32. Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Two
My knee bounces with nerves as I think about my proposal. It’s something I can do in my sleep. But self-doubt still trickles in. Humboldt requested that we meet in his suite, and I agreed. Now, here I am, but instead of presenting my proposal, I’m waiting for him to finish packing. It’s chaotic and last minute on his part, but at least we get to meet before he takes off back to New York. Still, the rush of the situation has me on edge. His flight is later this afternoon, and the time pressure makes my skin prick.
There’s a nauseous tide that is working my stomach. I check my watch again, hoping this goes as smoothly since I’m meeting Monroe for lunch soon.
“Somewhere you need to be, Van Doren?” Humboldt appears from the bedroom, suitcase in hand. He throws it onto the couch and makes his way to me.
“Not at all,” I lie.
He hums, but I don’t know if he believes me.
I need to calm down. My anxiousness is making me blow this before it’s even begun. As I control my breathing, I try to picture something else besides this going horribly. My eyes flutter closed, and I imagine Monroe waiting for me outside the resort. She’s wearing a sundress and has her hair down. It blows in the warm summer breeze. The image calms me down.
“We should get started.” My nerves fade when I open my eyes. “You don’t want to miss your flight.”
He snorts and moves around the couch to sit across from me at the conference table in the corner.
“It’s my chopper, Van Doren. It doesn’t fly without me.”
“Fair enough.” I hand him my folder. “As you can see, there are several emerging sectors that, given your portfolio, would give you the maximum return—”
Humboldt opens the folder, brows furrowing as he looks at it. “This isn’t your resume.”
“No, it’s my proposal. Why would I give you my resume?”
He closes the folder and sets it down on the glass table. My stomach plummets.
“Didn’t my assistant call you about this?”
Blood rushes to my ears. “Your assistant? I don’t understand.”
He sighs heavily as if this hold-up is bothering him. “Fucking Bridget,” he mutters, then looks up at me. “I told her to give you the message. It doesn’t matter. She was going to tell you that I already hired Braxton.”
My worst fears come true. Are you fucking kidding me?
“I thought you said I had five days?” I ask, scavenging my brain for an explanation that makes sense. “It’s day five, Warren.”
Humboldt stands, and so do I. He’s not getting out of this conversation that easily. I can’t believe this jackass, pawning off his dirty work onto his assistant.
“What can I say, Alden? Braxton was hungrier. He only needed three.”
This can’t be happening right now. I lost potentially my biggest client to Hayes, and I just let it happen. What will the board think?
“Fuck,” I mutter and rub my chin.
Humboldt grabs my shoulder and looks at me head-on, like I’m a child he’s teaching a lesson to.
“All’s fair in business,” he says in a condescending tone that makes me furious. “You should know that.”
My skin crawls, and I shrug away from his touch.
“I understand. He beat me to it.”
I hear the words I’m saying out loud, and yet, I don’t mean them. Not one bit. The board will have my ass over this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end, and my stomach clenches painfully.
Humboldt breathes a sigh of relief, I assume because he thinks I’m taking this so well.
“I’m going to level with you, Alden.” He touches me again, and I glare a hole into his hand, seconds away from ripping it off me. Humboldt must sense it because he removes it. “I wanted to give you my business, I really did, but you seem distracted by something else lately. I can’t afford to make another mistake, so I had to go with Braxton.”
“Distracted? In what way?”
He tilts his head. “Do I really need to answer that?”
“Yes,” I snarl.
“We’ve all been there. Distracted by pussy. It’s happened since the beginning of time, and I don’t blame you. There are some hot pieces around here.”
My chest constricts. Distracted? Never. I’ve never been more clear-headed in my life. Maybe this has been a sign. As much as I hate that word, it’s the only possibility I can reasonably come to right now. Maybe there’s a reason I didn’t get this pig as a client.
“Your wife must love coming here.”
Humboldt blinks like he didn’t expect me to say that.
“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” He steps closer to me. “We’ve all indulged a little on vacation, Alden, it happens. Between you and me, I’ve had my eye on this black-haired beauty for a while, this tight little thing with a firecracker attitude. But Betty has been attached to my hip this whole trip, so I didn’t have the chance to find out how fiery she can get.” His eyebrows raise suggestively. “Maybe next year, hmm?”
Protectiveness rises in my chest, and I recoil. I have the feeling I know exactly who he’s talking about. To stop myself from punching him, I grind my teeth. And I want to hit him. So, so badly.
“Alden? Are you all right?” Humboldt asks, looking what I think is concerned. “You went all pale there for a second. I’m sorry, but that’s why I asked Bridget to tell you to bring your resume.”
“Why?” I bite out.
“Because I’m going to offer you a different job.”
I shake my head, my sanity on the edge of snapping. “I’m not a lawyer.”
He laughs like I’ve said something funny. “No, not as a lawyer. I want you on our board.”
My brows raise in surprise. He’s serious. “Me? On your board? That doesn’t make any sense.”
