Chapter 22 #3
“I didn’t know her,” David said, straining to get the words out. He’d known Blaire existed, peripherally. He’d only spared her thought when she was visiting his fake mother in the prison he called home.
The woman’s head tilted. “She had a great deal to say about you.”
“Nothing good, I’m sure.”
She drew a surprised breath and glanced at Kywyn, who offered an encouraging nod.
The golden woman clasped her hands before her. “I apologize. Let me start over. My name is Elenya Manae. I am told you are called David?”
He declined to answer.
She expelled a slow puff of air. “Twenty-one years ago I gave birth to you and entrusted your care to Blaire’s friend, Xandra. Blaire says that what happened between then and now involved some sordid activities regarding your adoptive father, whom Xandra could not control. Is that correct?”
David did nothing except narrow his eyes, but his brain snagged on one word.
Adoptive.
Was Garrett Berkeley not his real father?
His insides completely disappeared. In their place existed a block of solid ice.
A hot hand snuck into his, burning unwanted happiness all the way to his elbow.
Elenya stuttered in his silence. “I—I am so sorry, David. I had no idea where you’d landed. Caden’s mother was meant to keep you and him together, to forge a bond. But I understand that did not happen?”
He did not reply.
“I had no idea Xandra intended to take a…lover. She promised she would keep you safe. I can’t understand why she kept you with…him.”
“She loved him, obviously,” David said. “He was violent and cruel, but she didn’t care. Even when he beat her, she still loved him.”
Elenya’s eyebrows rose.
Growing irritated, David shook off Autumn’s hand and crossed his arms. “You look surprised, which is vaguely disappointing. You can’t imagine that someone would put the needs of a child who isn’t theirs over their own desires?”
A sheen appeared in Elenya’s eyes. “She said she loved you.”
“Then she either lied or she doesn’t understand what love is.”
“She’s a deva, Elenya,” Kywyn murmured. “He might have been her lumá.”
Elenya swallowed, and her gaze fell to the floor.
David stared at the top of her gold head. “If that man isn’t my father, then who is?”
“A sylph,” she said faintly, still staring at the floor. “Shortly after your birth, he made his way north.”
Made his way north? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
“Immortality weighs on some more than others,” Autumn whispered near his ear. “After so many years, some crave relief and flee to the beaches in the north, where the water provides them a gentle end.”
Suicide beach. Got it. He’d filter that one away for later thought.
“I wish I could have kept you,” Elenya whispered, almost to herself. “I thought—I thought I was doing the right thing. You would have been so unsafe here, no matter where I took you. And Lana…she was so sure Viterra was the right place.”
A long silence stretched in which Autumn gripped his elbow, trying to offer comfort and failing in all respects. His mind skimmed over Anna’s hand on his earlier. That worked way better.
“What do you want from me?” David asked. “Forgiveness?”
Her green eyes lifted. “You are my son. Given what happened, I’m sure you won’t believe me when I say that I love you, but I have loved you every second of your life. I was hoping…to know you, I suppose.”
I love you.
No one had ever said that to him. It was baffling what those words did, the way they gouged deep into his soul.
But they were just words. Why did they feel like that?
She wouldn’t be saying them if she knew the things he’d done. A new, hollow ache lurked outside the edges of his emotions, and he hardened the ice. “I’m Galadaine’s heir. Isn’t that all anyone needs to know about me?”
A delicate line formed between her golden brows. “Of course not. The realm is judgmental of those from our bloodline, but you don’t have to weather this alone. I’m here now. I can help you. We can face this together, work on controlling your magic. We can—”
“I don’t want your help.” His heart jumped to his throat, pounding at breakneck speed.
“Please, David—”
Panic began to claw up his spine, but he forced it down. Iced it over. “I don’t want or need your help. I’ve done fine without you—”
“You’ve not been fine.” She reached for him, but he took another step back. Autumn followed. “I can help—”
“I do not want your help.” He enunciated each world—clear and sharp and cold—making sure she heard it. This woman was the reason for every bad thing that had ever happened to him. She was the bane of his entire existence.
