Chapter 15
Rya~
I was in the kitchen, getting us both something to drink, and I couldn’t help but feel like inviting him back to my place had been stupid beyond belief.
Even though I really did owe him that apology, having Koen Wilder in my apartment might be a bit too much for me-or any girl-to handle.
Nevertheless, I’d already invited the devil to my front door, so now there was nothing left to do but play this out.
I walked back to the living room, then after handing him his beer, I got comfortable on the couch, making sure to leave a full cushion between us.
Though I’d been extremely forward for inviting him back here, I still didn’t want to give him the wrong impression.
Though getting your world rocked by Koen Wilder might be worth all the heartache in the morning, I still wasn’t about to jump the man.
“So, what else did you want to know?” I asked, trying to sound like I wasn’t about to hyperventilate.
Koen set his beer on the coffee table, then eyed me.
“Rya, if you’ve changed your mind about me being here, all you have to do is say so,” he said.
“I won’t get offended or upset, I promise.
Contrary to what drunk frat boys may believe, a girl has the right to change her mind about anything and everything. ”
I let out a huge sigh, though I made sure to smile. “Was I being that obvious?”
“I think that you’re still not sure about me, and it kind of shows,” he replied honestly.
“But I’ve got all the time in the world, baby.
” Then he immediately grimaced as he added, “Well, except for during our fiscal budget reviews, planning of the company Christmas party, and pretty much any time that we land a new investor.”
“So, is that your way of saying that I’m never going to see you again?” I quipped.
“That’s my way of saying that you’re going to have to be patient with me, and when we are able to spend time together, we’re going to have to make it count,” he replied seriously, though he did have a grin on his face.
After setting my own beer on the coffee table, I asked, “What are you expecting from me, Koen?”
“Rya, I just want to date you,” he answered. “I want to date you, get to know you, and maybe build a future with you if we get to that point. But for right now, I just want to learn everything that I can about the pet groomer who kicks ass during pool.”
“Well, I hate to break it to you, but that about sums it up,” I chuckled lamely.
Koen moved closer to me, then reached out to grab a few strands of my hair, letting it slide through his fingers. “No, baby. There’s a lot more to you than just a job and a hobby. There are your friends, parents, childhood, dreams, passions, experiences, and this goddamn hair of yours.”
“What’s...what’s wrong with my hair?”
“Nothing,” he answered, his voice lower, deeper, and doing crazy things to me. “It’s just got to be the prettiest shade of fire that I’ve ever seen.”
Staring into his grey eyes, I decided to be as honest as I could be. “You’re going to hurt me, aren’t you?”
“Actually, I think you have that backwards, Rya,” he replied, his fingers still playing with my hair. “I think that you’re going to have me on my knees before I even know it.”
He sounded so convincing that it brought tears to my eyes, my emotions everywhere.
Never in a million years did I ever believe that a guy like Koen Wilder would be interested in me, much less sitting in my living room, telling me that he was fascinated with the color of my hair.
For years, I had settled with a lot less than I had probably deserved out of fear of getting my hopes up, because hope was a dangerous, dangerous thing to have when you were used to the ugly side of life.
“I wouldn’t know the first thing about breaking someone’s heart,” I whispered, letting him know that it was definitely going to be the other way around.
“You say that like making me exist without you wouldn’t be enough,” he said right before his hand slid around my neck, and the next thing that I knew, Koen freakin’ Wilder was kissing me.
As if I’d never kissed anyone in my life, my hands went to my thighs, and my fingers dug into the thick flesh, doing my best to hold on to some sense of reality. Koen’s lips were soft, his tongue was insistent, and he tasted like he could make all my worries go away.
He was also kissing me like he was afraid that I might freak out at any moment, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
I didn’t want him treating me like fragile glass, but I also didn’t want him to treat me like another motel room hookup.
I wanted this to matter, and the only way to do that was to make sure that neither of us treated the other like a two o’clock am option.