Humboldt explains, “Since I’m a partner at the firm, I’m allowed to suggest someone new to sit on the board every quarter, and I choose you. You’ve got a real knack for business, Alden, and with your financial background, you could be a real asset to us.”
I scoff in his face. Truly scoff. “Why would I ever want to work with you?”
His eyes darken. “Think about your future, Alden. All that money is fine, but actual power? Why would you ever pass that up?”
Everything clicks. “Wait. The rumours were true, weren’t they? You don’t want me because of my financial background. You want to use me as a pawn, someone on your side, when the accusations come flowing in. That’s it, isn’t it? You need someone on the board to overlook your inappropriate behaviour.” Humboldt’s jaw ticks. “Did I hit the nail on the head, Warren?”
“Don’t act like you’re better than me, Alden. We’re both in the same boat. We’ve both done the same things. I’m offering you this as a friend.”
My stomach grows sour at his use of the word friend. I grip his shoulder hard, his face wincing from the pressure.
“We are not the same. I have never used my status to lure anyone into my bed. I’ve never threatened anyone so that they’d sleep with me. I’ve never hurt anyone, but you have. I’d never be in the same room with you again if I could help it. Let alone work for you.”
He takes a step back, and I release him. “I’ll take that as a no.”
“Correction: a resounding no.”
I need to get out of here.
His voice stops me as I reach the door. “What are you going to tell your board? Don’t forget I looked into you, too. You need me, Alden.”
My hand is inches away from the doorknob, but I hesitate. He’s really threatening me right now.
“Say yes, and firing Braxton and replacing him with you is one phone call away.”
I turn around. “That’s where we differ, Warren. I have money and power, and I know how to use them. So, I won’t work for you, and I won’t be jerked around by my board, either. I’m choosing a third option.”
“Which is?”
“Myself. For the first time in years, I’m choosing me.”
The door slams behind me, and I feel like I can breathe. All the weight, all the pressure, it left when I refused Humboldt’s offer. Screw the board. If they want to have Humboldt as a client, they’ll have to make that deal without my approval. He’s scum, and one whisper to my contact at The New York Times will have everyone knowing, too.
My heart trills with confidence, and I feel like I can do anything. And there’s one place I want to go now. I want to go to Monroe.
With my foot, I tap on Monroe’s door, not wanting to drop the gifts I got for her. The door opens within seconds, and her eyes blink me in. There’s a gentle smile on her face, and I steal a kiss quickly. Just being around her makes me giddy.
I pull out the first surprise from behind my back. A pint of coffee-flavoured ice cream. Her eyes shine, and her smile widens.
“I thought something edible was better than flowers. Especially knowing you can’t resist anything to do with coffee.”
Monroe laughs. “I think someone is telling you my secrets.”
She lets me into the apartment, and I’m careful not to turn my back on her.
“It’s not a secret how much you love coffee, Monroe. I have eyes.”
When we enter the kitchen, she bends down to put the ice cream in the freezer, and I can’t peel my eyes away from her ass. Monroe comes to stand in front of me, crossing her arms.
“While I appreciate the ice cream, I was also secretly hoping for flowers.”
Grinning, I say, “Well, you’re in luck because I was hoping you could take these off my hands.”
From behind my back, I pull out the bouquet and watch her face transform as she takes in the lilies.
“Alden… they’re beautiful.”
Monroe takes them from me, and I watch her take out a plastic bowl and fill it with water. She puts the giant bouquet into the bowl, and her head tilts to the side when she sees that they are falling over the rim.
Monroe turns to me sheepishly. “Nobody has gotten me flowers before. I don’t have a vase.”
It annoys me to think that nobody has ever cared enough to give her flowers before.
“We need to address the vase issue if flowers will be a regular occurrence.”
The need to touch her overwhelms me, and I scoop her up in my arms, filling myself with her scent. She squeezes me back just as hard, and her face drops to my chest.
When she pulls back, she asks, “How’d you know I liked lilies? I don’t go around telling people what my favourite flower is. You couldn’t have known.”
With one swift movement, I lift her onto the kitchen counter. And I place myself between her legs.
“The last time I was here. I saw the picture of them in your room. I took an educated guess, and it looks like it worked out well.”
Monroe punches my chest, but there’s no force behind it. “Where did you come from? Hmm?”
I plant a kiss on her forehead. “I’ve been here, just waiting for you to join me.”
At that, her face drops, and the air changes. She pushes against my chest, and I take a step back, letting her hop off the counter. My eyes follow her as she heads into the living room.
“I wish you hadn’t said that.”
Was it the wrong thing to say?
I walk into the living room. “I know this seems like it’s happening fast, Monroe, but we’ve known each other for a long time, so for me, it feels like the pieces are finally coming together, and I want to enjoy every second.”