“Please—”
“Let’s take a break, okay?” Autumn said, pulling him close. “Emotions are high. Let’s take some time to decompress, and you two can try again once you’ve had a bit to process, okay?”
David glared at her.
“She is your mother,” Autumn whispered. “You may not think so right now, but she deserves a chance.”
When he looked at Elenya once more, her mouth was set in a resigned line. “Give me five minutes, and then I will leave you be until you are ready.”
A muscle in David’s cheek ticked.
When he didn’t turn and leave, she drifted toward a hallway at the opposite side. After a glance at Autumn and a slight push from her, David followed.
The hall was dark, the overgrown vines along the walls lending an ancient and untouched vibe to the space. Elenya extracted a brass key from the folds of her creamy dress and inserted it into a half-hidden door a ways down the hall.
“What is this place?” he couldn’t help but ask.
“Galadaine’s study.”
Ah.
Likely why it had been abandoned and left to its own devices.
The door swung open to reveal a small room that immediately curled into the most coveted reaches of David’s chest. Unlike the hallway, this space was kept tidy.
Deep green armchairs inhabited one corner while a workspace dominated the area beneath the windows opposite, covered in neat stacks of books and papers.
Pots of ink and glass dip pens in a rainbow of shades formed a perfect bouquet right in the center.
Every wall was a bookshelf, and each book was clearly cared for—dust-free and conscientiously spaced.
The room was the answer to a question deep in David’s soul. It was a place he could happily die in.
Books and solitude.
What else did one need?
But at the same time, he didn’t like this proof of his similarity to Galadaine. He didn’t want to look at Galadaine’s things and think Mine.
Elenya walked through an archway, and he followed her through to an intimate sitting room, populated only by a handful of seating options.
The windows of this room were stained glass, dying the space in deep blues and neon yellows.
Light from the crystals above wavered over every surface, and Luster sparkled in the ripples.
He found himself sinking into a chair without having made any decision to do so.
He never wanted to leave this space.
His mother perched in another chair, her back straight, and jumped right to the heart of the matter.
“I fear for your safety.”
Right. The whole reason she’d abandoned him in the first place.
“I’m aware.”
“I don’t think you understand the direness of the situation, David.”
His muscles tensed, poised to spring. “I understand that I was lied to my entire life. I understand I was abandoned by my family. I understand that my own mother placed me in the hands of a psychopath.”
Her green eyes shimmered with sudden tears. Her mouth opened, but no sound emerged.
On edge, he stood, ready to flee.
“There are things you don’t know!” she said just as he reached the door.
He paused.
“There are players hiding in the shadows, David. You and Caden Sidera exist at the very center of a centuries-long unrest.”
He knew all this. “The Followers have already found me, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Her head cocked. “They have?”
“Tried to convince me Galadaine Manae wasn’t all bad. Thought I could take his place.”
“There are things even they do not know. You need to—”
“Why should I care what you think I need? Your history leaves a lot to be desired.”
She stilled. Blinked. Her mouth slowly closed. She swallowed, and it appeared to cause her a great deal of pain when she finally said, “Alright. Then whenever you are ready to listen, I’ll be here to talk.”
His heartbeat still resided inside his Adam’s apple, so David only nodded. He couldn’t imagine ever being ready. Elenya looked as if she wanted to say more, but he escaped into the dark hallway before she could.
When he reappeared in the Sunshine Room, twilight had transmuted into a blanket of navy visible through the swaying treetops, punctuated by green auroras and twinkling stars. Kywyn had gone, but Autumn stood with her hands clasped, smile thin.
Upon meeting her golden gaze, David froze.
“Breathe,” Autumn said.
He did. Slowly.
Details of his mother scalded his vision.
Golden hair.
Contrite eyes.
She’d sent him away to protect him from this realm that hated him. She’d tried to do the right thing. Was it her fault it had all turned out so drastically wrong?
He couldn’t process it. Couldn’t separate the myriad feelings that threatened to crack his ice.