Chapter Eleven
“What happened, Sitri?” Apollo shouted the question as we approached, his face grim.
He’d donned a crude helmet and had two sheaths secured at his side, but I saw no signs of combat; no lifeless bodies, spilled blood, or discarded weaponry. Whatever danger he’d expected, it never came.
Sitri brought the mare to a halt in front of his mansion, a few feet shy of Apollo, and slid effortlessly off her back.
“An ambush. Vapula had forces waiting to catch us on arrival,” Sitri muttered. “Three legions of fortifications, five of laborers, all slain or stranded. The bridge fell, and not by choice. I’d estimate at least ten thousand in losses.”
“And Draven?”
Sitri shook his head. “He followed his men into the gorge. Find a replacement. Our time to regroup grows short.”
A look of shock came over Apollo’s face, barely visible under his helmet.
I wished I shared his surprise. I’d seen it all firsthand.
I wore the proof on my bloodstained clothes, wet and cold against my skin.
Shivers wracked me, making my teeth chatter, but I wasn’t sure if Hell’s eternal chill was truly to blame.
Sitri turned back to me, and I shrank beneath his gaze. White-hot fire burned in his silver eyes. As they met my own, the fire fizzled out. They closed for a moment, and then his downward-pointed lips went slack. How pathetic must I look to make a demon Prince drop his ire?
He heaved a sigh and returned to my side, sitting me up without a word and helping me dismount. I didn’t bother trying to resist him. He was steady, unlike me, and guided me with ease. As we passed, Sitri thrust the horse’s reins into Apollo’s hands.
“Take this to the stables,” the Prince ordered. “Make sure you clean up any mess that was left in there. Secure the place while you’re at it. I have matters I must attend to.”
“Of course, Prince Sitri.”
Apollo bowed his head in obedience, though he appeared as shaken as I was.
His fist clenched tight around the horse’s reins when he took them.
As he turned away, a tear rolled down his cheek and glittered in the firelight—another reminder of what I’d done, and the consequences everyone here would face.
“This way,” Sitri instructed as he opened the door to his mansion.
I nodded, heeding the command. I expected Sitri to march me to his office or lock me away in some hidden dungeon. Instead, we walked the path to my bedroom, the one place I’d treated as my own since my death.
When we arrived, I swallowed, my heart sinking.
The door hung open wide. By the looks of it, Sitri’s demons had tossed my room from top to bottom.
Searched it for… something. Proof of my betrayal, perhaps, or hazards I’d planted.
Whatever it was, they hadn’t found it. It was never there to begin with.
They’d left the place in disarray. Sheets and blankets no longer dressed the bed but lay scattered in heaps on the floor. Drawers hung from the dresser frame at awkward angles. One sat upside-down halfway across the room, and the clothes Sitri had given me were strewn about.
In my absence, my sanctum had been desecrated. I pretended not to notice. Any weakness I exposed could become a weapon in Sitri’s hands, and I didn’t plan to give him that power.
It took the last of my willpower to step over the mess and approach my bare-stripped bed. I sat on its edge and crossed my arms over my chest.
Sitri snatched a lantern from a hook in the hallway, followed me inside, and closed the door.
Now that he’d been bathed in light, I could see his armor was ruined.
Blood soaked it, and with how tattered it was, I couldn’t tell if it belonged to him or came from his enemies.
A glance down at my own clothes, and the ever-present reek of gore reminded me I fared no better.
He took a seat atop a pillow a few feet from the bed and looked up at me with his piercing silver eyes.
“What in Hell were you thinking, Lillia?” He spoke in a voice as soft as velvet, as lethal as cyanide.
I couldn’t bring myself to meet his gaze. “I was thinking I needed to get out of here,” I answered. “Before something happened to me.”
“We had an arrangement. If you had stayed here and upheld your end of the bargain, I would have kept you safe.”
My hands balled up the fabric of my pants. I was still shaking. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop the tremors that wracked me. “I heard what you said last night, with Apollo and… Draven. I know you think I’m one of them, and you want to bend me to your will.”
I forced my eyes to meet Sitri’s, expecting him to be angry, but it wasn’t anger that crossed his face.