Just then, Koen pulled back, and my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest. He was looking at me like he couldn’t bear not to, and I’d never had a guy look at me like that before.
His grey eyes were a dark pewter, alive with a need that made me feel wanted in a way that I’d never thought possible.
“I think I’m going to go, baby,” he said, and I felt the disappointment all the way to my toes.
“What? Why?”
“Because I want more from you than is appropriate on a first date, and I refuse to fuck this up,” he said, and I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. Koen was saying and doing all the right things, and it was fucking me up something fierce.
“What...what if I don’t want you to go?” I asked, practically panting.
“Rya, don’t do this to me,” he begged. “I didn’t bring a condom with me because-”
“I have some,” I quickly rushed out, and his eyes darkened in a way that made me a bit crazy.
“I don’t want to know that you have condoms,” he replied, his voice hard. “I want to pretend like you didn’t have a life before you met me.”
Feminists all over the world would be outraged by such a statement, but all I felt was a dangerous warmth spread across my chest, loving that a man might really be jealous over me for the first time in my entire life.
“I want you to stay,” I finally told him. “I’d like you to stay, and I’d like you to stay all night.”
Koen gave me a tight nod before saying, “If I stay, then I’m staying for more than just one night, Rya. If I stay, then that means that you are mine, I am yours, and that we’re doing this for real.” His hand tightened on my neck as he added, “So, be sure of what you’re asking, baby.”
Scared out of my mind, I said, “I want you to stay.”
Without another word, Koen’s lips were back on mine, but now he was kissing me with a desire that I hadn’t been expecting but still welcomed all the same.
He was kissing me like he couldn’t get enough, and that’s when I finally grabbed his shirt in my hands, then held on as I let his sweet assault on my mouth take me under.
When I felt him getting closer, forcing me to lie down on the couch, I didn’t fight him or ask him to stop. Instead, I let the weight of his body and the searing heat of his kiss make me forget all the reasons why Koen Wilder was out of my league.
“Christ, baby,” he murmured against my lips as his hand finally slid underneath my blouse, the warmth from his palm leaving a wicked trail of heat on my skin. “You feel so fucking good beneath me.”
Even if I had anything to say to that, I couldn’t.
Koen’s lips began trailing down my neck, and when his hand finally cupped my left breast, all I could do was moan.
Everything about him felt so damn good, and I didn’t care if I was getting in over my head.
Right now, in this moment, Koen Wilder felt worth any heartbreak that may be waiting for me at the end of all this.
When I felt Koen lifting my shirt, my first instinct was to push it back down, but not because he’d see me in all my plus size glory.
Not having expected the night to end this way, I hadn’t worn my nice underwear, and so with my chest being as big as it was, I’d gone with a utilitarian bra for support.
“My...uhm, my bra is full support, so...so you probably-”
“Thank you, Jesus,” he muttered against the soft skin of my stomach, and though it seemed ridiculous, it made me smile. If Koen was a breast man, then he was definitely going to get his money’s worth with me.
“I’ll need to sit up to take it off, Koen,” I informed him. “I...I wasn’t expecting this, so I didn’t wear my sexy underwear.”
Koen chuckled as he lifted his head to look at me. “Rya, it’s not the underwear that makes the woman look sexy, it’s the other way around. You could wear a goddamn grocery sack, and I’d still be hard as fuck for you, baby.”
Yeah, Koen Wilder was dangerous.
Not wanting to ruin the moment any more than I’d already had, I leaned upward until I could finally pull my shirt up over my head, and the second that I did, Koen’s hands were there to unhook my bra, finally giving him the access to my body that he wanted.
When my breast fell free, Koen let out a low hiss. “Sweet fucking Christ.”
Tears stung my eyes because, for the first time in my life, I felt genuinely wanted, and if the little rejected girl in me wasn’t in love with Koen by the time the sun came up tomorrow, I’d be surprised. In fact, it probably wasn’t even going to take all night.