Chapter 33 #2
Isobel wrenched from her seat and hurtled toward the balcony. Sean followed, bewildered, and watched as she fetched up over the railing and vomited. He rushed to hold her hair back as she retched again. Autumn tripped over the threshold to help, and Kywyn and Blaire hovered in the doorway.
“Bel?” Sean asked.
She gagged again, and he looked to Autumn for guidance.
“She’s with child,” Blaire said, tone somber.
With…child?
Before he could reconcile it, before he could even process it, Isobel burst into tears. The sky split open, and rain poured, soaking through Sean’s clothes.
He didn’t notice.
All the blood, the thoughts, the very sanity drained from his head. She was…pregnant.
It couldn’t be.
She’d said it was impossible, and he’d been taking that disgusting contraceptive tonic Cole had given him.
Isobel straightened, tears still dripping, mixing with the rain.
She let him and Autumn coax her back inside, where Blaire gave her a vial of some green liquid and Kywyn draped a blanket over her wet shoulders.
Behind it all, David leaned still as a statue against the archway, arms crossed, his unwavering gaze on Sean.
Isobel sank into a nearby chair. “Well, if this isn’t absolute proof that I’m going to die soon.”
Mouth slack, Sean stared at her. “What does that mean?”
“The Mother knows I need an heir, Sean. Meléan’s line won’t end with me.”
He rubbed his forehead, and his next word came out on a tired breath of air: “What?”
Autumn settled onto the chair beside Bel. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
Isobel’s wet eyes found her. “You don’t believe that.”
Sean looked to his father, at a loss, fighting a shiver as his wet clothes soaked into his skin.
“Our lines have to continue,” Kywyn said, tone careful. “The Mother rules everything here, Sean, even things like this. If Isobel bears this child now, her noble line persists regardless of whether she lives or dies.”
His attention danced across each of them, finally resettling on Kywyn. “Why is the assumption that this means she’ll die soon?”
“Because she’s so young,” Blaire said and perched on a chair near Bel. “Luxorians can’t have children young. We barely have children at all. If she was destined to have a long life, her heir could wait.” She rubbed Bel’s arm. “Are you feeling better with the tonic?”
Isobel’s restrained tears gave way to sobs, and Sean was tugged toward her, falling to his knees at her feet.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” she whispered.
“It’s okay,” Sean replied, pushing wet curls away from her face. “We’ll get through it.”
She looked up at him, her tears slowing. “We?”
He nearly laughed. “Yes, we. Did you think I’d abandon you?” Sean took her hand, and she squeezed so tight his knuckles popped.
“Things have been—strained,” she said.
“That doesn’t matter.”
And it didn’t. Not at all.
She gazed into his eyes, searching, and her voice dropped to a mere breath of air. “I don’t want this.”
That could have been the theme of their entire relationship.
Sean’s mind spun in several directions.
Why?
How?
Why them?
Why now?
Then came a heartbeat of terror, a lub-dub that taunted him.
Father. Father. Father.
How much more would be piled on his shoulders? The weight was so heavy, he wanted to sink to the floor. Instead, he looked toward his aunt. Behind her, Cole gazed on, expression heavy.
Tears filled Blaire’s eyes. “Your mother would have been thrilled.”
A sharp ache stabbed Sean straight in the chest at that thought. His mother would never know his child. And Blaire was right—she would have been ecstatic.
But no. Tragedy had split his family to pieces, and Sean feared it would never be made whole. Another shiver racked his frame.
His mother was dead.
His aunt wasn’t even related to him.
He barely knew his father.
The mother of his child had stolen his soul.
How had it happened that the most trusted person in his life was David Fucking Berkeley?
As he thought it, his head rose, and he found that steadfast green stare again.
This is going to change everything, he wanted to say.
David’s chin dipped just slightly, and something like I know echoed through their connection.
Isobel sniffled but then wiped her eyes and sat straight. “I am feeling better, Blaire. Thank you. But I believe I’d like to lie down.”
She stood, and Sean followed.
Kywyn cleared his throat. “Of course. I shall see you tomorrow. We’ll plan our excursions—”
A bolt of anxiety turned electric at the memory of Isobel stabbed in the stomach in Viterra. “Isobel—the baby. You won’t be able to go with us.”
Bel slapped Sean with a hard stare, lashes matted together with tears. “What? You will not go to Viterra without me.”
“Bel—”
“Go unprotected? You?” she asked, incredulous. “That’s ridiculous. How could you even think it? Absolutely not.”
“I’m not helpless. I could take a guardian—”
She straightened to her full height, emerald eyes shimmering with outrage. “You are not the one who will die should something happen to you. I will go, or you will stay here. There is no other option.”
An awkward silence descended over the room while he and Bel glared at each other.
“You won’t die if I’m hurt,” Sean finally said into the stillness.
“Stop saying that!” she nearly yelled. “Your disbelief means nothing to me. Do you understand that? Your death belongs to me, so forgive me if I find it unreasonable for you to take unnecessary risks.”
But she had a baby to think about now. He tried to reason with her. “This isn’t an unnecessary risk—”
“You will go nowhere unprotected.”
“Fine,” he said through his teeth. “We won’t be hunting anyway.”
Kywyn brushed right past the tension, his smile settling softly on his face. “It’s settled, then. I shall see you in the morning.”
Isobel nodded once, then held out her hand to hook around Sean’s elbow as if they were a courting couple from long ago.
Blaire made them wait while she gathered a bag of phials filled with that green liquid. “In case you need more.” She gripped Bel’s wrist. “I am here if you need anything.”
Isobel swallowed and took the bag. “Thank you.”
Back in her room, Sean kissed the top of her head and helped her out of her wet clothes. After changing, he slipped into the bed beside her. Her bedsheets smelled of roses, and the massive windows on the far side painted the air with galactic purple. Every shadow glinted with Luster, haunting them.
He lay facing her, and they stared at each other in silence.
He didn’t know what to say or how to feel, and he had to shove down the feeling of entrapment.
He would be tied to this woman forever now, this woman who’d lied to him and betrayed him.
His DNA would forever be mixed with hers in their child.
Sean had known, of course, on an existential level, that he was fated to be hers, that he and Isobel had been destined for each other. He couldn’t stop or even slow the magically induced love that bound them together.
But a baby was so permanent.
He hadn’t realized before today that he’d hoped something better existed for him, that perhaps one day he’d find someone he genuinely loved. When that realization hit, so did the second.
It wasn’t this baby that scared him. He liked children, and many men younger than him had found themselves in this same situation and flourished. No, it wasn’t the baby. It was what the baby represented…
Incarceration with a woman he didn’t trust. Restrained by a love he’d never wanted. Captive to a life already laid out for him.
He wiped the tears from her face when she began to cry once more. “You’re going to be fine. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Her burning hand cupped his cheek. “They’re pretty words, Sean, but you say that as if you have a choice. The truth is”—she touched her lips to his in a brief kiss—“you don’t.”