who wear hunter-green polos with a gold 115 stitched over the breast. Annabelle Tuckerman, who graduated the year before and now attends Princeton, shows up unexpectedly, and because Audre is shorthanded, she asks Annabelle to stand outside the wrought-iron gates to direct cars to the Back Lot.
At noon, Laura Rae leads a commemorative chapel service (where Audre hears the woman behind her complaining about the equestrian-themed needlepointed kneelers: “Is that a… jockey?”).
After Chapel, guests stroll alongside the Pasture to the Teddy, where Coop has curated an exhibit of Tiffin’s history. There are photographs of both Edward Tiffin, owner of the horse farm that once graced the land, and Mary Tiffin Sinclair, who inherited the acres and founded the school in 1912.
After guests have had the chance to wander the exhibit and visit the school store, it’s time for the luncheon reception under the tent erected in front of the Manse.
Chef Haz outdoes himself with an array of main course salads—shrimp salad with chives and mint, chicken salad with bing cherries and pecans, sliced sirloin drizzled with emerald-green chimichurri served over a bed of arugula, and hothouse tomatoes grown right there on campus—as well as baskets of Chef’s focaccia, buttery Parker House rolls, and flaky croissants.
Everyone raves about the food, but Audre is too tense—and too busy chatting—to eat.
She deflects most queries that come her way.
(Who will replace Audre as Head? Is it true Jesse Eastman is leaving as well?
The parents of last year’s ’Bred Bulletin editor, Ravenna Rapsicoli, tell Audre they’ve heard Chef Haz has been offered the executive chef’s position at the Crying Lion.
Is he leaving too?) Instead, Audre brags about the sixth-form’s success with college this year.
Tiffin will be sending students to Harvard, Cornell, Dartmouth, Duke, and Johns Hopkins.
Davi Banerjee will be attending UMiami. Dub Austin received a full ride to Atwater, where he’ll play quarterback.
Audre is approached by Doc Bellamy, who taught English at Tiffin for more than four decades before retiring two years ago. He stoops to give Audre a hug, then grasps her left hand.
“No ring?” He sighs. “Tell me, Audre, why would Dr. Coopersmith buy the cow when he’s getting the milk for free?”
Audre blinks. Did Doc Bellamy just call her a… cow? She’s been considering asking him to sit on the selection committee for the next Head—but not after that comment!
She’s spared having to reply due to a loud banging noise that halts all conversation.
No, not banging, Audre realizes as the tent grows hushed.
It’s drumming. Fifth-former Sunny Wu performs a drum solo on a tiny makeshift stage while Mr. Chuy, the music director, stands nearby.
Audre left Mr. Chuy in charge of entertainment.
She’d been anticipating a song-and-dance number (“Everybody cut footloose!”).
The drumming is both unexpected and… quite remarkable.
Did Audre know Sunny was so talented? She exudes both power and grace, and soon everyone in the tent is whistling and cheering, though Sunny seems oblivious to it all.
She closes her eyes, a bead of perspiration runs down her face, she crescendos her performance…
and ends with a dramatic crash of the cymbal.
The crowd goes wild. Sunny takes a bow and then, at Mr. Chuy’s urging, takes another.
Charlie Watts couldn’t have done any better, Audre thinks. Who knew that Tiffin had been harboring a percussive genius for the past three years?
The guests seem exhilarated. Audre hopes this means they’ll pick up the donation envelopes as they leave the tent.
Audre receives rave reviews about the chapel service, the history exhibit, and the luncheon reception… but the event that needs to succeed is that evening’s VIP cocktail soirée.
Audre emerges from the Residence in a bias-cut Tiffin-green silk gown just as a black Escalade rolls onto campus, stopping at her feet.
The driver opens the back door: Jesse Eastman and O’Malley step out.
O’Malley—who is six feet tall in heels and has striking red hair—is wearing a voluminous silver dress. She and Audre shake hands and air-kiss, then she gazes at the lit chapel tower. “I’ve seen pictures, but they don’t do the campus justice. It’s like something out of a novel.”
If Audre had a dollar for every time she heard someone say this, she wouldn’t be facing a dire financial crisis!
At that moment, Coop comes striding down the path, wearing a tuxedo with a white silk scarf draped over his shoulders.
Audre catches her breath. She would follow the man anywhere—to Marrakesh, Mumbai, Mars.
She was irritated with Doc Bellamy earlier for bringing up marriage, but in this moment, all Audre wants is for Coop to get down on one knee.
During the introductions—Jesse, Coop, O’Malley, Coop—Audre says a quick prayer. Please, god, let this work.
Jesse says, “I have to admit, Audre, I’m intrigued about the ‘secret location’ of this party.”
Audre links her arm through Coop’s. “Follow me!”