Chapter 14
Rafe
Fuck, what have I done? Why did I do that, why!
“Lina…”
I didn’t need to scent her urine to know she wet herself when it seeps into the knees of my trousers. I loosen the grip my legs have on her and allow her to twist beneath where she curls up and sobs, shattering my already breaking heart.
“Lina, look at me.” She coughs and splutters, fighting for more breath as tears fall freely down her flushed cheeks. “Look at me please. Talk to me.” My own voice is hoarse, the painful lump in my throat expands to a point of cutting off my air supply.
She coughs some more, gasping in more breath and something catches my eye. Something red, and raw. My whole body locks up as I realised what it is, or rather, what is missing.
Gripping her jaw and turning her to face me, I lean in, keeping my voice soft so as not to terrify her more than I already have. My hands shake against her wet skin.
“Who did this to you?”
My thumb strokes her bottom lip, her eyes widen, pupils dilating like a lost little rabbit caught in a bear’s trap.
Sad, her beautiful eyes so fucking sad.
“Tell me who did this to you. Please, Lina,” I beg, needing to know who cut the tongue out of this remarkable woman’s mouth, leaving her voiceless.
Oh, fuck. They took her voice. They stole her voice. Robbed her of a choice. Inflicted pain. Ripped away her body autonomy.
And I… I have just done the same. I’m going to puke.
I stumble back, landing on my ass in her piss, my stomach turning in on itself as the realisation of what a fucking bastard I am hits me with the force of a thousand bloodthirsty bulls.
I have done this to her. I… hurt her.
She moves to her knees, swiping her cheeks, her sobs and gasps ceasing. The air thickens as silence descends all around us like a leaden cloak, and I just sit there, watching her disassociate, staring into the empty space, her body so eerily still I’m unsure if she’s still breathing.
Minutes, hours, maybe even days pass, I don’t know, and I don’t care, all I care about is this beautiful woman in front of me process what I did to her, bracing myself for her defensible wrath.
Her trance is broken; she bends a knee, her barefoot gripping the wooden floor as she puts her weight down to lift herself up straight. I stay on the floor, shifting to my knees and sit back on my hunches awaiting her next move.
Why didn’t he tell me? Of the useless shit he told me he didn’t think to tell me this.
To prevent putting her through more pain through my own selfish frustrations of not having her speak words to me.
The fear in her eyes when I held her in that position now makes sense.
What I thought to be an overreaction turned out to be her re-living something so barbaric.
“I fucked up,” I choke out, hating the silence, desperate to break it.
She takes small, wobbly steps to the kitchen, her hands finding purchase on the counter. The drawers scrape open, then there’s the unmistakable sound of metal.
All my survival instincts melt beneath the shame of my actions, so I stay, frozen in my kneeled position, ready to suffer beneath her hands, as she did under mine.
Bare feet pad closer behind me, her heat seeping into the skin of my back.
She grips my hair and tugs, the sting of the pull nothing compared to the pain in the stunning grey eyes, sharp eyes, that loom over me.
The blade is pressed into the corner of my mouth, she drags it down my jaw, the metal scraping against the stubble on my neck.
My pulse beats furiously beneath it, yet my breathing is calm, slow and relaxed, almost accepting, welcoming this cruel turn of fate.
She leans in closer, a menacing shadow flicking in her eyes.
‘You will never put your hands on me again.’
A choke gets stuck in my throat at the sound of her beautiful, sweet voice in my head.
She removes the knife from my neck, tossing my head away before walking to the front door of my cabin, slamming the heavy door shut.
My head falls into both my hands, my jagged breaths heating my face before I’m yanked back.
I don’t see the punch he lands to my face.
“You stupid prick!”
I roll, dodging the next blow he rains down, his fist punching the wooden slats.
“Reverse it. Now! While there’s still time.”
“Why the fuck you give it to me then!” I spit blood at his bare feet.
“To give her a choice!”
My lungs pant, my sternum close to caving in.
To give her a choice.
Rafe steps closer, his nostrils flaring, teeth grinding, and it’s then I notice the horrific scar across his neck. My swallow must be audible, as he snorts a snicker.
“Oh this…” he points to it, “…isn’t the worst thing that happens to us. Go back, reverse it. Or we lose her.”
“Maybe she was never ours.”
His reaction is instant, gripping me by my collar. Nose to nose and toe to toe, we seethe.
He reeks of amber. His bloodshot eyes making my own water.
“She was always ours. You just don’t remember. Yet.”
What?
“You should never have come to me,” I say, hating he’s done this to us. Hating he’s put me in a position of knowing. He should have left me—us, Lina and me—be.
To let everything play out how it was always supposed to play out instead of coming back to my time trying to make the smallest things better for her.
“I know, I’m sorry, but we’re running out of time, because out there, my wife’s suppressed rage is almost at the surface, and you will be her punching bag. She passes out seeing your blood, hits her head on the hearth and dies in your incompetent arms. FIX IT!”
I stumble back as he vanishes, leaving me cold and alone and once again to clean up his mess—our—mess.
I grab a piece of Taka, my heart pounding a dozen.
FUCK!