His brows furrowed with concern, and his lips pursed, as if he were deep in thought.
His leg bounced, tapping his boot against the floor.
In the near-silent room, the sound became all-consuming.
Just when I worried it would drive me mad, the Prince stilled.
“His soldiers attacked you, and you brought light to a darkened battlefield with no real way to defend yourself. One of Vapula’s saboteurs wouldn’t do something so foolish.
You practically announced your presence, a mistake that would have damned you if not for me.
No matter the possibilities before, it is clear now that you act alone. ”
For many long moments, I stared at Sitri, wishing I could read his mind. Had he discovered the truth on his own, or was this just another lie? Had he given me a glimpse into his motivations, or crafted a new narrative to serve him?
He sighed. “I just saved you from an eternity of subjugation, Lillia. Do you truly think I would hurt you?”
“I didn’t until last night.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, but what you have done today has hurt me and my kingdom terribly.”
His words made me wince. Would that battle have gone any differently without my interference?
Maybe all the demons who had collapsed into the gorge or been stranded on its banks would still be around.
Draven’s face flashed through my mind. Apollo seemed so distraught at the news of his loss.
Draven had meant something to him, possibly even been family to him.
I found it hard to breathe knowing how many demons—how many people—I’d destroyed.
“Sitri?” His eyes settled on me. “Can demons die in Hell?”
“You don’t want to know,” Sitri said, once again denying me information.
“You’re right, I don’t want to know. I need to know. Please, just tell me.”
The Prince locked his lips as he looked me over.
“What we suffer is worse than death; annihilation is its name. Tear a demon’s soul apart, and there’s nowhere for it to go, nothing left of it.”
“And human souls…?” I asked, fearing I already knew what he’d say.
“Yes, you are at its mercy as well. Humans and demons are more alike than you realize.”
I flinched at Sitri’s words. They pierced me like a knife. It was an accusation, likening me to him and to the monsters he commanded, to Vapula and his shameless exploitation…
“We aren’t alike, Sitri.” I straightened as I spoke, towering over the demon sitting on the floor below me. “I’m here because I made a mistake, and it cost me everything. This is your home, not your prison. We don’t have anything in common.”
“Oh? You really think we are so different?”
Sitri leaped to his feet. Bent over at the waist. I shrank back as his presence overwhelmed me, his face hanging close to mine, bathing me in the heat of his body. The stench of blood and incensed smoke rolled over me. The burning flame of rage returned to his eyes, and his lips curled in a snarl.
“I can give us more in common, if that’s what you desire.
I can steal your humanity. Twist you into whatever form most pleases me, humanoid or beast, and you wouldn’t have a say,” he spat.
“To corrupt your kind is the way of demons, the reason we persist, the reason we rule. You should be grateful I haven’t forced that on you, done to you as was done to me. ”
Silence fell over the room. My eyes widened. “You were…”
“Human,” he whispered, his voice finally quieting. “I was human a very long time ago, but my humanity was stripped from me. It was stripped from all of us.”
Sitri pulled back and dropped into a crouch. My heartbeat quickened as the true horror of his words set in. I looked him over with fresh eyes.
He hadn’t always been a monster. He’d had a life, lost his life, and wound up here.
Just like I had.
“It was so very long ago. Those memories have faded now. Sometimes, I wonder if I was ever human at all, or if it was but a fleeting dream,” Sitri said in a hushed voice.
“Centuries in Hell have changed me. If you don’t meet a grisly end down here, it will change you, too, Lillia.
I have tried to spare you the realities of this world. You’ve made that an impossible task.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Anger still simmered in my chest, threatening to overtake me, but fear kept it leashed. “I never asked to be spared; I asked for protection. You promised to treat me as one of your own. How long did you think I would believe that lie?”
“Long enough for it to become true. Long enough for you to accept this as your home, my court as your peers, and me as your master. I see now that I must settle for being the lesser of two evils instead.”
Sitri’s hands made their way to his armor, finding and undoing the buckles that secured it. I watched as scraps fell away. Globs of congealed blood clung to it. Drops of fresher, crimson liquid ran down his figure, mixing with glistening sweat.