Chapter Twenty-Seven #2
His statement burned with raw, aching truth, but it didn’t surprise me.
Those confessions changed nothing, not when I’d suspected his lies from the start.
I’d made my peace with them. The rise and fall of Sitri’s chest grew ragged, and his expression twisted.
I reached out, cupping his cheeks in my hands.
He stiffened at my touch, froze, but didn’t pull away—even as I brought my face to his.
I closed my eyes and pressed our foreheads together. “I haven’t forgotten, Sitri.”
How could I? I’d never forget how he wrapped his fingers around my throat, forced me into contact I didn’t want.
He’d caged me, cornered me, controlled me…
vowed to make a demon out of me. I worried he’d do it at any cost. Even when my refusal held him at bay, the fear was always there.
He’d kept me guessing what was real, what he wanted from me.
Under those conditions, I’d let him break me down until I couldn’t tell where his lies ended and the truth began.
And when I broke, when I came undone at the seams, he sewed me back together again—remade me stronger, freer, whole in a way I’d never been before.
“I remember what it was like,” I whispered. “I was afraid of you then, but I’m not afraid anymore.”
“Maybe… maybe that’s the problem.” Sitri took a shuddering breath, and as he let it out, its warmth bathed my cheeks.
“Maybe you should be afraid of me.”
“Even if I should be, I’m not. You said I reminded you of your human self, your true self. I think I finally understand why. You’ve walked in my shoes. You’ve been at the mercy of wicked demons and survived.”
“That ‘true self’ doesn’t exist anymore, Lillia. I can hardly remember him. All that remains are empty moments, vague names, strange faces… and even those will vanish in the coming centuries, if I am fortunate enough to survive them.”
“Tell me what you can remember, then. I’ve given you my memories; they live on in you. Share yours with me. Together, we can keep the stories of our lives and stand the test of time.”
Silence followed, so absolute that I didn’t dare to breathe.
Sitri trembled against me. He shook under the weight of his secrets, uncertain whether to reveal them.
I ran my thumb along his cheek, down his jaw, savoring his rough stubble on my skin.
Only when I reached his lips did his bitter scent fade.
“Elias,” he whispered at last, so quiet I almost thought I had imagined it. “My name was Elias Lansing back when I was human. That name has lost its luster with time. I gave up on it long ago, and I haven’t spoken it aloud or heard it on another’s tongue since I became the Prince Sitri.”
“Prince Elias Lansing.” His true name flowed from my mouth, smooth as silk, sweet as sugar. He froze, loosed a shuddering exhale that betrayed how much it meant to him.
“And your eyes. What color are they really?”
“Blue as the snowy sea.” Sitri’s voice cracked.
“You lived somewhere cold?”
“A town called Chatham. It wasn’t always cold, but when it was, I thrived. The ice and snow felt like home to me.”
That town sounded so familiar. I’d known a place called Chatham; I’d visited it before my death.
I brought my arm around him, pulling him close as the first tears stained his cheeks.
“Massachusetts, then? I lived and died there, too. It was beautiful in the wintertime. I wish we could have seen it together.”
“Perhaps in another life we could have, but there is no winter in Hell. Two centuries separated our time on Earth. We have no hope of such a thing now, darling.”
It was a truth he wholeheartedly believed, and one I couldn’t quite deny. There were no seasons, no stars, no sunlight, or even wind in a place like this. Hell was a realm of still, dead, decaying things; a prison, inescapable and cruel.
And yet, here we were, fighting for love in this terrible place—fighting for something that, against all odds, resembled a strange kind of life.
“What do you want?” I asked. “This is your kingdom. You have the final say in what happens next.”
“I want this nightmare to be over. Odds are, tomorrow it will be.”
I brought my hand to Sitri’s thigh and stroked the hardened leather that covered it. “Please stay here, where it’s safe, where Vapula won’t get to you. If you fall, everyone falls with you.”
Though I hoped I’d been convincing, I knew Sitri could sense my desires, my secrets.
The real reason I wanted him here was far more selfish; I had worked hard the past few weeks to build this strange new existence.
The thought of losing Sitri, being taken from my home, falling into the hands of my abuser… it was almost too much to bear.
“That’s why I’m here,” he assured me, “but it doesn’t make this any easier.”
“I know.”
The silence returned, oppressive as ever. Sitri’s foot started to tap again. His restlessness fueled my ever-growing anxiety. Desperate for a distraction, I eyed the makeshift arena. The quarters were closer than I was used to fighting in. They presented a unique challenge to be overcome.
“Think we can manage one more training session?”
I hoped it would be a valuable chance to learn, but Sitri shook his head.
“Sparring would be risky. It is for the best that we hold off.” He pulled back until our faces no longer touched and wiped the tears from his face.
“What I’d like most of all is to share the time we have.
Dwelling on the past reopens old wounds, and we cannot see through the fog of the future. Let us exist here and now.”
Sitri reached for my cheek, cupping and caressing it. He leaned forward. Our lips met. I closed my eyes and sank into him, savored his mouth on mine.
He was everything—my strength, my courage, my shield, and my sword.
I would raise Hell itself if it meant that I could have this.
When our faces separated, I tightened my hold on his leg. The warmth of desire blossomed in my hips. The ice-fire burning in Sitri’s eyes told me I wasn’t alone in my desires.
“Let us revel in one another,” he whispered. “Let us dance, let us consummate.”
His face found its way to the crook of my neck, kissing and nipping along the sensitive skin. Shudders tore through me, soft moans escaped my lips as I drew him closer. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Sitri ran his hands down my body, caressing my curves beneath my clothes.
Before I pieced his plan together, I was airborne.
The Prince lifted me against his chest, and I clung tight to him. He walked with footsteps lighter than air. I felt like a Princess—his Princess—as he twirled me around the shelter. This could have been a barn or a castle—I didn’t care. He was the only thing that mattered.
“If it’s revelry you want,” I whispered, a grin crossing my face, “then are you looking to take a risk?”
Sitri’s lips parted in a smile. “Is that a challenge, darling?”
“It depends.” My mouth met his ear. “What price would I pay if it is? For taunting the Prince of Lust and Lies?”
I nipped at his neck, just hard enough to make him growl, for his hold on me to tighten and his fingers to curl into claws.
“I can only be so rough with you tonight, but I will still put you through your paces,” he warned.
“Good. I’d like to see you try.”
I raised my head from his throat, holding it high. Defiant. My lips curled backward and bared my fangs in a grin, one as wicked as Sitri’s own. His eyes lit up, drinking in my darkness.
“It would be too easy if you didn’t show your teeth,” I whispered. “So go on—prove you can put me in my place, and if you can’t?
“Then it will be you who bows to me.”