10. Chapter Ten
Chapter Ten
Sunshine peeks through the gap in my curtains, blinding me awake. I crack my eyes open, testing just how bright it is, and immediately regret it. I groan, flipping over onto my stomach, and bury my face in the pillow. My thick hair forms a barrier between me and the outside world. I want to sleep longer, but that clearly isn’t an option anymore.
Using whatever strength I have left over from last night, I get up. My head pounds, and the room feels like it’s spinning. Tequila will be my death. My whole body flinches when I hear someone bang on my door. Annoyed, I shuffle out of my room to see who dares disturb me right now.
I fumble with the lock before I finally get the door open and see Laryssa standing there. More importantly, she’s standing there with a giant cup of coffee that is calling my name.
“Gimme.” I make grabby-hands for the coffee.
She snickers and hands it to me. I take a sip and swallow, burning my esophagus in the process, but I don’t care. I don’t stop until my headache dissipates.
Laryssa watches me oddly.
“Don’t stand between a girl and her caffeine,” I mumble.
“I would never. That’s why I didn’t come here empty-handed.”
Stepping aside, I let her walk past me and into my apartment. “What are you doing here?”
I join her on the couch, chugging my coffee like it’s water and I’m parched.
“Checking on you.”
“And?” I ask, suspicious of her true intentions.
She flounders before she finally says it. “And I wanted to see how your night went.”
“There it is.” I put my coffee down.
She laughs, knowing I caught her red-handed. “There what is?”
“Your real reason for bringing me coffee this morning,” I grumble and push the coffee farther from me. “It’s coffee with a side of motive.”
“Wow,” she says and picks up my half-empty coffee cup. “You’re conspiratorial when you’re hungover.”
“And you’re transparent when you need entertainment.”
She puts a hand to her chest. “I am here in your best interest, Monroe, nothing else. And to bring you delicious, caffeinated beverages.”
Laryssa holds the coffee toward me and wiggles it, waiting for me to take it.
It’s too early to put up a fight. “Fine.” I snatch the coffee back. “But no details.”
Laryssa is overjoyed, clapping her hands in delight. I must have seriously lost some brain cells last night because I’m actually going to tell her about my night with Alden, or rather, with the nameless guy I hooked up with last night.
“Sooooo?” she asks in a sing-song tone. “How was it?”
A smile touches my lips as I fondly remember last night. “Fine.”
Laryssa’s brows scrunch. “Fine? That’s all you’re going to give me?”
I chuckle and throw her a bone. “It was a little more than fine, given how sore I am right now.”
Without warning, she squawks. “I knew it! I knew you just needed to get some and you’d be in a better mood.”
I give her an incredulous look. “Do you want some recognition or something?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.”
“You were right then.” I finish my coffee.
Laryssa sits up straighter. “Thank you. It’s rare that I hear that from you, so I’ll be sure to cherish it. So, what’s his name? What did he look like? How big was he?”
I choke on the coffee in my mouth. “I’m not telling you any of that. Especially that last one.”
“Oh, I see,” she ponders. “He had a baby carrot, and you’re embarrassed to admit it. It’s okay. We’ve all been there, trust me—”
I cut her off before I’m subjected to more dick talk this early in the morning. “He didn’t… It wasn’t anything close to resembling a baby carrot,” I mutter.
Her smile is wide and telling. “Well, damn, now I’m jealous. The last guy I was with had a micropenis. Do you know how hard it is to fake—”
“Please, I can’t hear any more of this.” I stand up, circling the coffee table. “And before you ask again… I don’t remember his name. He was hot, but I don’t remember much about him except for—”
“His massive dick,” Laryssa laughs.
“I’m ignoring you now.”
“You didn’t even get his number?”
“Trust me, I’m better off without it.”
And I don’t need Alden’s number, not when I’ll be running into him around the resort for the rest of his stay. God, I’m getting nauseous just thinking about having to make small talk with him after last night. It doesn’t have to be weird between us. We were both consenting adults, and adults hook up all the time. It’s normal. Except nothing involving Alden and me has ever been normal. What have I really gotten myself into?
Laryssa clears her throat, getting my attention. “What was wrong with him? Why didn’t you get his number so you can see him again?”
I chew on my bottom lip. Lying to Laryssa feels wrong, and normally, I don’t, but I made a deal with Alden. And I don’t break my word.
“Nothing was wrong with him, but I left before I could get it.” Which is a half-truth. “It all happened so fast, and I didn’t want to prolong the awkward after-sex talk.”
Laryssa nods, understanding. “Been there. I get it.” She shrugs. “But you never know. Maybe you’ll run into him again the next time we go out.”
I rub the back of my neck, feeling droplets of sweat. “Maybe.”
We’re interrupted by Laryssa’s cell phone ringing. She reaches into her purse, fishing it out. She has a grim expression on her face.
“Who is it?” I ask.
She doesn’t look up, only turns the ringer off. “My mom.” She swallows thickly.
“You should probably call her back, Lar. You know that.”
She stands up from the couch. “Yeah, she’s been calling me since last night.”
“Uh-oh.” I follow her to my door.
“I know. It can’t be good,” she mumbles.
I lean my head against the door frame. “Maybe she just called to wish you a happy birthday.”
Laryssa shakes her head, a wistful look in her eyes. “Or to bitch about how I’m still young enough to go back to school and get a degree in something more useful than waitressing.”
“Yeah, that sounds more like her.” I give Laryssa a kiss on the cheek. “Keep me posted.”
I don’t mention how I also received an out-of-the-blue text from my mother. She doesn’t need to worry about me on top of everything else. I can handle Harriet.
“Sure.” Laryssa waves before she heads down the hallway and toward the stairs.
My insides feel like someone is tying my intestines in knots. Anxiousness at seeing Alden around the resort, lying to Laryssa, and now my mother popping into my life is making me more nauseous than any amount of alcohol ever could. I pull my phone out of my back pocket, thinking it’s better to get this over with.
I stare down at her message, reading it over for the millionth time. I didn’t bother to respond to her last night, not knowing exactly how to summarize everything I’ve been feeling over the last three years into one coherent sentence.
HARRIET:
Can we meet?
I feel like my eyes are playing tricks on me, that I’m imagining that she’s reaching out after years of no communication. My jaw clenches, and I grip my phone firmly.
It’s only three words, and yet, it fills me with enough panic to the point where I feel like she’s standing right in front of me. I can’t believe she’s reaching out—I can’t believe she still has my number. The last time I saw Harriet in person, I had been trying to get a hold of her for so long, always getting her voicemail, until she appeared one day out of the blue. Seeing her in person, as glorious as ever, without a care in the world, brought me a strange apprehension.
Back then, I had been holding out for her to stay, to put me first, above whatever boyfriend she was seeing. But it hadn’t been like that. Instead, we’d gotten into a fight, Harriet choosing to leave with, I think his name was Dale, over resolving things with me. I had grabbed the nearest thing I could find, scribbling my number onto it and giving it to her before she left. I never expected her to keep it. I never expected her to use it.
Watching the message flicker back at me on my piece of shit phone, I am overcome with guilt. Even though I’ve been through this song and dance with her enough times, I still feel like I owe her something. Regardless of where we stand, she’s still my mother. She always will be, and some small part of me, the part I tell myself isn’t there, holds on to the hope that maybe this will be the time she realizes just how crappy she has always been to me.
I know it’s stupid, but craving something as simple as love from my mother isn’t something I can just switch off. So, like the last time and the time before that, I give in.
MONROE:
Where?