Firmly, I grip her waist to keep her in place. Her eyes have a faraway look in them, so I lean in closer to bring her back to me. Our lips meet, and I hope she’ll kiss me back. Monroe rises onto her toes, opening herself up to me as she devours my mouth. Her tongue slips into my mouth, and I let her take charge. But she pulls back abruptly, huffing as she steps back. Something is definitely wrong here.
“No, no, I told myself I’d do this with a clear head, and you’re making it so hard.”
Her lips are puffy and red, and where she normally has a look of hunger after we kiss, she’s frowning instead.
“What are you talking about, Monroe?”
I’ve had enough surprises today. I can’t take anymore.
“I got fired today.”
That’s the last thing I thought I’d hear. She retreats from my attempt to wrap her in my arms and hug her.
“What happened? Did they give you a reason?”
She laughs incredulously. “The reason was obvious.” Her hands find her hips.
“They found out,” I whisper, then add louder, “How?”
“Charlotte.”
Anger bubbles and ignites that protectiveness inside me.
“I’ll fix it. I’ll tell her to tell them she was lying, or I’ll fire her or something. I’ll make sure you get your job back.” My mind is scattered, and I run a hand through my hair.
“No, Alden. You can’t fix this, okay? There’s nothing to fix.” Monroe sighs. “I already admitted to it.”
My hands cup her face, but she’s limp, like she isn’t even here anymore.
“We can go to your boss or the owners. I can do that; I can talk to them. Please, let me fix this. It’s my fault this is happening.”
She tips her chin up, and her green eyes seem dull. “You’re not the only one to blame here, Alden. It’s my fault, too. I let this happen, knowing it could get out, that it would cost me.”
My hands slip from her face. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I need to start over. I need to get myself back on my feet. I need to find a new job and a new place to live—”
“Why do you need to find a new place?”
Monroe picks at her nails. “I can’t stay here. They won’t let me. I don’t have a job anymore, so they’re going to kick me out when I can’t pay the rent next month.”
“Fine. You’ll stay with me. In New York.”
Monroe makes a choked sound.
“Just stop trying to fix this. Stop giving me solutions. You can’t fix this because I don’t want you to.”
I shake my head. “Don’t say anything else, Monroe. You’re going to say it, and it’s going to destroy me, so don’t. Just don’t.”
She takes two small steps toward me and clings to me like she needs the strength. As I press a kiss to the top of her head, she begins to pull away.
“I’m not done,” I announce and hold on to her tighter.
I hug her for a while before I finally let her go.
“I can’t be with you, Alden. Not while my life is going up in flames. I know you can’t relate to this. I know you’re used to waving your magic wad of cash and having problems disappear, but this is my life, one I’ve built with no one’s help. It’s mine. And I need to fix this on my own.”
My whole world stops, and I can’t catch my breath.
“So, that’s it then? It ends like that.”
There are tears in her eyes. “I told you, I need to fix this.” She won’t look at me.
“We can fix it together. Let me help you. Lean on me, please.”
Monroe bites her cheek, silently considering my words for a second. “You can’t fix what you broke, Alden.”
“If you want me to apologize for the way things happened, I won’t. We owe ourselves more than that. I’m furious at the situation, that you lost your job. But I won’t be sorry for caring about you.”
Monroe’s shoulders square, and she stares me down. “Maybe you should be. You wanted to start something with me, you pushed me to admit my feelings, and you slept with Charlotte in the first place!” She pauses and rubs the bridge of her nose. “We were careless, and it cost us. If it wasn’t her, it would’ve been someone else. I know that this whole thing is beneath you, but this is what happens when regular people break the rules. We lose.”
My pulse kicks up. If she wants to blame me for this, I’ll let her blame me, but I won’t let her blame us.
“Rules are meant to be broken, Monroe.”
She scoffs and points at me. “That right there. That’s entitlement talking. You live life without having to worry about the rules, but I do. I don’t have an endless supply of money or resources at my disposal to get me out of trouble. I can’t afford to make mistakes.”
My spine becomes rigid. “A mistake?”
Monroe looks almost apologetic. Almost . She worries her bottom lip but nods.
“Yeah, a mistake. This has been one huge, messy mistake, and I’m finally seeing it clearly.”
I’m at a loss. She’s never been this resentful, and I can’t bear to witness it.
“You’re right. This has been a mistake. It was a mistake thinking that we could build something that we’ve spent five years fighting against. There’s a reason why people who start as flings can’t make a relationship last. Because it doesn’t work. This is proof of it.”
I grow numb, as if someone left a window open during a biting winter night and it’s drifting through me. The wind filters through my empty chest cavity and makes me shiver.
“You need to leave,” Monroe says, still refusing to look at me.
“Don’t worry. I am.”
Even though my heart tells me to, I don’t look back at her. It was never destined to work between us, not when there’s been so much against this. So much history, so much hostility, just… too much. My vacation ends today. I still technically have until tomorrow, but I need to get out of that resort now. I need to get out of Palm Beach.